Episode 9: Logan Alcosiba, Trans Model Activist - How I Set Myself Free

0:06 Hello, beautiful humans. Welcome to another episode of Role Models juicy conversations with beautiful humans. I'm Jennifer Norman founder of the human Beauty movement and your host. Well, it is June. It is pride month and it is the perfect time to introduce you to my extraordinary. Guest Logan, Alka seba when Logan was only 15 years old? She bravely shared her truth that she was a transgender woman. Fortunately Logan's announcement was predominantly met with support. She would go on to become her City's first openly gay transgender athlete and ASB president and homecoming. Queen, one of the first for California and during High School.

0:50 Logan was medically, transitioning, breaking down barriers and transgender healthcare. She became the first known minor of Kaiser Permanente to be. Proved for and undergo gender affirmation surgery, allowing future youth similar opportunities today. Logan is a model represented by agencies and La New York and London and it's Logan's mission to achieve better representation for all including transgender women of color. So that one day, it will no longer be necessary to come out. Welcome. Logan. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I am so pleased. To have you here. So let's start it out. I'd love to win back to the early days and what you were like as a child.

1:36 What your family was like, please share as much as you'd like. Yeah of course. When I was a toddler it was pretty evident to my parents. I was more feminine whenever me and my younger sister would play dress-up or play with toys. I always gravitated towards more feminine, toys, feminine, clothing. And my parents they didn't really necessarily care about that. They were very easy. Wang and just thought, oh, she's a toddler. You know, this is just a time to play. It wasn't that serious? And so that was just me, having fun. And my parents were just being great parents, and letting me have fun and I didn't even realize I was different until I entered kindergarten because I showed up to class one day, wearing pink nail polish and one of my classmates had pointed that out to the rest of the class. And that's when a lot of them came in, and And started poking fun at me and calling me names and stuff like that. Obviously, I felt a bit embarrassed and more insecure because I didn't realize that that was quote-unquote wrong after that event happened.

2:44 I restricted myself more from expressing my feminine side and not necessarily playing with the same toys to play with or where the same things I used to wear, and it was a bit debilitating at such a young age to realize how - the world. Be towards your own self expression C. And so, then after that, you essentially felt like you had to hide who you were, and you were doing that all the way up until High School, right? Correct. Correct. Because the following year, after kindergarten, I had learned about Gwen araujo. And she was a 17 year old transgender Latino who lived in my hometown of Newark, California. And I learned her story when I was 7 years old at my birthday party and her I wasn't told in a necessarily validating way because it was still the early 2000s had the time, but I understood that she was trans like me was a color like me and looked in my hometown and I also learned that she was murdered because she was trams and hearing that story at such a young age after identifying with the one and only person.

3:52 I knew who to identify with that, that age. It was so frightening. I was just frozen in fear at the prospect of Being killed because of who I am and joining that in, with already being teased about my self expression. I felt it was necessary to completely hide, who I was for my own safety. And so, I very much policed my thoughts. My actions, my words, just any kind of behaviors, that could be coded as feminine. I restricted that and it just became a very isolating experience, all those years from my childhood and to my adolescence and I just I felt extremely guilty because I wasn't sharing who I truly was with the people.

4:34 I care the most about who I knew cared about me, but there was this mentality, that kind of invaded. My thoughts in that, whenever someone would say I love you in my head, I would think no, you don't because you don't know who I am true. And so thinking that over years and years, I felt so lonely because I believe, no one knew who I was and I felt like Couldn't share who I was with anyone. I just didn't know what to do throughout my day of my entire childhood. I didn't know what to do for years because I just felt so alone and I didn't know how to reach out to people. What was the Turning Point ultimately that caused you to really find that courage to even despite how you knew that certain Trends people were being treated, how your family might be perceiving you what was it that all the sudden at the age of 15 caused you to say? I need to be true to who I really am. One of the turning points was actually in junior high, when I first learned about the word transgender, so having that access to language You find community and to know that yes we are out there.

5:45 Yes, we have existed because that because of knowing the word transgender and that was just because of the internet because I had remembered when story. And so I looked her up you know on Wikipedia I found myself seeing her story from A New Perspective one that wasn't just rooted in tragedy but also an inspiration and that she was herself no matter the consequences. She was that brave and that True to herself. And I completely commend her for that and obviously she made a mark on my life even though we never met each other and I carried that with me into high school when I started making so many more connections through leadership, through Sports, through clubs, through my classes. I was making friends that guilt that I was touching on earlier about having relationships and feeling like there wasn't a solid foundation of Truth within them. I felt more inclined to share my truth as Transgender woman with people because I get was just getting to me. It was nearly pushing me towards that edge of No, Return of not seeing the point of life, if I wasn't actually going to live it, I knew I had to tell my parents because I felt like I owed that to them after all that they had done for me and for the love that I have for them.

