Episode 8: Gabe Adams-Wheatley - Living Life Without Limbits

0:06 Hello, beautiful humans, welcome to today's episode of Role Models juicy conversations with beautiful humans. My name is Jennifer, Norman founder of the human Beauty movement and your host. Okay, so, I am fangirling pretty hard right now because my guest today is none. Other than gave Adams Wheatley, gave is a makeup artist. He's a singer songwriter a dancer. A social-media influencer. He is an unrelenting Optimist, which I absolutely adore about him. He lives Life Without Limits or as he likes to say truly Limitless. Welcome game. Hi. Thank you for having me and we're so glad you're here. So you have a pretty fascinating story. So I would love for you to tell everybody all about yourself. What your origin story is?

0:55 Yes, so I was born in Sao, Paulo Brazil without arms or legs. Eggs, and my birth mother. When she found out, she knew that she would not be able to care for me or he did me the life that she knew that I could possibly have. So she put me up for adoption and my story traveled all the way across to the United States here to Utah, where my adopted mom was going through the grocery store and she was nine months pregnant with her 11th, and she was going through the checkout. And the cashier was like what number is that? And she's like, well, it's just my 11th and she's like, oh no way. That's so exciting. My daughter. Mom was like yeah it is. And then she's like, well, you know, I know a family that's adopting their 13th child.

1:36 That's from Brazil. But there's also a board that is coming but was born without arms legs. That needs a family. And and my adopted mom was like, no, I would take them in a second. Not even knowing how she was going to even care for me or anything like that. And so she went home and since she lives in a very religious belief, life with being LDS, also known as the Mormons. She went home and she prayed about it. And the angel gave her all popped up in her head and then she turned on the TV station and it was talking about the angel Gabriel and then, my adopted dad was a seminary teacher in the school system.

2:17 And he came home from work one day and she's like, we need to adopt this little boy and he says, you know, we already have our 11th child coming. We do not need to adopt another child and she's like, no, we really do. I just need you to go pray about it. And in the Mormon belief system, they have a temple that they go to, and he went there and he had a spiritual revelation of me and the baby that my mom was pregnant with growing up together and becoming best friends. And so he just instantly knew that it was something he needed to get on board with. And so he went home and told her and they call the adoption agency, the next day and the lady said, sorry mrs. Adams.

2:57 You are not a good candidate to adopt. You have too many children. Your husband did not make enough money. It's just not going to be a good fit for what this little boy needs and my adopted mom just instantly turned back around to her on the phone and said, you know, what? We will adopt this little boy and God will intervene in our behalf and make it possible just too late. And the lady on the phone, kind of just laughed and said, okay, whatever you say have a nice day. Bye. And then weeks later, they brought it up to the board of directive at the adoption agency and to the hospitals and everything and within seconds of Everybody in the room just stood up and said, you know what, we're on board. Let's bring this little boy to the United States. Let's get him adopted with this family.

3:37 And so they sent a letter to my family and said, the Lord has intervene on your behalf. You will become the parents of this little boy and things just started following to place. One thing after another at the American Airlines called and said that they would fly me or my parents, anywhere around the world to bring us together as a family, the Brazilian quartz called and for that, they would bypass the six weeks residency. Just let me come straight to the United States, be with my family as soon as possible and just all miracles and everything and it's all because my mom did not give up with the instant of knowing that she was supposed to be my mom. Oh my gosh, I'm trying not to cry right now. Your story is so compelling. Number one because God bless your parents. God bless your mom and your dad as well. As this is hard.

4:25 I also am adopted some people live with that pain of feeling like they were Were unloved. But then you turn around and know that when you start rewriting your story, when you start, getting to the place where you recognize look, how many people were rooting for you. Look. How much love was able to get you to where you are today, and look at the determination and how God works in such mysterious ways. Right? And really has this amazing magnificence of compassion and love and just this outpouring of willingness to serve that to me is Life is all about. I'm just curious because I've heard that there have been definitely some values and lessons that your family, instilled in you from an early age.

5:08 It wasn't easy. It wasn't all like, you know, let's be easy on him, right? Correct. So when my family first decided that they were going to adopt me, they already had ten children that were well above the age of 13, 14 and stuff like that. And they just set them all down with the aunts and uncles and grandparents. And just said, we're not going to baby this try. Child. When he comes into this family, he's going to be required to do everything that we all do. It may take him a little bit longer, but we just need to be patient and willing to teach him and learn with him and grown. When I first came into this family, they lived in a split-level home and my mom had always seen a life of Independence long before myself and those around her. And so, she actually got a lot of rude things toss towards her Direction because people thought that she was being to talk to a person with disability and that she should Little bit nicer, a little bit more loving bubble of long but looking back at it. Now.

6:05 I was a young adult who is now 23 and living on my own married successful house. My own job has my own life away from my parents and everything. I respect everything that she put me through to get me to where I am today. And so going back to the home that we lived in. It was a split-level home. And so I needed to learn how to go up and down those stairs. And nobody was going to carry me up and down those stairs. And so there were a lots of times that we'd set up those stairs for hours and hours and hours. I'd been tears. She'd be in tears. And finally, we just give up some points because we just were not seeing eye-to-eye. And then it wasn't until I think I was in the seventh grade that it really clicked that, you know, I don't want my mom doing every little thing for me and nobody else is Mom, does every little thing for them. So I think it's about time that I take the reins and I see my own potential and becoming independent and It got to the point with my mom where she's like, you're a little too independent.

