The Truth About Self-Care After 45: Perimenopause & Nervous System Shifts | Dr. Natalya Borakowski
In this episode, The Human Beauty Movement explores how self-care after 45 often stops working—not because we're doing it wrong, but because our biology and nervous system shift during perimenopause. With expert insight from Dr. Natalya Borakowski, the conversation encourages women to cultivate self-trust, compassion, and personalized routines rather than falling into relentless self-surveillance and optimization. Ultimately, midlife is framed not as a breakdown, but as an opportunity to recalibrate and come home to yourself with more softness, safety, and understanding.
This podcast episode is sponsored by*:
- Humanist Beauty - Beauty for your skin & soul, Humanist Beauty is clean, conscious, and cruelty-free. Learn more here → https://humanistbeauty.com/
- Opal Cool - Clinically tested cooling therapies designed for hot women at every life stage, and uniquely engineered to deliver precise cooling temperatures that offer safer, long-lasting, and effective cooling therapy solutions. Learn more here → https://opalcool.pxf.io/thehbm
- Organic India - Organic India is a Certified B Corp that offers organic teas & supplements formulated by traditional wisdom and modern science. They embrace organic regenerative agriculture, ethical fair trade partnerships & beneficial, inclusive social change. Learn more here → https://organicindiausa.sjv.io/thehbm
- Curious Elixirs - Curious Elixirs are booze-free craft cocktails infused with adaptogens to help you unwind. Inspired by classics like the Aperol Spritz, Spicy Margarita, and Negroni, every Curious Elixir is crafted with organic ingredients and no refined sugar. Learn more here → https://curiouselixirs.pxf.io/c/4794562/1059410/13600?adcampaigngroup=CE-Affiliate-2021
*The Human Beauty Movement may earn commissions from your support
Dr. Natalya's Links:
- Website https://unveilyou.life/
- https://www.instagram.com/unveilyou.life
- https://www.instagram.com/natalyaborakowski
- https://www.instagram.com/desertbloomskincare/
The Human Beauty Movement Links:
- Official Website https://thehumanbeautymovement.com
- YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@thehumanbeautymovement
- TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@thehumanbeautymovement
- Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thehumanbeautymovement
- Facebook https://www.facebook.com/thehumanbeautymovement
- Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/thehumanbeautymovement
- Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/thehumanbeautymovement
- LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-human-beauty-movement
Jennifer Norman Links:
- Lnk.Bio https://lnk.bio/iamjennnorman
- LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifernorman
- Instagram https://www.instagram.com/iamjennnorman
- TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@iamjennnorman
- YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@iamjennnorman
- Facebook https://www.facebook.com/iamjennnorman
- Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/iamjennnorman
- X/Twitter https://twitter.com/iamjennnorman
Thank you for being a Beautiful Human.
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,360
Hello beautiful humans.
OK, so let's talk about
2
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:06,600
something no one prepared us
for.
3
00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:10,240
You hit your 40s, you double
down on self-care, You eat
4
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:14,680
cleaner, move more, meditate,
upgrade your skin care and
5
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:19,440
somehow you feel more tired,
more irritated and more wired.
6
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,800
Why?
What if self-care after 45
7
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,120
doesn't fail because you're
doing it wrong, but because your
8
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:29,960
biology has changed?
Today I'm joined by Doctor
9
00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:34,840
Natalia Borakovsky, naturopathic
physician, founder of the Desert
10
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:38,400
Bloom Skin Care Clinic in
Scottsdale, AZ, and founder of
11
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:42,680
Unvalue, a platform exploring
the intersection of aging,
12
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,080
stress, self perception, and
biology.
13
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,960
With nearly two decades in
Women's Health and cosmetic
14
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,720
dermatology, she helps women
understand aging through
15
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:58,480
science, not fear, and through
nervous system regulation, not
16
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:02,520
relentless optimization.
In this conversation, we are
17
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:06,160
unpacking why self-care can
quietly turn into self
18
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:10,920
surveillance, how hormonal
shifts after 45 change the way
19
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:15,000
your body processes stress, and
what it actually looks like to
20
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:19,840
restore energy and feel at ease
in your skin again without
21
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,880
adding another task to your
list.
22
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:25,800
If what used to work isn't
working anymore, then this
23
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:29,080
episode may change the way you
see your body.
24
00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:32,400
Come on in and join us for the
conversation.
25
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:43,200
Doctor Natalia, welcome.
I'm so happy to be here,
26
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,640
Jennifer.
It's such a great opportunity to
27
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:51,680
talk about something that has
been beleaguering so many women
28
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:56,400
as they turn 40 and beyond.
So before we go anywhere, I want
29
00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:00,040
you to tell us, Doctor Natalia,
when women finish listening to
30
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,280
our conversation today, what do
you most hope that they
31
00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:08,400
understand about their bodies,
aging, and self-care after 45?
32
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:12,720
I think the most important thing
is to learn to trust yourself
33
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:17,200
and drop all these ideas that
you're doing something wrong.
34
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:21,200
Drop this kind of like a cookie
cutter recipe that work for your
35
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:25,240
sister or your girlfriend and
you, you, it doesn't have to be
36
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,000
perfect.
It can be messy.
37
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,480
Just do something for yourself
every day.
38
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,520
That's basically my main
message.
39
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:35,760
Love yourself and then just
allow yourself to evolve as
40
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:37,520
you're going through this
hormonal changes.
41
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,000
And we're certainly going to
talk about hormonal changes as
42
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:40,520
well.
Yeah.
43
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,520
This is so important because I
think so many women hit midlife
44
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,840
and think I must be doing
something wrong.
45
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,880
So from a biological standpoint,
what is actually happening in
46
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:54,360
the body after 45 that changes
the way that we experience
47
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,200
stress and energy?
Why do the things that we used
48
00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,880
to do that once worked, like
pushing through, optimizing,
49
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,800
doing more?
Why did they suddenly stop
50
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,520
working?