7:04 So on May 31st 2014, I had written this long letter down. Planning on handing it to my parents because it was just, it's too hard for me to, like, vocalize what? I had experienced. What my truth was. I had written down this letter, I planned to give it to them that night while they were asleep and just slip it under their door. But when the moment came, I looked at my letter and I just crumpled it up into this ball and I was like, I'm just going to keep it simple. So I took a Post-It note instead. And wrote down, I'm transgender, I'm sorry. I didn't tell you sooner love Logan.

7:47 And after a bit of back and forth in the middle of the night, I slipped it under their door. I went back into my room and I cried myself to sleep. It was the longest night and the shortest night of my life because I had woken up the next morning, and it felt like time, just did not exist. I woke up both, my parents were sitting beside my bed. Just For me to wake up and I turn to them and they were just so gentle with how they were speaking to me and they were like, Logan, we want you to know that we love you. And whenever you're ready to talk, we'll be in the living room and then they left.

8:27 And then I had a moment of like, oh my gosh, this is real. This is happening right now after all this time. And so I stepped into the living room and my parents were just waiting for me on the couch. They were just smiling. Eiling. And we had the most freeing conversation I've ever had. In that, they reassured me that they loved me, they will always love me and that this was just going to be a learning experience for them and that they knew that I was their child and that I will always be their child and that they're going to do their absolute best to support me. However, they could that obviously maybe bawl my eyes out from that moment. We take that journey together of learning because, you know, I had done. This learning on my own.

9:13 And so I knew part of this coming out process, for me personally, was to also in a sense, hold their hand when it came to this learning process. After all, that time of them holding my hand and guiding me through life. I was like, okay I guess this is my turn to guide them, through learning more about me and the strengthening our relationship with each other, as parent and child, they admitted, they didn't really know anything about being transgender or about the transgender community. And so they really took the initiative to watch These TV shows documentaries, look up, websites organizations, read books, and read articles. They did anything and everything they could get their hands on. They really did that work to find out who I was and how to best support me throughout this entire transition period.

9:58 They were just the best parents. You could hope to have when coming out in 2014 as transgender that was at the end of my freshman year of high school. When I told them on, May 31st 2014. During pride month that year, we started to go to doctors appointments because I knew medically. Transitioning was a process that I personally wanted to go to and something that we had access to. I began taking hormone blockers, to stop the majority of the testosterone that was coursing through my body at the time. Over the summer, we continue to go to doctors appointments. I also had met up with the rest of my family, my external family.

10:39 So after also telling my sister who is Extremely supportive. I told the rest of my family. My grandparents my aunt's. My uncle's my cousins. Everybody that was also pretty difficult process. My mom's had was very supportive. My dad's side was a bit of a mixed bag due to religious reasons. I knew that this was going to take some time, I knew that throughout my life, I had grown that patients within me to understand that too, many of my family members, this is a new thing and I'm not going to Expect them to just completely embrace it though. I had hoped for that. So I kind of took on that responsibility of educating them and giving them resources and hoping that they would do their part to take advantage of those resources and to learn on their own and to learn with me. But after I had told my family over the summer, in between my freshman and sophomore year of high school as a sophomore year was approaching, I had told School administrators like the principal vice principal the Poletik director and my coaches. Because at the time I was in cross-country, the principal and vice-principal.

11:48 They were a bit on the fence about what to do. As far as what facilities, I could use with the bathrooms and the locker rooms. They weren't really sure what the rules were. But after a little encouragement from me and my parents, I'm showing them that. Yes, I am allowed to use the girls restroom and the girls locker room. We got the green light and after having a conversation, Be athletic director and her looking up whether or not I could compete on the girls team we found out that I could because California had made it law that year in 2014 that I as a trans, girl was allowed to participate in sports on girls teams. And so when school began, I basically came out to everybody online. I typed on Facebook, the longest post I could possibly post explaining who I am and what my truth is. As a transgender woman.

