Episode 25: Kaelynn Partlow - Life With Autism & Love On The Spectrum

0:07 Hello, beautiful humans. Welcome to role models. JC conversations with beautiful humans. I'm Jennifer Norman founder of the human Beauty movement and your host. It's my honor to serve up inspiration in the form of this podcast. So if you like, what you hear, hit that subscribe button and join the human Beauty movement Community. My guest today is Kalin Partlow. Kalin is a Third Behavior, technician with project Hope Foundation where she works with autistic individuals, teaching, communication, social and self-advocacy skills. Welcome, Kalin, thank you. I'm so delighted to have you today. Tell us your origin story. If you were about 10 years old, when you were diagnosed with autism ADHD and some other things, is that right? Yeah.

0:53 I was about 10 years old. I think my mom knew that something was in her words, a little off. Help me, I guess when I was very young, but being that I was born in Vermont, a lot of doctors didn't really consider that that was a possibility back in the 90s, you know? Just because I was a girl and instead of having a speech delay, I actually spoke early, which is sometimes seen in kids with autism, but it wasn't as well known just because, you know, rural Vermont, I guess. So they really didn't Discover it until I got my shoulder. Oh, very interesting. So yeah, 10 years old, some children are diagnosed a bit earlier than that to your point and it It does seem to impact boys more than a does girls. Yeah, I think there's a lot of people questioning out there, whether or not that statistic is accurate, just because girls have a tendency to be diagnosed so much later. And some people are realizing that even grown women when they get to adulthood, they're realizing. Oh my gosh.

1:45 They've missed this thing and adult women are being diagnosed with autism. And so there's growing conversation, wondering if autism is really more common in males, or is it just under diagnosed in females? Hmm, okay, so yeah, I'm going. Pointed back a little bit because I'm sure that there are a lot of parents. A lot of people who might be watching this, we're thinking well what are the signs? What are some of the things that caused your parents to say? Maybe we should get this checked out for me. I think it was an extreme sensitivity to noises. I remember lining up my toys as a child and playing in a very specific way. Having an imagination that really kind of took over everything. So in most children have interests in different things, but mine really kind of took over my life. I was very Into The Lion King at the time. And so I ate slept and breathed Lion King all the time even when it was maybe inappropriate.

2:37 Some of those were where the signs that something was a little bit different about me. I see, I see. Do you remember life before that to I know that you said that you, you know, had this habit of lining things up and needing it sounds like organization or this would you say obsessive, is that a right kind of clinic and even more ritualistic ritualistic? I see a lot of rituals that you would Go through in order to feel comfortable or it would be something that you were just involved in because you felt a little bit more panicky or a little bit concerned if things weren't that way. Yeah, I think it's just like it brought a sense of order because children by nature don't have very much Independence and very much control over their environments.

3:18 And so, I think sometimes that's where we see that play out in autism. Is, you know, if you're not able to control a lot of the things that happen to you in, on top of that you are really, really distressed by Dick table changes sometimes lining things up or behaving, in a way that appears ritualistic, can bring some comfort in a sense of control. Hmm, got it. So now you are proud advocate for the fact that getting a diagnosis, is a luxury that many people don't have access to. So, what steps do you think can be taken to help the world become an environment where getting diagnosed is more accessible? I think it really, it starts with awareness in places, like, you know, the United States were very lucky to have several awareness. Pains were very lucky to have access to the internet and all that goes with that.

4:03 But there are a lot of places in the world that don't have those tools yet and don't have those resources. And so there's much to be done, still with more awareness and I think that is how we can grow for it to be more accessible to other people. Absolutely. On Tick-Tock you've posted videos on how you carry fidgets with you religiously. Are there other products or gadgets or services that help make living with conditions easier for you? Oh absolutely headphones. An earplug It's a sensory swing. I have small plastic drawers to organize my snack. So I always know, you know, what's where and so that I'm not getting confused or distracted. I just I know where it is. And what to expect. I've used a phone holder just because I have described.

4:44 Yes, it makes my hands week so I've used a thing to hold my phone, believe it or not, the iPhone 12 is actually really heavy. Your hands aren't very strong. I've used gym memberships to help with ADHD. There's a lot of research that ties exercise to ADHD. Treatment and supports the, that it is effective. And then the, the other thing I do is I do dog training classes with a dog training mentor, and it's just, it kind of keeps me accountable. Be able to engage in my hobbies as well as my work fascinating. Now, you mentioned something that I'm not familiar with a sensory swing. Is that what you, what you said? What is that? It's people make jokes about it sometimes, but I've literally got a swing kind of like. You might see at a playground but it's mounted on the ceiling in my room.