7:03 Now, let me help you and I'm like no you raised me to do it on my own. I'm gonna take the time to do it and she's like, but it will just take me two seconds where it's going to take you five minutes and like I don't care. That also is a great lesson for a lot of people who are either used to be coddled or they want to be coddled. They want life to be easy for them and they don't realize that the struggle. It's kind of like what they say. No grip, no pearl, you know, you almost have to go through those really hard times and sometimes it sucks, right? Sometimes it really is painful and you feel like it's just not worth it. But then you realize, wow, look at how it helps to shape you into a stronger person. Going forward. Now aside from that you're openly gay non-binary and so many people struggle with their sexuality and identity. I mean, it can be a really tough road for people and I think a lot of people could benefit from hearing that part of your story. So, you know, feel free to share as much as you like about your early days and your journey of understanding your eye. Entity or arriving at self-acceptance and self-love. Well, I did grow up in a very Mormon LDS religion home with my dad being a very public figure in the school system of being a seminary teacher.

8:13 And my mom was always a part of the church's growing up. Being gay was very, very, very, very difficult because they never wanted to accept it or believe it or let it be true. And we had so many discussions growing up because I knew at such a young age by the time. I found out that I was really gay. I was in the second grade because I had this crush on this kid at the playground and he ended up being a new classmate in my class the following year and we start right next to each other. And I remember going home and telling my older sisters one time. And I said, well, do you think he's cute? I'm like, yeah, I think he's cute and I well, what do you think of that? And I was like, but it's not. Okay? And they're like, what do you mean?

8:53 It's not. Okay, and it's like, I shouldn't like boys and I know you can like whoever you want. So it was always nice. Stories are my siblings, having my back with being who I was wanting to be, but my parents being who they were at the time and not wanting to understand it, not wanting to allow it or anything. We're always so against it and we would have conversations. Like it's always a marriage between a, man and a woman. It's not Adam and Steve. It's Adam and Eve. Why would you ever want to be with a man? But will bomb sounds like you don't get it. This is who I am. This is who you raised me to be. And so it wasn't until I was 19 years old. And I was getting ready to move out of our house and I had been crying myself to sleep for years and years and years because I was constantly having to be someone, I wasn't.

9:38 I was also starting to step into the public eye with being a dancer social media, public speaking. And there was one time where my dad was my manager. And for motivational speaking, and I was doing a meet-and-greet afterwards and somebody came up to me and they whispered in my ear and said, I feel like you're not giving us your All truth. And I feel like you're hiding something and it just instantly ate me alive and it was something that I never forget and it was just something that made me feel so disgusted with myself that I couldn't be honest. And people were starting to see that and feel that. And so I would still go to the church and sometimes just because I really loved hearing other people's testimonies, but I did not like hearing people teachings of the church and everything because it It just didn't really line up with who I was or who I wanted to be or who I was going to be in.

10:35 And I knew that there was never going to be a chance of that happening in that religion. And so the only way I felt a connection in that church was hearing other people's testimonies and hearing what they struggled with with the daily basis, and how they would come and pray and stuff like that, and get their own benefit from it. And so, one day I was going to church and there are three different meetings in the Mormon church where you have sacrament. And then you have Sunday school and then you have either young woman's young men's early society, and all these other things that you're supposed to go to. And I usually would head out after Sacrament or Sunday school because none of it really applied to me after that. And so, I was getting ready to leave one day and my mom caught me. I'm 19 years old.

11:19 I've graduated high school and said, like, but the day at home, I'm grown up. Let me just do my own thing. I'm leaving and she's like, well, did you pray about it? And I was like you Did not just ask me if I prayed about it and it just made me so curious. I still ended up leaving and I went home and I sent her this long text and I was like, I'm gay in all capital letters. I was like and I'm not changing. I'm never going to change. I'm done. Bowing down to you and dad, and your wishes and your Mormon beliefs. It's not me. It's never going to be me. You raised me to follow my heart and to be who I am, but the second I do that, you get mad at me and showed me and told me that it's something I can't be and and I'm done. So if you Relationship with me after this moment, then that's on you.

12:03 But from here on out, I'm done trying and goodbye. And then instantly, she came home from church. She was sobbing, and she just went to a room for the rest of the night. And then the next morning, she came into my room and I could tell that she had been crying, and she just says, can we talk? And I was like, yeah, I guess. And she's like, okay. Well, I just want to first off, start off with saying I'm sorry. And I was like, okay and she's like, I'm sorry for all the times that I told you that you couldn't be who you wanted to be. I'm sorry for making you feel like you're a disgrace or making you feel like I don't love you or that I won't love you. I'm sorry for never understanding, were wanting to understand, but from here on out.

12:48 I want you to know that I do love you and I don't want to lose you as a son or as a friend, or as a person in my life. I want to be there when you get married. I want to meet the person that you're Mary, I want to be in your life after you get married when you decide to have children. I want to be the mother of your grandchildren. I want to be in your life, please. Don't shut me out. Please. Let me come to understand you and who you want to be and and that was huge because all the other conversations that we had before, then were nothing like that. And then minutes after my dad had come in, choosing my room, and pretty much just stated all the same things, which was very very, very huge for him. To say that because he raised nine other sons that were all athletes and straight and everything. He could have ever imagined and then to have a gay son who was also adopted, not be what he wanted. Was very, very hard for him.