12:43 And I was just flooded with very supportive comments, and I was just so happy and cried tears of joy. Again, I had explained to everybody. I was going to show up to school on Monday, September 8th, 2014 and more. Feminine clothing using she/her pronouns with the same name, Logan, Alco Siva. Just so I was clear for everybody, this is what's gonna happen. And so I showed up on Monday, And luckily, I had pretty good relationship with my teachers. So I literally stood up in front of every single class period that day. And was like, hey, we going, if you didn't see my post, this is who I am.

13:26 These are my pronouns and this is how I identify, please respect that. That's all I'm going to ask. For the most part, many people in my life were very supportive but I did have a few negative reactions, especially that day and throughout my time in high school And that was pretty hard, but it did show me a few things about perseverance and the power of knowledge, right? I just want to throw as much. Love your parents way that I possibly can, because they have been able to demonstrate unconditional love so beautifully. I'm like, literally, I need to grab some tissue right now because it's just overwhelming, how even for those who don't go through such a traumatic change or an Their parents are met with a lot of resistance, a lot of negativity, and a lot of push back, you know, even if it's our career choice, or what college to go to or things like that.

14:21 But let alone, the fact that your parents, the first thing that they would say to you, is, we love you. And that's truly what this is about. It is all about love. If we act from a place of love, as parents, I being a parent myself, know that being a parent is not about controlling your Oh, children, it is about giving birth to them and setting them free and letting them make their own choices and loving them no matter what. It's wonderful. I feel so happy for you that you did have number one, the support at home. The majority of support from external family members, as well as your community. It is a very big learning process for a lot of people. And to the fact that people are willing to take those steps, to educate themselves, to be as kind and considerate. Literate as possible for what you are going through in the way that you are transitioning and figuring it out yourself to high schools hard enough.

15:22 Their freshman year, oh my goodness, I can't even, I can't even look at you, you're just like flooring me right now and you know thank goodness also with the state of California being as Progressive as it is because you know a lot of other states don't have these kinds of laws in place and And are not as kind to the lgbtq community, you know? They say timing is everything. Perhaps there were some circumstances like that, that we're in your favor but all for a reason, all for the fact that you were meant to be who you are. And there's no question in my mind. As to that effect, November 5th, 2015, you officially changed her name to Logan.

16:06 Verity Faith. Elko seba and your gender was officially changed to females. Girlfriend. True faith is officially your middle name. Yes, I gotta be true and you gotta have faith that it's all going to work out and then so tell me right after that because you talked about the hormone replacement therapy and then you started going through further surgeries to medically transition. Can you tell me about that Journey? Yeah, of course. So as I mentioned before I started the hormone blockers, pretty much immediately after I came out to my parents and then a few months later near the start of school was when I started hormone, Replacements with the estrogen, I started to finally see my body change in a direction that I wanted it to change and that felt so freeing because before then it was so difficult to do daily tasks, like dressing myself, going to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, those things were all personal challenges because it made me.

17:11 Come to terms with what my body was. And I didn't feel any kind of euphoria in that until I started to medically transition because that was a personal decision that I was able to access with the hormone replacement therapy. And finally, having my body change in a direction that it was after a year of doing that. That's typically when someone who is trans has eligible for surgery. But because I was still a minor. I wasn't eligible. I knew I I wanted the surgery, I knew I needed the surgery and my parents were on my side, they were supportive of it. So we kept petitioning, we had Kaiser Permanente as our healthcare provider. And so, we kept petitioning over and over again. And the answer was most often.

17:56 No, because you are a minor that didn't stop us all the red tape. We just kept hearing that up and trying to push forward until finally. I was able to get a consultation with a lot of Health Care Professionals, like surgeons, Nurses, social workers psychologists and psychiatrists. I had like an hour meeting with each one of them and so it was like a good six hours of me, just being interviewed at 16 years old, by all of these Healthcare professionals and trying to explain. Yes, I am mature enough to understand the consequences of this surgery and I know that this is a necessity for me personally.

18:37 And that's why I am going after it after this meeting that we had with. They finally understood my point of view and understood that I needed the surgery. And so, I was approved as Kaiser permanente's first minor to have gender affirmation surgery. Wow, is there a road map that you share with others who may be minors and going through the same process with their own healthcare providers? In terms of language that you may have used or anything that you had done as far as steps to make sure that you were approved because I'm sure that there are plenty of other individuals that may still be getting. Denied. Is that something that you've considered or that you do for me? I knew that actions spoke louder than words and so I try to incorporate that into how I was living my life as a transgender woman.

