Episode 58: Dr. Leonaura Rhodes - The Beauty of Positive Psychology

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Hello, beautiful humans.
Welcome to the human Beauty

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movement podcast.
I'm your host Jennifer Norman.

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Throughout my life, I've been a
lover and a seeker of all things

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beauty from art and dance to
cosmetics, and fashion to music

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and nature.
But through my own personal

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Journey.
I've come to discover what I

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believe is the most beautiful
thing.

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In the universe, the beauty of
the human soul, on this podcast,

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I sit down with beautiful humans
from all corners.

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Of the globe and all walks of
life to learn how they are

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living their own unique, Soul
Beauties out loud.

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You'll hear from game changers.
Rebels with great causes stages

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odds, feeders and Valiant
Warriors who fall down seven

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times and get up eight.
This is the podcast where

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abundant energy flows and
supreme wisdom is bestowed.

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Get ready to enjoy the
inspiration.

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Hello, beautiful humans.
I'm Jennifer Norman founder of

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the human Beauty movement.
Your host.

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So as we know, it is a fact.
We all want to be healthier and

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happier, but sometimes we just
don't know.

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The best ways to do it,
especially when we're trying to

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balance work family and all the
other rousing aspects of Our

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Lives.
My next guest knows a thing or

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two about Preparing People to
thrive meet dr.

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Leah Nora roads, Lea Nora is a
physician turned executive coach

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and corporate trainer.
She's passionate about health

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and guides people on their
Journeys to be coming.

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I'm their best selves.
She's also part of the human

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Beauty movement where she
provides truly profound Wellness

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instruction in corporate and
Community paths.

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Welcome Lea, Nora.
Thank you so much for having me

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on the show.
Jennifer, I'm so delighted to

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host you here.
So now you've got to tell us for

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many years.
You were a practicing physician.

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You received your medical degree
from the University of

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Manchester and a master's in
public health.

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From the University of London,
can you tell us about your early

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work?
Yeah.

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So when I was about, 12 years
old, I did a school project on

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health inequalities basically,
and I discovered that many

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people in the world didn't have
the same access to healthcare

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and, you know, didn't have
access to good food.

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It was a project about women in
Africa, being convinced to buy

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bottle milk for their babies.
When they couldn't afford it,

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and they didn't have access to
clean water.

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And, and I, it just really got
me kind of thinking about, you

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know, about health and about the
world.

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And I just Kind of decided
overnight, I was going to become

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a doctor and so I'd always been
interested in science.

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My uncle is a science Professor
biology, professor and Medicine

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seemed so fascinating to me.
So the years went by and I was

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lucky enough to get into medical
school and her get through all

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of the training, it's different
in the UK than it is in the

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state's.
It's five years straight from

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being 18 and then into being a
junior doctor and who?

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That was intense?
I have to say, I found the years

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And I did three years in
hospitals and I loved many

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aspects of it.
It was pretty exhausting and

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intense and I had mental health
problems.

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Then I had a period of time
where I was thinking about

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harming myself.
My job was so awful and I was

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getting bullied and just kind of
grim times I look back now and I

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realized I had no tools, even
though I'd been through medical

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school and Psychiatry training.
I had tools to look after my own

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mental health, so I left No
medicine became a general

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practitioner, that was my dream
job.

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And within weeks, I realized I
hated it and it was kind of one

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of those be careful what you
wish for moments, where it was

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what I'd always wanted to do and
I started doing it.

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And I was like, oh my God, I
can't do this for the rest of my

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life.
It was just awful.

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And so I did a year of that
qualified to be a general,

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practitioner in the UK and then
I became a public health doctor,

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and so that's very different
field.

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It's about health promotion,
preventing illness, helping

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communities become healthy,
rather than just individual

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people.
And I love being able to kind of

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look at.
And how do we change small

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things to be able to
dramatically impact health?

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And then my two kids came along
and both were very sick.

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Both nearly died when they were
infants and I had to take a

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prolonged career break from
medicine and during that career

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break, I started training to be
a counselor.

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And then a coach, and I
discovered I loved coaching

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coaching work for me was it was
about accepting where you are

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now and deciding where you
wanted to get to and then doing

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it as quickly as we possibly
could.

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I remember when I discovered
coaching I was like this is it,

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this is her.
This is what I want really want

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to be doing with my life.
So since then, I've been a coach

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for 17 years, I did go back to
medicine as a developmental

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pediatrician for a few years and
then my husband said, How about

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moving to America and he really,
really wants to come.

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So I kind of, you know, I said
yes.

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And then started researching and
realized I couldn't work in the

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states as a physician.
It's about four years,

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retraining, and I had little
kids at the time, it was like,

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you know, it seemed way too
difficult.

