Episode 57: Steve Bacon - Change Your Beliefs and Change Your Life

0:07 Hello, beautiful humans. Welcome to the human Beauty movement podcast. I'm your host Jennifer Norman. Throughout my life, I've been a lover and a seeker of all things beauty from art and dance to cosmetics, and fashion to music and nature. But through my own personal Journey. I've come to discover what I believe is the most beautiful thing. In the universe, the beauty of the human soul, on this podcast, I sit down with beautiful humans from all corners. Of the globe and all walks of life to learn how they are living their own unique, Soul Beauties out loud. You'll hear from game changers. Rebels with great causes stages odds, feeders and Valiant Warriors who fall down seven times and get up eight. This is the podcast where abundant energy flows and supreme wisdom is bestowed.

0:59 Get ready to enjoy the inspiration. Hello, beautiful humans. I'm Jennifer Norman founder of the human Beauty movement. And your host. So today, let's talk about what it takes to really heal. Not cope heal. My guest today is Steve bacon early in his life. He found himself on a path of self-destruction but after a profound Reckoning, he began a meaningful journey toward healing today. Steve is a master life. Coach trainer speaker author of start here. Seven steps to living your best life. He founded belief Theory a program that works to break the stigma. Of mental health, in communities of color, in order to create thriving, families, and compassionate leaders, through his work. With belief Theory people, transform their self-image, discover their true purpose, and learn to build healthy lasting relationships.

1:52 Welcome Steve. Thank you so much for having me. It is a pleasure to host you today. So I would love for you to start from the beginning because apparently, there was a lot of Chaos in your early years. Yeah, I'll give you the Reader's Digest version. Because if I try to give you the full Then it would be a miniseries. So I was born in 1984, in the Bay Area about six months. After I was born, my mother became addicted to crack and I went a bounced around from crack house to crack house as a kid. And so you know I always make the joke that I think everybody lived in crack houses because that's what I was used to like for the first few years of my life. Right? And you know there were times where my mother and her addiction would you know we'd go to a random strangers house and she would go in the bathroom and then go out the window and be gone for two or three days, right?

2:35 So she didn't have to take me with her and I love my mother and God, Rest her soul. You know, we had a beautiful relationship before she passed, but that caused a lot of trauma as a kid, I was also molested as a kid, I went to 14 different schools growing up, so I was pretty much the new kid every year, eight years old. I went to live with my father, didn't know that this man was showing up at my grandmother's house to take me. He just kind of popped up one day. And after my mother had dropped me off, and he was like, well, you're coming to live with me and I'm like, who the fuck is you right in our community? And I don't know what it's like in your community, but in the black There's this, you know, unspoken rule that children are to be seen and not heard and I don't need to explain myself to a child right? And unfortunately because of that, because we don't understand how the human mind works and how it develops, if you don't explain to a child, what something means they'll come up with their own meaning and it's not going to be a good one.

3:26 And so that created like really serious, abandonment issues growing up. And I was very angry at my mother, not to mention my father and I had a very abusive contentious relationship and so 17 I went to the military, a married. The first girl who said she loved me. And then physically, mentally, and emotionally abused her, until she got the courage to leave. And I'm not proud of what happened. I know why I did it now so I don't feel any guilt or shame, right? Because I forgive myself for who I was back then, but that created a very hostile environment. You know, that caused her to leave. And when she left, I took a load of gun. Put in my mouth and pull the trigger out of depression. The only thing that saved me was God because gun misfire or just didn't go off. I still can't remember what happened but I realized that In that moment, I didn't want to die. I just didn't know how to live but I still didn't know what to do with all his pain.

4:11 So I just started drinking drinking to get drunk then found myself on the wrong side of the law and then a felon at 19 years old, right kind of ruined my military career at that point. So I married the second girl who says she loved me and kind of repeated the process. And so all of this before, my 20th birthday, right? I'm married twice divorced. Ones on my way to the second divorced. Attempted suicide, alcohol, issue, anger, management, felon traumatized as a kid. Had molested as a kid like it was all before my 20th birthday. So statistically I should either be dead in jail or strung out on some type of drug but the intersection was this gentleman named Hank who I met when I was around 19, 20 years old, who long story short introduced me to personal development and said that if you just change how you see yourself then your life doesn't have to go to where you think it's about to go. You can create a whole new story and that sparked a now what 18 now almost 19 year journey of personal development and And combing through me to see, can I really heal from this stuff? Or do I have to just cope with it? The way these therapists say that I need to just learn to cope and deal with it and move on? Can I actually erase it and get rid of it? So it just doesn't exist anymore in my life and that became my Magnificent Obsession.

