Episode 22: Lolo Spencer - Sitting Pretty and Positive As An Actress With ALS

0:07 Hello, beautiful humans. Welcome to another episode of Role Models. She's the conversations with beautiful humans. I'm Jennifer Norman founder of the human Beauty movement and your host, this podcast thrives on your support. So if you like what you hear, follow us rate US review us share this episode with everyone, you know, across all of your networks there. There are a lot of misconceptions about disability and my next guest is here to tell her story and bust a ton of notes. The incomparable low Spencer is a film independent Spirit award nominated actress a model, a public speaker and a social media content creator.

0:48 She currently stars as Jocelyn in HBO Max's. Sex lives of college girls executive-produced by Mindy Kaling and she has a YouTube channel where she showcases the On such points of what her life experiences are. As a person with a disability while in high school Lola received a diagnosis of ALS more on that later. But despite using a wheelchair for her Mobility, she is not about the pity party and is all about sitting pretty. This is a Fearless gal, who lives her life. Does it with vibrant, SASS and style and shares a ton of inspiration with others. Welcome, Lolo. Oh my gosh, I was An amazing intro.

1:32 I can I steal that to use in another place. It smells deserved. I might add well deserved. Thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited for this conversation. Yeah. And OMG the glow up that you have had over the last few years. You've got to tell us all about your origin story. Yes, you know, I was born in Stockton, California. Ha ha. Right. That's the initial origin. My existence, start. In a town, fact in California, that's where I was born and raised. And, you know, I was really blessed to have like an amazing group of family and friends and life was always good for me, honestly, like I have no complaints, you know, we were definitely in the family that probably was living in a level of poverty, but never knew it just because we had so much fun and joy and laughter. Laughter in our home.

2:31 You know, you don't realize it may be until you're like a teenager and you're like, wait a minute, why are we eating the same thing for two weeks straight, you know, those kind of things but my family is full of love, you know, I have a younger brother and an older sister mom, stepdad and we just had a good time growing up. That is amazing. Amazing. So now when you were 14, you started to feel a bit of fatigue. Again, a little bit of hardship with moving, can you tell us about how that was and you were in high school, right? Yeah. So I was freshman in high school. Well, I really started to feel some slight differences more towards the end of my eighth grade year because it was so long ago, but it's and of my eighth grade year because, you know, I used to, like, play street hockey that was one of the activities at our school and, like dodgeball and tetherball and all These things.

3:30 So I was pretty active. I wouldn't call myself an athlete. It was just one of the things, we'll, all the homies are playing over here. So, let me go play with them to kind of thing. And then I started noticing the fatigue. So, as we started going into high school, I started to feel it more. Because I was like, walking around campus, all on my own this time. And obviously, a high school campus is much larger than a middle school campus. And that's when I started noticing that. And then It was one night, the memory that sticks out the most is one night, I was well, making my plate for dinner, which was one of the things. My mom was all that, y'all make your own plates, so go in the kitchen and I reached up in the cabinet for a plate and my whole arm dropped to the counter, but I didn't drop the plate.

4:22 So I was kind of confused because I was like I felt my whole like like my whole body just like went this way. And I was like, but I did drop the plate. Like what just happened? Like, I was like, really kind of confused and up until recently, when I was working on my book, I had a, you know, referred to my mom for a lot of my memories during that time because I was a teenager, I had my brain was all over the place and she said that one day I came to her and I said, Mom, I can't jump as high as I used to. I don't know what's going on and that kind of triggered her to be like, okay, well, Let's start going to these doctors offices. And then, from there, we went on a journey for at least a year, maybe a little over a year of going doctor to doctor this specialist that Specialists, even to the point, where it started to feel abnormal. Because I was like, why are we seeing another doctor? Like a part of me was like, I'm not tripping because I don't have to go to class today, but the other part of me started to feel like, okay, well, Well what what are we doing now? Mom?

