Episode 19: Clarissa Burt - How To Enrich Your Self Esteem

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Hello, beautiful humans.
Welcome to role models.

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Juicy conversations with
beautiful humans.

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I'm Jennifer Norman founder of
the human Beauty movement and

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your host.
Today, we're going to talk about

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self-esteem to kick things off.
I'm delighted to introduce you

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to my special guest from The
Royal order of Cappadocia.

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This is Dame, Clarissa Burt.
Hello.

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Well, it's love.
Yes, I've just recently been

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knighted, which is very sweet of
you to mention and that was

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about a month ago up in Las
Vegas at the Venetian and it was

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a it was a real honor to be
knighted and become a part of

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such an important organization
that does help women and

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children and Men slay, all over
the world.

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So more importantly is the
mission than the title for sure.

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For sure.
Now, Clarissa, I have to start

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off by saying that you are the
constant multi-hyphenate human

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being you are Are the founder
and the CEO of in the Limelight

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media, you're a media
personality, producer director

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writer author, public speaker,
former supermodel winner of the

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celebrity survivors show is that
right after get we squeeze that

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in there.
Chicka wow wow.

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What a repertoire you have and
so I would love to just Dive

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Right In and talk to you about
self-esteem.

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Why did this become such an
important topic for your like?

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Well, you know, as even as a
young girl, I was able to start

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seeing a trend that you will and
it kind of bothered me that I'm

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Christine on my perception of so
many people.

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Especially women was so
completely different than how

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they were.
You know, perceiving a living on

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sell their lives and they
started kind of my mom.

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And so, Mom was, I don't take my
picture.

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I come off horribly and pictures
and she always thought she had

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to lose weight.
She didn't, she was a gorgeous

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woman and my grandmother again.
Beautiful woman.

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I need to lose weight and
usually, you don't need to lose

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weight.
She was perfect the way.

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She, what?
Believe me when I tell you not a

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now, Did she need to lose takes
to diet pills, one day she

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chokes on them.
Perforates her esophagus wind up

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in the hospital for six weeks
and I'm at work that was kind of

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silly you know that was kind of
silly and you know and they

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weren't as I was growing up,
especially during you know, my

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modeling years, you know, I'm
really I mean I am in the one

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percent of the women of the top
models and supermodels around

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the world and the 80s and some
of the most beautiful creatures

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you'd ever want to see.
And I, you know, it was evident

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that some of them had issues
whether it be Toxic

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relationships or drug and
alcohol abuse or maybe, you

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know, a direct Sia binging.
We didn't know about a lot about

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it back then, but enough to know
that, you know, they were having

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some difficulties and that may
be a little bit, you know, more

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some happy healthy self-esteem.
Might have helped that,

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certainly we all have
backgrounds and, you know, we

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never really knew back then we
didn't talk about it that much,

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especially in the 80s.
Like, what was your background,

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what kind of household did you
have any never knew if a girl

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had been sexually abused.
So, you know, trafficking wasn't

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even a word yet.
No, I'm so these are the kinds

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of gals that again.
Some of them that I took a look

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at and wanted to know cuz like,
wow she looks like, she's got

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everything going for her.
Why is she doing X Y & Z?

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So a common denominator became
self esteem or the lack thereof

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and I just bothered me.
So I just wanted to kind of

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shake everybody and go can't you
see how amazing you are?

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And you know, and so I wanted to
become cheerleader if you will.

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I wanted to be the raw session
for women that are not seeing

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themselves.
Not Not perceiving themselves

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that are not living their
fullest potential.

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And that's where the book
really.

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That's where it starts.
Hmm.

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Now you did just mention your
book which I would love for you

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to share a little bit about
because this is the best-selling

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book called The self esteem
regime.

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So can you tell us a little bit
of the highlights of what's

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inside the book and what people
can expect that I can?

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So first of all, when I got the
book and you can see there's

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three different colors of blue
there so that these are they

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were it was orange pink and
yellow.

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So, obviously it was really for
a feminine died and I sent it

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back to them and I said, would
you mind just doing it three

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different iterations of blue
because I also wanted to include

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men.
Let's not forget that, it's not

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just women that how or girls
that have these issues.

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Certainly men are right there
with us.

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They are Partners along the way.
This thing we call life and they

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have as many issues as we do and
they should be addressed.

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So I wanted to catch the May lie
with this book as well.

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And it is also, it was
co-written by Gary Krebs, so You

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know, we kind of partnered up,
great, great.

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By the way, great literary
agent, you know, with that

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having been said the book starts
with release.

