Episode 31: Tim Mason - Life With One Limb, I'm Armed For Greatness!

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Hello, beautiful humans.
Welcome to another episode of

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Role Models juicy conversations
with beautiful humans.

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I'm Jennifer Norman founder of
the human Beauty movement and

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your host, this podcast thrives
on your support.

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So if you like what you hear,
follow us rate US review us and

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share this episode with
everyone.

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You know, our cross your
networks, so everybody get ready

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to be inspired.
Tired.

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My guest today is Tim Mason.
Tim was born in Moscow with no

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legs and one arm and he finds
that humor is the best way to

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live his life.
He shatters myths and defies all

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the stereotypes about living
with disability.

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In fact, I'd say that Tim is
thriving in his independence

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because he's learned to lean
into Joy.

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Welcome Tim.
Hi, thank you so much for having

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me.
Oh my goodness.

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I am just loving that smile.
You just light the room of

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thing.
So, it's probably the

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understatement of the century to
say that the start of your life

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was not very easy.
So, can you tell us about that?

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Yeah, absolutely.
I'm so, for those that don't

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know, I actually just shared my
story recently on my public

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platforms, but I've always been
pretty discreet about it, not in

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the sense of I'm hiding
anything, but it's been very

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important to me.
So I was initially born in

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Moscow.
Russia.

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And I was born, a triple amputee
and my mother had given me a

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bird.
Adoption.

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And I think that in the time, I
was born 1997, they didn't have

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the equipment to be able to see
in the womb and stuff like that.

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So I think I was a total
surprise, so when I came out,

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you know, with my birth defects,
it was I assumed to be a shock

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to my biological mother.
So she gave me up for adoption

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and the only thing that she
locked with me was a paper that

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said she didn't want to raise a
monster and hearing that as a

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kid.
I was like what?

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Like I'm never considered myself
a monster but I think More that

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I grew up and not that I you
know, get what she meant by that

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because I absolutely don't.
But I do think that I understand

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her position and every day I'm
actually grateful for her choice

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because I think it brought me
here and it gave me the life

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that I had the freedom to be
independent and Independence is

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something I really treasure.
So growing up, I was adopted by

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my adopted mom at the age of 2
years and 9 months.

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And from then on, I like to say,
that's when my life began

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because I did not talk at all in
the orphanage.

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Age I really had.
No a fact I was just, you know,

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there and when I met my mom and
she said, as soon as I got on

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the plane, that's when I started
like talking and everything like

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that.
And she had initially found me

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on a website and she had said
that she was with her friend.

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And her friend said, oh my God,
that boy is an angel.

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You had to go visit him.
So she got in a plane came and

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visited me.
She my dad and they found he was

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like amazing and stuff like that
and then she was in a room with

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an orphanage director, and
Orphanage director was going on

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about how this poor boy would
live no life have no quality of

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life and, you know, depending on
everyone and just sad and really

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have no value of life.
And I she looked over at me and

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I was making fish faces at her.
So I was going like with my labs

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and imitating, the orphanage
director and she said in that

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moment she knew that there was
so much more to me.

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So she got me on a plane and I
like I said, I think that's like

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when my life started and so I
had a pretty normal childhood.

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Hood, I think growing up, I
really never felt like I missed

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out on any opportunities hopping
around the playground.

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I had bunch of friends, I was on
a kickball team.

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I use my hands to kick the ball
and just a bunch of stuff.

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I think you know unfortunately
as I progress that's when you

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kind of see when you get older
you do see the disability

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stereotypes and factors
available as but I think growing

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up I did not at first.
Wow, I love how I had listened

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to one of your videos and you
said, well, I was born Big, but

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still delicious.
And I ha, ha ha, sorry, just you

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drinking your door?
No, I thought that was

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hilarious.
But I mean, you definitely do

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have that sense of humor about
things, which is amazing and

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hearing about your story.
What you said is exactly right.

