Episode 57: Steve Bacon - Change Your Beliefs and Change Your Life

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Hello, beautiful humans.
Welcome to the human Beauty

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movement podcast.
I'm your host Jennifer Norman.

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Throughout my life, I've been a
lover and a seeker of all things

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beauty from art and dance to
cosmetics, and fashion to music

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and nature.
But through my own personal

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Journey.
I've come to discover what I

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believe is the most beautiful
thing.

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In the universe, the beauty of
the human soul, on this podcast,

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I sit down with beautiful humans
from all corners.

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Of the globe and all walks of
life to learn how they are

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living their own unique, Soul
Beauties out loud.

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You'll hear from game changers.
Rebels with great causes stages

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odds, feeders and Valiant
Warriors who fall down seven

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times and get up eight.
This is the podcast where

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abundant energy flows and
supreme wisdom is bestowed.

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Get ready to enjoy the
inspiration.

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Hello, beautiful humans.
I'm Jennifer Norman founder of

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the human Beauty movement.
And your host.

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So today, let's talk about what
it takes to really heal.

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Not cope heal.
My guest today is Steve bacon

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early in his life.
He found himself on a path of

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self-destruction but after a
profound Reckoning, he began a

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meaningful journey toward
healing today.

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Steve is a master life.
Coach trainer speaker author of

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start here.
Seven steps to living your best

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life.
He founded belief Theory a

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program that works to break the
stigma.

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Of mental health, in communities
of color, in order to create

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thriving, families, and
compassionate leaders, through

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his work.
With belief Theory people,

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transform their self-image,
discover their true purpose, and

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learn to build healthy lasting
relationships.

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Welcome Steve.
Thank you so much for having me.

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It is a pleasure to host you
today.

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So I would love for you to start
from the beginning because

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apparently, there was a lot of
Chaos in your early years.

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Yeah, I'll give you the Reader's
Digest version.

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Because if I try to give you the
full Then it would be a

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miniseries.
So I was born in 1984, in the

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Bay Area about six months.
After I was born, my mother

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became addicted to crack and I
went a bounced around from crack

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house to crack house as a kid.
And so you know I always make

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the joke that I think everybody
lived in crack houses because

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that's what I was used to like
for the first few years of my

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life.
Right?

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And you know there were times
where my mother and her

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addiction would you know we'd go
to a random strangers house and

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she would go in the bathroom and
then go out the window and be

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gone for two or three days,
right?

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So she didn't have to take me
with her and I love my mother

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and God, Rest her soul.
You know, we had a beautiful

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relationship before she passed,
but that caused a lot of trauma

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as a kid, I was also molested as
a kid, I went to 14 different

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schools growing up, so I was
pretty much the new kid every

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year, eight years old.
I went to live with my father,

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didn't know that this man was
showing up at my grandmother's

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house to take me.
He just kind of popped up one

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day.
And after my mother had dropped

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me off, and he was like, well,
you're coming to live with me

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and I'm like, who the fuck is
you right in our community?

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And I don't know what it's like
in your community, but in the

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black There's this, you know,
unspoken rule that children are

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to be seen and not heard and I
don't need to explain myself to

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a child right?
And unfortunately because of

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that, because we don't
understand how the human mind

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works and how it develops, if
you don't explain to a child,

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what something means they'll
come up with their own meaning

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and it's not going to be a good
one.

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And so that created like really
serious, abandonment issues

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growing up.
And I was very angry at my

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mother, not to mention my father
and I had a very abusive

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contentious relationship and so
17 I went to the military, a

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married.
The first girl who said she

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loved me.
And then physically, mentally,

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and emotionally abused her,
until she got the courage to

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leave.
And I'm not proud of what

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happened.
I know why I did it now so I

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don't feel any guilt or shame,
right?

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Because I forgive myself for who
I was back then, but that

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created a very hostile
environment.

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You know, that caused her to
leave.

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And when she left, I took a load
of gun.

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Put in my mouth and pull the
trigger out of depression.

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The only thing that saved me was
God because gun misfire or just

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didn't go off.
I still can't remember what

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happened but I realized that In
that moment, I didn't want to

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die.
I just didn't know how to live

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but I still didn't know what to
do with all his pain.

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So I just started drinking
drinking to get drunk then found

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myself on the wrong side of the
law and then a felon at 19 years

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old, right kind of ruined my
military career at that point.

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So I married the second girl who
says she loved me and kind of

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repeated the process.
And so all of this before, my

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20th birthday, right?
I'm married twice divorced.

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Ones on my way to the second
divorced.

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Attempted suicide, alcohol,
issue, anger, management, felon

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traumatized as a kid.
Had molested as a kid like it

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was all before my 20th birthday.
So statistically I should either

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be dead in jail or strung out on
some type of drug but the

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intersection was this gentleman
named Hank who I met when I was

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around 19, 20 years old, who
long story short introduced me

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to personal development and said
that if you just change how you

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see yourself then your life
doesn't have to go to where you

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think it's about to go.
You can create a whole new story

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and that sparked a now what 18
now almost 19 year journey of

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personal development and And
combing through me to see, can I

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really heal from this stuff?
Or do I have to just cope with

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it?
The way these therapists say

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that I need to just learn to
cope and deal with it and move

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on?
Can I actually erase it and get

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rid of it?
So it just doesn't exist anymore

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in my life and that became my
Magnificent Obsession.

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And today, I'm one of the most
emotionally healthy people you

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ever meet my mother and I had an
amazing relationship before she

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passed my father and I have an
absolute amazing relationship.

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I'm married to my best friend
who have never laid a hand on

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me.
Size bedroom.