Well, yes, it's all goes through
51
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,680
our body really, going through
the major reconstruction, if you
52
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,480
will.
If the first reconstruction was
53
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,760
puberty, which hopefully none of
us really remember that well.
54
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,440
But if you have teenage
daughters, which I do, mine is
55
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,480
16, you kind of watching the
reconstruction happening in
56
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,960
front of you and being a
physician, you kind of like I'm
57
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,800
a privilege of understanding
what's going through her body.
58
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:30,320
So I take her little angry
spurts and craziness with a
59
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,520
little smile and like, OK, I get
it.
60
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,360
It's a brain and body
reconstruction because her
61
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,720
hormones changed.
She went through an innocent
62
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,960
girl until all of a sudden being
the young woman.
63
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,440
And the change is so rapid in
puberty.
64
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:46,320
Fortunately for us in our mid
40s, once we start going through
65
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:50,520
transition of perimenopause,
that process is far, far longer.
66
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:54,440
But it's a second puberty
essentially because first, your
67
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:58,240
ovaries very, very gradually
starts to shut down.
68
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,080
And it's a normal process.
And I know some women will
69
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,720
listen to me and they'll say,
well, if I am going to
70
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:06,840
perimenopause, maybe I should
look at the hormone replacement.
71
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,920
Those are great options, but
they're not always for everyone.
72
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,960
The most important thing, you
have to think that this
73
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,560
transition is natural and what
works again, for your sister,
74
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,200
your neighbor might not work for
you.
75
00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:22,520
So be open to possibilities and
not ultimately understand it's
76
00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:26,280
not just your body changes, it's
the way your brain completely
77
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:29,720
remodels because those hormones
very closely talk to your
78
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,960
neurotransmitters, mainly
dopamine and serotonin.
79
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,040
So if you have having this
irritability, forgetfulness,
80
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:40,560
brain fog, all of that is kind
of fun for the ride and just
81
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:44,280
again, take it with a little
smile and just be a little bit
82
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:47,600
more gentle to yourself.
And as your ovaries going
83
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:51,160
through that permanent vacation
if you will, then your adrenal
84
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,680
glands, which really often
misunderstood and not really
85
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,560
talk about the medical
community.
86
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,760
There are tiny little almond
shaped glands that sit on top of
87
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,520
your kidneys.
They become your main hormone
88
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,280
producers.
It's important why the stress
89
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:08,880
fits in here and why we don't
really cover that stress anymore
90
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,000
because one of the major
hormones you adrenal glands
91
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,920
produce every single day called
cortisol.
92
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,120
Cortisol gets a bad rap because
when people hear cortisol, they
93
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,600
think stress.
And yes, it is a hormone of
94
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:25,200
stress, but it's also wonderful
natural cup of coffee in the
95
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,080
morning.
That's a hormone that wakes you
96
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,440
up if you remember yourself as a
child or if you're looking at
97
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,720
children like age of 0, five to
seven before the school, stress
98
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,840
and all that, how they would get
out of the bed.
99
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,120
They're so excited, they don't
need coffee.
100
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,160
They're just ready to charge the
day.
101
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,400
And by afternoon they're ready
for a nap.
102
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,520
Because in normal humans,
cortisol is super high in the
103
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,240
mornings and then by the
afternoon, it's about half of
104
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,400
the amount.
Once the sun goes down, your
105
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:55,280
cortisol should be at zero and
at this opposite or opposite
106
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:58,720
hormone, which cause melatonin
starts to get secret in your
107
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,400
brain and then you sleep like a
baby.
108
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:04,320
And that's a normal stress
response to canine rhythm as we
109
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,480
age.
First, we live in the 21st
110
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,680
century surrounded by artificial
light.
111
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,360
Most of us do not have that
normal circadian grief and
112
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,760
normal cortisol sufficient.
And if we put stress on top of
113
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,720
it, when you have to have those
surges of cortisol throughout
114
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,560
the day.
And for us, we're dealing with
115
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,040
chronic stress.
You know, all the pressures that
116
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,120
all the hats the most women
wear, you know, being the mother
117
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:30,120
and then working and being also
wife and the sister and the
118
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:34,520
caregiver and all those things.
All that pressure at the extra
119
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,440
drain in your adrenals.
And then now when they're taking
120
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:41,360
responsibility to be a major
hormone producers, all the other
121
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,080
hormones kind of getting
overlooked.
122
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,880
And then no matter how much you
rest, you're just starting to
123
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,480
feel dreadful and unfortunately
start to look dreadful.
124
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:52,640
So what I'm hearing you say is
that it's not a matter of
125
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,720
willpower.
When we get to adulthood, we're
126
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,520
used to go, go going, especially
women.
127
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,680
We do so much.
But it's not that we are getting
128
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,880
lazy or that our bodies are
necessarily failing us.
129
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:07,840
This is an natural life cycle,
this is a natural part of life
130
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:11,560
and it is a hormonal and nervous
system issue.
131
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:15,160
I think that alone feels
relieving because I think that a
132
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,160
lot of times we just get so down
on us.
133
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,920
Like why am I not remembering
this?
134
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:23,160
Why am I so tired all the time?
Well, if a woman listening feels
135
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:26,560
wired but exhausted, this could
be why.
136
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:30,720
Your body is going through
natural changes and it is
137
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,160
perfectly normal and OK.
But what do you think that her
138
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,360
body is really trying to
communicate at this time of
139
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,440
life?
Well, if you are feeling fatigue
140
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,920
no matter how much you try,
likely it's what we call it, the
141
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,440
own adrenal fatigue.
That means your adrenal adrenal
142
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,720
glands really struggling with
producing that cortisol.
143
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:54,600
So #1 recommendation sleep like
your life depend on it because
144
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,720
it really does.
There's a reason why they call
145
00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:01,600
it the beauty sleep because the
more restful sleep you have, the
146
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,880
better your skin looks, the
better you because while we
147
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:08,400
sleep, your skin produces
collagen, your body repairs.