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If your mom didn't have the
capacity to be able to raise

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someone that she wasn't able to
understand or feel that she

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could give the kind of love that
you deserve, Curved.

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Then I think that she did give
you a gift in some sort of way.

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Of course, it was hard to
comprehend the manner in which

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she did it understandably.
That could be extremely hurtful

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for anybody to hear.
But in thinking about the new

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life that you were afforded
afterwards and coming into a

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family that absolutely want to
do, absolutely loved you and

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gave you all these opportunities
for you to feel a special and is

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loved and as joyful as you can,
Amen to that.

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Absolutely.
Yeah.

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I mean I look at as Like a get
because I truly think that I

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tried a lot of people thought,
it asked me what it would be

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like if I was still in Russia
and go out there and I honestly,

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you know, I obviously don't know
the climate there right now, but

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I can confidently say it would
be nowhere to where my life is

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right now and I wouldn't have
the freedom, you know, to be me.

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And that's something like I
said, I cherish and you said

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that, you believe that your mom
was exposed to radiation, your

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biological mom was exposed to
radiation, most likely from

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Chernobyl.
And there were statistics that

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something like 600 Thousand
children were born having

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defects as a result of that,
nuclear exposure.

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I'm just so overwhelmed.
By the way, that you have

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blossoms from the understanding
that you had this beginning

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knowing that you weren't alone.
Perhaps was also maybe some sort

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of respite some sort of help and
understanding.

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Wow there were a lot of children
that really had it hard.

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A lot of families that did
suffer some consequences that

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they didn't expect because of an
accident that was not

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necessarily handled in the best
way.

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You were able to actually come
to a complete different place

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from that and that's pretty
extraordinary.

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That is the stuff of Miracles, I
think.

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Absolutely.
Yeah.

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I mean, even hearing that story
when I was growing up because

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that's what the orphanage
director is, told my mom and

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just hearing that I was like,
wow.

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I mean, that's crazy.
And, you know, I looked up the

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statistics, I've done papers
about it, and it was just huge

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event and, you know, the
radiation still there.

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It's insane.
How impactful something like

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that was?
Yeah, I've known people that

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have gone back and done tours.
Of the actual facility they have

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to wear the, you know, the gear
to make sure that they don't

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have any radiation issues when
they go there.

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But I think about this almost as
this massive metaphor thinking

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about a toxic environment.
Now that is probably as toxic as

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anything on Earth can get and
that radiation did spill in to a

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lot of people's cells.
And for Generations, there's

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going to be an impact because of
that and here is a situation

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where I think that a lot of
people get Cells into not

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necessarily physically toxic
environments.

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Such as your mom did in all of
those people that were so close

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to Chernobyl.
But in having the emotional

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toxicity in their lives and they
feel that there's something

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wrong with them, they feel that
they're handicapped in some way

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because of the emotional
toxicity that they've been

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exposed to knowing that there is
a different way.

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There's a different way of
living, there's a different

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mindset that we can get
ourselves into.

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There's a different path that we
can all take, but it really

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does.
Start from understanding.

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It's not necessarily you,
there's nothing wrong with you,

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you're perfect the way that you
are.

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And let's just really think
about all of those things that

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make us special and unique.
And look at all the people's

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lives that you've been able to
touch with your story.

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Yeah, I mean, I think that's
such a good point.

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It really is so true.
And I think one of the things a

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lot of people ask me about being
disabled is how I'm limited.

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And I think when I think about
limitations, I don't think of

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just strictly disabilities.
I think about anything in life

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that hinders us because life
Hard.

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It's difficult.
And you know whether it's a

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physical obstacle that's thrown
at you on mental and emotional

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one.
Anything can come at you and it

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can be rough.
So I like to say, you know, it's

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not just physical disabilities.
I can hinder, stop, you.

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It's literally anything.
And I think it's like how you

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overcome that, that's important.
Absolutely.

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And so give you were saying that
growing up, you had friends,

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you're playing on the playground
things were pretty happy.