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If you know to me I built a
global coaching business and

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have people that reach out to me
from all parts of the world

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places.
I've never even been to.

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We are approaching a half
million dollars in income just

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through coaching.
And I wrote a book, my life is

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incredible and I'm able to help
people heal.

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An hour's.
What will take them years if

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ever in therapy?
Wow, well, Steve, thank you for

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being so open and sharing your
story.

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I know that that's part of the
healing and the it speaks

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volumes to the fact that you are
not.

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Ties every time you retell that
story which I know is part of

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your history and is part of the
reason why you are who you are

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today, because you did hit rock
bottom.

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I mean, putting a gun in your
mouth, is pretty much, the

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definition of rock bottom, and
the concept of being able to

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come back stronger from
something like that.

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It's not a story that everybody
can tell.

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And so I would love for you if
you don't mind because I think a

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lot of people who are going
through it right now and a lot

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of people are going through it,
you know, they don't know what

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to do.
They don't Don't know how to

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lift themselves up from that
place of desperation and a

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feeling that there is no hope.
So what was it, what was that?

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Profound Reckoning that you had
that really caused you to hear

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what this gentleman Hank had to
say and not think.

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Oh, that's not really something
that I can even relate to right

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now.
Like, what what do you think?

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Okay, so Jennifer, I'm Gonna
Keep it all the way real, yeah,

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right.
It wasn't even the suicide

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attempt.
Yeah, it was the thought living

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like a felon, okay.
Working at fast.

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Joint doing construction or some
time.

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I was too pretty for that.
I don't do manual labor.

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Hey, I don't do man.
You even to this day.

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I don't do manual labor.
Okay, I'm just too dainty for

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that.
So the thought making minimum

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wage for the rest of my life or
being on welfare.

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This was all the stuff I was
trying to get away from because

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that is what my entire childhood
consisted of.

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So, I didn't want that life.
So when he said, well, you can

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become an entrepreneur and you
write your own ticket, but that

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depends on how much you grow as
a man.

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Man, and then he started taking
me to Connor.

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He convinced my probation
officer at the time, to let me

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go to a conference with him.
And I go to a conference and

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there's people on stage telling
these Rags to Riches stories and

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some of them who stories or
worse than mine.

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So, I was like, oh, okay, I got
to see the blueprint or I see

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the possibility and so they were
like the more you heal the

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better, you become the more your
business grows.

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That was all I needed to know.
Yeah.

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And I think that to the point of
the fact that you were exposed

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to this conference filled with
people that you could See as

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your own Role Models because
there was this relatability and

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it's not like anybody is
comparing traumas or crises, but

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you can see that it's possible.
And once you can visually see,

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and really believe in your heart
of hearts, that it's possible

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because you see the evidence
right in front of you?

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Then the path becomes clearer,
doesn't it?

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Absolutely, absolutely.
So that was it it was just the

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possibility of what I could
create so that led me to network

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marketing.
And that's where most of the

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person development came from
because, you know, they Push

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personal development.
And yeah, that was the turning

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point for me.
Yeah.

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And it could have been very easy
for the rest of your life.

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To blame your situation to
blame, how it started to blame

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your parenting to blame the
culture, you know, the community

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that you were in, but you're the
same person going through all of

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that.
And with that work that you had

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done to shift your mindset and
to choose to not have that life

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anymore.
You are able to construct of

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your own accord the way forward.
And what success was going to

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look like for you?
Yeah, trust me.

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I blamed and I used it as
motivation until, you know, I

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got around the right coaching
and deep transformation of work

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and realize that I was creating
my own reality, right?

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I was still responsible for my
Creations.

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Even though I was unaware that I
was creating, I was still

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responsible.
It's like being an accessory to

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murder and not knowing you were
an accessory, but that doesn't

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absolve you from being accessory
just because you didn't know you

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were an accessory.
If that makes sense I was

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creating my reality but wasn't
aware of how I was Dating my

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reality.
But that doesn't absolve me from

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the fact that I was creating it,
but that responsibility is what

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I decided to take on.
Yes, and I think that to that

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end that is really the starting
point is taking responsibility,

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it's almost like when an
alcoholic says, yes, I'm an

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alcoholic and is able to admit
it.

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Sometimes it's even hard to say,
well, this is my fault or and

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there's no Faults per se but I
am responsible might be a better

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way of putting it just as you
had me at responsible for

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choosing or accepting to live.
Sway versus I'm responsible for

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making a choice to make a change
and live a different way.

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You don't have to be stuck in
those old Master.

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Well, that's the biggest
challenge.

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I find with people wouldn't
comes to healing and I tell

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folks this straight out the
gate.

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The only thing that will prevent
you from healing, not coping

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healing because you talked about
me being able to share my story

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so easily.
Well that's because I have no

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emotional connection to it.
It's a story that feels like

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they happened to somebody else.
So I have zero emotional

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connection to it which is why I
can tell it the way I do.

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But the way I was able to Get to
that is where most people get

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stuck, which is being willing to
be wrong.

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Not wrong about what happened to
you but wrong about what you

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00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,000
made it mean, and why you think
these things happened?

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00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,500
That's where people get stuck.
The meanings.

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00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:54,600
They create meanings are kind of
like seasoning on chicken, okay?

230
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,600
Never had just boil.
Plain nasty chicken.

231
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,100
It's nasty, right?
Just plain chicken.

232
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:03,500
So what makes the chicken
amazing is the seasoning, right,

233
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:06,000
and depending on the combination
of seasonings you put on it, it

234
00:11:06,008 --> 00:11:08,300
could be really good or Really
bad, right?