5:32 Like okay, but again, not being able to go to class rained more important to me at that time. So I was like, cool. We're going to have 0 and I get to eat off campus events. It's a thing, another doctor's office for sure, Mom. Glad to come with you and then we finally landed at UCSF ALS Center. And then, that's when I got my diagnosis, my mom was the one who told me at home From there, it just kind of been a journey ever since, what was your reaction when you did get that diagnosis? To be honest, I didn't have really a reaction only because I was the only person, and even then the word and term disability wasn't even used in the conversation.

6:22 So, I didn't know anybody with a disability, there was nobody in my family with the disability. They, you know, so, My mom was telling me that it's a condition where your muscles will weaken over time. And all this other stuff, I was kind of like, okay, like it didn't even trigger to me like the severity of the condition that doctors were trying to say that I had at that time and I really just attributed to being a teenager and be like I don't care what you talking about my mom trying to go back and watch 106 & Park. You're going to make me miss, what the number one video is this week. This conversation, I'm not comprehending. And yeah, so that was really my reaction. I wanted to go back and watch TV cuz I was like, okay, cool, mom, whatever you say.

7:14 And so did you find that over the course of years? Your muscle started to weaken a little bit. At what point did you find that you needed to have some assistance with walking and whatnot. So it was still freshman year of high school, right? Because I had Noticed like my legs were getting tired and all these different symptoms. And so, then that's when it was recommended for me to use afos to help lift my feet. So I didn't trip over it and then we started making certain accommodations they don't know. Afos are like these Orthopedic booties. There would like boots. My son actually has teeth. He's growing and so, we have Stacks and stacks of afos because he's been growing, but yeah, they are these supportive boots that you kind of strap.

7:59 On and help your ankle stay in a specific position and they're helpful for walking. Yes. Exactly. And at the time, I didn't know that's what they were called. So I just called them a Forrest Gump legs like, because that was the only reference I had right is to, you know, I'm not gonna marry like force. Go like the show like, who cares? But yeah. And so that's when I started using afos and then certain accommodations at my high school or made thankfully, because my guidance counselor, Was incredibly supportive. Shout out to mr. Bradbury. He was incredibly incredibly supportive because again with this whole conversation my mom none of us knowing what any of this means, never going through this process. You know, my God is counselor, he was just like, okay, so would you want Lauren to start going to the classes with other students with disabilities and everything else? And they would ask me and I was like, no, I want to be where my friends are at, you know?

8:59 Again, being 14, not really having the understanding of why the classes were even separated to begin with or anything like that. You know. I think I probably would have made a different decision. Had, I known, right? But I was like, no, I want to be with where all my friends are at. I don't want to be separated and so my guidance counselor, we found Solutions, he was like, okay, well then Lauren, we're going to allow you to show up to your classes, you know, an extra 10 minutes late because we know it. Owing to take you a little longer. We'll assign one of your friends to walk, you arm-in-arm to class. And so those were kind of some of the accommodations that were made. Now of course, because I was 14 that little 10-minute leeway, I might have took in a little bit more time to eat at lunch and it made it to fit period when I made it to fit period.

9:52 But it was one of those things, right? Where it was those accommodations were made this. Port was there? The school nurse would give me a ride home because I couldn't drive. We didn't know what that would take to drive. So I was like, I don't want to drive, so those kind of accommodations were made at that time, amazing. And it sounds like with your family and with everybody at school, like this was not a doom and gloom sentence seemed like, okay, this is what's going on. This is how we're going to deal with it and we're going to give you the support that you need when possible to be able to assist you so that you can continue living your Life in the most productive way. Exactly. And honestly, it's because of that Foundation that I feel like has been able to attribute to my success as an adult. When I did end up leaving the house and moving away from my hometown like that training, that Foundation, that advocacy, that I knew, when I went to college, what to ask for, what my needs were and to not budge until I got it. Yeah.

10:59 You said that like your mom was a little nervous about you moving away from home, but you were like, know if I'm going to live I'm gonna live and I'm gonna do this right? You, 100%, And granted for good reason. My mom had to be nervous, right? Because I was only 19 at the time and up until that point, I had always lived at home with my mom. My mom was the one who took care of me. You know, it was down to the point where I was like, oh, I'm actually going to have to go to a nail salon to keep my Nails together because my mom always did my nails for me, those like, she's single mom at this point or did when she remarried, well, she wasn't necessarily remarry, but my brother's father was there.