5:25 And today, I'm one of the most emotionally healthy people you ever meet my mother and I had an amazing relationship before she passed my father and I have an absolute amazing relationship. I'm married to my best friend who have never laid a hand on me. Size bedroom. If you know to me I built a global coaching business and have people that reach out to me from all parts of the world places. I've never even been to. We are approaching a half million dollars in income just through coaching. And I wrote a book, my life is incredible and I'm able to help people heal. An hour's. What will take them years if ever in therapy? Wow, well, Steve, thank you for being so open and sharing your story. I know that that's part of the healing and the it speaks volumes to the fact that you are not.

6:07 Ties every time you retell that story which I know is part of your history and is part of the reason why you are who you are today, because you did hit rock bottom. I mean, putting a gun in your mouth, is pretty much, the definition of rock bottom, and the concept of being able to come back stronger from something like that. It's not a story that everybody can tell. And so I would love for you if you don't mind because I think a lot of people who are going through it right now and a lot of people are going through it, you know, they don't know what to do. They don't Don't know how to lift themselves up from that place of desperation and a feeling that there is no hope. So what was it, what was that? Profound Reckoning that you had that really caused you to hear what this gentleman Hank had to say and not think.

6:52 Oh, that's not really something that I can even relate to right now. Like, what what do you think? Okay, so Jennifer, I'm Gonna Keep it all the way real, yeah, right. It wasn't even the suicide attempt. Yeah, it was the thought living like a felon, okay. Working at fast. Joint doing construction or some time. I was too pretty for that. I don't do manual labor. Hey, I don't do man. You even to this day. I don't do manual labor. Okay, I'm just too dainty for that. So the thought making minimum wage for the rest of my life or being on welfare. This was all the stuff I was trying to get away from because that is what my entire childhood consisted of. So, I didn't want that life. So when he said, well, you can become an entrepreneur and you write your own ticket, but that depends on how much you grow as a man.

7:37 Man, and then he started taking me to Connor. He convinced my probation officer at the time, to let me go to a conference with him. And I go to a conference and there's people on stage telling these Rags to Riches stories and some of them who stories or worse than mine. So, I was like, oh, okay, I got to see the blueprint or I see the possibility and so they were like the more you heal the better, you become the more your business grows. That was all I needed to know. Yeah. And I think that to the point of the fact that you were exposed to this conference filled with people that you could See as your own Role Models because there was this relatability and it's not like anybody is comparing traumas or crises, but you can see that it's possible. And once you can visually see, and really believe in your heart of hearts, that it's possible because you see the evidence right in front of you?

8:24 Then the path becomes clearer, doesn't it? Absolutely, absolutely. So that was it it was just the possibility of what I could create so that led me to network marketing. And that's where most of the person development came from because, you know, they Push personal development. And yeah, that was the turning point for me. Yeah. And it could have been very easy for the rest of your life. To blame your situation to blame, how it started to blame your parenting to blame the culture, you know, the community that you were in, but you're the same person going through all of that. And with that work that you had done to shift your mindset and to choose to not have that life anymore. You are able to construct of your own accord the way forward. And what success was going to look like for you? Yeah, trust me.

9:10 I blamed and I used it as motivation until, you know, I got around the right coaching and deep transformation of work and realize that I was creating my own reality, right? I was still responsible for my Creations. Even though I was unaware that I was creating, I was still responsible. It's like being an accessory to murder and not knowing you were an accessory, but that doesn't absolve you from being accessory just because you didn't know you were an accessory. If that makes sense I was creating my reality but wasn't aware of how I was Dating my reality. But that doesn't absolve me from the fact that I was creating it, but that responsibility is what I decided to take on. Yes, and I think that to that end that is really the starting point is taking responsibility, it's almost like when an alcoholic says, yes, I'm an alcoholic and is able to admit it.