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So the idea of, you know, the
things we know, we have to let

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go of the things we have to
unlearn, what have we learned in

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the naval trod.
What exactly did serve us so

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what didn't serve us and do we
have the courage to move

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forward?
Because as we do, and we start

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stepping in our own truth, we're
going to inevitably hurt some

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feelings.
Some people are going to be

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offended.
Some people are going to get

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their nose out of joint.
Some They're want to know why,

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you know, these are the kind I
often say just love them where

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they're at.
Don't make an issue of it.

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Don't try to, you know, try to
get too deep into explanations

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belly, explain yourself.
But love everyone were there at

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the next step.
Obviously is Faith.

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You've got your family fate.
What?

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If you are a believer in any
faith, what is in the faith that

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worked for you?
What was in your truth?

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And was there anything that they
were teaching you?

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That maybe just didn't resonate
so well, and I'm not saying I go

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against the good books.
I'm just saying, what resonated,

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what serves, what can you take
on and what can you embellish

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upon friends?
You know, your friends as well?

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You're certainly, there's a
there's a type of indoctrination

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if you will in your friendship
site circles and certainly with

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your educated process, so your
colleges universities, what does

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it mean?
You learn their, what is it?

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You know, again with friends and
your peer groups.

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What is it that worked?
And what didn't?

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This is where you start forming,
and you start your path and you

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said you're leaving home as
you're leaving, colleges, and

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you're going out into the world,
on your own, on your own.

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But so, you know, I really
wanted the book to be able to

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speak to all different ages,
certainly men and women and to

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be able to address the problems
that self-esteem bring and what

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is it?
We can do to better ourselves

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along the way.
What kind of work do we have to

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do?
Yeah.

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I love that and I am so curious.
Like, when somebody is feeling

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low self-esteem, it can manifest
in certain ways and some people

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that it can climb up and be very
shy and fearful and just like

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nervous or feel ashamed of
themselves and not present

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themselves.
But and then on the other flip

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side, as you mentioned, I mean
supermodels, a lot of them have

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low sales.
Even it's like how in the world

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is it?
Like it doesn't it seem to make

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sense on the surface but I can
imagine that a lot of the people

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that you were with had these
issues.

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And they just I've never felt
good enough and it's because of

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the messages that they do, you
need to lose five pounds or

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you've got a zit or, you know,
always pointing out the negative

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rather than enhancing on the
positive.

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And so, there are certainly a
lot of people who seem like

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they're in these positions of
power or seem that like, they

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have it all and they are
crippled inside like really

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paralyzed inside and it's just
such a fascinating phenomenon

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and it happens for so many
reasons, it is, it happens to so

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many reasons that it is
fascinating and obviously,

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everybody's path is different.
You know, as individual as we

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all are but we know we want to
make sure that you want to.

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First things we do when we catch
ourselves is really catch.

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First of all self-esteem 101.
Never compare yourself to anyone

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else and I say this all the way
to be right now.

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Whatever.
Yeah.

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But no.
But wait, you probably do that

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and you probably do it more
frequently than you admit and

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certainly social and social
media hasn't helped us at all.

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And, you know, I offer that, you
know, you are so lucky because

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you get to be You, you know, you
get to BU, you get to create the

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life that you might refer get
Susie Q and, you know, and

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Johnny O'Toole.
It doesn't matter what you know

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what, then be them.
Let them have their own paths,

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you do, you know you do?
What is important to you, what

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is your truth.
And, you know, I will often say

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this and that is that no matter
what, divine Universe Source,

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whatever you want to call, it
doesn't matter whatever you

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decide works for you knew
exactly what they were doing and

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they created shoe.
You're in no position to be

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second-guessing.
Your creator.

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No matter who you think that is,
you aren't really you're not in

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that position because they are
the all knowing they know so

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much more than we will ever
know.

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And so at that point I would say
sit back, relax, take it all in,

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be the best person.
You can possibly be at for

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yourself and for others.
And if you can do that, I think

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you've got self-esteem you know,
in the bag.

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Yeah those are great for steps.
Are there other steps that you

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have in your regimen of helping
to build people's self-esteem

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up?
Yeah.

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One of the first things that
built, you know, we release we

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let go of What wood is, you
know, we've been taught all of

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that last bit was trapped that I
really love a lot and I bring in

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a personal note to that is
reciprocity.

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So reciprocal is the last
chapter.

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It is also, you know, a law,
it's one of the universal laws

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of reciprocity and, you know,
I'm one of those kind of people

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like a lot of us women.
Especially we do do and go go go

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and we're always taking care of
and I, everybody else comes

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first and all the rest of that.
Something one day, I remember

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saying dang it, if I could just
get somebody to help me every

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once in a while, that would be
something along those lines.

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I'm probably being a real jerk
saying but I said it anyway and

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and the person in the room with
me sick, you know, clear?

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Sup it's really hard to get to
you?

