Episode 25: Kaelynn Partlow - Life With Autism & Love On The Spectrum

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Hello, beautiful humans.
Welcome to role models.

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JC conversations with beautiful
humans.

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I'm Jennifer Norman founder of
the human Beauty movement and

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your host.
It's my honor to serve up

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inspiration in the form of this
podcast.

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So if you like, what you hear,
hit that subscribe button and

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join the human Beauty movement
Community.

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My guest today is Kalin Partlow.
Kalin is a Third Behavior,

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technician with project Hope
Foundation where she works with

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autistic individuals, teaching,
communication, social and

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self-advocacy skills.
Welcome, Kalin, thank you.

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I'm so delighted to have you
today.

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Tell us your origin story.
If you were about 10 years old,

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when you were diagnosed with
autism ADHD and some other

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things, is that right?
Yeah.

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I was about 10 years old.
I think my mom knew that

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something was in her words, a
little off.

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Help me, I guess when I was very
young, but being that I was born

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in Vermont, a lot of doctors
didn't really consider that that

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was a possibility back in the
90s, you know?

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Just because I was a girl and
instead of having a speech

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delay, I actually spoke early,
which is sometimes seen in kids

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with autism, but it wasn't as
well known just because, you

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know, rural Vermont, I guess.
So they really didn't Discover

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it until I got my shoulder.
Oh, very interesting.

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So yeah, 10 years old, some
children are diagnosed a bit

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earlier than that to your point
and it It does seem to impact

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boys more than a does girls.
Yeah, I think there's a lot of

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people questioning out there,
whether or not that statistic is

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accurate, just because girls
have a tendency to be diagnosed

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so much later.
And some people are realizing

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that even grown women when they
get to adulthood, they're

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realizing.
Oh my gosh.

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They've missed this thing and
adult women are being diagnosed

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with autism.
And so there's growing

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conversation, wondering if
autism is really more common in

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males, or is it just under
diagnosed in females?

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Hmm, okay, so yeah, I'm going.
Pointed back a little bit

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because I'm sure that there are
a lot of parents.

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A lot of people who might be
watching this, we're thinking

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well what are the signs?
What are some of the things that

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caused your parents to say?
Maybe we should get this checked

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out for me.
I think it was an extreme

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sensitivity to noises.
I remember lining up my toys as

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a child and playing in a very
specific way.

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Having an imagination that
really kind of took over

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everything.
So in most children have

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interests in different things,
but mine really kind of took

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over my life.
I was very Into The Lion King at

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the time.
And so I ate slept and breathed

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Lion King all the time even when
it was maybe inappropriate.

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Some of those were where the
signs that something was a

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little bit different about me.
I see, I see.

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Do you remember life before that
to I know that you said that

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you, you know, had this habit of
lining things up and needing it

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sounds like organization or this
would you say obsessive, is that

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a right kind of clinic and even
more ritualistic ritualistic?

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I see a lot of rituals that you
would Go through in order to

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feel comfortable or it would be
something that you were just

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involved in because you felt a
little bit more panicky or a

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little bit concerned if things
weren't that way.

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Yeah, I think it's just like it
brought a sense of order because

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children by nature don't have
very much Independence and very

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much control over their
environments.

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And so, I think sometimes that's
where we see that play out in

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autism.
Is, you know, if you're not able

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to control a lot of the things
that happen to you in, on top of

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that you are really, really
distressed by Dick table changes

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sometimes lining things up or
behaving, in a way that appears

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ritualistic, can bring some
comfort in a sense of control.

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Hmm, got it.
So now you are proud advocate

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for the fact that getting a
diagnosis, is a luxury that many

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people don't have access to.
So, what steps do you think can

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be taken to help the world
become an environment where

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getting diagnosed is more
accessible?

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I think it really, it starts
with awareness in places, like,

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you know, the United States were
very lucky to have several

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awareness.
Pains were very lucky to have

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access to the internet and all
that goes with that.