9:54 Sometimes it's even hard to say, well, this is my fault or and there's no Faults per se but I am responsible might be a better way of putting it just as you had me at responsible for choosing or accepting to live. Sway versus I'm responsible for making a choice to make a change and live a different way. You don't have to be stuck in those old Master. Well, that's the biggest challenge. I find with people wouldn't comes to healing and I tell folks this straight out the gate. The only thing that will prevent you from healing, not coping healing because you talked about me being able to share my story so easily. Well that's because I have no emotional connection to it. It's a story that feels like they happened to somebody else. So I have zero emotional connection to it which is why I can tell it the way I do.

10:35 But the way I was able to Get to that is where most people get stuck, which is being willing to be wrong. Not wrong about what happened to you but wrong about what you made it mean, and why you think these things happened? That's where people get stuck. The meanings. They create meanings are kind of like seasoning on chicken, okay? Never had just boil. Plain nasty chicken. It's nasty, right? Just plain chicken. So what makes the chicken amazing is the seasoning, right, and depending on the combination of seasonings you put on it, it could be really good or Really bad, right? Life is the same way. Life events is like playing chicken neutral. The meaning you put on it is like the seasoning. It determines your quality of life going forward, right? And so now, I know that you do a lot of work with communities within people of color, and disadvantaged individuals institutions, and, and whatnot.

11:26 And so, what is the meaning that you see most of them putting on their life? I'll call it pre Steve bacon and then the meaning, for which they come to us, A seasoning, which is succulent post. Steve bacon, last name aside, right? Well, everything tastes better with bacon on it and untrue. Let me see, I mean, of course I'm not good enough is common, I'm not worthy is common. These are common phrases that people use because they've heard it. So many different times from other people, right? But okay, let me explain it to you this way. I call it the thesis, see when every child between Ages of zero in about six are completely unconscious, right? They have no idea.

12:11 They're even alive. Okay, one day conscious awareness kicks in that's like waking up out of a coma with amnesia. You have no idea where or who you are. This is this little kid going, right? You just looking at yourself and you have no idea who you are and it's an innate question that we're all born with. When my wife got her Master's in psychology, she had to write a thesis which is basically pick a problem posed, a question to a bunch of research. The thesis is your conclusion? And all of your research inside sources for every child does the same thing their interactions with their parents, in their environment, their TV, their religion, all of that, begins to give them information about who they are. So they go, your black, this is what this means about. You, you're a black man. This is what this means about you. This is where you grew up. This is what this means about you. And then you couple that with the interactions between the parents, because the child judges, the parent based on the action, not the intention because they're too young to understand the intention all of that, informs them and then they make a decision about themselves. This is who I am.

13:06 This is what I deserve. And they find a little Groove that they stay in for most of their life until it's interrupted. So I'd like to go back to the thesis with people, what was the decision that the kid made because your life will make complete and total sense after that, you'll see why you keep running through different doors and coming out of the same exit because you cannot and will not outperform your self-image. So it's very the reason why I'm answering it that way because the meaning varies depending on the situation. And so people give you a lot of generals. But when you get down to the specifics, Look, the child could be like, Oh, I'm stupid and I'll never get it right. That was the decision that a child made that what I call Mama believe, produced all the other limiting beliefs. So we go back to that decision and go. Okay.

13:49 What is everything that happened up? Until that decision that you remember between Mom and Dad, because that child is misinterpreting those situations, which is why they arrived at that conclusion. So, posting bacon, that decision is gone and a new decision has been made it completely shifts their self-image and so what You think it is about traditional therapy that you know people can be in therapy for years and years and years. And then it's like I just, you know, had myself a tasty of bacon and you know, within hours. I was able to get what it might have taken years in therapy to get like, what do you think it is about traditional therapy versus what your type of healing process or start some shit?