235
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:11,300
Life is the same way.
Life events is like playing

236
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:14,400
chicken neutral.
The meaning you put on it is

237
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,800
like the seasoning.
It determines your quality of

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00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,600
life going forward, right?
And so now, I know that you do a

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00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,300
lot of work with communities
within people of color, and

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00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,800
disadvantaged individuals
institutions, and, and whatnot.

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00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:31,300
And so, what is the meaning that
you see most of them putting on

242
00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:34,400
their life?
I'll call it pre Steve bacon and

243
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:38,200
then the meaning, for which they
come to us, A seasoning, which

244
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:42,700
is succulent post.
Steve bacon, last name aside,

245
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,400
right?
Well, everything tastes better

246
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:52,400
with bacon on it and untrue.
Let me see, I mean, of course

247
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:56,300
I'm not good enough is common,
I'm not worthy is common.

248
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:59,400
These are common phrases that
people use because they've heard

249
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,900
it.
So many different times from

250
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,400
other people, right?
But okay, let me explain it to

251
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,600
you this way.
I call it the thesis, see when

252
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:09,900
every child between Ages of zero
in about six are completely

253
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:11,700
unconscious, right?
They have no idea.

254
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:14,000
They're even alive.
Okay, one day conscious

255
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,800
awareness kicks in that's like
waking up out of a coma with

256
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,000
amnesia.
You have no idea where or who

257
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,900
you are.
This is this little kid going,

258
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,700
right?
You just looking at yourself and

259
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,400
you have no idea who you are and
it's an innate question that

260
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,600
we're all born with.
When my wife got her Master's in

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00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,600
psychology, she had to write a
thesis which is basically pick a

262
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,600
problem posed, a question to a
bunch of research.

263
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,800
The thesis is your conclusion?
And all of your research inside

264
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:39,300
sources for every child does the
same thing their interactions

265
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,600
with their parents, in their
environment, their TV, their

266
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:45,600
religion, all of that, begins to
give them information about who

267
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,500
they are.
So they go, your black, this is

268
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,400
what this means about.
You, you're a black man.

269
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,700
This is what this means about
you.

270
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,800
This is where you grew up.
This is what this means about

271
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,500
you.
And then you couple that with

272
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:57,300
the interactions between the
parents, because the child

273
00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,700
judges, the parent based on the
action, not the intention

274
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:02,300
because they're too young to
understand the intention all of

275
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:04,800
that, informs them and then they
make a decision about

276
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,200
themselves.
This is who I am.

277
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,100
This is what I deserve.
And they find a little Groove

278
00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:11,900
that they stay in for most of
their life until it's

279
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:14,300
interrupted.
So I'd like to go back to the

280
00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:17,400
thesis with people, what was the
decision that the kid made

281
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,200
because your life will make
complete and total sense after

282
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,800
that, you'll see why you keep
running through different doors

283
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:26,000
and coming out of the same exit
because you cannot and will not

284
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,300
outperform your self-image.
So it's very the reason why I'm

285
00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:33,000
answering it that way because
the meaning varies depending on

286
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,900
the situation.
And so people give you a lot of

287
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:36,500
generals.
But when you get down to the

288
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:39,700
specifics, Look, the child could
be like, Oh, I'm stupid and I'll

289
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:42,200
never get it right.
That was the decision that a

290
00:13:42,208 --> 00:13:46,000
child made that what I call Mama
believe, produced all the other

291
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,900
limiting beliefs.
So we go back to that decision

292
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:49,700
and go.
Okay.

293
00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:51,400
What is everything that happened
up?

294
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,400
Until that decision that you
remember between Mom and Dad,

295
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,900
because that child is
misinterpreting those

296
00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:59,500
situations, which is why they
arrived at that conclusion.

297
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:03,200
So, posting bacon, that decision
is gone and a new decision has

298
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:07,300
been made it completely shifts
their self-image and so what You

299
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:11,500
think it is about traditional
therapy that you know people can

300
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:15,300
be in therapy for years and
years and years.

301
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:18,500
And then it's like I just, you
know, had myself a tasty of

302
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:20,600
bacon and you know, within
hours.

303
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:24,000
I was able to get what it might
have taken years in therapy to

304
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,900
get like, what do you think it
is about traditional therapy

305
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:32,700
versus what your type of healing
process or start some shit?

306
00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:35,000
Now, you turn stars and that's
what we're all about.

307
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:39,500
All about juicy Congress.
Oh, I have no problem, trust me,

308
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:44,100
zero problem, zero problem
giving the smoke so couple of

309
00:14:44,108 --> 00:14:45,800
things.
Number one, I don't fully knock

310
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,500
therapy because some people
really do need just therapy.

311
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:51,400
They're not ready to take full
accountability for their lives.

312
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,900
So therapy serves in that space
to keep them afloat.

313
00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:57,000
Right?
How do you mean, how does it

314
00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:01,000
keep people afloat?
I mean, I got a couple times and

315
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,300
I for me, I just said, it wasn't
worth while keeping into it.

316
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:07,400
So I actually absolved myself
from it and decided to Kill

317
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,000
myself so, but I can't because
you're looking for something

318
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,800
more aggressive.
Like, hey, can we just get to it

319
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,600
right?
When coping is, like, having a

320
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,500
trash can full of shit?
Sit in your living room.

321
00:15:17,508 --> 00:15:18,600
Learn how to deal with the
smell.

322
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,900
It's just sitting there.
Stinking up the joint.

323
00:15:20,908 --> 00:15:24,600
But you so used to it, right?
That it's not until other people

324
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,700
walk in and goes it stinks in
here, right?