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So I decided to pick up with the
coaching again, and I've been

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coaching in the States ever
since for the last 15 years and

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started adding in corporate
Wellness, probably about 10

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years ago and I love it.
I'm so blessed to be one of

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those people that has a job that
I really love.

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That's incredible.
I think that so many people can

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relate to the fact that you
sometimes have a dream early in

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life and it is a dream, you
think?

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Oh my life will be so idyllic if
I get into this and then once

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you get there, it's like, oh
wait a minute, this was not what

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I expected.
This was not what I thought it

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would be and a lot of people.
Gosh, they've gone through the

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five years of schooling or
they've got parents that are

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looking at them.
We've just paid all of this

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money for Education.
You can't stop this and you need

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to continue.
And so people continue living in

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live, that they're not really
very happy about and feel stuck,

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I think.
And it's nice that you

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recognized after a period of
time that, you know, mentally,

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you didn't have the tools, you
sought those tools environment

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that you were in.
It wasn't one that really suited

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you very well.
So you were able to make shifts

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and get out.
And so that is a lesson unto

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itself.
If is like if something is not

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feeling, right?
If something is really not

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working for you, it's okay to
just cut loose cut ties isn't it

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and move on and carry forth from
there.

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Yeah it's funny I not funny but
I nearly died of covid a couple

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years ago but I always knew that
life was very precious, you

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know, and we kind of oh it's all
personal responsibility to live

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our best life but that incident
really reinforced it for me, you

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know, you've got to be happy.
Otherwise, the life can be a bit

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of drudgery otherwise.
So I Really believe in seeking

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ways to be happy and egocentric
way, but I really believe that

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happy people can be there for
other people.

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They have the energy to be able
to help others and to be

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present.
So, happiness is a gift to other

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people as well.
Yeah.

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And I also find it interesting.
As you were saying about getting

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into health care and working in
a hospital medicine and the

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practice or the science of it,
it's not necessarily Wellness.

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There is a difference, isn't
there?

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R.
Yes.

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Absolutely.
And it was funny, you know, I

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qualified as a doctor 30 years
ago, I'm showing my age there

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and we received zero training on
diet and we now know that poor

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diet is like one of the biggest
factors in chronic disease and

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we'd literally had zero
training.

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It's really quite remarkable and
so, yeah, I think medicine is

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very, very slowly changing.
I think there's a bit more

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Integrative Medicine.
And holistic medicine coming in,

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for sure.
But still, you know, it's the

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practice of making sick people,
okay?

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And I've done some training in
positive psychology, and the

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idea of that is that normal
psychology is helping people get

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from very sick to being, okay,
but positive psychology.

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And I think positive Health as
well as about taking people from

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being sit, to being well.
And you used one of my favorite

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word's earlier to thriving and
preventing illness.

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Us before it takes a hold.
So I love that things have

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changed a lot since I qualified
and I think there's so much that

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we can do to take personal
responsibility for health.

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It's not guaranteed you do have
a client and a good friend at

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the minute who are suffering
from cancer.

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And if you looked at what they
did health-wise, they were

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pretty near perfect.
And so health is not guaranteed

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but you certainly stack the odds
in your favor if you have

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healthy lifestyle habits.
Absolutely.

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So, there is No question that
you have a passion for helping

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other people.
I think that early on just even

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your 12 year old story about
hearing about these women and

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Africa and knowing that your
heart poured out for helping

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others to have better lives.
And so that went into your early

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decision to go into medicine.
And then more suitably.

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Now for you to go into coaching
you've gotten so many

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certifications, this really has
helped you to become uniquely,

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able to understand People's
Health and particularly brain

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health.
Can you talk a little bit about

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your work in brain health, my
Fascination for brain, health

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began, when I was a
developmental pediatrician, I

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was diagnosing and treating kids
with autism ADHD, You Down

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syndrome, learning disabilities
and it really struck me.

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How incredibly fascinating it
was the different ways that the

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human brain can work and it's
this huge spectrum and so I

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became fascinated with that then
and kind of started studying it

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from a professional perspective
but it also It kind of went hand

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in hand with an obsession.
I had very severe depression at

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one stage.
And there was a book that saved

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my life called The Art of
Happiness by the Dalai Lama.

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And there was a chapter in this
book about suffering being

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optional.
And I remember reading this page

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in this book, and I kind of
stopped, and I was like, hang on

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a minute.
Did I miss this class and

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school?
Did my mother forget to tell me

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that pain and loss.
Are inevitable parts of life but

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suffering is optional.
And I just heard that one of

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those aha moments.
And then I sat in cried for a

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while because it was like, oh my
goodness.

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I have been allowing myself to
suffer so much.

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So then I became obsessed with
human wellness and with kind of

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mental wellness.
And like you said, I've done

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certifications in it.
But actually, most of my

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knowledge comes from obsessive
reading.