14:32 Now, you turn stars and that's what we're all about. All about juicy Congress. Oh, I have no problem, trust me, zero problem, zero problem giving the smoke so couple of things. Number one, I don't fully knock therapy because some people really do need just therapy. They're not ready to take full accountability for their lives. So therapy serves in that space to keep them afloat. Right? How do you mean, how does it keep people afloat? I mean, I got a couple times and I for me, I just said, it wasn't worth while keeping into it. So I actually absolved myself from it and decided to Kill myself so, but I can't because you're looking for something more aggressive. Like, hey, can we just get to it right? When coping is, like, having a trash can full of shit? Sit in your living room.

15:17 Learn how to deal with the smell. It's just sitting there. Stinking up the joint. But you so used to it, right? That it's not until other people walk in and goes it stinks in here, right? And so you num yourself, you try to Berkeley, you got to deal with it. Healing is jumping in that trash can butt-naked cleaning it up. A out with bleach and Pine-Sol and everything else and then pushing it outside that takes more work, courage and commitment. But when you're done you're done a lot of times therapist. And this is I don't care who gets offended by this because I'm calling you out. If you get offended I'm talking to you, a lot of therapists are wounded, healers trying to heal themselves through other people instead of doing their own work.

16:00 The difference is lived experience because with lived experience I'm not going to buy your victim stories. I'm not going to say Always you. So why are you sitting there going? Oh, I just feel hurt and they're like, tell me why do you feel hurt? And when your dad did that how did that make you feel? Why are you validating this victimhood? That's my question. Being the victim is the opposite side of a situation. You got your perpetrator, you got your victim, you got your plaintiff, you got your defendant, a victim is not an identity. So the challenge that I have with therapy is that it rewards the victim identity by continuing to perpetrate it by just, I'm plea not calling people out on it but a lot of times these therapists, they only know what they learned in school which is how to diagnose and treat.

16:45 So they're talking about what's wrong with you, not what's right with you. So it's therapies. Not about healing therapy is about mechanisms to keep you moving. It's not about healing. I almost think of it as a microcosm for, you know, what's going on in society to because granted, there are a lot of people who were wounded, there are a lot of people and it doesn't matter what race. What age were created, what background? Or whatnot, we see what's going on in Iran. There are a lot of people hurting and so people are looking for someone to blame or something to Blaine to try to alleviate the pain and the suffering. Then the question becomes at. What point does that person become self-reliant and responsible for lifting themselves up and bettering their own lives rather than saying, you know, reparations.

17:30 This is what, you know, I should be getting because of the wrongs that have been done to my ancestors or the, you know, Oh, the things that have happened in the past that I still and finding internalised in My DNA because that's just how it has been, you know, brought on from generation to generation. What do you say to that? As far as just, you know, thinking about large swaths of the population that are really struggling? Like what do you think that they can do in order to believe that they need to take responsibility? I think that, that's step number one. Yeah. Well, yes, And to get there, there has to be some education. Let me explain what I mean. Yeah, imagine being born with one car and you had to keep that car your whole life.

18:15 You can never traded in, you could never sell it. Now, imagine never being given the owners manual to that car. And you were told not to trust mechanics. This is what communities of color are dealing with. They have one mind that mind is a supercomputer, it can create whatever they desire. They are God with a small G. We all are. However, they were never given the owners manual to how their mind works. So what do You do. When the car starts to break down, it's not performing at the level. You want to perform? Well, you find a way to patch it together and keep it moving, but it will never perform at the level. It was capable of, people have to learn how their mind works and that's the work that we're doing with communities of color. We're taking the human belief system and breaking it down into a way where people with, whether they have no degree a GED or PhD, can understand right.

19:03 It's interesting because I have clients who have phds in Psychology and can't explain to me. Human belief system works yet that is what's responsible for all human behavior? So isn't it interesting that that is not being taught in school at that level to really show you how your mind operates. Why isn't that not being taught in school? Well, because why would I teach you the thing that I manipulate you with? Yeah. Right that there's almost like, this misery loves company mentality to, with respect to victimhood and so it's like oh you know, if we can all just be miserable together or if we can, all just feel like we're being other Whether it doesn't that make us feel better, isn't that a sense of community? Yes, help me. But that's the effect. The cause is, you have no idea how powerful you are because no one's ever taught you.