325
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:32,800
And so you num yourself, you try
to Berkeley, you got to deal

326
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,200
with it.
Healing is jumping in that trash

327
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:39,200
can butt-naked cleaning it up.
A out with bleach and Pine-Sol

328
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,500
and everything else and then
pushing it outside that takes

329
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,300
more work, courage and
commitment.

330
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:47,900
But when you're done you're done
a lot of times therapist.

331
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:51,100
And this is I don't care who
gets offended by this because

332
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:52,900
I'm calling you out.
If you get offended I'm talking

333
00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:56,700
to you, a lot of therapists are
wounded, healers trying to heal

334
00:15:56,700 --> 00:16:00,400
themselves through other people
instead of doing their own work.

335
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:03,200
The difference is lived
experience because with lived

336
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,100
experience I'm not going to buy
your victim stories.

337
00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:08,700
I'm not going to say Always you.
So why are you sitting there

338
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:11,000
going?
Oh, I just feel hurt and they're

339
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,900
like, tell me why do you feel
hurt?

340
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:15,600
And when your dad did that how
did that make you feel?

341
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,400
Why are you validating this
victimhood?

342
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:22,200
That's my question.
Being the victim is the opposite

343
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,600
side of a situation.
You got your perpetrator, you

344
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,500
got your victim, you got your
plaintiff, you got your

345
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,700
defendant, a victim is not an
identity.

346
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:32,600
So the challenge that I have
with therapy is that it rewards

347
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:36,500
the victim identity by
continuing to perpetrate it by

348
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,800
just, I'm plea not calling
people out on it but a lot of

349
00:16:39,808 --> 00:16:43,100
times these therapists, they
only know what they learned in

350
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,200
school which is how to diagnose
and treat.

351
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,800
So they're talking about what's
wrong with you, not what's right

352
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,200
with you.
So it's therapies.

353
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,600
Not about healing therapy is
about mechanisms to keep you

354
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,200
moving.
It's not about healing.

355
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:58,400
I almost think of it as a
microcosm for, you know, what's

356
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,400
going on in society to because
granted, there are a lot of

357
00:17:01,408 --> 00:17:03,800
people who were wounded, there
are a lot of people and it

358
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,599
doesn't matter what race.
What age were created, what

359
00:17:06,599 --> 00:17:08,300
background?
Or whatnot, we see what's going

360
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:10,099
on in Iran.
There are a lot of people

361
00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:13,800
hurting and so people are
looking for someone to blame or

362
00:17:13,808 --> 00:17:18,300
something to Blaine to try to
alleviate the pain and the

363
00:17:18,308 --> 00:17:20,800
suffering.
Then the question becomes at.

364
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,800
What point does that person
become self-reliant and

365
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,900
responsible for lifting
themselves up and bettering

366
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:30,600
their own lives rather than
saying, you know, reparations.

367
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:34,200
This is what, you know, I should
be getting because of the wrongs

368
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,100
that have been done to my
ancestors or the, you know, Oh,

369
00:17:37,108 --> 00:17:40,100
the things that have happened in
the past that I still and

370
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:45,200
finding internalised in My DNA
because that's just how it has

371
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,500
been, you know, brought on from
generation to generation.

372
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:51,200
What do you say to that?
As far as just, you know,

373
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:56,000
thinking about large swaths of
the population that are really

374
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,200
struggling?
Like what do you think that they

375
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:03,000
can do in order to believe that
they need to take

376
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,300
responsibility?
I think that, that's step number

377
00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:06,300
one.
Yeah.

378
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:10,100
Well, yes, And to get there,
there has to be some education.

379
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:12,800
Let me explain what I mean.
Yeah, imagine being born with

380
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,200
one car and you had to keep that
car your whole life.

381
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,100
You can never traded in, you
could never sell it.

382
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:20,600
Now, imagine never being given
the owners manual to that car.

383
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,400
And you were told not to trust
mechanics.

384
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,700
This is what communities of
color are dealing with.

385
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:28,600
They have one mind that mind is
a supercomputer, it can create

386
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:32,000
whatever they desire.
They are God with a small G.

387
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,300
We all are.
However, they were never given

388
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,400
the owners manual to how their
mind works.

389
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,900
So what do You do.
When the car starts to break

390
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:41,800
down, it's not performing at the
level.

391
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,200
You want to perform?
Well, you find a way to patch it

392
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,900
together and keep it moving, but
it will never perform at the

393
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:48,900
level.
It was capable of, people have

394
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:51,100
to learn how their mind works
and that's the work that we're

395
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:54,000
doing with communities of color.
We're taking the human belief

396
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:58,300
system and breaking it down into
a way where people with, whether

397
00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:03,200
they have no degree a GED or
PhD, can understand right.

398
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,500
It's interesting because I have
clients who have phds in

399
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:06,900
Psychology and can't explain to
me.

400
00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:10,000
Human belief system works yet
that is what's responsible for

401
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,000
all human behavior?
So isn't it interesting that

402
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,700
that is not being taught in
school at that level to really

403
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:20,100
show you how your mind operates.
Why isn't that not being taught

404
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:22,100
in school?
Well, because why would I teach

405
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:23,700
you the thing that I manipulate
you with?

406
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:25,600
Yeah.
Right that there's almost like,

407
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,900
this misery loves company
mentality to, with respect to

408
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:32,400
victimhood and so it's like oh
you know, if we can all just be

409
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:36,200
miserable together or if we can,
all just feel like we're being

410
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,600
other Whether it doesn't that
make us feel better, isn't that

411
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,700
a sense of community?
Yes, help me.