148
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:12,120
And then of course your adrenal
glands have that moment of break
149
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,720
when they don't have to
constantly secrete cortisol.
150
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,800
And if you are struggling with
insomnia, I would say this is a
151
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,720
number one thing that you should
address with your doctor.
152
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,760
And just if you don't get enough
sufficient amount of sleep,
153
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:28,080
which for adults it's only 7 to
8 hours, not like for teenagers
154
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,920
who need to sleep 9 plus hours,
but your body needs those hours.
155
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,600
Without it, this hormone
transition, it's going to be
156
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,480
quite dreadful.
It's just so amazing to me that
157
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:41,280
there is so much science now on
the importance of sleep.
158
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:45,960
It is one of the number one
causes of early fatality.
159
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,520
Because of the stress, because
of everything that we've been
160
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,480
putting our bodies through,
sleep has become like the number
161
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:55,360
one thing for self-care and it
is something that we can all do.
162
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,480
It's something that I think we
had been trained or socialized
163
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,920
early on to think that we should
be able to get by with less
164
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,200
sleep.
That is absolutely not true, is
165
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,200
what I'm hearing you say.
That's that's very natural.
166
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:11,600
And if this is a podcast about
beauty, so I would talk to our
167
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,560
listeners from the point of
beauty.
168
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:17,160
Let's think about what happens
to our skin specifically when
169
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,000
you don't get enough sleep.
So you get constant elevated
170
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,920
cortisol constantly elevated
cortisol simply destroys your
171
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,920
collagen.
It doesn't matter what collagen
172
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:29,040
powders you drink.
You know what kind of fancy skin
173
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,120
care you put on.
You can do all kinds of
174
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:35,000
injectables, lasers, they're all
great, but the foundation is not
175
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,120
there.
It's when people saying I feel
176
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,720
like my body is going against
me.
177
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:42,160
But if you are putting it in a
state that it has to go against
178
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,480
you, this will be resolved.
That's why really restorative
179
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,560
sleep, it's so essential, just
as important as of course, good
180
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:52,360
nutrition and.
Movement now I know that you
181
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:56,400
have also said that self-care
can quietly become another form
182
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,880
of self monitoring or self
surveillance.
183
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:03,840
So constant vigilance affect the
nervous system long term as
184
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,440
well.
How can women tell the
185
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:08,920
difference between self-care
that restores and self-care that
186
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:12,160
subtly reinforces pressure?
Like if we're saying like, oh,
187
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:15,120
you need to get sleep and
somebody is saying, Oh my God, I
188
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,640
didn't get enough sleep or I got
terrible sleep last night.
189
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,360
And then they start feeling bad
about them cells.
190
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,280
Like how do you get them to
start working away from that
191
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,120
cycle?
That is, that is such a great
192
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,200
point, Jennifer, and you're
obstacle looking right?
193
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:32,040
And that's why I'm so careful of
giving kind of a specific
194
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,240
Wellness advice because it's
exactly what we do.
195
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:39,880
Overachieving women, the women
who like to optimize things, you
196
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,480
know, trying to be efficient in
their life and they're trying to
197
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,720
optimize their health.
And then you're right, they
198
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,000
create this as another form of
task.
199
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,800
And then when it comes that self
surveillance monitoring task,
200
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:53,560
then it becomes destructive on
its own if you're constantly
201
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,160
checking yourself.
Am I relaxed enough?
202
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:59,040
Did I get enough restlessly?
Am I wearing this special brace?
203
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:02,320
But they're telling me if I get
enough R.E.M. deep and whatever
204
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:06,040
thing you're measuring, you
probably stressing yourself too
205
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,160
much and not really get full
benefit to it.
206
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:12,320
So This is why in the beginning
of conversation I said it's OK
207
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,240
if you don't do it perfectly.
Don't do it perfectly.
208
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,520
Do it as you feel for the day.
And maybe one day you need 10
209
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:21,240
hours of sleep, maybe another
day you'll be totally OK with
210
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:23,920
getting 6 1/2.
Just ask your body what it
211
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,600
needs.
Don't try to be perfect.
212
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,120
Yes, body likes routines.
So if you do go to bed at the
213
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,600
same time, wake up at at the
same time, your body will
214
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,960
respond better.
But don't do it on somebody
215
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,160
else's schedule.
If somebody tells you optimal
216
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:40,040
time to go to sleep at 9:00 PM,
but you absolutely cannot fall
217
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:43,840
asleep until 11, it's OK.
You have to do it on your own
218
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,240
terms.
You have to try.
219
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:47,280
You have to see what works, what
doesn't.
220
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:51,560
So don't turn it into another
form of against self monitoring.
221
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:55,280
Just do it from the point of
ease and self connection and
222
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,720
trust and listening to the body.
The most extraordinary thing,
223
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:02,480
what I see in women, we are
naturally very connected to our
224
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,840
bodies.
We have a fantastic intuition,
225
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,600
we can know when there's
something off, something wrong
226
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,440
with our bodies.
But I feel like in this 21st
227
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:14,120
century, because we have so much
noise, so much information
228
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,960
around us, we getting
disconnected with no longer
229
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:21,360
trust of what our body tells us.
So typically I just say to
230
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:24,760
women, if you feel like you have
so much, so many different
231
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,880
advices, people telling you
different things, you feel
232
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,880
overwhelmed, take at least 24
hours, completely silence,
233
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,600
withdraw from all the noise,
social media, even podcasts.
234
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,120
And yes, Jennifer podcast is
wonderful.
235
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:40,080
But if you have to take a 24
hour break, we will forgive you.
236
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:43,120
I can.
Currently sit with your thoughts
237
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,000
and then just listen to your
body and ask what do I need
238
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,640
today?
Do I need to move?
239
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,600
Do I really need that?
Another cup of coffee or do I
240
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,720
need maybe a normal tea?
Do I need silence or do I need
241
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:57,000
noise and it's OK and only you
know that answer?
242
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,760
Hit subscribe right now for more
soulful stories and inspiring
243
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:05,640
conversations with me and the
Human Beauty Movement podcast.