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People would like to, they want
to but, you know, from the

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outside for us, it looks like
have it all, do it all, you

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know, it all you'll be at all,
like, you are so capable and so

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it and I stopped and I thought
about that for a second and I

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thought about how many times
now, if someone gives me a

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compliment certainly, I know how
to accept that way.

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You know, he's just You're going
Glory, but many other times if

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there was somebody that wanted
to do something, maybe I didn't

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catch to that in a moment or I
didn't see it as such.

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So take some deep breaths and
realize that people around you

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deserve to give to you and you
deserve to receive from them and

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vice versa.
Mmm.

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That's so he, what do you think
that the ultimate goal is in

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terms of?
What do you feel when you feel

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like you've got like, oh I'm
nailing self-esteem does anybody

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nail it?
But like what Like knowing like

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hey I'm a pretty healthy
self-esteem.

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Yeah.
Well yeah, absolutely.

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I mean, you work on your
self-esteem, you build your

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self-esteem.
You want to hold onto.

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Happy healthy self-esteem and
you want to continue that

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because I say that because
there's not a self-esteem at the

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test to take, you know, you take
it.

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You get 100 on your good for
life, doesn't work that way.

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I wish it did, but it doesn't so
life being life is going to do

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what life does and that is
triggered you somewhere along

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the line.
Something's going to go awry,

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it's going to go wrong, it's
going to go sideways, it's going

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to be a relationship.
It's going to be a car.

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Our accident, you know,
whatever.

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Whatever eat.
He's I mean bumper accident.

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Why don't wish, you know,
obviously, I think that on

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anyone but that's life, isn't
it?

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You never know what kind of day
you're going to have, when you

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wake up in the morning.
So as the storms are brewing in

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the tornado is coming through.
And, you know, all of these

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things are happening.
When I make sure that you're

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stressed and you have the tools
and the resources that keep you

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standing strong in your stead.
And that means to be well rooted

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so that when the storm comes
through, Maybe a, we lose a leaf

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or two.
You could even lose a branch,

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but you will not be uprooted and
transporting the way with the

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storm, right?
You'll have those tools in the

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shed and again, all per site.
My book is a great book, but

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personal growth section and
Barnes & Noble.

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I have lived in the personal
growth and self-help section my

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entire life.
I never read a biography of

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fiction, a science picture, I
never anything else but

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self-esteem or self-help.
For self-awareness and

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self-confidence, kind of gross.
And so this is really a great

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compilation of those of my life
because I was like experiences.

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And also we have different case
studies or 12 different case,

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studies of different women.
In here, we've got the Clarion

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call, Clarissa's corner, there
are affirmations, there's

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homework, there's review.
There's all kinds of things that

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when you read this book, now,
Jennifer, you're going to get

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something out of it the first
time, right?

252
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You definitely going to get a
lot out of it.

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Yeah.
Did you do the work?

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And if you do the work and I
add, you will do the work.

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It's going to be uncomfortable
and you need courage.

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You must bring courage to the
table, to be able to do the

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work.
And I'm not trying to scare

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anyone off.
I'm trying to bring you in and

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00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,100
say, think of how exciting this
work.

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I want to call to Playbook.
Let's call The Playbook, it's a

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workbook Playbook.
But the idea that you're going

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to be able to be such a bigger
better Bolder and brighter

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person on the other side of this
book is so exciting.

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To me, I've had People save me
Christians.

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Focus changed my life, you know?
And that's extraordinary to me

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that I just couldn't have asked
for anything greater and then

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you'll read the book again and
six seven months, and you'll get

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something completely different
out of it because you weren't

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ready for that message today,
you're going to be writing the

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universe.
No Source knows, Divine knows.

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God knows, Buddha knows,
whatever you decide works for

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you.
They know when you're ready for

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the message, but you have to
start putting the work in to get

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the process started.
Exactly.

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I liken it to just like thinking
of it as fun thinking of it as

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something new, something new to
learn and practice.

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It's not that you can ever
really get it wrong.

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It's just like every single day,
you learn you adopt and

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assimilate something.
You try it on like a new pair of

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shoes and see how it fits.
And really kind of step into

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small bits of improvement every
single day, so that you are a

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better person tomorrow than you
were yesterday.

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All that life really is.
It's really, you know, you know,

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Joker, it's the smallest things.
Yeah, sometimes it's from been

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reminding yourself to drink,
those extra, two glasses of

286
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water.
You know?

287
00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:06,600
You're supposed to be doing for
a day because that's what, you

288
00:14:06,608 --> 00:14:09,200
know, you dye it says you're
supposed to be the little things

289
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,000
that you're taking care of your
health because the four pillars

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00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,100
are look good.
Feel good be going greater good.

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So looking good.
We know when we look good, you

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00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,300
know what that means is
subjective?