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I've read so many books on brain
health, and psychology, and

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neuropsychology.
And I think it's fascinating and

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you know, we know so little
about how the brain and mind

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work like a tiny bit of it.
And I think it's really powerful

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to know that we are more in
control of our brain and mind.

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Then we, then we know and that
we can cause great shifts by

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doing fairly simple things.
I think that I was given that

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book by two different people
over the course of my life and I

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have two equally as
life-changing, it was one of the

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most wonderful books and you
know really talking about the

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value of every living thing even
insects You know, according to

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Buddhism and whatnot.
It like everything in life is

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precious and joy is something
that you can feel.

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And I almost feel that now it
is, there is this interesting

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Collision, this wonderful
colliding of mental health,

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emotional, health, spiritual
health.

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And sometimes you don't know the
difference in tease out that,

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you know, the difference of one
of the other.

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It's like if you have a healthy
mindset is that your spirit

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talking or is it that, you know,
you just are training yourself

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in brain health and work.
Yourself out of certain of these

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ills that we might be facing.
Yeah, you're so right.

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I think it almost doesn't
benefit us to think about which

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that is causing the health
because it's all tied in and to

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just fix up that that we're
doing something that's good for

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us.
Yeah.

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Yeah.
It's all holistic for sure.

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Yeah.
What do you think is the state

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of people's mental health or
Wellness today as you kind of

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see it and are going out and
doing your work?

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I mean I think we are Probably
finishing a mental health

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crisis.
I think we may have been facing

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one for many years.
I remember the American

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Psychological Association does a
stress survey every year, and I

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think about five years ago, it
said we are facing an epidemic

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of depression, and anxiety at
record levels.

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And so, I think it's been there
for a while covid for a lot of

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people push them over the edge.
I think it was very difficult

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for a lot of people and I think
some people Liv come out of it.

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Now, and are bribing because of
what they learned during covid,

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and all the uncertainty, and the
different ways of living and

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different ways of working.
But I think it's left some

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people quite fragile and
damaged.

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That's what I see going on.
And I think there is a huge

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opportunity at the moment to
help people become more mentally

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healthy, and I think it's on
society to take responsibility

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for that.
And I see, as you mentioned

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earlier, I work with businesses
also, and I think the businesses

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that are investing in their
people right now, are going to

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reap huge returns in the years
to come.

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And I think the businesses that
are ignoring, it are going to

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suffer because you people have
to be well in most businesses.

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Your people are, you know what
makes the magic happen?

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Yeah, exactly.
And so what are you seeing?

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As far as the businesses that
sign up and say, yeah, we get

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it, we see it, we know about the
great resignation, we know about

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by quitting and all of these
things, and we are doing what we

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can.
To avoid that, and to prevent

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burnout.
And, you know, we're here for

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our people.
What should we do?

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Like, what would be your take
on, what the leading employers

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businesses are doing for their
people?

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So, I think offering Wellness
information.

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It was amazes me how, you know,
often, people don't know, some

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pretty basic stuff.
Like we touched on are bad

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nutrition.
If the doctors don't know about

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nutrition.
Then, how the heck, the people

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been to know about it.
And so I think offering good T,

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Wellness information?
Is it place to start?

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Because not everybody knows some
of the really basic stuff and

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some businesses.
It's like a monthly Wellness

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presentation.
Some will do something that goes

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a little bit deeper.
I've had businesses that have

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done, like, six weeks, Stress
Management, Programs, or strict,

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six-week mental resilience
programs.

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And that allows you to go a lot
deeper.

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And then some businesses are
also offering coaching.

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I coach for a big media company
and I think, you know the people

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who You've coaching really see
the benefits from it.

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I think a business has to figure
out what they can afford and

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what they want to make available
to their people.

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But I think when they do people
feel cared about and seen and

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heard and understood and not
just seen as a number or a cog

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in the wheel.
Absolutely, I was looking at a

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study recently, I think it was
the World Health Organization

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that said, for the companies
that do invest in Wellness for

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their employees, just like a 400
to 600 percent.

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Roi benefit on what they're
spending because they're having

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less absenteeism, they're having
higher productivity, they're

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having a higher stick rate, the
quality of their products is

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better and their services is
better.

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So there's so many reasons why
companies should invest in and

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not just look at that as a
budget item, but it is something

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that is going to help them
progressively to your point when

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in the long run.
Yeah.

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And I think it's particularly
important for businesses that

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have gone totally virtual
because what I hear, From

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employees who are facing the
lack of one-on-one.

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And the Deep relationships that
you build, when you are able to

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meet people in person that has
to be kind of replaced in some

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way, and it's hard to do just in
calls assist.