19:48 How to work the thing in between your ears, you've learned the memorization game, you've learned how to plug into the Matrix and perform in The Matrix but you've never learned how to actually create your life intentionally. So it's unconscious creation versus Conscious Creation. If I can show you how you're creating your reality without Alter blame without putting you down without making you feel guilty or shameful. If I can show you how you're creating your reality step by step then it's easier for you to take responsibility because you're like okay great. I see how I created that. Now, I'm going to take responsibility and go create this, but a couple of things have to happen. One people have to be willing to admit, you know, being wrong about certain things and they have to be willing to let some things go, right?

20:30 But what we're talking about is the effect of people not understanding how they work, so they just passed down, try Mama and call it protection. And in some of these people are out here teaching trauma and calling it personal development, right, where it's just passing down. Trauma in the United States. We still live in 1956 in the United States because the people who are raising the children, are the grandparents, a lot of times because the parents are out working. So we're still carrying the value system from 1956 and we're not allowing people to see what's possible now. So, I'm going to share something that I've been sharing recently. I discovered the difference between Systemic racism and white privilege. I am a black man with white privilege but I don't forget, I'm black. Here's what that means.

21:13 Systemic racism, its physical, it's the laws, it's the policies. It's the Customs, it's the red lining, it's the profiling, it's physical things set in place to keep people of color, from performing or advancing, right? You can't wear that hair here, that type of stuff that's systemic racism. White Privilege is a mentality that I could be doing have whatever I please. And I don't need anyone's permission or forgiveness, the world was built. For them like that, and the last 600 years where they can dream as big as they want to dream and do whatever they want to do. However, people of color have not had that over the last few centuries simply because, well, we couldn't aspire to be president 1946. You couldn't write there were certain things that you were cut off from simply because of systemic racism and profiling, right? You also had to ask for permission or forgiveness back in the day to make sure you didn't piss off, the white folks so that you don't lose your job.

22:04 You don't lose your life, you don't lose your house, you don't lose your business. This was barely 60 years ago, so if you got the older generation, who grew up with that limitation already put on them, and they're teaching the children. Oh, that's not for us, that's for them. That type of thing. Then we don't have the I could be doing have whatever. I please, no need anyone's permission of forgiveness mentality. However, throughout history, there has been examples like Madam c.j. Walker, who became a millionaire when women had no rights and neither did black people. But she said, I could be doing hair whatever I please and I DNA you ask permission or forgiveness and became a millionaire. So what I'm saying is there has been instances throughout history were people of color have that mentality, Frederick Douglass.

22:46 I'm all those people. So my point is, is today people of color of all backgrounds can be doing, have whatever they please. And they don't need anyone's permission to forgiveness. Yeah, those days are over. I remember seeing an interview with Morgan Freeman and it was probably around the time of George Floyd, but I remember seeing this interview, where he said, I've never experienced, Is am in my life and people were astonished and upset because it seems like he was discounting the fact that there is racism, but he was pretty much saying what his mindset was that he did not let his color his skin tone limit, his abilities to succeed in life. And that's I believe what the message was, which was taken very much in very different ways, but I think it gets that what you're saying?

23:31 I have experienced racism so I don't know what the hell he was talking about. I have experienced racism, right? Especially I'm spending half my childhood in the South. Yeah. What he was trying to say was just poorly articulated in my opinion, right? Because you have to be responsible for the listening or speaking into self-image is not what I think of me. It's not what you think of me, is what I think you think of me. So I'm going to filter everything you say through what I think, you think of me. So I can take that a million different ways, but however, I need to personalize it to validate my own experience, so that was just really poorly articulated, I get where he was coming from but you did. Kind of just invalidate where a lot of people have experienced that was their experience and you just completely invalidated them.

24:14 I get that, that's your mindset. That's phenomenal, that's what keeps you moving. So you think that that is a different way of articulating, or maybe not necessarily a great way of articulating. The fact that you say that you also have this white privilege where you live with the mindset of white privilege, I live with the only reason why we call it white privilege because it's that triggers people, right? So the reason why I try to break it down Because we only reason why we're calling it white privilege in the first place is because that's the group that has been able to freely Express this mentality throughout the centuries. If that makes sense, right? It's just being god with a small G, is what it is, right? So when I recognize, who I am that through, my perception will reason intuition imagination memory, the six mental faculties, that are the characteristics of God. Having those mental faculties allows me to create whatever. Reality I desire to create without anyone's permission or forgiveness.