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00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:21,000
And when we're looking good, we
have a little extra lilt in our

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step, you know, we have front
our day differently, we're able

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00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,800
to, you know, get on stage with
more confidence.

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That's a brings confidence.
I look good.

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00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:32,800
Feel good is Diet exercise and
nutrition and so you know that

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00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,400
it all works as one, we've got
to keep that body you know,

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00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,300
Tip-Top shape, especially
entrepreneurs and solopreneurs

300
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,600
because if you go down it all
goes down.

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00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:44,600
If you drop it all tumbles down
on top of you and there is a

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00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:48,900
Forbes article that came out and
says that entrepreneurs are

303
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:53,100
entrepreneurs are more apt to
have depression then those that

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00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,700
work in companies who are
corporate.

305
00:14:55,300 --> 00:15:00,400
So you must Must must be taken
care of your head and your body

306
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,100
look.
Good feel good, bebu it is, you

307
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:06,000
know, you are finances, your
relationships, your what else,

308
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:10,200
what you're reading, what you're
listening to the be good part

309
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,200
of.
Where is it?

310
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:14,500
That you are really being good
or you're remembering silly face

311
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:18,300
somebody's birthday, you know,
to bring a gift along for

312
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:22,300
whatever, you know, being really
good being present wherever you

313
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:24,500
are, whatever you're doing.
And then greater good is nothing

314
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:27,700
more than paying it forward.
You know, giving That tithing

315
00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:30,000
volunteering.
There's nothing that will make

316
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,700
you feel better, it's like
self-esteem, you know, speed,

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00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,600
you know, like right away is
when you are doing something

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00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,200
good for somebody else, we all
know that.

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00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,200
So the idea that you're doing
something good for somebody

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00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,000
else, makes you feel pretty darn
good because you saw how good it

321
00:15:44,008 --> 00:15:47,000
made them feel exactly.
Exactly.

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00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,500
I know at the very beginning you
were saying, like rule number

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00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:52,600
one don't compare, which is an
extremely extremely difficult

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00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:57,000
thing to do, especially when you
do have other media, which Which

325
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:02,100
is intended to be absorbed, and
to be infiltrative, how much of

326
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:05,200
this do you think, is the
responsibility of society or

327
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,200
Media or advertisers, or
what-have-you versus

328
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:10,500
individuals?
If not going to change?

329
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,400
I don't think that's going to
change.

330
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,100
I think what will change and
should change is how you

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00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:18,100
receiving it.
It's all perception, you know,

332
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,300
like when we throw, what you,
what you can handle.

333
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:23,200
And you only going to accept
what, you know, you can handle

334
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,200
you the rest of it.
You need to let go of your not

335
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,300
going to be Going to be people
that are going to have more than

336
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:31,500
us in less than this.
It's kind of one of those you

337
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:35,400
know realities of life and you
know the wanting to be like

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00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,800
somebody else.
Just be you, you know, like

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00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,300
really one of you even have
mentors.

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00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:41,200
That's wonderful.
And certainly people that you

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00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,500
emulate.
I think that's fine.

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00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:45,400
I love, you know, I would love
to have been Oprah and have had

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00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,900
her her calf say, you know, her
impact on the world.

344
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:51,700
I'm working on it in my own way
and I think I'm doing just fine

345
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:54,600
but I'm not on Oprah's Pat.
She's got a completely different

346
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,900
path and and you know I thought
I multi Media platforms, just

347
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,700
like she does, but it's
different and it's okay.

348
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,300
And I'm still proud of the work
that I do and how I, especially,

349
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:07,200
you know, I helped many women,
I've got a mastermind and I, you

350
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,700
know, we've got a masterminds 12
sessions, and the book is 12

351
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:12,900
chapters, and we merged the two.
So, whereas before, it was a

352
00:17:12,908 --> 00:17:15,900
business Mastermind, now is a
business of personal Mastermind

353
00:17:16,099 --> 00:17:19,200
and there are very few
masterminds that do that, where

354
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,700
they'll take the time to say,
you know, we've had a couple of

355
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:25,599
million coming Jennifer and I'll
say girls I need a little extra

356
00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:30,100
prayer this week because My son
tried to commit suicide or one

357
00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:31,800
down came.
And said, we just discovered

358
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,800
that my husband has stage 4
prostate, cancer were, these are

359
00:17:35,808 --> 00:17:38,600
the kinds of things that
normally at this is functions or

360
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,400
business.
Mastermind, you don't bring to

361
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,500
the table, you don't bring that
to the for.