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But there are a lot of places in
the world that don't have those

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tools yet and don't have those
resources.

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And so there's much to be done,
still with more awareness and I

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think that is how we can grow
for it to be more accessible to

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other people.
Absolutely.

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On Tick-Tock you've posted
videos on how you carry fidgets

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with you religiously.
Are there other products or

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gadgets or services that help
make living with conditions

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easier for you?
Oh absolutely headphones.

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An earplug It's a sensory swing.
I have small plastic drawers to

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organize my snack.
So I always know, you know,

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what's where and so that I'm not
getting confused or distracted.

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I just I know where it is.
And what to expect.

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I've used a phone holder just
because I have described.

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Yes, it makes my hands week so
I've used a thing to hold my

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phone, believe it or not, the
iPhone 12 is actually really

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heavy.
Your hands aren't very strong.

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I've used gym memberships to
help with ADHD.

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There's a lot of research that
ties exercise to ADHD.

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Treatment and supports the, that
it is effective.

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And then the, the other thing I
do is I do dog training classes

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with a dog training mentor, and
it's just, it kind of keeps me

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accountable.
Be able to engage in my hobbies

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as well as my work fascinating.
Now, you mentioned something

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that I'm not familiar with a
sensory swing.

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Is that what you, what you said?
What is that?

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It's people make jokes about it
sometimes, but I've literally

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got a swing kind of like.
You might see at a playground

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but it's mounted on the ceiling
in my room.

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Okay.
And so when you get on that, is

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it for balance it?
Provides a lot of sensory input.

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So, a lot of people on the
Spectrum can find that

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back-and-forth motion to be
really soothing.

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And so, that's usually what I
use it for fascinating.

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Thank you for letting me know
that I love learning new things.

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Now, you mentioned, many times
that individuals often believe

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that high functioning autism
means easy autism.

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So, how do you dismantle that
misconception?

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I think, when people say high
functioning autism, they mean

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somebody whose language able to
somebody who is able to Stand a

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lot of language in someone who's
able to produce a lot of

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language.
And I think when people have

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average communication abilities,
who, you know, have the normal

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or average amount of language
that you might expect them to,

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for their age.
Other people might experience

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their autism as mild, but that's
rarely how they experience their

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autism.
So it might be easy for people

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on the outside, but if you're
the one experiencing it,

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oftentimes you might not label
your experiences.

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Easy, mmm.
Very good point.

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Are there any other things that
people usually get wrong about

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autism?
Some that you would like to

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address.
Absolutely.

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I think you know, lacking in
empathy is one big misconception

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that's out there that autistic
people, maybe don't feel the

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full range of human emotions or
don't experience empathy for

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others which is untrue.
What is true?

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Is they might have deficits in
perspective taking.

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So if I don't understand your
thoughts or your feelings it

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doesn't mean I don't care about
them, I don't know about them

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and those two things are very
different.

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The other thing that kind of
goes with some autism

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misconceptions would be
giftedness a lot of I do believe

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that people diagnosed with
autism often present with this,

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gifted ability, these high IQs
who are, you know, mathematical

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savants.
And the fact is that most

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autistic people do not have
giftedness.

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They do not have a gift at IQ.
It does happen in autistic

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people but it is not the
majority hmm.

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I've also heard a lot of people
say well my child is autistic

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and so therefore he can't lie.
He's always telling the truth

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and he'll always be
straightforward and direct you

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think that that is also a miss
Conception or is it based upon

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some sort of truth?
That's a great question.

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I think that is true for some
individuals and it is not true

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for others.
I think largely that one tends

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to be more true actually than
others, but it can be untrue for

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some individuals.
Mmm.

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Okay.
So definitely can't make a

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blanket statement about
everybody from that front.

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So now you are a therapist
working with autistic children.

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Was this a career path that you
would always wanted to follow?