11:43 And so, there was always that support. But my mom, my mom is one of those. She is a mom's mom. Like she is a mama bear. Don't you mess with her Cubs? Don't you come close to trying to mess with her Cubs. You guys know To this day and all three of us are incredibly like my brother's 28. We are grown grown. But my mom, if we're like, yo, mom, we need help with this Mom, something happened that she is Full Throttle. Yeah, so independent and so it didn't really develop in an unhealthy codependency. It seems like, even despite her being there for you, she let you live your life. Yeah, exactly.

12:28 And I think a big part Part of it, you know, especially for me is because she saw that desire in me. She knew I wanted it, she knew so she was like, okay I can't keep her under the roof much longer, otherwise she's probably going to start rebelling. And I was at that point where I was going to be like, Mama, go help me or I'm going to find a way to help myself. So, you know, we had that discussion and my mom is one of those people to like, I would love to support you but you have to make it make sense to her. So I had to prove to her that I was serious about it. So every day when she would come home from work I would have printouts of all these different apartments that are already pre called and figure this out and bad out how close was it to this, how close was it? That and all those different things and shoulder. Look mom, here are all the places that I can live? Here are the schools that I can transfer to. Like I'm serious about this.

13:29 And so So we came up with the plan and made it happen. Yeah. And for you, it's always been about your ability, not about your disability and you've even started putting yourself out there on videos on YouTube, you have your channel, which is Lola sitting pretty. Can you tell us what inspired you to all of a sudden starts creating this content that would help to inspire other people, truthfully? I started the channel because I was working, a job, the boss at that time. We ended up having this meeting one-on-one. And it was giving the energy of Mike Lauren. If you don't change how you work, you're not going to be here much longer. And I was so pissed because I was like, I was doing my job, I was meeting my deadlines but because I wasn't doing it. The way they wanted me to do it.

14:20 All of a sudden, you're going to take away my income, my independent, my health benefits. You are threatening me in. In a way that I don't even think you recognize how much of a threat that is for someone in my position. And so I was like, I don't ever want this to happen to me again and I didn't get fired, but it was just the threat alone made me be like, I'm not about to have this happen to me again. So me and my mom talked about it and was like, well, what can I do to start taking advantage of my own life and my own livelihood? And then I was like, well, I have a degree in video production, I heard that people are making crazy money off of YouTube.

15:09 Maybe I should start a YouTube channel and then it was like, well, what am I going to talk about? And I was like, well, maybe I'll just talk about living life as a wheelchair user. Again, the word disability didn't even cross my vocabulary at this time and I'm a grown-ass woman and so maybe I'll talk about being in a wheelchair. Everyone is so amazed by how I live Positively and go out and do this. Maybe I could start showing people that this is how you do it, and this is what it looks like and that it's possible. And so that's kind of where all the content started. Amazing. I remember back when I was going to Georgetown in my MBA class, there was an entrepreneur class and we had to break up into groups. And one of my group members was in a wheelchair, and she had to get around, all these Hills, all these things in her scooter, but I remember her, Badly.

16:00 Because she was saying, like, when she gets a class back, then, you know, East Coast. It was always raining and she get wet. And, so, we thought our group project for entrepreneurship was, can we come up with these concepts for wheelchair users that would help them in their comfort? So, it would be things like, you know, these umbrellas that would attach and back then there really wasn't that much stuff. And so we thought it was a pretty Innovative when we presented it, the people who were actually entrepreneurs and were actually going to be funding. And some of the projects were like. Yeah, that's a really cute idea. Good luck with that. It was really very patronizing, you know, they wanted the ones that were like oh there's a billion dollar industry and there's going to be all of this you know, payback when you guys get there was no opportunity, see, a market opportunity scene for people in wheelchairs.