13:45 And I don't think he really even truly came around until I started dating my husband and he saw the connection that my husband and I had and that it wasn't what they thought it was to be in because I know A lot of people have this stipulation that for gay people. It's all about sex and passing around STDs and AIDS and not having the real authentic connection and relationship and a love life. That's more than just the sex and more than just the hookups and dirty texts and stuff like that. And I feel like it was up to me in that moment to prove to them. That it was way more than what they thought it could ever be. And I remember I started getting into makeup when I was in high school and my my parents were like, you're not being makeup.

14:31 You do not need to wear makeup, but then I joined the dance company to you and I was like, well, I need to wear makeup to be on with you and to be onstage. So thank you. And for started wearing makeup here in there and one time I put makeup on and it was just blush all over my entire face. And I went shopping with my brother. Who's the same age as name and the entire time. We went out. He's like, are you mad? And it's like, no, I'm not mad and he's like, you look really upset. And I was like, no, I'm not. Laurel. And then we get into the car and he's like, if you're going to put makeup on, at least, learn how to put it on right now. He's like, okay, fair enough, fair enough and even my parents. I remember the first time they saw me photograph in makeup.

15:14 I had gone to this event in California and and it was taken with Getty Images and it's the worst picture I've ever seen in my head now, but I was so happy to wear makeup on the red carpet and everything. Thing. But the foundation was not the right seed. The concealer is not the right shade or anything. I'm eyelashes were falling off that my youngest sister was still living with my parents and she texted me and she said, moms crying right now and it's like, why is she crying? And she's like, she just saw you in the picture of you wearing makeup. I was like, okay, what about it? And she's like, she's not happy about it.

15:55 And I was like, why does she care? And she's like, she didn't raise you to wear. The Pipers and I was like me wearing makeup has nothing to do with her and make this has everything to do with me and my confidence and my life and everything else. And so I called her and I was like, hey, I heard you didn't like what I was wearing makeup and she's like, well, where did you hear that for us? I was like, I got little birds everywhere and she's like, okay and I was like, so what's going on with that? And she's like, I just don't think that boys should be wearing makeup when then I was like, you see those actors and actresses on TV. They're all wearing a cup. You see those news anchors that are males. They're wearing makeup.

16:38 You see those people that you go watching plays, they're wearing makeup and tights. Like there's no difference. Makeup is just makeup. It's a way of me, showing my creativeness, letting out my emotions and just really getting passed something with the type of artistry, and that is out there and she's like, oh, okay, and then from that moment on, she's always texting. Samia ask me. What's the best foundation for her to use? What kind or should you use? What's going to help our skin? And I was like, oh 91 in the hole and right. Yeah, and then my dad even had a huge turnaround because there was one point where I put on mascara and going to a family party him when I was way younger and he found out and he's like the day you wear mascara again, is the day I die.

17:25 I was like, okay and then a few Months ago. I did an article with the magazine and I was talking about how when I put on mascara. I have to put it in this very uncomfortable position, put it on and I'm getting it all over my lids and getting all over my face and it's very difficult, especially when I'm filming for a video because I have to rinse that off in between takes and he's like well, is there any way that I could like build something to make it easier for you to apply it and I was like, wait you want to help me put mascara? But it's very, very cool to see their whole, turn around in my supportiveness now. And I feel so lucky because I do know that there's so many people out there that have a way worse than I could ever even imagine.

18:11 And I'm very, very, very lucky to have them now. Thank you so much for being so open about your story. It stands to reason that kids are their parents best teachers. I mean, if we think about the dogma and the religion and the fact that your father was In the Seminary, like and your mother that just like the whole entire upbringing, everything that they had learned their whole entire belief system. Revolved around a certain way of life and a certain way of being. And here you come this wonderful ball of energy and you just disrupt everything that they know about their beliefs. And what is the way to live out your own truth and it's not easy for them. And so I have great compassion for people who live just like your parents.

18:58 Instead and we're brought up in a certain way, which was very restrictive. You can only imagine how much that they had to keep holds within themselves and not be true to themselves in a matter of respects because of what other people might think of what their religion is telling them is right and wrong and then recognizing that you buy. Just you continuing to be who you are. That's when you shine your brightest. And yet, everybody is going to recognize that eventually, it's going to take some time, right? But But your dad wants to build you something to make your mascara, go on easier. I mean, that is incredible. That is an amazing amazing Story. How are your other brothers about your transition and about you starting to wear makeup.

19:44 My brothers always knew at a young age that I was gay, and they always teased me about it, and give me a hard time and everything, but they all showed up to my wedding. And I, honestly, when I was younger, I never thought that any of my siblings would Be at my wedding. I mainly thought that maybe just my four sisters would be there because those were the ones I was closest to. And so for years and years and years, when I would dream about my fairytale wedding. I always imagined it without my family and just my four sisters. Yeah. I remember leading up to the wedding. I was so nervous because I was like, I don't know if I asked my family to come and stuff and then when I started dating, my husband I was like, oh no, they're definitely gonna come to my wedding. Yeah and one of Of my brother's was kind of taken back seeing my dad at my wedding and there was, I guess a conversation that was passed by the two of them at the wedding that I didn't care about, which is good.

20:41 I didn't hear about it until I was on my honeymoon. One of my older brothers, called my dad out and was like, why are you here at this wedding? And my dad's, like, why wouldn't I be here at this wedding? And he's like, you never ever, ever supported Gabe and being getting. So why are you here now? And he's like, well, I support him. And I've changed, and it made me super emotional hearing on my honeymoon because I had actually asked my dad to give a speech at my wedding. And I know that was probably very, very hard for him to go against his beliefs and stand up there at my wedding and condone what we were doing and allow it and everything.