244
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:09,480
I think that in most cases,
those of us who had been in
245
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,880
business, we had been taught
that whatever we measure
246
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,360
improves.
And I think that that's why we
247
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:19,200
do all of the little gadgets and
devices to check and monitor and
248
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,760
this and that.
And it's one of the reasons why
249
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,600
I never got an aura ring.
I was always intrigued by it,
250
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,840
but I was like, OK, it's going
to tell me that I didn't get
251
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,080
enough sleep at last night.
Well, then what, what do I do
252
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,960
about that?
And, and so I, I just thought
253
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,840
that it would be like something
else that I wasn't necessarily
254
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:38,160
listening to my body.
I was listening to something
255
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:41,080
external to tell me what was
right or wrong with me.
256
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,640
But if you take that quiet
moment, like what Doctor Natalia
257
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,840
is saying, your body knows, you
know, deep down inside how
258
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,960
you're feeling.
And if you get a good night's
259
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,800
sleep, if you get that deep
sleep the next day, you may, if
260
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:57,400
you aren't able to tap into that
intuition by being silent enough
261
00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,760
to sit still and know how you
really feeling, kind of just do
262
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,480
that body scan.
Do that, you know, breath for a
263
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,600
moment.
Take that beat to get away from
264
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,400
the noise, to get away from all
the metrics, to get away from
265
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,920
all the you should, you should,
you should or you shouldn't.
266
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,560
You shouldn't, you shouldn't.
You will know what's right for
267
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,720
you, so.
Yes, absolutely.
268
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,760
Yeah.
And so I think that that is it.
269
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:22,640
It's almost like self-care had
become another arena where women
270
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:26,320
had been feeling evaluated or
were evaluating themselves so
271
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:27,600
much.
And we've been taught to
272
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,320
optimize everything from
productivity, from beauty to
273
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,000
Wellness.
What do you think that that
274
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,600
cultural pressure does when it
layers on top of hormonal
275
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:36,680
change?
It's a.
276
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:40,040
Very difficult position to be
in.
277
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:45,320
We are first generation of women
that aging under constant self
278
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,160
surveillance.
And it's really hard.
279
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:50,280
And that's what I really saw in
my clinic because most of my
280
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,280
patients are my age.
So it's scare menopausal 45 to
281
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:57,960
50.
And what I see is women aging in
282
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:01,480
the front of the camera, in the
front of mirrors, in the front
283
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,880
of some random, you know, zoom
meetings photos.
284
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:08,480
So basically we are on constant
surveillance of videos when
285
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,520
we're not even ready to pose and
we see see ourselves from the
286
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,520
angles that typically normal
healthy woman would not.
287
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:18,880
So that creates that constant
self monitoring and sort of pre
288
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,960
formative behavior.
And I'll explain you where I'm
289
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,120
going with this.
So let's start with a personal
290
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:27,160
story.
A few years ago I was completely
291
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,000
burnt out because I've seen way
too many patients.
292
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,760
So I decided I need to take a
break.
293
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,720
I'm gonna book myself a
beautiful retreat here in
294
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:38,520
Scottsdale, AZ.
So as any high functioning
295
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:42,000
overachieving woman, I decided
I'm going to go take advantage
296
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,120
of every single class there.
I'm going to go do all the
297
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,280
detoxes.
So I know you're laughing and
298
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,360
you know where I'm going with
this.
299
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,640
So I was so overbooked.
By the time I came home three
300
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,760
days later, I was physically
sick.
301
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,400
I was just, my stomach was
wrenching.
302
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,320
It was absolutely terrible.
It was not detoxing, it was
303
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,800
destructive.
And that's where I understood
304
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:06,160
that this moment of self
connection and this moment of
305
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,960
disengagement from the mirrors,
from phones to cameras, is
306
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,120
essentially to establish that
self trust.
307
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,280
And for us as we age, aging is
inevitable.
308
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,640
And then pretending like we all
going to look 20 for the rest of
309
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:23,000
our life is impossible.
You're going to over tax your
310
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,400
tissue, you're going to run into
complications or are you going
311
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,200
to turn into someone you're not
with overcorrected,
312
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,520
overstretched skin.
And you know, we've seen all
313
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,760
those crazy photos on Instagram,
I'm sure.
314
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:39,360
So ultimately, again, taking
time for yourself and then doing
315
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,760
what supports your body not from
the point of correction, but
316
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,400
always from the point of
support.
317
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,840
I want to go a little deeper and
talk about the mirror for a
318
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,680
moment.
And you are exactly right.
319
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,680
I think that it's interesting to
see how aging today is versus
320
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,520
aging talk about like maybe a
generation or two prior, where
321
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:02,920
now we have so many options
available to us, your clinic
322
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,599
included, where we can
rejuvenate, where we can quote,
323
00:17:06,599 --> 00:17:11,560
UN quote, stay more youthful in
terms of our skin, in terms of
324
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,160
how we look.
Because I think that a lot of us
325
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:18,119
are self critical because we see
the criticism of others through
326
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:21,680
comments and whatnot on social
media and and other places.
327
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,920
And we just want to stay as
young looking as possible.
328
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,440
All the while we're going
through perimenopause and having
329
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,880
these issues and fighting, I say
fighting against the clock.
330
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,920
But you know, that's the
traditional anti aging method is
331
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,000
that, you know, don't age
gracefully anymore.
332
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,800
We don't have to, There's no
need to.
333
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:44,480
We have options available to us.
So how do you kind of walk that
334
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:49,560
fine line in helping people
navigate through Wellness,
335
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:54,120
healthful aging, and also having
these youthful options available
336
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:56,920
to?
That's a wonderful question and
337
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,920
it's so I can give you a very
long answer because I'm actually
338
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:05,480
writing the entire book on that
topic specifically, but it's.
339
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,880
Challenging.
Things is, it's very
340
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,200
challenging, yes, because the
the most important thing is to
341
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:15,800
understand that our faces, our
reflection, our relationship
342
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,920
with the mirror, it's a deep
psychological relationship
343
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,160
because our face is not just the
face.