362
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,500
Whereas, here in my Mastermind,
we, you know, we rally around

363
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,800
you, we call you afterwards.
We make sure you're getting

364
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,500
support during the, you know,
the entire time and it's a

365
00:17:51,508 --> 00:17:54,400
different kind of vibe.
It's a different kind of feeling

366
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,700
and this is what I, you know,
you had said before about

367
00:17:56,900 --> 00:18:00,800
Heartfelt and you know, living
you know with a service kind of

368
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:07,800
heart, it's not talk, it's do.
And so yeah, that's what we love

369
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,200
doing around here.
Yeah, I love the idea of finding

370
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,100
cues.
It's like, if you are self aware

371
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,600
enough, to be able to notice how
you are feeling.

372
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:20,000
So if you see somebody that, you
know, perhaps the tenancy being

373
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,100
took a.
But if you see somebody and your

374
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:25,500
initial reaction is jealousy or
resentment, then you know that

375
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:28,800
there's work to do.
Your initial reaction is gosh,

376
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,000
that is so inspiring.
I love that.

377
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,200
You know, that's something that
I want to see what I, you know,

378
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,800
how much of that I can call my
own and help me in my own

379
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:39,400
progress towards, what I want to
see and be and manifest in my

380
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,700
own life.
Then yeah, we're getting

381
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:42,600
somewhere.
Right?

382
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,600
What's the vibration isn't it?
It's very likely or jealousy is

383
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,600
at a very low vibrational
energy.

384
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,000
So when you're doing something
good for you and when you're

385
00:18:50,008 --> 00:18:52,900
starting to do, you know really
good things for everyone else,

386
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:55,500
for the community for those
around you you start that he

387
00:18:55,508 --> 00:18:56,700
said, what do they say?
What's this?

388
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,900
Brother, you know, Rising tide
raises All Ships or something

389
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:02,100
along those lines.
So you know, this is and the

390
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:05,500
more you do that the more, you
know, more benevolence you

391
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:08,500
attract.
So, you know, there is nothing

392
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:12,700
that she's doing that, you can't
do, you can do it differently,

393
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:16,200
you can do it better, you know,
you can either give up or you

394
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,600
can give it all you got, right?
There's only a few different

395
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,000
ways you can go.
But why not?

396
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,800
Why not try the different ways?
Because don't want to be her.

397
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:28,100
You haven't been in her shoes.
You have Walked a mile in them

398
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,000
and you don't know what the true
story is.

399
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:34,400
So you know if we can all just
be happy for one another and

400
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,200
really support one another
really truly support one

401
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,200
another.
Here's another thing that I love

402
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:43,100
to say and that is loyalty is
when you have my back behind my

403
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:47,000
back.
So if you're at the water cooler

404
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,800
and everybody's thrashing, Susie
Q, are you going to become, you

405
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,700
know, part of that, you know,
the frenzy of the tribal frenzy

406
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:55,800
and jump pile on that?
Or are you going to say?

407
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,800
You know what girls I know Susie
Q and who you're describing is

408
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,300
not how I know her, you know,
and walk away and we'll that a

409
00:20:03,308 --> 00:20:05,400
margin it you from the crowd,
okay?

410
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,100
But you know, there's something
else that I coined and it's

411
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:12,800
called I want to live high.
That is I want to live in honor.

412
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:17,500
I want to live in Integrity.
I want to live in honesty and I

413
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:20,200
want to live in a sari gratitude
and I screwed that up.

414
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,200
So, honesty, Integrity,
gratitude and honor.

415
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,800
There you go.
You know, the acronym is high.

416
00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:28,800
And if you can live in Go
honesty with yourself and with

417
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,200
others, if you can live in
Integrity, which means who are

418
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,900
you?
Where no one else is in the

419
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,800
room.
If you live in gratitude, and, I

420
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,700
mean really gratitude, you know,
I mean you have a crappy day,

421
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:42,700
okay, you know, Grant bitch.
Moan complain, got it.

422
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,800
But, you know, what are the five
top things?

423
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,800
I've got a roof over my head, I
got food in the pantry.

424
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,300
I've got people that love me,
I've got my health and about,

425
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:51,600
you know, great friends, I mean,
boom.

426
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,500
I mean, most people in the
world, be happy with just those

427
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:56,200
five.
I could go on with another 20

428
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,800
things.
That I'm grateful for and I

429
00:20:58,808 --> 00:21:01,100
think that we all need to stay
Mindful and what that really

430
00:21:01,100 --> 00:21:04,600
helps the vibrational levels of
stay high at a higher level and

431
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,800
then it with honor, I want to be
a woman.

432
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,900
It is with honor all the time.
And that means honoring myself

433
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:14,700
an honoring you and, you know,
we all miss the Mark, we are not

434
00:21:14,700 --> 00:21:18,800
perfect.
If you can aspire to that, then

435
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,000
there's 80 percent of of
self-esteem game right there.

436
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,500
And you also talked about the
power of the benefit of support

437
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:26,700
groups, and so surrounding
yourself.