16:50 And so it just shows you that in terms of just like business and it was an unspoken about area that almost was a little bit. Oh, I'm so sorry. You know. Yeah, nice idea but and now it's like the times have changed. It's so great. Being able to see people advocating for their needs. And for companies to finally be innovating. I mean, I know that you work with a lot of them which is so cool. Yeah. Thanks some really cool shit. I think that's like yeah, like evolution of the wheelchair over the past 25 years, samia's like, astounding amazing. Like even for myself like I started Using my wheelchair, when I was 19. And I moved to LA because I told myself, I was like, well, the first time I used a wheelchair, an electric wheelchair was grad night, Disneyland as a senior in high school because my nurse told me she was like, you're going to exhaust yourself if you stay in these braces trying to walk around Disneyland. So I was like, okay well what's my solution? And so she was like, well, we could get you an electric wheelchair and I was just like and of course, not knowing disability culture at all.

18:00 Well, ciao, know about that. Like, that's doing too much. Like I was like the way I internalized it at that time, was like, now, you're really trying to make me look like a person with a disability again. Not knowing anything about what it means to be disabled my own internalized ableism, right? So initials I will try it out. See how you like it first and then see if you want to do it. Girl, I got now wheelchair and saw how fast Fast. I could go far. I could go and I wasn't tired. I said, oh yeah, sure about this to me sooner like I just wasn't like, oh my gosh, this is the best thing ever a literally ever.

18:43 And so my whole mind shifted on what it meant to use a wheelchair. And so so that was the first time I used this, so at 19, when I moved to LA, it ended up becoming my main form of getting around. And so from And now I'm 35, you know, the evolution of the wheelchair and learning about the chairs that could like, the one that's actually in the background. That's the will Model F and that one collapses, but still an electric chair. So I still get my Independence. It collapses. It's no more than I think 45 or 50 pounds. You still relatively lightweight, I have friends, they throw it in.

19:29 They back seat of their cars, they put it in the trunk wherever it is, and we can go around. Now, I don't have to get pushed around and have to worry about all those things. So that wasn't there when I was 19 because my God if it was the places would have went with my friends to a whole other level of experience. So exactly what you're saying that evolution is real. And I think now people are starting to slowly Surely recognize the disabled Community as a viable Market income because entrepreneurship and business is motivated by the money. No matter how philanthropic the idea might be, if it's not making money, people aren't going to be interested in it. True, true.

20:17 And honestly, it is so nice to see the kinds of Innovations with my son, for example, you know, he continues to grow so he's probably had about five or six. Wheelchairs, the wheelchair that he has right now is Is like a sofa on Wheels. It's like, you know, look it's got customization because he has a very severe scoliosis curvature in his spine like 30 degrees and so they had to custom make and custom cut out the foam in his. See, the angles that it goes. It's not electric because he doesn't have the mobility to be able to maneuver a specific switch or anything like that himself. So we do still push him and they had to literally they jerry-rigged it so that they could put bicycle brakes on it.

20:58 Because his Wheelchairs didn't have brakes and so we'd go like down a hill on every like, you know, it's like, you know, like 100 pounds and you trying to like, you know, hold it back to go down and any amount of incline was frightening. So yeah, it was literally very, very customized. It was really like to me the heart and soul that people put into actually creating these two suit individuals and to make sure that they're comfortable is just, it's been really wonderful to see how things have come along. I love that I love Love to hear that and yeah, in a matter is, you know, I think the next big innovation for me that I've been you know considering and thinking about is now the aesthetic of these chairs right? Like yeah let's make them look real good looks like you don't know me I'm a fashion style.

21:45 Yeah. Yeah I'm a fashion style on the one fast, you know. So we were working on that next for sure. I mean I wanted to point out your shirt which says F stairs. Yeah. You know. Certainly, there are I have seen these new things that actually will go up and down stairs. They look frightening to me. But I was like, oh my God. That is so cool. But I also live in LA and there is quite a lot of accessibility in Allah. I guess that's when it comes to houses and we'll let can I tell you? When I have been on the home, search for me and my son, it brings me to tears. It absolutely brings me to tears because the stairs and the narrow hallways, especially Like the older like some of the newer homes. Yeah they've got the doors that are 30 32 inches wide, but hundreds and hundreds of houses.