412
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:46,000
But that's the effect.
The cause is, you have no idea

413
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,300
how powerful you are because no
one's ever taught you.

414
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,700
How to work the thing in between
your ears, you've learned the

415
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:53,000
memorization game, you've
learned how to plug into the

416
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,900
Matrix and perform in The Matrix
but you've never learned how to

417
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:59,800
actually create your life
intentionally.

418
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,300
So it's unconscious creation
versus Conscious Creation.

419
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:06,900
If I can show you how you're
creating your reality without

420
00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:10,300
Alter blame without putting you
down without making you feel

421
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,600
guilty or shameful.
If I can show you how you're

422
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:16,100
creating your reality step by
step then it's easier for you to

423
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:18,000
take responsibility because
you're like okay great.

424
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,400
I see how I created that.
Now, I'm going to take

425
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,900
responsibility and go create
this, but a couple of things

426
00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:25,500
have to happen.
One people have to be willing to

427
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:28,400
admit, you know, being wrong
about certain things and they

428
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,900
have to be willing to let some
things go, right?

429
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:34,200
But what we're talking about is
the effect of people not

430
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,300
understanding how they work, so
they just passed down, try Mama

431
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:39,900
and call it protection.
And in some of these people are

432
00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:42,700
out here teaching trauma and
calling it personal development,

433
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,000
right, where it's just passing
down.

434
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,600
Trauma in the United States.
We still live in 1956 in the

435
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:52,500
United States because the people
who are raising the children,

436
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,800
are the grandparents, a lot of
times because the parents are

437
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,900
out working.
So we're still carrying the

438
00:20:56,900 --> 00:21:01,300
value system from 1956 and we're
not allowing people to see

439
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:03,500
what's possible now.
So, I'm going to share something

440
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,400
that I've been sharing recently.
I discovered the difference

441
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,000
between Systemic racism and
white privilege.

442
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:11,500
I am a black man with white
privilege but I don't forget,

443
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:12,900
I'm black.
Here's what that means.

444
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,300
Systemic racism, its physical,
it's the laws, it's the

445
00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:18,700
policies.
It's the Customs, it's the red

446
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:22,700
lining, it's the profiling, it's
physical things set in place to

447
00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:25,600
keep people of color, from
performing or advancing, right?

448
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:28,400
You can't wear that hair here,
that type of stuff that's

449
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,000
systemic racism.
White Privilege is a mentality

450
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,500
that I could be doing have
whatever I please.

451
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,700
And I don't need anyone's
permission or forgiveness, the

452
00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:38,600
world was built.
For them like that, and the last

453
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:42,000
600 years where they can dream
as big as they want to dream and

454
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,400
do whatever they want to do.
However, people of color have

455
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,700
not had that over the last few
centuries simply because, well,

456
00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:50,200
we couldn't aspire to be
president 1946.

457
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:53,100
You couldn't write there were
certain things that you were cut

458
00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:57,300
off from simply because of
systemic racism and profiling,

459
00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:59,000
right?
You also had to ask for

460
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,800
permission or forgiveness back
in the day to make sure you

461
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,400
didn't piss off, the white folks
so that you don't lose your job.

462
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,500
You don't lose your life, you
don't lose your house, you don't

463
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:10,200
lose your business.
This was barely 60 years ago, so

464
00:22:10,300 --> 00:22:13,800
if you got the older generation,
who grew up with that limitation

465
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,200
already put on them, and they're
teaching the children.

466
00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:18,300
Oh, that's not for us, that's
for them.

467
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:21,400
That type of thing.
Then we don't have the I could

468
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,700
be doing have whatever.
I please, no need anyone's

469
00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:25,200
permission of forgiveness
mentality.

470
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:29,000
However, throughout history,
there has been examples like

471
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,400
Madam c.j.
Walker, who became a millionaire

472
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,400
when women had no rights and
neither did black people.

473
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,400
But she said, I could be doing
hair whatever I please and I DNA

474
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,600
you ask permission or
forgiveness and became a

475
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,300
millionaire.
So what I'm saying is there has

476
00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:44,500
been instances throughout
history were people of color

477
00:22:44,500 --> 00:22:46,500
have that mentality, Frederick
Douglass.

478
00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:49,400
I'm all those people.
So my point is, is today people

479
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:53,100
of color of all backgrounds can
be doing, have whatever they

480
00:22:53,100 --> 00:22:54,200
please.
And they don't need anyone's

481
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,400
permission to forgiveness.
Yeah, those days are over.

482
00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:00,100
I remember seeing an interview
with Morgan Freeman and it was

483
00:23:00,100 --> 00:23:02,900
probably around the time of
George Floyd, but I remember

484
00:23:02,900 --> 00:23:07,100
seeing this interview, where he
said, I've never experienced, Is

485
00:23:07,108 --> 00:23:11,300
am in my life and people were
astonished and upset because it

486
00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:14,400
seems like he was discounting
the fact that there is racism,

487
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:18,600
but he was pretty much saying
what his mindset was that he did

488
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:22,900
not let his color his skin tone
limit, his abilities to succeed

489
00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:24,700
in life.
And that's I believe what the

490
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:28,200
message was, which was taken
very much in very different

491
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,800
ways, but I think it gets that
what you're saying?

492
00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:33,900
I have experienced racism so I
don't know what the hell he was

493
00:23:33,900 --> 00:23:36,000
talking about.
I have experienced racism,

494
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000
right?
Especially I'm spending half my

495
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,400
childhood in the South.
Yeah.