5:26 Okay. And so when you get on that, is it for balance it? Provides a lot of sensory input. So, a lot of people on the Spectrum can find that back-and-forth motion to be really soothing. And so, that's usually what I use it for fascinating. Thank you for letting me know that I love learning new things. Now, you mentioned, many times that individuals often believe that high functioning autism means easy autism. So, how do you dismantle that misconception? I think, when people say high functioning autism, they mean somebody whose language able to somebody who is able to Stand a lot of language in someone who's able to produce a lot of language. And I think when people have average communication abilities, who, you know, have the normal or average amount of language that you might expect them to, for their age. Other people might experience their autism as mild, but that's rarely how they experience their autism. So it might be easy for people on the outside, but if you're the one experiencing it, oftentimes you might not label your experiences.

6:23 Easy, mmm. Very good point. Are there any other things that people usually get wrong about autism? Some that you would like to address. Absolutely. I think you know, lacking in empathy is one big misconception that's out there that autistic people, maybe don't feel the full range of human emotions or don't experience empathy for others which is untrue. What is true? Is they might have deficits in perspective taking. So if I don't understand your thoughts or your feelings it doesn't mean I don't care about them, I don't know about them and those two things are very different. The other thing that kind of goes with some autism misconceptions would be giftedness a lot of I do believe that people diagnosed with autism often present with this, gifted ability, these high IQs who are, you know, mathematical savants. And the fact is that most autistic people do not have giftedness.

7:12 They do not have a gift at IQ. It does happen in autistic people but it is not the majority hmm. I've also heard a lot of people say well my child is autistic and so therefore he can't lie. He's always telling the truth and he'll always be straightforward and direct you think that that is also a miss Conception or is it based upon some sort of truth? That's a great question. I think that is true for some individuals and it is not true for others. I think largely that one tends to be more true actually than others, but it can be untrue for some individuals. Mmm. Okay. So definitely can't make a blanket statement about everybody from that front. So now you are a therapist working with autistic children. Was this a career path that you would always wanted to follow?

7:56 No definitely not. If you had asked me as a child Before high school, I would have said I'm going to be a dog trainer and if you ask me in elementary school, I would have said I'm going to be a lion so now it's not exactly what I imagined but in high school I got an internship actually with the organization that I'm employed by because I went here for high school. So while I was there receiving Services they had you know, given me an opportunity to work in a preschool classroom for part of my day just as an internship and I learned that I really liked working with children and that I was really good with children. And from there I was able to Kind of focus my studies on working towards becoming a behavior technician. And after I graduated, I was able to receive the training and was hired by the same company that I actually went to school at. So, it's really cool.

8:41 What a great Testament to the organization to the school for having you. Number one, go through the process of education and then turning around and being an educator yourself. I think that's fantastic. Yeah, definitely. Now, on Facebook, you have a group known as kailyn's autistic angle, which is an Conduit for parents professionals and autistic individuals. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? Yeah, so I created the page just to have a resource that is consistently putting out a mix of both factual information as well as personal perspectives from autistic people such as myself and many others. I think there's a lot of pages that may be exclusively, post research or exclusively post personal opinions, and people really seem kind of divided in which one they prefer. And so I wanted to have a place that shares both to keep both sides of the audience engaged.

9:30 Mmm. Wonderful. Now we along with the rest of the world's adore love on the Spectrum. So how is your experience filming the show? It was, it was great. It's nothing. It's like nothing you've ever experienced before. I have never had experience on any sort of TV show and so I really wasn't sure what to expect and it's hard to describe, but I was kind of surprised when they showed up at my door. Like I did several Zoom interviews and they I knew they were coming but a part of me just didn't really That it was real, I guess. And so, when they finally did show up, I was a little bit surprised quite honestly, but it was, it was a good experience. It was really fun where there any moments that you'd like to share the but like of the behind the scenes that you found were amusing or something that.

10:14 Wow, this was, you know, a very interesting experience that I would have never have expected in my entire life. Yeah, so their microphones are actually really sound sensitive, which is not a thing. You would think about if you didn't know, which is funny because I am very sound sensitive and so So the camera crew, which is comprised of everybody who is neurotypical, became very sound sensitive because they had to look out for the sounds that was that the microphone is picking up. So every time a loud truck would drive by or even the sound of our air conditioner. I actually had to turn the air conditioner off briefly so that they could film a couple of shots just because the microphones were so sensitive and it's just something you wouldn't have ever thought about. Now you've said that you gained thousands of followers overnight after love on the Spectrum premiered.