22:37 I've had to try to go into and look for and it's just no, I walk in and I walk out I'm like nope. Nope, nope. No, like, they're there it's just would not work for him and it takes such a long time to find something that is just, right? Even with the amount of stuffs that's around. Its and so you know I'm just like for me and my advocacy is like whatever B's home. Builders Can do because, you know, obviously the Ada is in place for public places and for commercial buildings and things like that and apartment buildings but when it comes to homes, it's like do something about this. You know, I'm so glad you said that because that's always been one of the challenges living in l.a. independently is finding apartments that are accessible or housing, that's accessible because even though the Ada exist for, like you said commercials and apartments is of that, doesn't Mean that these people are following these rules. Yeah, condos no yeah the older Windows, no still Apartments. Like I was it takes forever.

23:41 When I need to move to find something that's accessible because there are certain levels of accessibility, right? Like, it may be accessible, like you could get in the building, but that's the only entrance and exit, right? So like in the event of an emergency, why is this the only way that I can get in? Now and technically I still can't even get out. Yeah, you know, that's a good thing. Yeah, with LA because we have so many earthquakes, the power is always going out and fun lives on life support. You know, he's got a ventilator that needs to be plugged in. It does have battery life on it, but when the power goes out, it is an emergency landing in a place with an elevator. I cannot carry him.

24:22 He's 16 years old. I cannot carry him down. Five flights of stairs. I can't even carry him down. One flight of stairs and so too. Find an apartment that's on our ground level, with an emergency exit, where I can get him out to a road, so that I can get him into a car so that we can plug it into the, you know, figure out later so that he can breathe. That's a big deal. The concern. It's a really big deal and people are not thinking about it enough, like they think, oh, just because there's an elevator, but it's like. And then what happens when the fire alarm goes off or like the power goes out, these are things that happen on a regular basis. So I'm just glad that I mentioned it because even for myself like I started thinking about, okay?

25:03 Home ownership but I'm like, am I going to have to get to a point where I'm waiting until I like I'm able to build something from the ground up or I have a lot of my time to renovate something and you know all these different things and so it's a lot to think about when it's like most people they just get to go in and out and be like I just don't like the wall. So I'm going to pick a different house and it's just like yeah, are you lucky for you ma'am? Yeah. I'm trying to make sure I could get to the fucking bathroom comfortably. Yes, yes and that's another thing too. It's like infant toilet is right in front of the bathtub. He's got a bath chair and we can't even get his bath chair in there and so it's like, you know, the I look in the bathroom and I'm like, nope, that's all well, that won't work either, you know, can't get up there in there. Can't get his baths are in there and that it stays probably 80% of the, of the places that I see if not for the fact that there's stairs or narrow hallways, or the doorways or too small. And you know what's actually interesting In something that I've been noticing, because I like to, every once in a while, go to, like, open houses for like, these, like multimillion-dollar homes, like heavily Hills. I'm a dreamer.

26:16 Let me get, let me see the energy of this, right? A majority of the homes that I visited, ironically enough with unbeknownst to them. Maybe the only thing that wasn't Accessible was maybe like the entrance, right? Maybe there's like one or two steps or something like that. I always go with friends. So we make it work. But those homes are majority accessible, which is interesting because see the thing is about the rich and Technology, right? The way we view, accessibility is how they View convenience. So, how do I turn on my shower? Let me get the shower.

27:00 We warmed up while I'm still down stairs. Let me get the remote. Yeah right. Let me get the smart app. How do I load the dishwasher? Oh let me just tap it and it opens up automatically. How do I like all of these different things? So it's like y'all aren't even realizing. This is all accessibility was then lets me know accessibility Isn't the problem. It's the attitude around making it accessible. That's the problem or super rich can afford it or only the super rich can afford it because it's not that you don't know how to make it accessible.