344
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,480
It carries a lot of societal
value.
345
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,920
Just think you're strangers
looking at your face and they
346
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,840
judge you immediately by your
expression on your face, by
347
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:33,080
consistency of your skin.
They charge you judge your
348
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:37,240
social status, your success,
they judge the level of your
349
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,520
friendliness, they judge your
level of intelligence.
350
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,320
Everything is written on your
face.
351
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,400
So of course, for us women, we
want to look as attractive as
352
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,280
possible and there's nothing
wrong with it.
353
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,360
And I for people who say that
women are vain, I have a big
354
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,400
beef with it.
And I can give another really
355
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,120
look very long conversation
about this.
356
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:58,520
But going back with aesthetic
treatments, the biggest problem
357
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:02,320
becomes it's when we take
medical tools and instead of
358
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,960
taking informed medical
decisions of to do the treatment
359
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,240
or not to do treatment, we use a
cultural fear and cultural
360
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,080
conditioning as a driving
decision choice.
361
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:17,040
So this is a very nuanced moment
and it's something that good
362
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,320
physician, good practitioners
should see it in a patient.
363
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,920
So if the woman is chasing the
image of herself that she was
364
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:29,040
1020 years ago, this is likely
just a cultural fear because
365
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,680
ultimately another very
important topic there is women
366
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,440
not necessarily want to be young
what they want.
367
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:38,320
They want to feel safe in their
body because there's a very
368
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,440
fascinating relationship with
our deflection in the mirror.
369
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,480
Often what we see in the mirror
when you look at the familiar
370
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,880
mirror, like in your bathroom,
for example, day in, day out,
371
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,560
it's a image of yourself several
years ago.
372
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,440
It could be as long as 10 years
ago, unless you did like a
373
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,320
recent remodeling, for example.
Because our brains, let's face
374
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,720
it, it's a little lazy.
It's kind of like looks at the
375
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,600
familiar settings.
I'm like, OK, that this is what
376
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,080
I see.
This is what she always is.
377
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,560
It's the same phenomena when
people.
378
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,920
People experience when they
suddenly lose a lot of weight or
379
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,480
gain a lot of weight, like
during pregnancy, they always
380
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,560
have like, Oh my gosh, I am all
sudden so big.
381
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,120
It didn't happen all of a
sudden.
382
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:17,120
It's just because your
reflection finally caught up to
383
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,320
you.
And it usually takes some kind
384
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,920
of a changing moment.
It could be you look at your
385
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,520
reflection and some strange
mirror.
386
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,920
It could be a hotel room or like
some venue or it could be
387
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,080
somebody to concisely photo of
yourself.
388
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,240
And once you see whatever that
imperfection that caught your
389
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:36,320
eye, the first thing your
nervous system response is fair
390
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,240
because you've seen something
unfamiliar.
391
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,840
Because again, our faces, it's
so much more than just a pretty
392
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,760
face.
It's your identity, it's your
393
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,760
social status.
It's just, it's just so much
394
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,080
more.
It's a very deep meaning there.
395
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:51,280
So when you get into that state
of fear that typically many
396
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:55,200
people start dialing up a number
for the person with a syringe
397
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,720
and saying, I need to fix this.
And if they come to me, we're
398
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,040
having this conversation, what
are we fixing?
399
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,080
Are we fixing something that's
even exist?
400
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:05,000
Like what is your overall goal?
Because then we can talk about
401
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,040
skin health.
What is your routine?
402
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:10,160
Are you taking care of yourself?
Because took my patients don't
403
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,480
do the basic floor I call them,
which is sleep, movement,
404
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,600
nutrition and managing stress.
It really doing all the
405
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,640
injectables.
It's like you're swimming across
406
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,480
the stream.
You're not feeding your body.
407
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,680
You're not giving it what your
body needs.
408
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:29,440
Wow that is so compelling.
I do remember after doing market
409
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:33,240
research back in the day, this
was a bit ago, but I would come
410
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,520
across women who would give
those insights and they were
411
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,080
such compelling insights.
They said, you know, I caught a
412
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:42,720
glimpse of myself in the
rearview mirror in my car and I
413
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,040
thought, who the heck is that?
And they were startled.
414
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,920
Or they put on a long sleeve
shirt and their hand comes out
415
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,440
and they're like, whose hand is
that?
416
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:52,640
Like they don't even recognize
who it is anymore.
417
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,360
And to your point, it's it's a
loss of identity.
418
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:57,120
Like, Oh my God, I've just
turned into my mother.
419
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,640
I thought my mother was sitting
behind me, but you know, almost
420
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:03,600
turned around and thought that.
And there, there is something
421
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:09,400
about wanting to remain vital
and this identity of this person
422
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:13,280
that had more energy, that had
more abilities and, and things
423
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,400
like that.
Because there is an impression
424
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:19,680
that we have internalized and
let's be honest, we have
425
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:24,000
internalized and society has
reinforced that when people age
426
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,800
and they start to get the scowl
lines or they start to get the
427
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,960
elevens between the brows, they
start to look angrier or not
428
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,840
happy.
You yourself might feel so
429
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,120
vibrant and youthful and happy
and wonderful inside, and
430
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:40,520
there's a mismatch between what
skin is showing and what you
431
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,600
feel inside.
And by the way, listeners, if
432
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,600
you are finding this
conversation helpful so far,
433
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,040
then please stay with us because
we're going to start talking a
434
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,920
little bit more deeply about
what actually works differently.
435
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,680
Doctor Natalia, if trying harder
isn't the answer, if adding more
436
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:59,520
isn't the answer, what is?
The more supportive shift that
437
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:03,600
women can make to restore energy
and feel at ease again without
438
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,000
turning this into to another
project.
439
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,720
What's that look like in daily
life?
440
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,160
So it looks very different for
everybody.
441
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,200
So I know some of my clients,
they get frustrated with me
442
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,960
because again, I'm not going to
give something specific.