10:56 So how does it now feel to have a platform that allows you? Educate others on autism. It feels great. Honestly, I think firstly I'm thankful to have such wide-reaching platforms that give me a voice just because I think it's a privilege. Not everybody has to be able to share their thoughts and feelings. And more importantly, to share information with people. I think a lot of other people, probably have a lot of information that they would like to disperse as well, but maybe don't have the audience that I do. So I'm definitely thankful to have that and I'm also excited about ability to put out my unique perspective. I really enjoyed that. You have any other advice for people who are diagnosed with autism who might be struggling with any facets of their lives? My advice would be to seek out resources and supports for the specific areas that they struggle with but also remember to celebrate and pursue your strengths autistic people. Not unlike everybody else.

11:46 Tend to thrive when we're able to pursue our interests and passions, that's an incredible answer. I actually wrote a book called The Adventures of super Captain Brave, man, a spectrum of love, and it's to help children younger children. And it's a picture book, learn about autism, and then also help them be aware of some of the signs and symptoms. And what I did was I broke it down into the colors of the spectrum because to me, autism is quite broad, isn't it? It's like there are people who are on the Spectrum who are extremely high functioning and then others who, you know, really have a bit more consideration needed in terms of their ability to speak in terms of their ability to be interacting socially with others, Etc. And So, I broke the Spectrum down into sections, where people who were read were very much perhaps at this place where they were very involved in motor skills and organization. And then there were those who were, for example, orange were more creative, people who were yellow, that might have been more involved in music, others that were green, who were more interested in nature and being outside. And in the outdoors, we got to Violet which was more Those children who were in sir, poetry and learning and language, and then blew who were children, who might be more interested in science and technology and things like that. And certainly, that's maybe a very basic level because it is for children.

13:13 I didn't want to get too too involved in a lot of the behavioral things. But to me it just helps to give some appreciation for the wide variety of people who live on the Spectrum. Do you have any Tips or tools that you use at project Hope Foundation that helped for children or adults to identify with specific aspects of autism. Yeah so I personally have disclosed my diagnosis to several of my clients just as a means of connection and I have encountered that they are actually really surprised like really surprised more than I might have expected. I really like being able to share that with them I think right now project hope is in the process of developing some more I guess streamlined to And resources for everybody to be able to access because I think right now we do it just on an individual basis. You know, how are we going to support this specific individual with this specific type of information? But I think we're trying to shift towards having more resources available to more people. Yeah.

14:15 One other thing that I've become aware of two is that when coming across anybody who is neurodivergent disabled, Etc. It's very important to recognize and remember that they are people and they deserve love and they deserve respect. Pecked and they deserve patience and kindness just like you would hope for in your own life. And I have a sense that there comes to be the societal or medical desire to fix and to, you know, whether that be medication or whether that be appropriateness of behavior, Etc. When really leaning into a person's Tendencies and typicality is may actually be the best thing for them because they might feel liberated to just be themselves.

14:59 Are there things that project hope recommends. As far as just advice to parents and Educators as to how to really allow people who are autistic to shine and to just be themselves, I think we do a lot of teaching to people's strengths so if they're interested in one particular area, we Embrace that and we run with it with them, we provide them, the tools and resources that they naturally gravitate towards. I think we work really hard to provide exposure Two kids. So if they're particularly interested in theater will you know, help you get set up with a theater and provide supports necessary to be able to access those things? Which, I guess, as I said earlier, if we are pursuing and leaning into our passions, I think that is how we flourish. Mmm, absolutely.

15:46 I totally agree with that and so what are some of your passions now. Do you still love The Lion King? You Don't Want to Be Alive anymore. I think I appreciate the Lion King on a more healthy level that I did when I was a child. Right now, I am really passionate about my work. I'm really passionate about dogs, and dog training. And those two things really take up my entire Focus. All the time. Wonderful. Do you have pets of your own? Yeah, I have a black lab, beautiful. Beautiful. I used to have two yellow labs and a black lab. And now I've kind of migrated towards smaller dogs little Chihuahuas and things like that. A little bit easier for me to carry and bring along with me if I knew. Email.

16:33 Well Kalin it was an absolute Delight to meet with you today. I'm so glad to have you on the show. Thank you so much for being a role model to those who are on the Spectrum. I will put all of your information in the show notes so that people know about project hope and where to find you. Thank you.