27:48 Y'all know the technology it takes to make it accessible but it's only accessible to the rich because you guys have thought of it in a way of a privilege of Audience versus a need for accessibility. Only difference between the two is the attitude. It's not really the money. Yeah, not really infrastructure. It's literally the attitude and that was one of the biggest things that I noticed. When I go to these, these multimillion-dollar homes got elevators in them. Yeah, he threw ones too. So if you're claustrophobic, you can at least see through the glass and hopefully that lessens the anxiety of it. But it's like, how is there an elevator in this house?

28:30 But we're I went to this apartment building. That has 50 units, there's no - yeah, you know, I don't go to those open houses just on a whim, but I do scroll Tick-Tock and boy those places in Dubai and Singapore. I like, yeah, you're right. Some of them are like amazing to see all of the different gadgets that people have in their homes over there. Exactly, it's incredible to win. Is it's incredible to witness open floor plans. In homes that don't even have doors on them sometimes because they just want to and I'm like you guys have no idea. Yeah, disability that mass speaking of accessibility you have been a model for some really great brands have been thinking about accessibility and adaptation as well.

29:20 Can you give a shout out to some of your favorites? Well, I mean of course got a give a shout-out to Tommy Hilfiger adaptive, I love them. As they introduced me to adapt of clothing for sure, you know, is the Adaptive is another one based out of I think, is he is in Canada. She's faced out of Canada designer but she makes adaptive clothing as well. Her pants were the first adapted pants that I tried and then I saw that Tommy Hilfiger had an adoptive mom and I was like, what is this? Where did this come from? So those as far as like fashion, have definitely been talk to your kids.

30:01 I just want to give a shout out to Target cat and Jack they have amazing kids adaptive clothing that my son loves exactly. Exactly. And so, they are definitely like the to that stick out in my head right now. As far as I captive clothing and you have an amazing stylist who I have to say, I just love what she puts you in. Can give a little bit of love for her. Of course we always give Stephanie Thomas, her, flowers. Fashion Stylist has been for over 25 years, she specializes in dressing people with disabilities. She's come up with her own dressing system that allows people with disabilities to dress themselves with dignity and pride independent. She's come up with this system because we know adaptive fashion isn't the norm yet, right?

30:51 So her system allows you to be able to go to any clothing store and know how to shop for yourself for your Body type for your needs in a way that allows you to still be stylish. Allows you to still dress with the brands that you want to dress with and continue to just build your own style from there. So, Stephanie Thomas is a living legend. She's incredible. And she changed my entire sense of style on a personal level and professional. I love that and I love that. She's also very much into sustainability. She'll take you to Goodwill and it's not that you have, yes. We're trying to find these things. You can find them anywhere. Anywhere anywhere. As long as you have the tools, you can find your clothes anywhere.

31:35 Yeah, let's talk about your acting. Oh my goodness, you Liberty. I saw the trailer for that recently and I'm like, I was in tears just like that. You were nominated for a an independent Spirit film award. I believe for that, right? And now, you are also playing Jocelyn on the sex lives of college. Girls by Mindy Kaling. Can you tell me a little bit about that? Well, well, Sex Lies is it is Juicy Juicy conversations. That is Juicy. Yeah, Sex Lies is a wonderful show, but no, it's a great show.

32:17 It's full of laughs full of Comedy. I just love playing Jocelyn. You know, Mindy and Justin Noble, who's our showrunner have really, really done a great job at developing, A character with a disability where we are only learning about her personality and her humanity and they take real risks with her character and really just making her. The one that the main four girls go to, to know, where the parties are at it. She is their go-to person for anything like advice. You know how to talk to the guys or whatever it is that they're treating myself out, yeah, or the ladies Like Joseline is their go-to girl, right, and you've just never seen that on TV.

33:08 Yeah. You've never seen it on TV and it's just such a fun show. It's so funny. It is very groans, very adult, you know, and we're talking about real things that the girls go through. So for my character to just be a supporting person in their lives and Growth in college, it's been amazing. And so, you know, Season 2 is coming and bigger and better. Yeah, I was reading when trying to cast for the role and then they came across you, they were like, oh no, we're done. We don't need to look at anybody else for this role because you are Jocelyn and Russia. Like, yeah.