21:21 I know that's so silly to even say that had to be condone or allowed, but for a white straight male. Male that has been brought up in such a religious strong, religious background to now get up and be there for his gay. Son is huge and I just really, really really respect my dad and that aspiration of doing that for me. He reminds me of Footloose to a certain degree. I'm curious, because since he is probably a staple in his community, has it had any impact on the Mormon community at large as far as openness towards those who are Gay or who have a different gender identity than the norm.

22:02 Honestly, I don't know how it's affected my parents religion, now, and there are people in their Ward, so speak. Mainly just because I've completely left the Mormon Church overall because of the hurt that I felt from it growing up and what they've done. Now. I don't feel like there's really been much of a change and I feel like there's been so many people that I know and that I love Love that I've even grown up with and garbage school that have ended up taking their own lives because they felt like they would never ever be loved or supported within their families or the church. And it just became too much of a pressure of them thinking, that, that just was all I could ever be in. And it makes me so sad and that's why I continue living my life and being who I am in hopes that it supports them in their efforts of wanting to be who they wanted to be. But couldn't be now, I know that you're a supporter of Love loud and having familiarity with love loud, and the understanding that it is really speaking up so that we can open up the conversation about being queer, being gay, particularly in the Mormon Community, where Dan Reynolds is from, just recognizing that I believe, probably, one of the highest per capita suicide rates among teens, in Salt, Lake City in Utah, because of the strife and struggle with the Mormon religion and And their leaf that it is evil or it is perverse and kids, just not being able to be okay with their own, sexual

23:36 identities is so true and just going to the love lot of fun. It was my first time this year, super honored to be a part of it, and I was also super emotional seeing all those beautiful young teenagers there and that had their parents, their their friends, their their grandparents, their supporting them and wanting to understand and support them in that. We was just so huge and so memorizing to because I know growing up I probably would have never had the opportunity with my parents. It is really, really sad to know that here in Salt Lake City Utah. We have the highest rates of suicide just within our teenagers and I know that there was a time in my life.

24:17 When I was a teenager that I almost took my own life because of thinking that there was no way of doing two and two and being where I wanted to be. I had to be inside the Line or outside the line. And if I was outside of the line, I was completely crucified and was in the outer Darkness. So to speak. And I wasn't going to have my family. I wasn't going to have my church and it was all that I ever knew at the time and it's very, very hard at that age to understand that there are so many other people outside of that world that are ready to support you. Love you be there for you. Listen to you and cheer you on as you have your fails and your Triumph against all throughout life. That's why I love that.

24:58 I My platform on Tick-Tock, we're able to show people that yes, I have a disability. Yes. I'm gay. But none of that matters. At the end of the day. I'm still human in, you're still human and I think in today's society we bring social media into so many things. Whether that's marketing, whether that's Entertainment, whereabouts, a getaway place for some people but there's still so much bullying that goes on. It is also bringing suicide to people and Seeing people down and making them feel like they can't be them. True selves. I remember, when I first came out. I posted it on my Twitter account. And 6 months later.

25:38 It went viral. And it wasn't the fact that I had come out as gay. But it was the fact that I had no arms and no legs. And people were making all these memes and all these jokes. And it was really the first time that I was really getting key on social media for just being myself. And I Is on tour doing a speaking engagement thing in schools and I just instantly broke down in my hotel room. And I remember calling my sister and my brother cuz I really knowledgeable about Twitter. I was like, why am I going viral on Twitter right now? And so they looked at it and I called my gosh. This is so stupid. You need not worry about it, but it just kept getting reviewed and likes and reviewed and like 1200 block over and over and over again.

26:23 So I finally just turn my phone off then, I turned it back on and I was like, you know, I don't want to sit in the This anymore. I want to pick myself up and get back up in the saddle. And so I went onto YouTube and I looked up motivating videos. And first thing that popped up was Nick Wojcik, who has no arms and no legs. And he was talking about how in life were put in this world as seeds. And people are either going to water us or pour oil on us because I either want to watch his grow or they want to watch us die. And then it came into my mind as everyday. We wake up at the choice. We wake up to choose to get ready. We wake up to choose to go her down. We wake up to put new clothes on. We wake up to choose what we want to eat for breakfast. We choose how people make us feel. Nobody makes us feel a certain way. We choose how they let us go.

27:14 And so it became a bigger thing to wear. I'm no longer going to let them choose how I feel. I'm going to pick up for myself and I want to spread that to you. Everybody on social media, but nobody gets to choose how I built. Nobody gets out. Jeez, how you feel? You get a takeaway at the end of the day, how you feel, and you own up to it. I think that that is such Priceless information. It is so valuable because you are exactly, right? The people who are going to be spreading that kind of negativity or that kind of meanness. It's more about them and how they feel about themselves. It's a reflection on their own values or their lack of value of Cells.

27:56 Then it is about you or anybody that they might be being mean to. You're exactly right as far as being complicit in being offended, or being upset by what other people might say or what other people might do. I think that there's always this Choice as you were saying about whether or not if something happens, it can make you bitter or it can make you better. It is a choice. It's a choice every day to wake up and say, you know what today is going to be the best day of my life today. I choose to be better today. There are going to be more Teas for me to prove what I can do over, what I can't do. And I think that you are so courageous and you have such an ability to be able to inspire so many people because of those choices that you make every day. And I think that there is a falsehood to say. Yeah, you're going to be completely bulletproof every day. 24/7 know you're human.