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And certainly I think that there
are people that are just going

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to not be Understanding or want
to maybe put other people down.

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And a lot of that is stemming
from their own issues with

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themselves.
If they feel that they need to

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bully somebody else, they're
probably bullying themselves

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even a hundredfold.
Yeah, I mean, I definitely think

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that it, you know, growing up
actually it was actually

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interesting as a kid.
I never had was really ever

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bullied by my students like, you
know, in third grade for

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example, but I mostly saw it was
adults that were nervous about a

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kid.
Disabilities.

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You know like I found that their
mothers would like if the kid

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asked me what was wrong with me,
you know, their mothers would be

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like, hush don't ask that you
know and they be scared and

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nervous and stuff like that.
And I think I really realized I

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was like, you know, it's not the
kids where this gets instilled.

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It's the grown-ups where, you
know, these adults don't know

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how to interact with people with
disabilities or ask questions

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because it's considered bullying
or it's considered crossing a

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boundary and stuff like that and
then it ends up getting stolen

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kids, you're exactly right.
And I have a very similar

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situation in that my My son is
disabled, he is nonverbal

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non-mobile and he lives on life
support.

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He's on a ventilator with extra
oxygen and when he was little, I

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remember bringing him to a park
or to a playground and the kids

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would stare or they would come
up and be like what's wrong with

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him and the parents would be
mortified.

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The parents would be like you
know, they didn't want the child

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to be rude and so they would
quickly pull them away which led

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to all sorts of awkwardness but
I would say you know it's okay

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come on you know because it's
important for kids to interact

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And get it and understand it and
figure it out.

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And once you get past that fear
of, oh, somebody's different and

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you understand, then that breaks
down walls and those barriers

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and helps to let that love come
through.

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So, as a result of this
happening, time and time again,

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we decided to write some books
about it.

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We decided to write kids books,
which are called the adventures

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of super Captain Brave, man
where it's this child, who's a

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protagonist in a wheelchair and
he helps other kids to learn

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about different kinds of
disabilities and This is a way

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for parents and Educators to
bond with children and to help

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teach them these lessons, that
are otherwise really difficult

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to do on your own and you can
bed time, story time in the

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classroom, and it's just a
really good way for kids to ask

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that, you know, safe questions
about conditions and to know

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what to do and what to say and
how to act afterwards.

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Wow, that's amazing.
I wish I had that book growing

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up because it would have helped
in a lot of situations.

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I'll find you.
Some, you can keep them for that

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come and visit.
For sure.

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Now I know that on your social
media, you've got some amazing

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videos where you're working out,
you mention, you're doing it to

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get healthier, what does a
workout with Timmy look like so

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over a cow with Timmy looks like
definitely not organized or have

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any structure.
It's just truly what I'm

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feeling.
I'm capable of that day.

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I think, you know, we all have
to give ourselves credit for a

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tough day, but I think as long
as you got through the gym

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doors, you know, even got
dressed and get ready to go to

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the gym.
That's the first step.

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So working out has actually been
a New Journey for me.

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00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,800
This year last year.
I struggled a lot with my way

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00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:45,700
and I got to a point where I was
about 178 pounds and for a

227
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:48,400
person with no legs and I'm
missing right arm in a

228
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:51,800
wheelchair, that's not good, you
know, moving and breathing was

229
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,600
just overall difficult.
And when I was a kid, I could

230
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,200
effortlessly, you know, do a lap
with my hand just hopping

231
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,100
around.
And so that got really

232
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:03,000
difficult.
So I said, okay, you know, II

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got to figure out how I can get
some movement, because being

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constrained in a wheelchair is,
you know, you don't get the

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00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,700
movement that a normal
able-bodied person would

236
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:15,500
normally get.
So I started the gym workout and

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00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,300
it normally, regular routine
where I'm being absolutely.