33:50 Like, it's like you happen to be in a wheelchair. You happened to he said but you are totally totally, you know, out there you are. Totally very very much I'm a person that just lives for life you know with fearlessness and fierceness. So exactly exactly. And so season 2 is going to be bigger better and Boulder. That's for sure amazing. I'll get ready for sleep. I am so excited but I know that there is much more inclusivity nowadays in entertain you, but how are you feeling about the current state and are you thinking, like, there's still more that can be done? Or it's definitely. There's definitely so much more that can be done. I do feel like there is a shift happening, which I'm grateful for, but, of course. Yeah, so much more can be done, you know? There's so many more lively characters that can be created. There's so much creativity to still be done around. Round actors with disabilities and playing Just roles that don't necessarily have to be called out for disability. But if there is a role specifically that encompasses a person with the disability, then don't shy away from their existence, their Humanity in the personality, you do not have to create a character that one is surrounded. The Crux of the story is about their disability or to make the character.

35:13 All far to the left that it's not about their disability, that is unrealistic as well if that makes sense, right? Because I've come across some projects, you know it's part of the process being an actor right? Where you know there's always that dialogue or that monologue of like I'm not my disability and I do what I want it doesn't that you don't have, you don't even have to say that. Yeah find you hard, we don't have to do any of that. Like you don't have. To prove that this character is not solely. Just identifying with their disability. Like this character is just a character. Like, that's all we have to do is just make it about the person, the character and their Humanity. Yeah, I think the first time I had come across, that was Glee actually with Ryan Murphy and it was just like, yeah, there's the boy in the wheelchair.

36:04 There's the girl with downs but it was never an apology. It was just like their characters and they play a role just like everybody else does. And that's life. Let's it doesn't need to Tensions are called out or singled out, or any of that, which I think is really a very classy way of doing it. And one that you know, does showcase, anybody who may be neurodivergent or have a physical differentiation? It brings back the humanity. Just like this might be what I am, just like my eye color, just like my skin tone, just like any other difference. It's just, I am me and this is how I operate. Exactly. It's just that simple, it does not need to be this whole Whole inspiration moment.

36:44 You know, like I've always said even about my own content, like, I never created content with the intention to inspire. Hmm, if it happens to inspire you wonderful. I love that. Thank you, I'm glad firing. Yeah, you're just sharing. I'm literally just sharing my experiences. I literally don't brainstorm me, like, how am I going to inspire the world today? I don't fuck if I Inspire anybody, honestly, I'm just trying to share to show that it's possible. I loved your most recent real where you were. Like, okay. Now you don't have to pray for me. No. Not maybe somebody you don't, you don't remember me.

37:25 Yeah. Like that's one of those things that people get mixed up to was like you assume that the toughest thing in our life is our disability and inside know it might simply be because I'm like I can't figure out what I want to eat today and this is really pissing me off. What about for the people who are still living in that mindset, though? I mean obviously you come across them all the time. I'm sure. Yeah. Like what can they do to get out of that? What I would call it, I hate to say this because I know that with compassion, I just want to use the word pity party, but I say it with love. I, it's just like, you know, you don't have to feel sorry for yourself, and nobody else has to feel.

38:05 Sorry for you either. Exactly. Yeah, but if there are things that we need to do in order to be aware and make life more convenient, so that we Are an accessible environment then. Yeah, that's different. That's different that I'm getting pretty. Right. Exactly. And I think you exactly touched on that right? Is like, you know, you have to if you are the particular person with a disability and you seem to have a challenge breaking out of feeling, sorry for yourself and feel down for each other. I've had real conversations with some people, I always tell people first, I get it, I can understand it, I can empathize. Ties with it, but also just know that it's a process to also, get to where I'm at as well, right? Don't expect yourself to go from feeling like you were saying kind of like in that pity party world. And then tomorrow, you're just all of a sudden going to be the most proud of who you are as a person with a disability, doesn't have that way.