28:45 There are going to be better days, and there's going to be days that really suck. But but, you know, so long as there's more days where you can say, okay, I think today I'm going to be able to get it together. The amazing things that I can do and what my body can do over. What it can't do. Yeah. Yeah. And speaking of can do. Oh my goodness. You talked about dancing. I saw some videos of you skateboarding. I'm like what can't this dude? Do here are just amazing. You were just amazing. I think it's extraordinary about all the things that you've challenged yourself and you've risen up to say, okay, what next, what next? How was it that first of all, you decided that you would like to dance in that you're going to join a dance team.

29:25 Tell me about that. That I was in the seventh grade when I first started dancing. And it was because I was constantly getting looked at as a kid in the wheelchair and nobody was asking me to hang out. Nobody was wanting to really be my friend really because they thought that it was a mental disability as well because of having no arms and legs and they weren't really open to the idea of getting to know me for me. And when I was in elementary, it was always, I'll be games ground for the day because I know that the news is coming up and we Besties for that day. And then the day after it's like, no, I don't really want to be your friend. It's like, okay. And so it wasn't until I did the talent show where people kind of opened up to the idea of, oh, he can actually get out of his wheelchair and he can actually walk.

30:11 He can actually do other things without it and maybe he doesn't need it when we going out. And so then I was able to make a really good group of friends throughout Junior High, and then I got into high school and I was like, all right. Well, I'm sitting in a wheelchair all day long. And this is too much. I need to get out. Because when I'm at home, I'm not in a wheelchair all day. And so to be in a wheelchair for that many hours is a lot on my body. And because when I was younger, my mom raised me to not be attached to my body if I didn't need to be attached to it and when I got into high school, I was taking a dance class for one of my periods and there was a girl in my class that came up to me and she's like, hey, there's going to be a dance company. Troiano you should audition and I kind of just laughed at her and I was like, I am not trying, not the audience come with you. That's real cute.

30:55 She's like no audition wish you and I was like, no, I'm not going to audition which is like, no really. You sure? It was like okay fine. I will Just for kicks and giggles and so I got all ready for the audition and I lived about two blocks from the high school and I had gotten a brand-new electric wheelchair and it was almost dead because of the school day. So I drove home and I plugged it in and then I was running late to the dance audition. And so my phone needs to be almost like lanyard. Thing because it was easier for me to use in school and stuff. And so I just threw it over the wheelchair and it got caught in the will and then the motor. But I didn't stop because I knew that I was late.

31:36 So I was like, I can forget about my phone. It's fine. It's fine. So you can hear my phone just rattling the wheelchair as I'm driving down the halls and then I get there. And I came here in the first group in the front of the line is like, when he had already taught, all the choreography was like, oh my gosh, you've got to be kidding me. Answer I call right? Yeah. Take your places, 5678 began and I just sit there and I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing and I look over there and like she's really good. She's really good. And then I look in the mirror and like they're definitely making it. They're definitely make it. I should probably just walk out right now. And so I got done with the audition and it was a three-day audition. And so I go home and I tell my mom, I'm like, I'm not going to finish auditions.

32:21 That was embarrassing. And she's like, no. You just barely started. I'm not going to give up now and I was like, no, like, I don't think I even have a shot and she's, like, no, you're gonna go back there tomorrow and you're going to give it your all. I was like, okay, sounds good. So, the next day before auditions, I'm at lunch. And I hear these two girls talking behind me and they're like, they're only going to put him on the team because he's handicapped. And I was like, are you freaking kidding me? And I was like, I don't even want to be on the team and I don't want to be some poster. Child that they need to put on their dance to because it will make them look better and make them all feel better about themselves. I don't And so I went home again and I told my mom I was like I'm not going to do it not if they want me to be some poster. Child.

33:03 That's not what I need. It's not what I want and she's like no, that's not what you're going to be. Let's go talk to the dance coach and I was like, no. That's so embarrassing. She's like no, it's go. So we went and we talked to the dance coach and I've already know the dance coach for half the school year because taking a dance class and she's like, no, I'm not going to put you on the dance team because I feel sorry for you. If I put you on the dance team, it's because you'll work hard to keep it. I was like, okay. And so that the next day we had auditions and I had stayed up all night practicing the choreography. I'd called my cousin. That was a dancer. I talked to my neighbor that was already on the dance team and I just made sure that the dance is good and that I had it all and I went and I gave it my all and then I went home and waited for callbacks and everything and I went back over to school and on the way over, I started to get emotional because it was something that I worked so hard. Or it was something that I did for myself. I didn't have my mom sitting there holding my hand. She wasn't at every dance class and stuff like that, or something that I did for myself, you know, something that I set out for myself to go do and so I go over to the school building and all the kids are like smiling. And they're like getting me all these looks and everything was like, right?

34:17 And then I go over and my name is at the very top list. Oh my gosh, I made it. And I just remember, sobbing the whole way home. Oh, yeah, then we ended up moving halfway through that dancer. And and so I was so frustrated because it was something that I really wanted and my friends were like, no it's going to be okay, you'll find another dance studio thing to do where we move. I was like, yeah, but I work so hard we part of this one. She's like it's okay. And so we moved and I wasn't taking dance or anything for another house, the school year. And and then I went and did a speaking thing for This Youth Camp and the kids were the Rivalry high school that I went to and I K.