238
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:21,900
Perfect is about 10 to 15
minutes on the treadmill and

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00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:26,000
then I do some weights where I
pull down and then work on my

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00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,800
biceps and curls, and then I end
with push-ups.

241
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:32,700
Ups and doing my back.
So I found that that has been a

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00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:35,400
huge transformative Journey for
me, as far as like, being able

243
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,400
to move and finding that, not
only does it help me physically,

244
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,600
but mentally, it's helped me so
much.

245
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,700
It's become such a great
distress herb.

246
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:45,400
I've had a really hard day, I
hop on that treadmill and I

247
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:49,200
waddle away all my, you know,
stress of the day.

248
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,800
I listen to my playlist and I'm,
we sat, yeah, I get those

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00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,400
endorphins up, definitely.
Wow.

250
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:59,100
So, do you have any items that
you use to help make working at

251
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:00,900
any easier?
Are more accessible.

252
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,500
Yeah.
So I definitely do.

253
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:06,600
I think it's, you know, as a
disabled person well in general

254
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,600
walking to a gym is super
intimidating.

255
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:11,200
You know, you see all this heavy
equipment, you see these fit

256
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,600
people, knowing what they're
doing, you know, like what do I

257
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,300
do?
So when I first went into my

258
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:18,000
gym, I was like, oh my gosh, I
felt so overwhelmed.

259
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,500
But I actually found that for
me, it was a lot more adaptive

260
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,700
than I thought and I park my
wheelchair right up to my

261
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:27,500
treadmill, top on it.
And I put on a safety clip as

262
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:30,900
far as like the weights and
stuff sometimes Zile tie like a

263
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:33,800
rope if it's too far up.
I'll tie a rope to pull it down

264
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,800
more and I have gotten some
personal pieces as far as like

265
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,200
weights that are a bit smaller
and single-handed that I can use

266
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:45,900
and as well as a crunch roller
that you can use with one hand.

267
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,100
So it's really about I think
just like figuring out what

268
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:50,700
works for you and how you can
adapt to that situation.

269
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:54,400
I'm curious how accessibility
has been for you through the

270
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,400
Journey of your life.
Have you noticed, anything

271
00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:02,400
improving as far as the way
things are Signed or even places

272
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,800
that you go the where they're a
bit more accommodating these

273
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,700
days versus before.
Yeah I definitely have noticed,

274
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:11,700
I think now with the regulations
and everything, you know, new

275
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:14,600
buildings and anything really
has to be considered.

276
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,700
So I think as far as that
accommodations, it's been

277
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:19,300
accessibility it's been really
good.

278
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:23,300
I think the more I visit older
places and things that haven't

279
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:26,000
had that structural change is
very difficult.

280
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:29,300
I have found that you know I've
had a lot of hindrances getting

281
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,900
into buildings doing job hunt
and stuff.

282
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:36,100
Some offices were just not up to
par with the structure for

283
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:40,900
accessibility and unfortunately
it's kind of a free pass because

284
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:45,200
it was made before the Ada was
impacted and stuff like that.

285
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,500
So I think in that sense yes
it's been difficult.

286
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:51,600
But overall it's been pretty
achievable.

287
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,900
I wouldn't say it's been too
much of a stress.

288
00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:57,500
I think there is every moment
now and then where I kind of

289
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:59,700
forget and then I realize I'm
like, oh my gosh.

290
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,200
I'm in a wheelchair and this is
going to be difficult.

291
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,900
Mmm.
Now you also if you're very

292
00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:08,000
similar to me and that you
actually do cleaning in order to

293
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,100
help improve your mood, I find
it really cathartic.

294
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:13,900
It's very rare that I have a
cleaning person, comes to my

295
00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:15,600
house.
I usually have done it all

296
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:19,500
myself and even, you know, some
of the things and fixing and

297
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:22,000
maintenance that a lot of people
would say just call somebody and

298
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,200
like I'm going to do it, you
know, but you actually posted

299
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,200
some videos, you know, cleaning
up your apartment after a bad

300
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:32,000
day.
Yes, I am.