443
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,520
I'm not going to tell you you
should wake up at 5:00 AM and
444
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,040
then go for a run at six and
then you should have that green
445
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,240
smoothie juice and blah, blah,
blah.
446
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,960
It could be a great idea for
someone, it probably not for
447
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,400
you.
So you just try yourself and
448
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,040
ultimately you do you.
You can take advice of some, you
449
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:37,480
know, social media Wellness, but
don't take it as a script.
450
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,680
Play with it.
Life is overall it's a fun dance
451
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,000
and play.
So you just kind of look at it
452
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,640
as such.
And even aging, I hate the word
453
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,880
anti aging.
One of my really good friends,
454
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,400
she called it you think so let's
call it you think.
455
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:54,040
And so if you are, you think,
but you're not really feeling
456
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,240
like yourself, you really feel
dreadful.
457
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,720
Let's say that the first thing
let's establish we're not really
458
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,360
fighting aging.
What we really want to do, we
459
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:07,880
want to re establish feeling of
safety within our body because
460
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,800
our body changed.
So how do you cultivate safety?
461
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:14,680
You do it by activating your
parasympathetic nervous system,
462
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,400
which is that rest and that just
nervous system.
463
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:18,760
And then there's a different
thing.
464
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:22,640
So you can do like for example,
I can just give you a couple
465
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:26,200
tiny little shortcuts.
If you do feel stressed, and I'm
466
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,600
I'm sure you already done this,
deep breath is the number one
467
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,920
easiest thing you can do.
You can do it, you know, sitting
468
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,880
at your desk, you can hide in
the car or hide yourself in the
469
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,120
bathroom if you want a busy
corporate office.
470
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:42,480
Just take that 2 minutes of a
deep, deep breath and that still
471
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,720
doesn't work for you.
Another thing you can do, it's
472
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,120
what I call the horsey lips.
So hopefully I'm not going to
473
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:49,040
trigger my microphone doing
this.
474
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,480
But what you do, you just exhale
really forcefully and you bubble
475
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:59,080
your lips as you do this and as
you do that, yes.
476
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,800
And as you do that, all of a
sudden you feel lighter.
477
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,000
I know, does feel good, isn't
it?
478
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:08,320
And then if you're not wearing
like running mascara, another
479
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,400
thing you can do is flush your
face with a really, really cold
480
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:14,440
water, not lukewarm.
I'm talking icy cold.
481
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:18,680
That will not just going to
stress you out or make you awake
482
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,040
or any.
It's actually calms you down
483
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:24,280
surprisingly.
So those tiny little shortcuts.
484
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:28,920
And as I mentioned earlier, the
body loves predictability.
485
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,680
So whatever your routine is,
your favorite skin care
486
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,680
products, your night bath or
shower that you take before bed
487
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,640
or reading before bed, try to
stay away from blue lights
488
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,680
because we know it's a fact in
your cortisol.
489
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,640
We talked about it, but it
doesn't have to be long
490
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,520
excessive list, but it's
something that you do every day.
491
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:50,120
I always tried to talk to
mothers in the room and say,
492
00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:53,240
remember when those babies were
born, nobody taught them how to
493
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,040
sleep.
We had to teach them how to
494
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,880
sleep and how do we do this?
We established some kind of
495
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,880
routine and then once it worked,
once you know, and again for
496
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,680
mothers who had multiple
children, they know what work
497
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,160
for older child might not work
for younger ones.
498
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:10,000
So you do the separate routine
for another human because we're
499
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,480
all genetically different with
different individuals.
500
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:16,960
But once you find that magic
juice that make you relax, make
501
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,920
you get in your body, so then
you feel safe.
502
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,640
Remember the keyword is safety.
And then you just repeat it like
503
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,400
a clock.
This is your recipe.
504
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:29,000
And then, and that's how you
cultivate that Wellness, that
505
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,400
true self-care that works for
you.
506
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,800
Yeah.
Hit subscribe right now for more
507
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,680
stories and inspiring
conversations with me.
508
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:40,200
Jennifer Norman, the host of the
Human Beauty Movement podcast.
509
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:44,360
I want to take a moment just to
let everybody know that, for
510
00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:47,360
example, when we say make sure
you're getting enough sleep,
511
00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:51,520
that used to irritate the hell
out of me because I'm a single
512
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:55,040
mom of a disabled boy who lives
on life support.
513
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,480
He has a ventilator and I was
his caretaker.
514
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:01,440
I continue to be his caretaker
and I am up multiple times a
515
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:05,920
night making sure that he is
alive, safe, well, cared for,
516
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,400
turned all of that.
And so when somebody said you
517
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,120
need more rest, you need to get
more rest.
518
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:12,520
And I would be like.
Fuck you.
519
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,400
You know, I was like.
I was like shut.
520
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,560
Up like you have no idea what
I'm going through.
521
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:23,480
So this is my message to you.
This is not a criticism.
522
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:27,480
Everything that we are saying
here we understand and that some
523
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:32,440
of this is just impossible given
your life situation.
524
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,840
And so that is why, you know,
we're here giving a bunch of
525
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,400
like maybe free tools or maybe
free ideas.
526
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,880
Take what you want, throw the
rest away.
527
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,400
Please feel free to comment and
let us know you know what parts
528
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:49,200
just don't work for you and what
parts do because that will help
529
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:54,320
you to see what actually can fit
in and is conducive and
530
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:58,840
convenient for you in your
current lifestyle and in in what
531
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,240
you're doing in your days.
The breathing part of it I do
532
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,800
actually love I because
everybody breathes.
533
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,240
Everybody can take a big deep
breath.
534
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:09,680
Do it with me right now.
Take that deep breath.
535
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:22,040
It takes a few seconds and it
can help you relieve the stress
536
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,800
that you might feel in that
moment, the horsey breath.
537
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,560
I think that those are
brilliant.