35:03 Would you love to come? Do a dance with us? And I was like, yeah, sure. And then I did the dance with them and the coach came up to me and she's like, would you like to be on the dance company team? And I was like, well, yeah, I'd love to but I don't want to just get it to me and like, I want to audition have Fair audition and she's like really and I was like, yeah, I don't want it to just be given to me. A lot of other kids tried out for this team the year. Before me and everything and they either got on or didn't get on. I don't think it's fair and she's like, okay. And so she gave me an audition. She brought in like the principal of that school and another teacher, and the dance company captain and stuff. And so I did the audition, they gave me pointers and everything. And then I was on the team and I choreographed about 70 ounces and we took two of them to stay. One of them.

35:49 We took second place, we would have taken first place, but my partner dropped me. And the judges were like You really played off that drop, but it looked like a drop set of. We're going to Marquee some points down for that. But dancing is always been a huge part of my life because it's been something that I've been able to express myself and it's been something that's a huge shock to people because they don't expect someone like me to be a dancer or to be somewhat good at it and be able to stay on be and be able to stay in line with all the other day. Answers and everything like that. And that's what I really like about it. That is mazing. Well, congrats on that.

36:31 Those are fun. Fun memories. Now. It must be. It's almost like one of those balancing acts where you don't want people to feel sorry for. You don't want to get these immense or these special conditions because of the fact that you don't have arms and legs. But yet there are certain things where accessibility does matter and you want to make sure that people who have any kind of Physical or mental disability have a seat at the table to a certain respect. Is there a specific line that you can identify where you're like, people are either being unfair or Society is being unfair versus? Well. I don't want them to just give me handouts because of my condition.

37:11 It's always such a tough line, to really comment on. Because I am a person with a disability. I've grown up with other people with different types of disabilities as well and my senior year of high school. I was actually a peer tutor for disabled students. At first, when I was in that class the teacher thought that I needed to be in that classroom because of my physical disability. And I was like, no, I'm here mentally, you know, everything, like I'm good. And she's like, oh, okay, and she's like, well then how about you just be a peer tutor and take the kids to the classes and take notes for them and make sure that they're on their best behavior and everything and it actually really opened my eyes to see other people with different types of disabilities.

37:55 Reason how they were treated by other peers and teachers and stuff like that or how they looked at themselves. But I grew up I grew up with a 5048 because I did need certain help in the classroom. Other without was dropping my pencil or getting things in and out of my backpack. And not wanting have to bug other peers, in the classroom. We get it out for me and then them not have their stuff out time. I always had apply before Aid. That would push me and not. Let me get away with half-assing things and making sure that I did it to the top notch. And even Beyond Top Notch because they knew that it was within me. And my parents knew that it was within you and they never let me suck off. And so, when I would see other people with disabilities, when I was a teacher doing that, it just bugged me because I was like, no, you're fully capable of doing this.

38:41 Maybe other people that you get off doing it because they don't understand, they don't want to understand, but you're more than capable of doing some things on your own and I don't think that you need to be given a lower attention, so to speak. There was one moment where I was being are pure, teacher, one time, the student that I was working with had autism. He was very, very smart. He was doing his math and I had been with it for almost the entire school year. So I knew all of his tics that would make a mad things that would make him happy. What would get on his nerves like, how to start the day off with it, what to say, what not to say, what to do, and what not to do. And you are not very quickly out of respect for them because you don't want to set them off and it's very easy to set them off.

39:25 When You do set them off, it can sometimes be very scary. And remember when I first started be a teacher. My mom was like, I don't know if that's a good idea for you to be doing because what if they get like very temperamental and they go to hit you or they throw you out your chair or something and it's like, no, that's not going to happen. Like it's fine. I'm not scared. I'm not worried that one time. There was a new teacher. The head teacher was out on teacher leave. This substitute teacher was getting mad because I was just sitting there, and I was letting him do his math work. I wasn't hoping because I knew that he knew how to do it. And so I wasn't going to and she's like, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm letting him do his work and she's like, no, you need to be helping him and I was like, me sitting here.

40:09 Quietly is helping him. And she's like, no, your job here, as if your teacher student is to be in here, helping not just sitting and I was like, you don't understand because you're not in this classroom every single day and you don't see these students every day. Nor. Do you know the 30 of some of these people's disabilities and what really took them off and what does it? So, I'm not even going to have this conversation with you because you don't understand and she just was super mad and she wrote me up and everything. And then the next day, the head teacher was there. And she's like, so what is this note about? And I was like, you don't even want to know and she's like well tell me it's like I told her and she's like, probably all know that's ridiculous.

40:49 And that teacher ended up trying to always get onto this one students nerves, because she just thought it And so all of us other students caught on to it. And we started to write down the things that she would say or do to get on his nerves. Because she knew that it would and she didn't care. And she thought that she just ran the classroom, and she ran the student. Everything runs. Like that's not okay. So we ended up getting her fired halfway through the school year because I was like, that's not okay. I'm not going to put up with that. And then there was another time, because I was over five different students, because my senior year, I had. The opportunity of either graduating early or becoming a teacher and so, I had five different students. And one day I was in class with one of them in their US history class.

41:37 And she also had autism. The kids around heard. We're taking videos of her on Snapchat and laughing at her and making fun of her and I turned around. And I said, how would you like it if I filmed you and I put it on my social media, for a bunch of people to laugh at and they instantly just froze in their tracks and was like, it's not funny. You're not better than her. You're not cooler than her. Knock it off. It's not funny throughout the entire rest of the school year. They were always friendly to her. Always nice to her and never pulled her far out again. Proper those common sense of respect. In the same thing. Goes on social media, people do anything to get a job and get a like.