301
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,300
I would love to say I'm a
naturally clean person, but I'm

302
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:40,500
not, I make clutter, and I think
when clutter gets too high, it

303
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:43,300
adds to my stress.
So it really helps to alleviate

304
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:46,400
that stress, by doing a whole
cleanse, I started doing the

305
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,800
Sunday resets where I go through
on a Sunday morning and just

306
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:53,100
like reset my whole apartment.
Anything that I need to do to

307
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:56,800
get back into it, but I find
that cleaning has be cut and

308
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,700
it's actually funny because as a
kid I hated cleaning my mom.

309
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:02,900
Tell me to like, you know,
sweet, the my room or clean

310
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:04,500
under the bed or anything I
hated.

311
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,900
And I would do anything to
procrastinate.

312
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:09,200
But now as an adult, I'm like,
oh my God, this is so relaxing,

313
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:15,800
which is weird to say but it
depresses me and you went to

314
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,900
college, I understand, right?
Tell me about that.

315
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,700
Yes, I went to first one to
Community College and got my

316
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:25,800
associates degree because I
wasn't quite ready to leave the

317
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,100
nest.
And then after that, I started I

318
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:31,400
transferred to To University of
Connecticut.

319
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,300
And that's when I started going
to Uconn and it was an amazing

320
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:35,500
school.
I loved it.

321
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:39,100
I just graduated into last
December with my bachelor's in

322
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:40,500
human development and family
science.

323
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:44,600
Congratulations, that is huge.
That is huge.

324
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:49,400
Do you have any mottoes or any
phrases quotes that you like to,

325
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:52,400
you know, use during the day to
keep you going?

326
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:56,300
Yeah, absolutely I think one
that I've always lived by, as I

327
00:16:56,300 --> 00:17:00,300
can and I will that has always
been a personal motto for Me

328
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:04,400
because I think as far as
motivation and wanting to get

329
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,400
stuff done and boils down to you
and how much you want it.

330
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,099
So I really find that one helps
me a lot.

331
00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:12,500
I can I will.
There's also word that my mom

332
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:15,900
used a lot with me as a kid and
she would call me Relentless and

333
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,800
she didn't always use it in the
best manner.

334
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,300
She was like you are so
relentless you know, because I

335
00:17:20,308 --> 00:17:24,300
would like, you know, be very
hard-headed but I found that I

336
00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:26,000
have so much appreciation for
that word.

337
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,900
Now she would tell me Relentless
was my middle name because I

338
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,600
never stopped.
And I think now I look back at

339
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:35,300
it and realized what my mom met
as far as like, you know, to get

340
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,700
to where you're going, you can't
stop.

341
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:40,200
You had to keep going and you
have to put up that fight and be

342
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,700
relentless.
Mmm, do you feel comfortable

343
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:44,800
telling us about your coming out
story?

344
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,900
Yeah, absolutely.
I had a pretty ordinary coming

345
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,500
out story.
As far as from, you know, my

346
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:54,900
peers and what I've heard, that
identify I think mine was very

347
00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:58,400
natural occurring.
I started in high school.

348
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,400
Well, actually Middle.
School was When I started to

349
00:18:00,408 --> 00:18:03,700
notice, but I was nowhere near
approaching it because I had the

350
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:06,600
kind of idea that, you know, is
going to get married to a woman

351
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,800
and do all that.
And I also was scared, I think

352
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:13,100
being disabled because I was
like, oh my gosh like not only

353
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:16,800
am I disabled but I'm gay too
like you know, and I now I look

354
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,800
at it, such a positive thing but
back then that was scary, you

355
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,400
know, gay marriage wasn't even
approved by then you know.

356
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,300
So I was like my gosh, I have
another hindrance in my life, so

357
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:29,600
I was very nervous and I tried
tonight.