438
00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:30,700
Self with people who are going
to live in that high place with

439
00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:34,200
you and each other like just
supporting lifting each other up

440
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,800
on their Journeys is a very
special thing.

441
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:39,100
What we don't get to choose our
family.

442
00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:41,700
Not that you know a lot of
people have put on more families

443
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:44,700
and that's a wonderful thing.
Other people are not selective,

444
00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:47,500
you know, they don't have
support systems that they can

445
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:51,900
turn around to or go back to
work, call up every day and

446
00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:56,500
don't have that.
So you get to choose your own.

447
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,800
Make your own, find your own.
And then, you know, I think I've

448
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,800
already talked about 12th
chapter being reciprocity and

449
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,500
that is given take.
So, when you find that group,

450
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:07,500
when you find that, you might
only find people by than a

451
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,400
lifetime.
Because we, as you know, when

452
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,900
you heard it before, some people
come in for a reason, others, a

453
00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:15,300
season and other is a lifetime.
Those are the people that you

454
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:18,400
really want to nurture.
Always everyone.

455
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,800
You want to nurture everyone all
the time, but the ones that are

456
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,300
your ride or dies, the ones that
are the three o'clock in the

457
00:22:23,308 --> 00:22:25,900
morning, phone calls, you know.
No questions asked.

458
00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:28,700
I mean, no questions.
You jump in a car and you go, if

459
00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:31,500
somebody needs you, I don't mean
you're helping very dead bodies,

460
00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:34,500
I'm making, you know, your
there's a legitimate reason.

461
00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:37,700
The people that, you know, the
people that, you know, you can

462
00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:41,500
count on and that they can count
on, you are the people that you

463
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,100
will be acquiring during your
lifetime.

464
00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:46,800
Hmm.
And that really gets to the

465
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,100
point of unconditional
friendship or unconditional love

466
00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:53,000
because there's a lot of people
that you'll recognize it when

467
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,500
they say, they'll be there for
you.

468
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,400
They're not necessarily there
for you.

469
00:22:56,700 --> 00:22:58,900
They might not be the ones that
you would consider in your

470
00:22:58,900 --> 00:23:01,700
support Circle, right?
Yeah, I know, you know, again,

471
00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:04,200
you don't want to cut everybody
out because you'd be one lonely

472
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,800
world.
If we don't, we're waiting for

473
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,500
everybody around this to be so
perfect.

474
00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:11,100
But, you know, you want to get
to a point where you are no

475
00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:14,200
longer triggered.
Because you are again standing,

476
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,700
so strong in your stead, with
your tools and your resources,

477
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:21,300
and your happy healthy
self-esteem, that you can still

478
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,700
interact with all of these
people but you're going to learn

479
00:23:23,700 --> 00:23:25,500
how to love them, where they're
at.

480
00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:27,500
Mmm.
Knowing that they're on a

481
00:23:27,508 --> 00:23:31,200
different path knowing that your
vibrational energy might be, you

482
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,800
know, higher than theirs.
Give them a moment, give them

483
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,000
the time given that, you know,
let them do their work and

484
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,300
maybe, you know, tend to hand
sometimes, you know, like maybe

485
00:23:40,300 --> 00:23:43,200
you can help pull them up.
I know that I've been pulled up.

486
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:47,200
So, you know, we're constantly
again reciprocating giving and

487
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,400
taking.
Yeah, you talk about mirror

488
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,100
therapy.
Can you tell me a little bit

489
00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:54,000
about?
Well, what your practice is and

490
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,600
how you would advise other
people to practice me.

491
00:23:56,700 --> 00:23:59,400
Everything absolutely will
mirror therapy is nothing that I

492
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,100
invented.
The first I'd heard about it was

493
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:03,800
Marie Louise.
Hays her Works came out with me

494
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,500
or therapy and might have been
done before.

495
00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:07,600
It could have been done, I think
was even Neville Goddard, it

496
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:11,100
started with me or therapy and
Jack Canfield, has used it.

497
00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:13,900
Many different people have used
mirror therapy and that is when

498
00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:16,900
you talk to you looks weird.
It feels weird.

499
00:24:16,900 --> 00:24:19,200
It sounds weird.
You'll get used to it, but bring

500
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,600
tissues because you're going to
be able to talk to yourself the

501
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:26,600
way with love with ease with
joy.

502
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,800
Glory and telling yourself.
And when you look at yourself

503
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:32,600
and you say these things, it's
going right into your soul and

504
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:36,500
you cannot sidestep this.
And when you're saying to

505
00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:38,900
yourself, I love you.
You're phenomenal.

506
00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:41,000
Your spectacular.
You are so smart.

507
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,300
You are so kind.
You are so good.

508
00:24:43,300 --> 00:24:45,600
You are so giving.
And then you say to yourself,

509
00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:49,000
and I'm sorry, I'm sorry for the
time that I let you down.