39:04 It's an everyday process. There's things that still trigger me that pissed me off that. I'm like, see if I wasn't in a wheelchair just whenever like, you know, so we have to be Full of these things but understand one that is a process but to the way I look at it is doesn't make you feel good to be in that pity party. Are you happy being there? Yeah. Does it make you joyful? You people like being around you when you're there, do you have fun in that space? If all of those answers are no, do whatever you think is going to give you the opposite feeling. Oh my God! Yes yes yes. Yes, disability or not. Any human being.

39:47 Those are your criteria. Exactly your criteria. Does it make you happy? Do you like yourself for being that way? Do people like being around you? It does it fill you with joy? If not change yourself, change the game, change it. And that change can be as simple as today. I'm going to do something that I want to do that change could be, you know, when people like oh well you know, I'm Which are user. I don't know how to get around, Google it, find the answer, do whatever you think you can do, you know, ask people that love you, if you have a support system, you know, if there's a family member that's talking to you a certain way and you don't like it, it's okay to say hey Auntie Uncle brother sister cousin. Mama.

40:35 Daddy because it's it's a lot mamas and daddies too. Yeah. Mama daddy. You know what I'd really appreciate. Date. If y'all don't talk to me like that. Yeah, there is a certain level of asking for help because you truly need it. And then there's a certain amount of enabling there's a certain amount of codependency that you might be triggering in your family dynamic, or with your friends that causes you to not do enough for yourself when you really can. If you just if you just put the effort into that self-reliance, to the point where you feel that you are capable. Yeah. Otherwise ask for help when you need it, figure it out when you can exactly that. And no. That it's not going to be easy. Yeah. You're going to have to fight to the frustration of finding those Solutions, but the solutions are out there. There's something out there.

41:23 It may be minimal, mmm, but it is out there, you know, and I just encourage. And even if for whatever reason, at the end of the day, if there isn't like a specific, I'm just using Transportation as an example. Maybe there isn't a transportation service. I can help you right, maybe there. Isn't someone that can support you in that way, or whatever the case is, then find those other ways that make you feel joyful to wear. Maybe it'll drum up your creativity, to find a different type of solution. And even if that solution as I can we move. Hmm. Can we, you know, don't limit yourself to think like, oh this is the only way that it's done and since I can't do it, it's the only way and it's just like no other worlds out there. Let it if you explore it.

42:15 Exactly, exactly, that exactly. That and sometimes it's just a mood shift, watch a movie, eat something you like, yeah, you know, those kind of simple things. I'm huge on affirmations, I'm huge on vision boards, all of that kind of stuff. I mean, I know that I can go on a tangent on that all day long. I don't be another episode for sure. That's another episode. Yes. What do you have coming up? You've said that, you've got a book that you've got in. The works. And you've got some more bad thing, I believe. Tell us what you got planned. Yes. Oh I just finished the manuscript for my book so it's still going to be a little while until it comes out. But I just finished writing my first book. This exercise season 2 is happening. It was just announced yesterday.

43:01 I have a voice acting supporting role in a new Disney. Junior animation called fire buds, premiering on September 21st. So look out for that, I voiced the character of Jazzy and she's the most adorable. Oh my gosh. I've seen the animation of her and I just I screamed I love my kitty with deal so that's happening, September 21st, what else? I'm launching a Lifestyle brand called live solo. It's a Lifestyle brand, dedicated to young adults with disabilities because very, similar to this entire conversation. People have always asked me, like, what are your Solutions? How did you do this?

43:50 How did you do that? So this is going to be my opportunity to share all of those different ways that I found hacks. You know, just in my own life. But also being able to bring in other people with disabilities into the brand to write blog posts about their hats and their solutions that they found based on their particular disability. So that'll be launching within the next few weeks. And yeah we're just going to keep growing. Keep moving. Keep. Oh and this is Lola. Spencer you are a treasure to behold. Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for being a role model whether you wanted to be or not. Not that part.

44:31 Yeah, I'm calling you a role model and we gotta do this again soon. Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you. So, so much had a great time. Thank you.