25:11 So operating from a sense that I am God with a small G. I operate from that mentality, your level of Consciousness and racism and all that. I understand that you don't even know why you believe what you believe. So I just ignore it. If you're stuck on the level of physicality, then that tells me that you are at the lowest level of Consciousness. That's like being mad at a kid, they could be 58 but on the level of Consciousness that's a child. So I just completely ignore it but I don't forget them. Black. See if I get pulled over by the cops, I'm not going to go off. I know how you see me. So, yes, what I mean is I have white privilege in the sense of I can create whatever the I desire to create. I didn't need anybody's permission to build what I've built right. But I also understand systemic racism as well.

25:53 So that's why I said there's a difference between the two so I can move and create as a god with a small G, but I'm also very cautious of the environments that I'm in because of systemic racism. Does that make sense? It's a absolutely does. Thank you for clarifying that because my feeling, is that as much of a blessing as individuals, like Shaun, King are and bringing to attention to social media, attention of the atrocities and things about racism, that really need to be corrected. I wonder if a lot of people get bathed in those experiences, and in that news cycle, and then just believe the world to be that, they believe that there is nothing good when it comes to police officers there at or white police officers for that matter. ER, and there's only racism and that, you know, things are just it paints a very Bleak picture ever being able to have a chance of being killed when you keep re wounding and keep re showing these sorts of things.

26:49 And so I was curious about your take on that and what you would say would be A Better Way Forward potentially in order to help move Society towards better healing. Well, this is what I mean by having an aunt learning understanding human belief system, because then you'll know how you're being manipulated is Three steps. So I love to study cult leaders and stuff like that. Because I always wonder how do you get grown people to do these atrocities? These are not dumb people. A lot of doctors lawyers Architects. I didn't get these really smart people to do dumb. Shit, how does that happen? Right? So when you understand human belief system, there's three steps to installing a belief in someone won, the respect that Source. If it's a respected source that you respect, they have a certain level of authority which means they have emotional weight to whatever.

27:36 Ever. It is they say to you, right? To is the conviction. Well, how much do they believe what they're saying? And three, the spaced repetition over and over and over again. That's three steps to installing a belief. In any person, write the word conditioning, literally means the process of training and animal or human on how to behave. So the media is constantly conditioning. Everyone to see life through a certain lens. So when they're respected sources, only keep showing this image over and over because I noticed that CNN. One time. I was like, sure. They just cover one murder, right? Of a shooting, got it. But the soon as that one was update, there's another one. So now that's all that's on there, but that's the lens right, that you'll see the world through and you'll go, you know, what, not even worth.

28:20 Trying look, see, it's not even worth trying. So because we don't understand how the human belief system works. And when we're fed images, how our brain processes that how we take that, and put it with all the other memories, and everything has been told to produce a low level frequency or a low level of living, Living when we don't understand that process. Then yeah, we get manipulated over and over again, which is why I again I built a company and a curriculum whose entire mission is to teach the human belief system to parents of color so that you can see how we are. Passing down a trauma, how you can understand it, because then when you understand it, you can spot it and go, no, no, you don't need to drug tame and cage a bunny rabbit, but you will drug cage and tame a lion and hope it never figures itself out. I'd Mobile world were black brown, yellow people all over the world operate from a space that I could be doing have whatever I please.

29:13 And I don't need anyone's permission or forgiveness and that would be a beautiful world to live in for everyone. Absolutely. This topic I'm very passionate about because I understood having to go from negative 10 suicide all the way to where I am now I know everything that had to happen in between and understanding how my mind works. Was number one, that was the number one that allowed me to take responsibility but if I don't know how I'm doing. Doing it. Then how do I take responsibility? Because I'm just thinking about falter blame. He who controls the past, controls the present, and he who controls the present, controls the future. That's why we keep getting shown images of the past to indoctrinate people into a certain way of being which is why it doesn't matter how far we move and years. It seems like Society doesn't really Advanced much so in order for people to become self-aware, are there any particular steps that you walk them through or that you suggest just to kind of get started?