19:25 It was still pretty dated back then on who should have the surgery especially as a minor because the point of view was minor should not have the surgery and I knew that I understood that and I knew I personally had to be picture perfect. In order for them to approve it, this wasn't the only reason, but part of the reason why I became so active with all of my extracurricular activities in school and with community outreach, was because I knew it kind of had to be on that resume for that eventual meeting. So I very much embraced my identity as well as a transgender woman. I no longer wanted to be in that prison of feeling insecure or feeling powerless in who I am.

20:10 That's also why I became so active was because I knew that it was needed. The visibility was very much needed for the trans Community for me to participate in leadership, and sports and clubs, and to Excel and my academics and to be a part of volunteering and Community activism. So I think all of those activities that I was a part of benefited that meeting that I had with the healthcare professionals and showing them that yes, I'm out and proud as a transgender The woman and I have Incorporated my identity and too many aspects of my life. This isn't a face, this is who I am and I need the surgery because it will help me mentally and physically feel euphoric and who I am. And I think that's what helped move forward in that surgical process, though.

21:03 Personally, I wish all of that wasn't necessary. I wish in the Health Care community that I could, just at that time. To my health care providers and say, this is who I am. This is the healthcare that I need. Can you please help me access that? And I would hope that their response would be. Yes, of course, we are Healthcare professionals. Our job is to care for you and we're here to help. Unfortunately, it wasn't like that at a time, though. I know things have changed, things are changing. And I know one day we will get to that point where we will be cared for in our house. 'The care system, no matter who we are amazing.

21:45 So then I know that you went on to help educate your school about the transgender experience. Because even though you were mostly supported during your transition, you were still as you mentioned met with some conflict. And of course you know, so many others are also facing. A lot of social bias. Can you share? The cliff note version of your transgender presentation with us. Yes, of course. Of course. So the backstory of the presentation That from the negative experiences that I had at school and out of school, having books knocked out of my hands being pushed against the lockers being harassed and bathrooms and locker rooms. The negative experiences. I had in sports and just see microaggressions. I experience wherever I was that showed me that a lot of people didn't understand the transgender community. And even the people who did support me, they admitted that they didn't quite understand that they didn't know much. And so, I knew something was needed. So I figured, hey, I do these presentations for class assignments.

22:47 Might as well extend that to something that can bring Beauty into my community. So I organized with a few teachers to find a space to do it and organizing with the few teachers and them agreeing to bring their classes to this again, I created a slideshow presentation that laid out some basic terminology, like transgender Are cisgender. What gender is what sexuality is and some common experiences of the trans Community about the issues that we face and how we can overcome them with allyship, just overall giving students and staff terminology experiences and resources on how to better help the trans community and know, about the trans Community.

23:33 That's what the presentation was about. The first one occurred in 2015, still my sophomore year. And luckily, we had Great turnout, and great reactions to it. A lot of people became more supportive of the trans community and wanted to learn more and did their own research. And a lot of people felt more comfortable being themselves, whether they were trans or queer gay or lesbian or bisexual pansexual asexual, no matter what label or No Label, they felt more comfortable expressing themselves and being who they are. And from that me and a few of my friends, saw an uni. To create a queer Student Union on campus.

24:14 And so we created that club to provide a safe, and brave space for students to express themselves and to learn about the community and become part of the community. Now, was the club open to those in the community as well as allies? Yes, of course, of course, because I had plenty of friends who, you know, identified as this straight, but they wanted to do their part as well. And so this club that We had created was very much open to all who wanted to offer their support, and wanted to be a part of the community. Whether as a member of War as an ally, amazing, that is so fantastic. I had read a statistic that a lot of lgbtq students find themselves victims of exclusion and harassment, especially transgender, and gender non-conforming youth.

25:04 I think that the statistic was 75% of them feel unsafe at school, and even if they do persevere the bull, They faced as hostility from teachers and faculty members. I think that about 60% of trans students report being denied access to restrooms that are consistent with their gender identity. So I can imagine that this kind of education, not only for your peer group, but for faculty members, as well. Hopefully is going to make an impact and reduce those numbers. Yeah, we definitely saw that shift within our own local community because of the Station and the club really doing that groundwork, bringing the visibility of the T in LGBT and it kind of opened a lot of minds and a lot of parts to the trans community and how people can just do their part or just be respectful and, you know, provide the bare minimum. So it was a great transformation to witness personally that's lovely.

26:06 And then you went on to college but you also had some assistance from the point. I believe it's called right. Yes. Yes, the point mutation. Wait. Foundation is the nation's largest lgbtq scholarship fund. They provide mentorship and a lot of resources for students to access and explore. It's just a great organization. Overall, to help students make their way through college with financial support and community support. And that's what they provided me was not only the money to go to college. College. But also the best people for me to rely on to actually graduate from college.