42:19 Now. I see that all the time in my comments and my favorite things to delete the most ridiculous root cruel comment that has over thousands of likes. And then I just leave it because I'm like, I'll give you your moment because apparently you need it, but it's not going to last for very long. And I get that a lot of People that put those kind of comments in those kind of options out there are hurting themselves and it just makes me feel really bad that they don't have any other Outlet to let that out and it has to resort to bring other people down to their level. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you've definitely learned by living and are able to really be an advocate for so many others that are in the same boat or coming up in your wake and finding ways to get by as well.

43:04 I really appreciate that. And speaking of That I know that you said at one point you were a motivational speaker, but you never really either liked it or enjoyed it. You said that you felt like it was more of an obligation. Do you think that being an influencer? It's a bit better that you get to express yourself through your passion and also be a voice for others. A lot of the really good one. I still get asked to be a motivational speaker a lot of times and I just turned it down because it's still something that I just don't enjoy doing and even just being on social media. I don't even Even like doing the voice overs or like, talking in my videos. That's why all the videos always have some sort of soundtrack over it and every once in a while my management team will have me, do some sort of Wars over and I'm dragging and dragging dragging to have to do it because I just for me, I feel like I already put so much out there on social media and she be put in another vulnerable situation where I'm going to get made fun of.

44:03 Because I know I have a speech impediment and because I say, It's funny or I talked a little bit too fast. And I Stumble over my words and stuff like that or I sometimes I say the wrong words, when I'm trying to say something else. I know that I'm going to get called out or made fun of. And so I try and keep that to the bare minimum and that's why I don't really use my actual voice and I try and just use the text boxes and stuff like that. Hope that the message gets across in that way or maybe could have fooled me because here, I am thinking about how articulate you are and I could not not detect a single bit of the speech impediment could have fooled me. Well, gosh, if there are about 2.6 million people, that follow you, on Tic Tac because they love seeing you succeed for the most part.

44:48 And so, how does it make you feel that you've been able to touch that many people? That's like, whoa. When was it that you realize that you were inspiring other people? Honestly, it was just around this time of year ago after I got married to my husband. I posted a clip of our wedding video and to this day has I think 87 million views and we were on our honeymoon to New York and everywhere. We went, we were constantly getting stopped and same K. You're that guy. From Tick-Tock your makeup on Tick-Tock. A, I just saw your wedding video for my gosh. You're so amazing block because like, we watch this crazy and then I had a million followers and then I hit a million point five and then I had a billion points edit and then I had to point million and then I have a 2.5.

45:36 Not At 2.7 and it just continues to grow and it's always just a huge thing to get over that. You know, there are millions of people that are watching and it's also a very humbling moment to know that it is helping millions of people in that a lot of people watch my videos, just to start their day out, to get themselves out of that. Want to get themselves through a hard time or to kind of smell, be totally top goodness. But it's just so crazy that people love and respect my content that they want to follow for the journey and that even their kids are interested or that their grandmas are interested and that it's just out there for the world to see and that is hoping just means the world to me.

46:25 Yeah, you did speak a whole lot about the bullying that you've endured in the past. So how does it feel? Now that you've set your mind to things you've accomplished so much? We haven't even Yet talked about your snack of a husband will get to that in a moment. What would you say to those that are in a place where they still feel like, they're getting bullied and letting things get to them. What kind of advice? Would you give to those people? Like I said, social media has made it their game for anybody to say whatever they want. However, they want whenever they want, and I'm 23 years old and I'm still getting bullied online in stores. Whatever. It may be. I'm human, it gets to me all the time.

47:07 And there are some days where I'm bawling in my bed at night because I just don't want to even post anymore. But I've made it my job and I just go back in the next day and put a smile on my face and just keep going. And sometimes I don't want to because it's hard and sometimes the things that people say Mike how could they even get to that point? But they would even have my whole thing is, nobody truly knows a person until they lived a day in their life. Nobody is ever going to live a day in my life without arms legs, the way that I do. So people can say what they want to say, but they're never going to know me. And I never going to know what it's truly like to be and until they do.

47:50 I can't blame him and I can't fault them for them. When you to say what they want to say. It's their life and it's my life and I'm not going to continue to let it bother me as much as I used to. Yeah, let success be your best revenge. I suppose. All right, now on to the snack of a husband because you're Up to a year anniversary. Is that right? So tell us anything that you want to about how wonderful he is Autumn and I met on Tinder. He likes to say that he got the first messaging but it was definitely me that got the first message in and I have the receipts and leading up. My dating experience was never the best. It was always guys that were just trying to say that. They either dated me or try and get in my pants and take advantage of me.

48:33 And so, I kind of was getting really fed up with the whole dating. See because I didn't want just a hookup. I didn't want to be taken advantage of, I didn't want just a one-night stand. I wanted a mutual connection. I wanted somebody that I could fall in love with and that would see me for me and just love me for me. Pleading out to meeting my husband. I had got on a few days trying to like, test out the waters again, see what I really wanted. And I had written down in my notes, what I saw for myself in a future spouse, and what I wanted for myself. Sell five years from now and how I was going to attend that and what I was going to do on my end to get there and I needed to First be open to the idea of just letting things flow naturally and not push for it and not give up too easily as well. And so, when I swiped on my husband, I just instantly knew that there was some kind of connection and that he was going to be Sunday person in my life and I had no idea that it was actually going to be my My future husband. We had our first date a few days after talking and texting and he took me to a coffee shop and for me to go on a date. I have to be completely vulnerable because I need help. Getting into people's cars.