30:06 Did you say like okay? Oh yeah one of them is I have them do a thought it I have my clients literally write every thought that comes to their mind over a period of time that causes fear and contraction. There's only two schools of thought, love and fear. The thought either comes from love or comes from Fear with intentions are either doing things out of love or you're doing things because of fear, right? And human beings. What they're doing is either an expression of Love or cry for help and healing but that's a whole another conversation, right? So one Things that I have them do is pay attention to everything. They think write it down, I make them it's tedious, but I want them to see. Look at your who you're being produces, the thoughts that create your reality.

30:48 But what you believe produces, who you're being that, produces the thoughts that create your reality. So that's the one of the first things that I have them. Do the second thing I have them do is be aware of who they have been showing up as so. I have the right out what's everything. He wants over the next three years and they write out and then we do a little experiment, you know where Do a little time travel and it's three years from now and now we're having a conversation of what, you know, the last three years have been like. But once they're fully excited about that, I say great. Who are you being? As this version of you, creating all these things who are you being and they'll write a list, the guy had last night, he wrote a list of, like, 80 different words that describe to that version of him was being and I go great. Now, Circle all the ones that you have been being for the last three years and you can produce receipts. He said, none of these.

31:32 I said, oh interesting. So if you haven't been being this then who have you been baby and I made him do that with all 80 words and then I hadn't read that list to me. And it was timid scared, angry manipulative, write all these words. And I said, now does your life make sense? Look at who you've been showing up as you've been creating your own reality, showing up as this, and then playing victim to your own Creations, because you don't know how you created it. So it's that level of awareness where I'm making them go inside themselves, and that starts to absolve that victim mentality because they can, it's really hard to fight that. This is who I've been showing up as cause and effect. Of course, this is the way my life is going to look, it can't look any other way.

32:13 Then I asked him. Okay? If you actually did everything, you said you would do over the last three years. Where would your life be anyway? Oh, I asked this guy. He's and I was in his Uber and I asked him that question because he heard me coaching somebody on the phone and he was telling me about everything he wanted to do and all the stuff that was in his way and you know, the racism this thing that's okay. I said I'd totally respect her model of the world. I said, if you had done everything, you said you would do every plan you ever. Made every goal you ever said if you actually did it and didn't quit in the middle of the process, where would your life be? He said, oh man, I'd be on Tyler Perry status. I said, so do you have a racism problem or do you have a, keeping, your word problem? And he goes, hey man, get the fuck out of my car. I said not, before you drop me off at the airport.

32:53 Yeah, and then he went and booked on my calendar because it rocked him. I said, see you're the villain in the victim of your own story but these people are convincing you that they're the problem and as long as they convince you that they're the problem and you Always be in the passenger seat going 100 miles an hour in the wrong direction. All I'm asking you to do is be aware of who's driving and then simply make the choice of getting in the driver's seat. In spite of all the racism, it's there. But in spite of it you can still create whatever life you desire if you so choose. And so for those of you listening for those of you watching, this is the benefit of having a coach work with you because it's not easy to do this work, on your own, all of those things writing down those words and having somebody Also being on your side, in order to point out, objectively, what's going on, and be able to shine a light. On those things about you that you might not be aware of and be able to recognize of yourself somebody. Like, Steve is going to be able to really help you get unstuck and get to that place in your life that you really deserve to be at.

33:57 And so Steve, how is it that people can find you? Hold Steve banking.com everything that they need about me. Learn about me, my social media. Everything is there a couple of blocks That I've written it's all there. Okay. Steve Fagan. Thank you so much for joining us. We look forward to seeing you and all of your clients be as successful as possible. Thank you so much Jennifer. Thank you for listening to the human Beauty movement podcast. Be sure to follow rate and review us wherever you stream podcasts. The human Beauty movement is a community based platform. That cultivates, the beauty of humankind, check out our workshops, find us on social media and share our inspiration with all the beautiful humans in your life.

34:39 Learn more at the human Beauty. Movement.com, thank you so much for being a beautiful human.