26:48 How excellent I love that. There are organizations like point. And I will put a link to point foundation in the podcast notes. Everybody can take a look at that organization as well. Now, what do you think is a healthy way to inspire more acceptance of marginalized people? Like the trans Community? Among those who are still on the fence about it. I think it's simply And to remember that we are just as human as you. We are funny. We are weird. We are unique and Universal just like anyone else to just simply respect us, respect our names are pronouns. Just who we are.

27:28 You don't have to know every statistic or every detail or historical moment about the trans community. So I encourage you to learn but to just treat us as any other human being With respect just, you know, try and do your part when it comes to learning about the community and helping the community really understand intersectionality as well. You know, we're not just a one-dimensional monolithic group of people. There are going to be connections between sis people and trans people through other communities, all of humankind is tied together somehow. So I think it's just important that we treat each other with that kindness. Absolutely.

28:11 The absolutely now Logan you are now a model talk about talk about getting to a place where you are met with much more acceptance that I don't know if you've ever dreamt of or could have imagined possible. But what was it like to all of a sudden step into that role? It was a wild ride. I was going to college and I was actually scouted while I was going to San Francisco State University by Cass. Partner based in La, they just invited me to go to this Hue and I was like, okay yeah, why not and they said it turned out well and so they helped me get signed with me.

28:52 Speak models based in New York, who later helped me get signed to Natural models based in Los Angeles, and body London based in London. And having all of these opportunities, I was stepping into them understanding that. I was also making an impact for the trans Community when it came to visibility and representation. And I carried that with me in every shoot that I did. And the funny thing was how this seemed impossible to me growing up because every time I looked in the mirror as a child, as a teenager, I hated hated how I how I looked, and who I was and I felt so imprisoned by society that it was hard for me to imagine a future. Teacher for myself where I was happy and that I could be me. I just touched my heart to know that. Not only did I have this job that I could dream of, but to have this job, that I was making a positive impact on the world and finally, who I am finally, someone who is happy with their life.

30:04 The overall dream was achieved was very special and I love that. You mentioned a beautifully that you make the point. It's not Just about being a pretty face in a female body, you are really representing a whole entire community and you bring that with you and make sure that you're advocating for the trans community and doing interviews. Just like this to make sure that the story gets hurt and that Express so that more and more people are met with the acceptance that they deserve when they want to be their true authentic selves. Yes. And to me, it just shows the power of being true to you and Certainly I know that there was that period of time where you had to feel ready.

30:46 There has to be this time where you feel, okay. It might not be the perfect way to come out, but even though I'm frightened out of my wits to do this, I'm going to do this because if I don't want to see alternative, what would you say to those that are going through the same Journey? That might not feel ready yet? I would say it's okay. If you don't feel ready, everyone's journey is their own this Your life. So do what you want to do, do what you need to do, there's no rush, there's no pressure. Just find ways that you can care for yourself and be who you are in your own way. So there's no specific way to be you. That is all up to you.

31:30 And if you do feel like sharing your truth with other people, is part of your journey. I encourage you to do that. However, if ever whenever you want to really Prioritize your safety and prioritize preserving that self love that you have for yourself. Yeah. Okay. So now onto some lighter stuff. What do you love to do in your spare time? Tell us about all your guilty pleasures. Oh gosh. I love to do a lot of things growing up in California. I loved going to the Redwoods and to the beach. Those are always the best days going out with friends and family to enjoy the sun.

32:10 I also love To go to concerts and just enjoy music. Something else that I love to do is genealogy where I research family trees and that's actually something I've been doing since I was 10 years old. So a pretty long time now, but I dislike research, my family tree and my friends, family trees, and it's a bit meticulous sometimes, but it's really fun. Now, your background is Hawaiian and Filipino. Is that correct? Yeah, so from my father's side, I am a lion and Filipino and from my mother's side, I am Irish English and German. Oh my goodness. What a wonderful where those came from? Yeah, I got the tan skin in the freckles, going on. So yeah, very much a blended between my parents.

32:55 Well, look in. It was an absolute pleasure to speak to you today. Logan's links are in the caption below, so please be sure to check her out everywhere. She is on social media. I hope you have an amazing pride month. Thank you so much everyone for listening and again, Love yourself, love other people and happy pride month. Love Is Love, Is Love. Love Is Love Is Love.