358
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,700
In it.
And then I think the more I kind

359
00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:35,700
of comfortable with myself in
high school sophomore year I

360
00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:39,900
came out to my best friend
first, and once she had accepted

361
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:43,400
me, I was thought a lot more
happy.

362
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,500
And then I came out to my mom.
I remember, she had just

363
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:49,000
finished up work and we had got
in the car.

364
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,500
And she asked what I wanted for
dinner.

365
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:53,000
I literally started bawling and
I was like, crying.

366
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,100
I was like, Mom.
I think I'm gay and she just

367
00:18:56,100 --> 00:19:00,000
looked at me and it's so funny
because she was like, I know, I

368
00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:02,300
was like and I feel like I've
heard that before, but I was

369
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:04,500
like, okay.
She's like, I've known for a

370
00:19:04,508 --> 00:19:07,600
while and I've waited for you to
feel comfortable and I think

371
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,600
that you know, at first I was
shocked.

372
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,900
I was like, what?
Because, you know, she knew

373
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:16,000
before me, I guess, but I think
it was so heartwarming to, you

374
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,300
know, realize that my mom knew
and never pushed me in any

375
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:22,000
direction or ask me.
You know, she'd ask me about my

376
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,000
girlfriend's, I made up in high
school and all this stuff and,

377
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,700
you know, she'd go along with it
until I was comfortable.

378
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,300
So I think that was such a
blessing As far as my coming out

379
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,500
story.
So we sat down and talked for

380
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:37,400
about the rest of the day, and
it was one of my Fondest

381
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,300
Memories with her.
Oh my goodness.

382
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:42,200
She sounds like an incredible
woman, incredible indeed.

383
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:45,600
So have you been dating?
So dating has been a little

384
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,600
tricky as a disabled person?
And I think that is, when I

385
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,400
would love to say my confidence
is always high.

386
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,700
But in the dating world, it's
not, I think it's very hard with

387
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:58,300
day, especially the way we date.
Now, it's all online.

388
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:02,500
I feel like, I think Very hard.
I just want all the fellas out

389
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:07,500
there to hear this.
Got a hot babe right here, that

390
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:12,300
is an absolute bun-bun.
He ready for you.

391
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,700
He's waiting for you to just,
you know, give him that swipe

392
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:17,600
right?
Or oh my gosh.

393
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:21,000
You have me dying over here.
It's I mean God.

394
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:26,700
What's not to love here.
Yeah, so dating has been

395
00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:29,400
difficult.
I did go on a date last a

396
00:20:29,408 --> 00:20:31,900
couple.
Four months ago and it was good.

397
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,700
I definitely got me out of my
comfort zone.

398
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:37,300
Just looking for different
things though, unfortunately.

399
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:40,300
So you know, I'm not putting any
pressure on anything.

400
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:43,500
I'm just seeing, what life takes
me in, if someone joins my life

401
00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:45,800
and wants more of me, I'll serve
it up.

402
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,500
Absolutely.
Well, you know, I had on as a

403
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:55,200
guest not that long ago, Gabe,
Adams meet Lee and boy that was

404
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:59,500
a lot of fun hearing about how
he and his boyfriend now,

405
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:02,500
husband mad.
And it's just, you know, it does

406
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:04,700
happen.
I mean, I haven't had very much

407
00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:09,100
luck myself, so I don't know if
it has anything to do with

408
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:11,700
anything other than the fact
that, you know, sometimes you

409
00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:14,700
find somebody who's meant for
you and, you know, however, long

410
00:21:14,700 --> 00:21:17,600
you know, good things come to
those who wait, yes.

411
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,500
Absolutely.
I as far as Gabe Adams, we

412
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:23,000
actually just followed each
other on media and he is

413
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,500
amazing.
I mean what a guy is so

414
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:28,700
inspirational as far as just
like, you know, and it's funny

415
00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:31,200
actually I just found myself
using the word inspirational

416
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,600
because I think as disabled
people we often kind of you know

417
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:38,600
feel weary of that word.
As far as you know, we're just

418
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,500
living.
So he now is a trailblazer.