49:50 I need them to buckle me. I need them to be okay to push a wheelchair. I need them to be okay, to be seeing with the person with the disability and to really take that on. And so when it came to Adam, he took me on this date where we went to this coffee shop. It was not just an ordinary coffee shop. It was called. Shop where you play games? And I was like, oh this is going to be interesting. And so I was getting all nervous we walk in and he's like, hey, do you have a cup for him to put the Dyson? Do you have this for him to put his cards? And so he was already thinking of everything to make it feel natural as possible, which made me feel really good. And then my sister at the time was serving in LDS mission, it was the time where she calls once a week.

50:34 And so I ended up answering Me and my mom and my aunt were both on the phone too. And so I was like, oh, this is awesome. Adam just instantly connected with my mom and my sister and which was a very big deal to me and then he started to drive me home. It was like well, it was really nice seeing you and hang out with you and he's like, oh, we're not gonna hang out. So I was like, oh, we're not and he's like, no, I still wanna hang out with you and I was like, oh, okay. And so that at the time I was living out my brother, my sister. Someone's house and I was babysitting my kids part-time and my sister-in-law was like, are you going to ask him to stay for dinner? I was like, I'm not gonna ask him to stay for dinner and she's like, okay, then I will, I was like, oh boy, okay, and so that my nieces and nephew were like jumping on top of him and everything, but he was jumping right in which was also really big deal for me, was for somebody to connect with my nieces and nephew and then he ends up staying until two in the morning. And then we had to Work the next day, which was really sweet of him and then he came back the other day after he had to work. And ever since that day we were inseparable but then we got to a point I think like two weeks after dating and I was like, Aria, I need a break.

51:50 It's not you it's me. Like we've been dating for a minute. I need my space. I hope you need your space and was like, what did I do? Something wrong? I was like, no. I just I'm not used to this kind of attention and he's like, okay. So I go back home and my sister-in-law is like, are you stupid? You finally have a guy that's interested in you and you're going to turn them away and was like, it's just for a few days and she's like, no, I'm calling him and tell him to come to dinner and it's like, okay, you do that if he was there for dinner and then he tried to ask me to be his boyfriend. A few months later and I told him no. And he's like, no. And I was like, yeah, no.

52:32 And then I go home and I told my sister mom and my mom, and once again, I call you stupid. You have a guy that's 500 to be your boyfriend. Like he's your boyfriend. Do you bring him to everything? He's your boyfriend? He's not my boyfriend. The future is like a see you're catching on and then he proposed to me in October, 20, 20, and then we got married last year in June, and we are now coming up on our first anniversary. Oh my gosh, that is so beautiful. So he actually destruction of makeup vanity, so that it would fit your needs better, right?

53:29 He did. When we first started dating, he lived in this grungy. A nasty apartment total, nasty Bachelor had and everything. I was like, this is so gross. We need to get you a home. And so I was already looking for a conference because I was eventually going to move out of my brother and my sister in law's house. I had found an apartment that I liked but then it wasn't something that was going to line up with him a few months into dating. I had told him that I was looking for apartments and he gave me like his puppy-dog eyes and he's like, well, if you ever want to be like roommates or anything totally like move. Together and as I write, okay, and so then I started looking for apartments for the two of us. And I found one that was in Salt Lake City. I pretty much changed his entire world because I had him get a new apartment.

54:18 I had him, get a new job and then we moved in together and I was doing Tick-Tock here and there and I hadn't really picked up or anything, but I really like doing makeup on there. And I was doing my makeup in the bathroom. Umm, on the shower bench and the lighting was awful. And so then I switched to you a shelf that I had in the bathroom, which was also awful lighting. And so finally he's like, I'm going to get you something as like, okay, so then my birthday was right around the corner he surprised me with the vanity and I really light and a new makeup palette and a mirror and all this stuff and he's like, I just really want you to be able to dive into it because when we first started dating, he wasn't actually a big fan of me wearing makeup. And there was one time we went on a date and my makeup was pretty bold and he's like, are you really gonna go out like that?

55:11 And I was like, what do you mean? And he's like, that's kind of a lot and I was like if you have a problem with this and you have a problem with you need to go to prom with me, then we're not meant to be in, because this is me and he's like, oh, okay. I just never saw myself as dating somebody. That's a guy that wears makeup and I was like, well, I'm not your average guy. So either take it orally that and he's like, oh, okay. Okay, and it took him a second to come around and he's like, oh, I actually do like it. And now there's times where all Glam up for tick, tock videos. But by the time he gets home, it's already all on. What did you take it? All off. I wanted to see it. I'm like, oh sorry. Yeah, you've got some really great looks. You're able to do a lot of those Renditions really well, and I love your wigs.

55:56 You've got a nice selection of wigs, addictive, isn't it? You cannot stop. I tell you. What does a normal day look like in the life of Gabe when you're not posting, when you're not on social media. Usually spending time with either my dog that's in the background. I just got her a month and a half a gallon or I'm with my husband or with my family and yeah, gave. It was such a pleasure to speak with you. Thank you so much for coming on today. Wishing you all the best. Thank you so much for having this is great.