496
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:43,000
What he was trying to say was
just poorly articulated in my

497
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,600
opinion, right?
Because you have to be

498
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:48,000
responsible for the listening or
speaking into self-image is not

499
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,800
what I think of me.
It's not what you think of me,

500
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,500
is what I think you think of me.
So I'm going to filter

501
00:23:52,500 --> 00:23:55,600
everything you say through what
I think, you think of me.

502
00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:59,100
So I can take that a million
different ways, but however, I

503
00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:02,300
need to personalize it to
validate my own experience, so

504
00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:05,200
that was just really poorly
articulated, I get where he was

505
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,500
coming from but you did.
Kind of just invalidate where a

506
00:24:08,508 --> 00:24:12,300
lot of people have experienced
that was their experience and

507
00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:14,000
you just completely invalidated
them.

508
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,800
I get that, that's your mindset.
That's phenomenal, that's what

509
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,800
keeps you moving.
So you think that that is a

510
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:23,400
different way of articulating,
or maybe not necessarily a great

511
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,700
way of articulating.
The fact that you say that you

512
00:24:25,700 --> 00:24:29,000
also have this white privilege
where you live with the mindset

513
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,200
of white privilege, I live with
the only reason why we call it

514
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,100
white privilege because it's
that triggers people, right?

515
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,000
So the reason why I try to break
it down Because we only reason

516
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,500
why we're calling it white
privilege in the first place is

517
00:24:40,500 --> 00:24:45,100
because that's the group that
has been able to freely Express

518
00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:47,100
this mentality throughout the
centuries.

519
00:24:47,100 --> 00:24:50,400
If that makes sense, right?
It's just being god with a small

520
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:55,200
G, is what it is, right?
So when I recognize, who I am

521
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:59,500
that through, my perception will
reason intuition imagination

522
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:01,800
memory, the six mental
faculties, that are the

523
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,300
characteristics of God.
Having those mental faculties

524
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:08,800
allows me to create whatever.
Reality I desire to create

525
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,300
without anyone's permission or
forgiveness.

526
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:14,600
So operating from a sense that I
am God with a small G.

527
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:18,300
I operate from that mentality,
your level of Consciousness and

528
00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:21,100
racism and all that.
I understand that you don't even

529
00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:23,000
know why you believe what you
believe.

530
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,300
So I just ignore it.
If you're stuck on the level of

531
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:28,600
physicality, then that tells me
that you are at the lowest level

532
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,800
of Consciousness.
That's like being mad at a kid,

533
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,700
they could be 58 but on the
level of Consciousness that's a

534
00:25:33,708 --> 00:25:36,100
child.
So I just completely ignore it

535
00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:37,300
but I don't forget them.
Black.

536
00:25:37,300 --> 00:25:40,200
See if I get pulled over by the
cops, I'm not going to go off.

537
00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:44,300
I know how you see me.
So, yes, what I mean is I have

538
00:25:44,300 --> 00:25:47,100
white privilege in the sense of
I can create whatever the I

539
00:25:47,100 --> 00:25:49,000
desire to create.
I didn't need anybody's

540
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,000
permission to build what I've
built right.

541
00:25:51,100 --> 00:25:53,500
But I also understand systemic
racism as well.

542
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:56,300
So that's why I said there's a
difference between the two so I

543
00:25:56,300 --> 00:26:00,200
can move and create as a god
with a small G, but I'm also

544
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,800
very cautious of the
environments that I'm in because

545
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,600
of systemic racism.
Does that make sense?

546
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,400
It's a absolutely does.
Thank you for clarifying that

547
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,600
because my feeling, is that as
much of a blessing as

548
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:15,800
individuals, like Shaun, King
are and bringing to attention to

549
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:19,400
social media, attention of the
atrocities and things about

550
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,600
racism, that really need to be
corrected.

551
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:26,300
I wonder if a lot of people get
bathed in those experiences, and

552
00:26:26,300 --> 00:26:29,400
in that news cycle, and then
just believe the world to be

553
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:33,900
that, they believe that there is
nothing good when it comes to

554
00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:36,500
police officers there at or
white police officers for that

555
00:26:36,500 --> 00:26:39,100
matter.
ER, and there's only racism and

556
00:26:39,100 --> 00:26:42,900
that, you know, things are just
it paints a very Bleak picture

557
00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:47,200
ever being able to have a chance
of being killed when you keep re

558
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,200
wounding and keep re showing
these sorts of things.

559
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:53,400
And so I was curious about your
take on that and what you would

560
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,700
say would be A Better Way
Forward potentially in order to

561
00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:59,400
help move Society towards better
healing.

562
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,100
Well, this is what I mean by
having an aunt learning

563
00:27:02,100 --> 00:27:04,700
understanding human belief
system, because then you'll know

564
00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:07,500
how you're being manipulated is
Three steps.

565
00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:10,000
So I love to study cult leaders
and stuff like that.

566
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:14,100
Because I always wonder how do
you get grown people to do these

567
00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:16,000
atrocities?
These are not dumb people.

568
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,700
A lot of doctors lawyers
Architects.

569
00:27:18,700 --> 00:27:20,900
I didn't get these really smart
people to do dumb.

570
00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:22,100
Shit, how does that happen?
Right?

571
00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:25,300
So when you understand human
belief system, there's three

572
00:27:25,300 --> 00:27:29,000
steps to installing a belief in
someone won, the respect that

573
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,100
Source.
If it's a respected source that

574
00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:34,600
you respect, they have a certain
level of authority which means

575
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,900
they have emotional weight to
whatever.

576
00:27:36,900 --> 00:27:38,400
Ever.
It is they say to you, right?