538
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,680
So thank you, Doctor Natalia,
for reminding us and for giving
539
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:34,040
us these new tools that I think
can fit into anybody's day, no
540
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:35,960
matter who you are, what you're
going through.
541
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,320
So just wanted to throw that in
there because, you know, we're
542
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:43,040
not about necessarily giving
like, you know, cookie cutter
543
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,280
advice.
That's never what we want to do,
544
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,000
what I want to do.
And it's one of the things that
545
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,080
I loved about Doctor, Yeah,
before we even met today.
546
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:54,520
Because it is so important that
this is this is your podcast.
547
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:58,080
This is your opportunity to
maybe, you know, try on
548
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,200
something that might fit a
little bit better and that you
549
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:04,040
can incorporate into your life.
Because we care about you so
550
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:05,640
much.
We want you to be well.
551
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,480
We want you to love yourself.
And we don't want self-care to
552
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:12,920
be yet another burden.
So instead of optimization, we
553
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,640
are talking about conducive
regulation.
554
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:17,960
Instead of control, we're
talking about safety.
555
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,320
Safety.
This is a completely different
556
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:24,600
paradigm, right?
OK, yes, so let's talk about
557
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:28,240
self trust and something about
identity then a little bit of
558
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,040
what we talked about before.
Because when women understand
559
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:34,000
what's happening biologically,
when they stop blaming
560
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,880
themselves, when what changes
and all these things, how
561
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,680
they're moving through midlife,
you know, what does aging with
562
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:45,400
self trust rather than fear
actually feel like?
563
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,720
How will somebody know if
they're moving in the right
564
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:53,040
direction, Doctor Natalia?
That's really ultimate goal, and
565
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,760
I wish absolutely every woman to
arrive there.
566
00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:00,240
It does takes a lot of practice
and patience, which
567
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:05,440
unfortunately we got conditioned
for so long not to truly trust
568
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,600
our own body and our own
intuition.
569
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,680
And in this noisy world, it
comes from the moment.
570
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,760
Of course, it does come from
understanding your body to
571
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,080
really understanding and
normalizing the emotions you're
572
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,520
experiencing.
Normalizing that yes, maybe
573
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,240
someday you will be irritable
and understanding.
574
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,960
And yes, you might go through
the little weight loss, weight
575
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,720
gain swings.
All of that is a part of the
576
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:31,400
journey of transitioning into a
new woman post menopause.
577
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,440
As you're going through this
process, once you understand
578
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,320
what's normal, what's not, you
found the physician you trust
579
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,920
who has that great dialogue with
you explaining you the hormonal
580
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,840
shifts, how it's affecting your
memory, your mood, eating
581
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,400
yourself, perception.
And from that moment of
582
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,960
knowledge and the moment with
the stillness and safety within
583
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,280
your body, that's how you
cultivate the self stress
584
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,520
because now you don't have grade
of symptoms, you're experiencing
585
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,400
hot flash.
Well, unless you start taking
586
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:58,880
estrogen, you kind of laugh at
it.
587
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,720
Like, all right, that's it.
My hypothalamus, it's actually
588
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,440
fighting with my estrogen.
It's recalibrating my
589
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:06,720
temperature right now.
So here comes the hot flash.
590
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,320
Maybe I'll wear just a lighter
clothing.
591
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:12,200
Maybe I'll wear waterproof
mascara so just my face doesn't
592
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:13,880
melt.
So you kind of have a little bit
593
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,760
more.
So compassion, support, little
594
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,400
humor and time, that's how you
cultivate that.
595
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:23,120
The ultimate Southwest.
I love that the self compassion
596
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:26,680
and the humor, especially the
gentleness and the kindness that
597
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:30,720
you can show to yourself is
everything because it will
598
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:35,160
reflect on the way that you show
up in the world for your family,
599
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,720
for your loved ones, for
colleagues, and you know,
600
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,720
showing them a bit more grace
and kindness too.
601
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:44,040
Because if we're so hard on
ourselves and we criticize
602
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,600
ourselves, we're not so great to
be around.
603
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,280
We're.
You.
604
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:50,520
Know if we're miserable.
People.
605
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,240
No one.
Wants to be miserable, right?
606
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,840
We all want to be happy.
We all want to have joy.
607
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:58,520
And so that sense of humor and
that self compassion goes such a
608
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:00,520
long way.
It really does.
609
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:04,880
And that kindness, that self
love, which is not self-care,
610
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:08,000
which is not monitoring and
checking and making sure and
611
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,200
guilting ourselves.
If we're, if we think that we've
612
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,560
caught ourselves, it's, it's
being like, oh, Dang, I didn't
613
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,200
go to the gym yesterday or Dang,
I'm too tired to make dinner.
614
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,520
Oh well, you know.
No, that becomes your favorite
615
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,560
catch phrase.
Oh well.
616
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,680
Yes, yes, I love it.
Oh well, you know, yesterday was
617
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,880
yesterday, today is today, today
I'm going to do me.
618
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,480
And Speaking of gym, you know,
as much as I'm a big advocate of
619
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:35,160
exercise, I try not to use the
scary word exercise with women
620
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,320
because many of them so allergic
to it.
621
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,200
You know, like you allergic to
or the sleep, right.
622
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:44,520
So I just say movement, do
something that gives you joy.
623
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:48,800
Maybe it's dance, maybe it's, I
don't know, doing dishes.
624
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,760
Maybe it's doing lunches when
you vacuum.
625
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,520
Maybe it's running after your
kids or running with a dog.
626
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,800
There doesn't have to be
something specific.
627
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:59,040
It doesn't have to be that sexy
yoga class that's everybody
628
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,480
going to.
If you hate it, don't do it.
629
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,680
A lot of us are so sedentary.
We sit at death.
630
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:06,680
There's almost like this sitting
epidemic.
631
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,840
And so movement is so beautiful
because it could be standing up,
632
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,520
it could be, you know what, I'm
going to take a breath and go
633
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:15,640
get a glass of water or taking
the stairs or something like
634
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,680
that.
Getting your body up and out of
635
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:21,000
the chair, doing 10 air.