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No definitely not.
If you had asked me as a child

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Before high school, I would have
said I'm going to be a dog

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trainer and if you ask me in
elementary school, I would have

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said I'm going to be a lion so
now it's not exactly what I

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imagined but in high school I
got an internship actually with

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the organization that I'm
employed by because I went here

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for high school.
So while I was there receiving

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Services they had you know,
given me an opportunity to work

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in a preschool classroom for
part of my day just as an

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internship and I learned that I
really liked working with

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children and that I was really
good with children.

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And from there I was able to
Kind of focus my studies on

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working towards becoming a
behavior technician.

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And after I graduated, I was
able to receive the training and

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was hired by the same company
that I actually went to school

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at.
So, it's really cool.

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What a great Testament to the
organization to the school for

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having you.
Number one, go through the

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process of education and then
turning around and being an

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educator yourself.
I think that's fantastic.

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Yeah, definitely.
Now, on Facebook, you have a

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group known as kailyn's autistic
angle, which is an Conduit for

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parents professionals and
autistic individuals.

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Can you tell us a little bit
more about that?

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Yeah, so I created the page just
to have a resource that is

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consistently putting out a mix
of both factual information as

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well as personal perspectives
from autistic people such as

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myself and many others.
I think there's a lot of pages

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that may be exclusively, post
research or exclusively post

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personal opinions, and people
really seem kind of divided in

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which one they prefer.
And so I wanted to have a place

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that shares both to keep both
sides of the audience engaged.

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Mmm.
Wonderful.

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Now we along with the rest of
the world's adore love on the

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Spectrum.
So how is your experience

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filming the show?
It was, it was great.

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It's nothing.
It's like nothing you've ever

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experienced before.
I have never had experience on

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any sort of TV show and so I
really wasn't sure what to

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expect and it's hard to
describe, but I was kind of

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surprised when they showed up at
my door.

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Like I did several Zoom
interviews and they I knew they

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were coming but a part of me
just didn't really That it was

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real, I guess.
And so, when they finally did

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show up, I was a little bit
surprised quite honestly, but it

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was, it was a good experience.
It was really fun where there

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any moments that you'd like to
share the but like of the behind

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the scenes that you found were
amusing or something that.

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Wow, this was, you know, a very
interesting experience that I

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would have never have expected
in my entire life.

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Yeah, so their microphones are
actually really sound sensitive,

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which is not a thing.
You would think about if you

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didn't know, which is funny
because I am very sound

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sensitive and so So the camera
crew, which is comprised of

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everybody who is neurotypical,
became very sound sensitive

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because they had to look out for
the sounds that was that the

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microphone is picking up.
So every time a loud truck would

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drive by or even the sound of
our air conditioner.

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I actually had to turn the air
conditioner off briefly so that

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they could film a couple of
shots just because the

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microphones were so sensitive
and it's just something you

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wouldn't have ever thought
about.

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Now you've said that you gained
thousands of followers overnight

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after love on the Spectrum
premiered.

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So how does it now feel to have
a platform that allows you?

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Educate others on autism.
It feels great.

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Honestly, I think firstly I'm
thankful to have such

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wide-reaching platforms that
give me a voice just because I

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think it's a privilege.
Not everybody has to be able to

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share their thoughts and
feelings.

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And more importantly, to share
information with people.

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I think a lot of other people,
probably have a lot of

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information that they would like
to disperse as well, but maybe

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don't have the audience that I
do.

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So I'm definitely thankful to
have that and I'm also excited

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about ability to put out my
unique perspective.

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I really enjoyed that.
You have any other advice for

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people who are diagnosed with
autism who might be struggling

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with any facets of their lives?
My advice would be to seek out

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resources and supports for the
specific areas that they

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struggle with but also remember
to celebrate and pursue your

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strengths autistic people.
Not unlike everybody else.

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Tend to thrive when we're able
to pursue our interests and

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passions, that's an incredible
answer.