419
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:46,100
I mean, just wow.
As far as the dating scene, I

420
00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:49,300
think what I found out.
Know about you but I found

421
00:21:49,300 --> 00:21:50,900
learning to be happy with
myself.

422
00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:54,200
Has been my most important thing
I think like before I'm ready

423
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,800
for a relationship even.
It's like the comfort of knowing

424
00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:01,100
that I'm content sitting in this
room by myself with my dog and

425
00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:04,100
I'm happy I love that.
You mentioned that because I

426
00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:07,700
have heard all too often people
saying, well I want to date

427
00:22:07,700 --> 00:22:10,100
somebody or I want to meet
somebody because I don't want to

428
00:22:10,108 --> 00:22:13,000
be alone and I think that that's
kind of the wrong reason.

429
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,500
Why you should date somebody and
why you should get involved with

430
00:22:15,508 --> 00:22:17,600
somebody what you said is
exactly right.

431
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:21,800
Loving yourself, first, being
okay with yourself first, caring

432
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,100
for yourself.
First is where it's at and then

433
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:27,800
attract whoever comes to you
because that's when it's going

434
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:31,200
to be the most significant and
the best way forward.

435
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,600
If you're looking for somebody
to complete you or to compensate

436
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,700
for everything that you're not,
whoo, gets a little bit tricky

437
00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:40,200
that way.
Yeah, it gets very tough.

438
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,300
I think that the such an
important mindset to have, I

439
00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:47,100
definitely have found that, you
know, it's hard to be completely

440
00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:49,600
happy with Yourself.
I have days where I wake up and

441
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,700
you know sometimes we don't have
good days but I think if you are

442
00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:55,800
comfortable in your own skin
and, you know, being by yourself

443
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,000
without having, someone fill
that hole or void, that is the

444
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,400
most important thing for
yourself.

445
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,500
And then once you're there
getting to that, our

446
00:23:02,508 --> 00:23:04,800
relationship will be so much
easier because you're not

447
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,800
looking to have a space filled,
but you're looking to have

448
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:11,300
someone Stand By Your Side.
Yeah, speaking of self, love and

449
00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:13,800
self care.
You are a dude who likes his

450
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:18,800
skin care.
Do yes.

451
00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:21,100
Yeah, I have like your, what is
your rich?

452
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:23,200
And well, what kind of products
do you use?

453
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,900
What do you like?
Yeah, so that again, I, you

454
00:23:26,908 --> 00:23:30,300
know, this whole year has been
as self transformative Journey.

455
00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:34,700
For me, I do not care about my
skin at all before last year.

456
00:23:34,700 --> 00:23:37,900
So this year, I started in
suffered through acne a lot and

457
00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:41,200
I started using a kind of
different products, and I have

458
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,400
a, this not sponsored by the
way, but if you guys want to

459
00:23:43,408 --> 00:23:48,300
sponsor me, let me know now but
I started using polish Choice,

460
00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:52,000
which is a really good facial
cleanser and has a solicitor

461
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,600
look acid component, that I
really like perfect for my skin

462
00:23:55,600 --> 00:24:00,700
and then I use Pharmacy filling
serum, which is really amazing.

463
00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:03,400
I find that it really
moisturizes my skin and gives me

464
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:07,200
that full look.
And for I have eyebags, I called

465
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,100
my grocery bags under my eyes.
They're not Designer.

466
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:14,200
Unfortunately, I wish.
Um, and for that, I use a

467
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,500
standard brightening cream from
Sephora.

468
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,800
Then as far as I know, I think
that's it.

469
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,200
Yeah.
And then, at night, I use it.

470
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,700
I don't know if you've heard
about Le Niche products, I

471
00:24:24,700 --> 00:24:27,800
really like that, easy water,
gel mask that you can leave on

472
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,200
overnight as well as a nice ERM
great.