577
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,100
To is the conviction.
Well, how much do they believe

578
00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,800
what they're saying?
And three, the spaced repetition

579
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,700
over and over and over again.
That's three steps to installing

580
00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:49,200
a belief.
In any person, write the word

581
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,800
conditioning, literally means
the process of training and

582
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,600
animal or human on how to
behave.

583
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,400
So the media is constantly
conditioning.

584
00:27:57,500 --> 00:28:00,800
Everyone to see life through a
certain lens.

585
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:04,700
So when they're respected
sources, only keep showing this

586
00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:07,300
image over and over because I
noticed that CNN.

587
00:28:07,300 --> 00:28:08,700
One time.
I was like, sure.

588
00:28:08,700 --> 00:28:10,400
They just cover one murder,
right?

589
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,000
Of a shooting, got it.
But the soon as that one was

590
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,700
update, there's another one.
So now that's all that's on

591
00:28:15,700 --> 00:28:18,700
there, but that's the lens
right, that you'll see the world

592
00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:20,900
through and you'll go, you know,
what, not even worth.

593
00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:23,200
Trying look, see, it's not even
worth trying.

594
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,000
So because we don't understand
how the human belief system

595
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,200
works.
And when we're fed images, how

596
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:32,300
our brain processes that how we
take that, and put it with all

597
00:28:32,300 --> 00:28:34,200
the other memories, and
everything has been told to

598
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,200
produce a low level frequency or
a low level of living, Living

599
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,200
when we don't understand that
process.

600
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,800
Then yeah, we get manipulated
over and over again, which is

601
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:45,200
why I again I built a company
and a curriculum whose entire

602
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:49,100
mission is to teach the human
belief system to parents of

603
00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:51,300
color so that you can see how we
are.

604
00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:54,500
Passing down a trauma, how you
can understand it, because then

605
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:57,500
when you understand it, you can
spot it and go, no, no, you

606
00:28:57,500 --> 00:29:01,500
don't need to drug tame and cage
a bunny rabbit, but you will

607
00:29:01,500 --> 00:29:05,900
drug cage and tame a lion and
hope it never figures itself

608
00:29:05,900 --> 00:29:08,300
out.
I'd Mobile world were black

609
00:29:08,300 --> 00:29:11,900
brown, yellow people all over
the world operate from a space

610
00:29:11,900 --> 00:29:13,800
that I could be doing have
whatever I please.

611
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,900
And I don't need anyone's
permission or forgiveness and

612
00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:18,400
that would be a beautiful world
to live in for everyone.

613
00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:21,500
Absolutely.
This topic I'm very passionate

614
00:29:21,500 --> 00:29:24,600
about because I understood
having to go from negative 10

615
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,900
suicide all the way to where I
am now I know everything that

616
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:31,700
had to happen in between and
understanding how my mind works.

617
00:29:31,700 --> 00:29:34,700
Was number one, that was the
number one that allowed me to

618
00:29:34,700 --> 00:29:36,800
take responsibility but if I
don't know how I'm doing.

619
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:37,600
Doing it.
Then how do I take

620
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,100
responsibility?
Because I'm just thinking about

621
00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:41,100
falter blame.
He who controls the past,

622
00:29:41,100 --> 00:29:43,500
controls the present, and he who
controls the present, controls

623
00:29:43,500 --> 00:29:45,700
the future.
That's why we keep getting shown

624
00:29:45,700 --> 00:29:49,000
images of the past to
indoctrinate people into a

625
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,400
certain way of being which is
why it doesn't matter how far we

626
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,900
move and years.
It seems like Society doesn't

627
00:29:55,900 --> 00:30:00,800
really Advanced much so in order
for people to become self-aware,

628
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,700
are there any particular steps
that you walk them through or

629
00:30:04,700 --> 00:30:06,800
that you suggest just to kind of
get started?

630
00:30:06,900 --> 00:30:09,900
Did you say like okay?
Oh yeah one of them is I have

631
00:30:09,900 --> 00:30:13,800
them do a thought it I have my
clients literally write every

632
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:18,100
thought that comes to their mind
over a period of time that

633
00:30:18,100 --> 00:30:20,800
causes fear and contraction.
There's only two schools of

634
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:22,900
thought, love and fear.
The thought either comes from

635
00:30:22,900 --> 00:30:25,900
love or comes from Fear with
intentions are either doing

636
00:30:25,900 --> 00:30:27,900
things out of love or you're
doing things because of fear,

637
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,800
right?
And human beings.

638
00:30:29,900 --> 00:30:33,200
What they're doing is either an
expression of Love or cry for

639
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,300
help and healing but that's a
whole another conversation,

640
00:30:35,300 --> 00:30:37,500
right?
So one Things that I have them

641
00:30:37,500 --> 00:30:38,600
do is pay attention to
everything.

642
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:42,000
They think write it down, I make
them it's tedious, but I want

643
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,200
them to see.
Look at your who you're being

644
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:48,000
produces, the thoughts that
create your reality.

645
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,400
But what you believe produces,
who you're being that, produces

646
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,200
the thoughts that create your
reality.

647
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,300
So that's the one of the first
things that I have them.

648
00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:58,900
Do the second thing I have them
do is be aware of who they have

649
00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:01,600
been showing up as so.
I have the right out what's

650
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,000
everything.
He wants over the next three

651
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,000
years and they write out and
then we do a little experiment,

652
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,900
you know where Do a little time
travel and it's three years from

653
00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:11,000
now and now we're having a
conversation of what, you know,

654
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,100
the last three years have been
like.

655
00:31:12,100 --> 00:31:14,500
But once they're fully excited
about that, I say great.