510
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,300
I'm sorry for the time that I
didn't stand up for you.

511
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,200
I'm sorry.
For the time that I didn't

512
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,100
offend you, I'm sorry for the
hurt that I've caused you.

513
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,900
You start to have these kinds of
conversations with yourself.

514
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,600
You know again it feels weird,
it really does.

515
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,600
But if you can stand there and
say, I love you, kind of just

516
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,600
love you.
You are one spectacular.

517
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:14,000
Human being people tell me that,
I think that's really nice when

518
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,400
they do and it just makes me
feel warm all over and I try to

519
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:21,500
do that as much as I can with
others, but there's nothing

520
00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:24,500
wrong, in fact.
Absolutely nothing wrong with

521
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:28,100
you telling yourself, and that's
What I invite everyone to do.

522
00:25:28,900 --> 00:25:32,000
That's so fascinating because I
think that a lot of people can't

523
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,500
get over that hurdle of feeling
like a narcissist, when they do

524
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:38,900
something like that is our
gorgeous isn't narcissism, and

525
00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:40,300
healthy.
Self-esteem are two different

526
00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:42,400
things.
Narcissism is the lack of

527
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,600
self-esteem, first of all, and
it's a false sense of self.

528
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:51,600
Okay, happy healthy self-esteem
is the complete opposite so it's

529
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,700
okay to love yourself.
You should be loving yourself.

530
00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:55,600
You should be loving yourself
more than you love.

531
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,800
Anybody else because Just like
they say on the plane, put your

532
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:03,000
oxygen mask on first and then
think of everyone else and I

533
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,100
think you should be madly in
love with yourself.

534
00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:07,900
Here's another one that I love
to leave everybody with Jennifer

535
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:12,400
and that is, I am enough.
I am enough, you are enough, we

536
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,000
are enough, everybody's enough
and when you look up the

537
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:19,900
definition of enough it says
only as much as is required.

538
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:22,900
Are you think about that for a
second?

539
00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:25,200
You think about when you're
talking to your subconscious,

540
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,400
when you think about what you're
telling your subconscious right

541
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,300
now, you say I'm enough.
Well, God, that kind of balls, a

542
00:26:31,308 --> 00:26:35,400
little flat, but when you say to
yourself, I am so much more than

543
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,700
enough.
Oh, man, my so much more than

544
00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:40,800
enough.
It has a different vibe.

545
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,900
It's a different ring.
It's a whole different.

546
00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:46,000
You know, level, it's such a
huge weight.

547
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,300
You just Elevate yourself to
whole different level.

548
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,100
When you say, I am so much.
Much more than enough.

549
00:26:51,100 --> 00:26:53,800
Because enough is what's enough?
It's not enough.

550
00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:58,200
Absolutely, I'd love to shift
gears for a moment because

551
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,600
certainly you've been able to
have quite a lot of

552
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,000
accomplishments, over the course
of your career, and you've

553
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,300
started your own company.
And I think that a lot of people

554
00:27:06,300 --> 00:27:10,000
get a lot of inspiration from
women who have found a certain

555
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,900
level of success and have been
able to find fulfillment and

556
00:27:12,900 --> 00:27:15,700
what they do, can you tell us
about your journey that was on

557
00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:19,000
every major runway in the world?
Every I mean you name the

558
00:27:19,008 --> 00:27:21,800
designer I was on there Right.
And that was really an exciting

559
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,800
time and I came home with about
250 magazine covers.

560
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,400
I had my own counter at
Bloomingdales for a very poor

561
00:27:28,408 --> 00:27:31,900
about 10 years, because I was
the face for or Lane Cosmetics,

562
00:27:32,100 --> 00:27:34,100
which was a French, you know, a
company.

563
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,400
And so, my modeling career was
amazing.

564
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,100
It was really really great, but
again, it was, I didn't think I

565
00:27:39,100 --> 00:27:43,800
could, but I tried and I did and
then, you know, I screwed it up.

566
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,700
You know, I wasn't ready.
Unsub took a step back gathered

567
00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:51,200
myself took a deep breath.
Both tried it again and it

568
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,000
really went well, the second
time.

569
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,400
Hmm.
So you sometimes I guess the,

570
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,000
you know, the message there and
self-esteem is it's okay if it

571
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,300
doesn't, you know, fail.
He was another lovely acronym,

572
00:28:02,300 --> 00:28:06,600
that I absolutely love and that
is fail is your first attempt in

573
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:10,100
learning.
So it's okay to fail Family.

574
00:28:10,100 --> 00:28:11,400
Just means you're that much
closer.

575
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,800
Say do it all the time and
don't, you know, make a habit of

576
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,800
it, but if you can, you know,
that failure is normal is going

577
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,000
to happen and time.
You do fail, you that much.