And if you feel a little bit
636
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,200
more compelled, then you can
stand up and do 10 air squats.
637
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,600
Just that.
And that's your exercise for
638
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,400
that day.
And that's beautiful.
639
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:31,440
At least there's a little bit of
movement built in that's above
640
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,680
and beyond what you used to do,
and it's keeping your joints
641
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,360
resilient.
Yes, yes, it's a beautiful
642
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,120
thing.
Well, Doctor Natalia, where can
643
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,880
people learn more about what you
do, your website, all of that
644
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,760
good stuff?
But you can find us on social
645
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:49,640
media and on Instagram.
The social media handle is
646
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:54,160
Unveil U dot Live, same as our
website WWW.
647
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:58,040
At Unveil U dot Live, it's an
educational platform.
648
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,320
We are trying to download as
many free resources as possible,
649
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,520
but it is a new part.
So there's a lot of things
650
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,480
that's still under construction.
But yes, we're trying to build
651
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,480
this beautiful forum so women
can ask questions and we can
652
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:13,679
have those great conversations
and kind of discuss the hot
653
00:34:13,679 --> 00:34:16,280
topics that most women don't
even want to talk to their
654
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,600
girlfriends or even the doctors
with.
655
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:23,920
Otherwise, I am writing a book
which is still not published
656
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:24,880
yet.
It's in the hands of a
657
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,080
publisher, but it's probably
going to take another month
658
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:30,320
until it's ready for pre sale.
So just go to our website at
659
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,920
mvlu dot Life and then just put
on the mailing list so once we
660
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,000
have it on the pre sale, you'll
be the first to know.
661
00:34:36,159 --> 00:34:40,800
Amazing, amazing and I love that
on Unvalue you have courses,
662
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:44,760
they're self-guided video
courses that people can go
663
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,560
through.
Can you tell us an example or
664
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:50,800
two of what you offer there?
So 3 courses, there's a three
665
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,320
core courses.
My favorite is Beyond the Mirror
666
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,320
because I'm all about the
psychology and it's all about
667
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,480
your relationship with your own
reflection.
668
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:02,080
Because as you mentioned
earlier, we are so self.
669
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:05,400
And unfortunately, as we go in
through perimenopause and our
670
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:09,720
progesterone estrogen drops,
that self critic gets extremely
671
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:13,560
loud because we're losing a
buffering of those beautiful,
672
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,920
very sooty female hormones.
So if you feel very self
673
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:19,680
critical during perimenopause
and menopause, take a deep
674
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:20,800
breath.
It's normal.
675
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,560
But then there's the things,
there's the tools, meditations
676
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:28,000
you can do to recognize that and
reconstruct that self talk.
677
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,200
Because ultimately all that self
talk is something that you learn
678
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,840
and you can always unlock.
The second course is all about
679
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,240
the aesthetic medicine.
It's quite popular because
680
00:35:37,240 --> 00:35:40,200
people love asking questions.
What is the Botox score?
681
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:41,800
What does it do, what it doesn't
do?
682
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,800
So it's just educational
information.
683
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:47,360
I never promote any treatments
because I don't even do it in my
684
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:50,400
own clinic.
My goal is to give women tools,
685
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:54,120
help them understand what the
tools do and what meaning they
686
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,880
add to the tools.
The reason they apply the tools,
687
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,480
it's up to them.
On the last course, it's also
688
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,600
quite popular.
It calls Aging Unveiled and it's
689
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,160
all about biology and aging.
What's happening through your
690
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:07,200
body.
What is collagen elastin?
691
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,200
You know, what is this
biohacking?
692
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:10,960
How many supplements you're
supposed to take?
693
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,480
Do you even need to take
supplements?
694
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:14,200
So just answering questions like
that.
695
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,880
Oh beautiful.
Well, thank you so much and
696
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,680
everybody beautiful humans.
I want to reflect back something
697
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:25,960
to you as you're listening right
now because really today's show
698
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,720
was not about abandoning
self-care.
699
00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:31,680
It's about how you can evolve
it.
700
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,640
Because we we've been taught
that midlife is something that
701
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:36,720
you should fight against tooth
and nail.
702
00:36:36,720 --> 00:36:40,320
That aging is decline.
Exhaustion means we're not
703
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,920
disciplined enough.
But this is not your body
704
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:47,320
failing you.
It's asking for a different kind
705
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:51,360
of partnership from you.
Maybe it's less performance,
706
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:55,440
less regulation, less
surveillance and more safety.
707
00:36:55,600 --> 00:37:01,080
Midlife isn't a breakdown.
It is a recalibration and maybe
708
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:06,040
the most radical form of beauty
at this stage is self trust,
709
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:10,320
understanding your biology,
honoring your nervous system,
710
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:14,080
releasing that idea that you
have to earn your radiance.
711
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:17,520
Dr. Natalia, I want to thank you
so much for being my guest today
712
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,800
and helping us see that aging
isn't something that we should
713
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,520
fear, but it's something that we
can understand.
714
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:27,240
And to everybody listening, if
this conversation resonated with
715
00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:31,680
you, share it with a woman who
needs relief instead of another
716
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,080
checklist.
Remember, beauty was never meant
717
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,760
to be a performance.
It was always meant to feel like
718
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:43,280
coming home to yourself.
I'm Jennifer Norman, and this is
719
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:45,840
the Human Beauty Movement.
I'll see you in the next
720
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,320
episode.
Thank you for listening to the
721
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:52,480
Human Beauty Movement podcast.
Be sure to follow, rate, and
722
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,160
review us wherever you stream
podcasts.
723
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,600
The Human Beauty Movement is a
community based platform that
724
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,760
cultivates the beauty of
humankind.
725
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:04,600
Check out our workshops, find us
on social media, and share our
726
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,800
inspiration with all the
beautiful humans in your life.
727
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,760
Learn more at the human
beautymovement.com.
728
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,800
Thank you so much for being a
beautiful human.