656
00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:17,200
Who are you being?
As this version of you, creating

657
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,900
all these things who are you
being and they'll write a list,

658
00:31:19,900 --> 00:31:22,600
the guy had last night, he wrote
a list of, like, 80 different

659
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,200
words that describe to that
version of him was being and I

660
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,200
go great.
Now, Circle all the ones that

661
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,700
you have been being for the last
three years and you can produce

662
00:31:30,700 --> 00:31:32,600
receipts.
He said, none of these.

663
00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:35,200
I said, oh interesting.
So if you haven't been being

664
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,000
this then who have you been baby
and I made him do that with all

665
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,500
80 words and then I hadn't read
that list to me.

666
00:31:40,500 --> 00:31:44,800
And it was timid scared, angry
manipulative, write all these

667
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:46,200
words.
And I said, now does your life

668
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,100
make sense?
Look at who you've been showing

669
00:31:48,100 --> 00:31:51,600
up as you've been creating your
own reality, showing up as this,

670
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,800
and then playing victim to your
own Creations, because you don't

671
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:57,200
know how you created it.
So it's that level of awareness

672
00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:01,500
where I'm making them go inside
themselves, and that starts to

673
00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:04,900
absolve that victim mentality
because they can, it's really

674
00:32:04,900 --> 00:32:08,200
hard to fight that.
This is who I've been showing up

675
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,000
as cause and effect.
Of course, this is the way my

676
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,000
life is going to look, it can't
look any other way.

677
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,500
Then I asked him.
Okay?

678
00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:17,100
If you actually did everything,
you said you would do over the

679
00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:19,100
last three years.
Where would your life be anyway?

680
00:32:19,100 --> 00:32:21,700
Oh, I asked this guy.
He's and I was in his Uber and I

681
00:32:21,708 --> 00:32:24,000
asked him that question because
he heard me coaching somebody on

682
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,600
the phone and he was telling me
about everything he wanted to do

683
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:30,300
and all the stuff that was in
his way and you know, the racism

684
00:32:30,300 --> 00:32:32,700
this thing that's okay.
I said I'd totally respect her

685
00:32:32,700 --> 00:32:34,500
model of the world.
I said, if you had done

686
00:32:34,500 --> 00:32:36,600
everything, you said you would
do every plan you ever.

687
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:40,100
Made every goal you ever said if
you actually did it and didn't

688
00:32:40,100 --> 00:32:41,900
quit in the middle of the
process, where would your life

689
00:32:41,900 --> 00:32:43,500
be?
He said, oh man, I'd be on Tyler

690
00:32:43,500 --> 00:32:46,100
Perry status.
I said, so do you have a racism

691
00:32:46,100 --> 00:32:48,600
problem or do you have a,
keeping, your word problem?

692
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,700
And he goes, hey man, get the
fuck out of my car.

693
00:32:50,700 --> 00:32:53,000
I said not, before you drop me
off at the airport.

694
00:32:53,100 --> 00:32:56,700
Yeah, and then he went and
booked on my calendar because it

695
00:32:56,700 --> 00:32:58,800
rocked him.
I said, see you're the villain

696
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,500
in the victim of your own story
but these people are convincing

697
00:33:02,500 --> 00:33:05,300
you that they're the problem and
as long as they convince you

698
00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:08,600
that they're the problem and you
Always be in the passenger seat

699
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,500
going 100 miles an hour in the
wrong direction.

700
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:15,100
All I'm asking you to do is be
aware of who's driving and then

701
00:33:15,100 --> 00:33:17,200
simply make the choice of
getting in the driver's seat.

702
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,900
In spite of all the racism, it's
there.

703
00:33:19,900 --> 00:33:23,100
But in spite of it you can still
create whatever life you desire

704
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,000
if you so choose.
And so for those of you

705
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,800
listening for those of you
watching, this is the benefit of

706
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:32,500
having a coach work with you
because it's not easy to do this

707
00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:35,500
work, on your own, all of those
things writing down those words

708
00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:40,200
and having somebody Also being
on your side, in order to point

709
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,000
out, objectively, what's going
on, and be able to shine a

710
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,000
light.
On those things about you that

711
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:48,800
you might not be aware of and be
able to recognize of yourself

712
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,000
somebody.
Like, Steve is going to be able

713
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:55,000
to really help you get unstuck
and get to that place in your

714
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,200
life that you really deserve to
be at.

715
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,000
And so Steve, how is it that
people can find you?

716
00:34:00,100 --> 00:34:03,200
Hold Steve banking.com
everything that they need about

717
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,100
me.
Learn about me, my social media.

718
00:34:05,100 --> 00:34:07,700
Everything is there a couple of
blocks That I've written it's

719
00:34:07,700 --> 00:34:08,699
all there.
Okay.

720
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:10,800
Steve Fagan.
Thank you so much for joining

721
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,800
us.
We look forward to seeing you

722
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:16,400
and all of your clients be as
successful as possible.

723
00:34:16,500 --> 00:34:19,300
Thank you so much Jennifer.
Thank you for listening to the

724
00:34:19,300 --> 00:34:23,400
human Beauty movement podcast.
Be sure to follow rate and

725
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,400
review us wherever you stream
podcasts.

726
00:34:26,500 --> 00:34:29,400
The human Beauty movement is a
community based platform.

727
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,500
That cultivates, the beauty of
humankind, check out our

728
00:34:32,500 --> 00:34:36,300
workshops, find us on social
media and share our inspiration

729
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:39,100
with all the beautiful humans in
your life.

730
00:34:39,100 --> 00:34:43,500
Learn more at the human Beauty.
Movement.com, thank you so much

731
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:44,900
for being a beautiful human.