578
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,200
Sir to the end goal which is
Success.

579
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:27,000
So, yeah, and then later on, you
got into media.

580
00:28:27,300 --> 00:28:29,800
Yeah, I did.
So I started, well, I was Mary

581
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,800
Poppins in the kindergarten play
and they, you know, I was told

582
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,900
that I was vaccinated with a
phonograph needle.

583
00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:39,900
So I guess I was to talk or way
back when I knew when I was Mary

584
00:28:39,900 --> 00:28:42,300
Poppins and the kindergarten
play and I sang

585
00:28:42,300 --> 00:28:46,900
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
and I got pictures of that too.

586
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:51,100
And I got my first Applause.
And I was hooked.

587
00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:53,800
Oh my God, it was hoped.
I knew that I was going to be on

588
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,100
stage in some way shape, or form
for the rest of my life, where

589
00:28:56,100 --> 00:28:58,000
there was a stage in a
microphone, that's why I wanted

590
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,900
to be.
And, you know, it took a little

591
00:28:59,900 --> 00:29:02,900
bit longer, didn't say, I didn't
really start start until about

592
00:29:02,900 --> 00:29:06,200
30 31 on Italian television.
Hmm.

593
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:08,900
But ever since then, you know, I
lived in Italy for 30 years.

594
00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:12,500
So I did I worked on television
there but it was.

595
00:29:12,500 --> 00:29:15,500
So it's been a microphone in
some way shape or form, you

596
00:29:15,500 --> 00:29:18,000
know.
So and I'm also with that.

597
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,000
So the communicative process,
you know, for real

598
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,800
Communications.
And then being really passionate

599
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:26,000
about the position and condition
of women around the world.

600
00:29:26,100 --> 00:29:30,100
And then, you know, so you know,
Ergo the book self-esteem

601
00:29:30,100 --> 00:29:32,800
wanting to see women, you know,
believe in themselves up their

602
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,900
game.
You know, pick themselves up

603
00:29:34,900 --> 00:29:39,100
dust themselves off, never look
back and, you know, if it hurts,

604
00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:40,900
it isn't love.
I'll throw that in there too.

605
00:29:41,300 --> 00:29:44,600
And that's because I also
collaborate with domestic

606
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,700
shelters dot-org.
So women that are in abusive

607
00:29:47,700 --> 00:29:50,900
situations needs as I said, get
up, move on and ever, look back.

608
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,400
And there's plenty of help out
here for you.

609
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,800
And I know it's hard and I know
it's scary and there's all kinds

610
00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,700
of help out here.
If you look for it, you want to

611
00:29:58,708 --> 00:30:00,300
get out of that situation, it's
there.

612
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,000
I think that that's so
fascinating to, and it ties in

613
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,300
so perfectly to self-esteem.
Because I think that there's a

614
00:30:05,308 --> 00:30:09,800
lot of relationships, which are
built upon codependency, and

615
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:11,800
then they've been toxicity.
Yeah.

616
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,600
And then you lose yourself
because you feel that you can't

617
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:18,000
be yourself without that other
person, but you're not yourself

618
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,700
with that person.
It's a perfectly.

619
00:30:20,700 --> 00:30:23,600
Well, that's beautifully said
perfectly said you're not

620
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,300
yourself with that person.
That is so, right, it's so true.

621
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,000
Good on you.
I'm gonna have to use that.

622
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,600
I like that but it's pretty.
Yeah.

623
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,500
And absolutely right.
This is my mission.

624
00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:36,400
This is my movement and that is
to make sure women everywhere.

625
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,400
And there are women all over the
world doing this kind of work

626
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:39,700
and I don't think there are
enough of us.

627
00:30:39,700 --> 00:30:42,500
And on there should be many more
of us and that is to really,

628
00:30:42,500 --> 00:30:45,300
really be lighting each other's
candle and adjusting each

629
00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:47,300
other's crowns.
You know, if it gets a little

630
00:30:47,300 --> 00:30:49,900
crooked you know, you just
you're there.

631
00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:52,100
Or just there for them.
And that's what I want to do.

632
00:30:52,300 --> 00:30:54,200
And that's what I'm also
creating with the women's Global

633
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,000
events.
So I'll make sure I'm, you know

634
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,300
about that too and all your
listeners, okay?

635
00:30:59,300 --> 00:31:01,900
I'm Clara separate.
Your crown is shining brightly.

636
00:31:01,900 --> 00:31:06,400
My friend is and I thank you so
much for the work that you're

637
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:09,500
doing for the book that you
wrote for coming on this podcast

638
00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:11,700
and all the things.
All the things.

639
00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:13,900
Thank you very much for being a
beautiful human.

640
00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:15,700
Thank you.
Thanks.