473
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,400
Great products, you found for
yourself and your skin is

474
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,600
glowing.
You absolutely look like you

475
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:39,500
videos, you know, get it to a
place where, you know, find it

476
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:42,300
looking as healthy as it feels,
which is wonderful.

477
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:46,100
Amazing, amazing.
Yeah, now my last question for

478
00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:49,200
you, if you could wave a magic,
Magic wand and change.

479
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,500
One thing about the world.
What would that be?

480
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,200
Oh, that's tough.
If I could do that, I think I

481
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:58,000
would eliminate the stereotypes
that we have so heavily

482
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:01,500
infiltrated in our society and
it whether it's about your

483
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:05,300
physical appearance or anything,
I find that every day.

484
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:08,500
I see these stereotypes and how
harmful it is, you know, not

485
00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:11,700
just to disabled people.
But to anyone that suffers, that

486
00:25:11,700 --> 00:25:15,100
might not look, the ideal image
and I think, you know, as far as

487
00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:18,300
like being beautiful and stuff
like that, if We could just

488
00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:22,000
eliminate this idea of level
that you have to live up to, you

489
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,400
know, it would do so much good
for society because I think

490
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,700
that, at the end of the day, a
lot of love generates from

491
00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:32,500
self-love and how can we get
self-love when we have magazines

492
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:36,200
and ads, and all, you know, just
everything infiltrating Society

493
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,000
telling us, you had to look like
this.

494
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,800
You have to be this like in the
gay community.

495
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,800
For example, I find, you know,
you asked about dating, it's a

496
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:47,100
little hard because we, for a
group of people that have been

497
00:25:47,700 --> 00:25:51,400
So, ferocious and demanding
equality and have fought such a

498
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,900
hard battle.
We ourselves are really

499
00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:57,900
judgmental and have body
standards, you know, and I find

500
00:25:57,900 --> 00:26:02,900
that if you're not a guy, if
you're not as 6-foot masculine

501
00:26:02,900 --> 00:26:06,700
or a twink or whatever have you
you know, the dating pool is

502
00:26:06,700 --> 00:26:11,200
very hard.
It is so I definitely would do

503
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,500
that.
As far as like stereotypes, just

504
00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:16,400
the way we view everyone and you
know, stuff like that.

505
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:17,600
Yeah, yeah.
I think.

506
00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:19,800
That's beautiful.
Thank you so much for that.

507
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:20,800
I agree.
I agree.

508
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,600
If we could get rid of
stereotypes judgment labels and

509
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,600
just lived through a place of
Love, wouldn't that be amazing?

510
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,500
But what we're not perfect but
work, you know, we can continue

511
00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:32,900
to improve and have more
understanding have more

512
00:26:32,900 --> 00:26:36,300
compassion for our fellow human
beings each and every day.

513
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,600
Yeah, will be a better day than
today?

514
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,700
I can you continue on that path?
I know.

515
00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:43,100
Yeah, I think it's so important
to do that.

516
00:26:44,100 --> 00:26:47,000
Well Tim, thank you so much.
I love seeing your dog.

517
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,100
What's your dog?
Cambridge name is Cambridge.

518
00:26:50,100 --> 00:26:51,500
I got.
Oh, he's coming together.

519
00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:56,500
Yes, I got him last year and so
he's such a good boy.

520
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,600
Do you also have a cat?
I do not have a cat now.

521
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,400
Okay.
For some reason that you also

522
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,300
had a cat, but your dog is
precious.

523
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:07,200
I do I have a cat statue, you
maybe you've seen in my videos.

524
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,600
I have a statue of a cat that my
mom gave me.

525
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,700
It's in my laundry room so that
you may have seen that.

526
00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:19,100
Thank you so much.
For being on the role model show

527
00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:20,600
today.
It was such a delight to speak

528
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,100
with you.
Thank you so much.

529
00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:22,700
Jennifer