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I actually wrote a book called
The Adventures of super Captain

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Brave, man, a spectrum of love,
and it's to help children

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younger children.
And it's a picture book, learn

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about autism, and then also help
them be aware of some of the

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signs and symptoms.
And what I did was I broke it

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down into the colors of the
spectrum because to me, autism

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is quite broad, isn't it?
It's like there are people who

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are on the Spectrum who are
extremely high functioning and

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then others who, you know,
really have a bit more

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consideration needed in terms of
their ability to speak in terms

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of their ability to be
interacting socially with

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others, Etc.
And So, I broke the Spectrum

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down into sections, where people
who were read were very much

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perhaps at this place where they
were very involved in motor

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skills and organization.
And then there were those who

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were, for example, orange were
more creative, people who were

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yellow, that might have been
more involved in music, others

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that were green, who were more
interested in nature and being

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outside.
And in the outdoors, we got to

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Violet which was more Those
children who were in sir, poetry

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and learning and language, and
then blew who were children, who

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might be more interested in
science and technology and

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things like that.
And certainly, that's maybe a

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very basic level because it is
for children.

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I didn't want to get too too
involved in a lot of the

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behavioral things.
But to me it just helps to give

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some appreciation for the wide
variety of people who live on

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the Spectrum.
Do you have any Tips or tools

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that you use at project Hope
Foundation that helped for

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children or adults to identify
with specific aspects of autism.

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Yeah so I personally have
disclosed my diagnosis to

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several of my clients just as a
means of connection and I have

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encountered that they are
actually really surprised like

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really surprised more than I
might have expected.

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I really like being able to
share that with them I think

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right now project hope is in the
process of developing some more

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I guess streamlined to And
resources for everybody to be

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able to access because I think
right now we do it just on an

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individual basis.
You know, how are we going to

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support this specific individual
with this specific type of

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information?
But I think we're trying to

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shift towards having more
resources available to more

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people.
Yeah.

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One other thing that I've become
aware of two is that when coming

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across anybody who is
neurodivergent disabled, Etc.

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It's very important to recognize
and remember that they are

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people and they deserve love and
they deserve respect.

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Pecked and they deserve patience
and kindness just like you would

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hope for in your own life.
And I have a sense that there

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comes to be the societal or
medical desire to fix and to,

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you know, whether that be
medication or whether that be

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appropriateness of behavior,
Etc.

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When really leaning into a
person's Tendencies and

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typicality is may actually be
the best thing for them because

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they might feel liberated to
just be themselves.

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Are there things that project
hope recommends.

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As far as just advice to parents
and Educators as to how to

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really allow people who are
autistic to shine and to just be

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themselves, I think we do a lot
of teaching to people's

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strengths so if they're
interested in one particular

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area, we Embrace that and we run
with it with them, we provide

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them, the tools and resources
that they naturally gravitate

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towards.
I think we work really hard to

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provide exposure Two kids.
So if they're particularly

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interested in theater will you
know, help you get set up with a

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theater and provide supports
necessary to be able to access

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those things?
Which, I guess, as I said

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earlier, if we are pursuing and
leaning into our passions, I

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think that is how we flourish.
Mmm, absolutely.

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I totally agree with that and so
what are some of your passions

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now.
Do you still love The Lion King?

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You Don't Want to Be Alive
anymore.

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I think I appreciate the Lion
King on a more healthy level

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that I did when I was a child.
Right now, I am really

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passionate about my work.
I'm really passionate about

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dogs, and dog training.
And those two things really take

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up my entire Focus.
All the time.

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Wonderful.
Do you have pets of your own?

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Yeah, I have a black lab,
beautiful.

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Beautiful.
I used to have two yellow labs

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and a black lab.
And now I've kind of migrated

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towards smaller dogs little
Chihuahuas and things like that.

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A little bit easier for me to
carry and bring along with me if

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I knew.
Email.

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Well Kalin it was an absolute
Delight to meet with you today.

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I'm so glad to have you on the
show.

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Thank you so much for being a
role model to those who are on

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the Spectrum.
I will put all of your

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information in the show notes so
that people know about project

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hope and where to find you.
Thank you.