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You know, you just don't really
build the same level of

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connection and I think a lot of
the leaders that I work with are

305
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seeing that, you know,
productivity, in some ways has

306
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gone up, but engagement is often
down, especially in meetings,

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and I think It's a good time to
get creative about how they

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Bridge those gaps that virtual
world has created.

309
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Yeah, absolutely.
Because you are entrenched in

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these sorts of programs, and
you've been coaching for so many

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years.
He, there are people who are

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living with, chronic stress,
anxiety, depression fatigue.

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You were one of those people and
you were able to rise out of it.

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And also had a big Health scare
recently with the covid

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happening and also were able to
see the good side.

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Now, a lot of times we go
through the Things and I almost

317
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liken it to being like we can
have a nervous breakdown or we

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can have a nervous break
through.

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And so it's up to us there to
decide on how that is going to

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play out.
Maybe that suffering is

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optional, but how in the world
do we get away from it?

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How does somebody who is living
in this place of just, you know,

323
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this chronic negativity, but
they want to have health, they

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do want to have happiness, they
want to have abundance, they

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just don't know how to get
there.

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What would be for somebody
getting from the This place of

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being overwhelmed to thriving to
feeling powerful in our lives.

328
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Yeah.
Well, the first thing I would

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say is, I think the, I would
really urge people, if their

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level of suffering, especially
anxiety depression.

331
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Any other mental health symptoms
is significantly high, and is

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therefore, more than a couple of
weeks, I would really recommend

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that they go and see a doctor
because sometimes medical

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problems can show up.
As mental health.

335
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Problems are really simple.
Anxiety is anemia.

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Wear your red.
Blood count is low.

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That can often show up as
fatigue and feeling depressed.

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So, I would urge people go and
see your doctor have basic

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screening tests.
Done to make sure there isn't

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anything physical going on
because you can do a lot for

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mental health, but if you're
fighting against a physical

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problem, it's like trying to
swim upstream so that would be

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the first thing to say.
And I think there are some

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people, the level where they are
mentally unwell enough to need

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psychiatric or psychological
intervention.

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And I have to say with clients
that come to me, who I am

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worried that they might have
those, I will say to them, I

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will not work with you unless
you're also seeing a

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psychiatrist or a psychologist
and not all coaches.

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Do that worries me about the
profession.

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I think we need to be very
careful about that my going back

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to being a doctor you know.
One of the caveats is Do no harm

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and I think there is a potential
to do harm if the wrong people

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are caring for you.
So so that's the best thing to

355
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say.
So you mentioned when something

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bad happens.
You can either Thrive or you can

357
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suffer and from the world of
positive psychology.

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There's some very interesting
research on this and a lot of

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the research was done in
veterans who've been in war

360
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situations and what the research
shows is that bow to a half of

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the people go through a period
of suffering and stress and

362
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coping with trauma, and they
have kind of a dip in mental

363
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health, but they fairly quickly
recover.

364
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So that's about half of the
people and they kind of go back

365
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to where they were before.
Or back to their kind of

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homeostatic.
Line about a quarter of people

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will end up with PTSD where they
have significant.

368
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:48,900
Mental health problems that are
impacting their ability to live

369
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a normal life and then quarter
who Thrive goes through that

370
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period of transition because it
would be unusual if you weren't

371
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affected mentally by something
extremely traumatic and those

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quarter end up to their
beginning line was here but they

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end up here.
And so then positive psychology,

374
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they studied.
What's the?

375
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Prince between the people here
and the people here.

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And so there are seven things,
I'll tell you them quickly.

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One is experiencing positive
emotion regularly and simply put

378
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doing things that make you
happy.

379
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Things that make you laugh.
Things that bring you excitement

380
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or Joy, or any of those kind of
wonderful positive emotions.

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00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,600
The next thing is to do things
where you're really engaged and

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that can be doing something that
you find fun, or exciting, or it

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00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:38,200
could be mindfulness practice
because When we do mindfulness

384
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:43,100
practice we're engaged in our
breath or focus on on something

385
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:46,800
other than just all sorts.
So engagements the next thing

386
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:50,500
then relationships and they need
to be positive ones.

387
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:54,100
So, having good friends having
Community, this was one of the

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00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:56,200
things we're in with the
veterans.

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00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,300
They did the most intervention,
they would put them in groups,

390
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:02,400
they would have them doing
social things together and it

391
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,000
had a really big impact.
And I think it was one of the

392
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:09,000
reasons why people struggle so
much to Covid because social

393
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:13,300
connection was so difficult.
And zoom call is great, but it's

394
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not the same as being in person.
So then the next thing is

395
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,700
meaning and purpose finding
things that are really

396
00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:22,800
meaningful to you things that
you really care about that.

397
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,900
You're passionate about then
accomplishment, which is doing

398
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:28,600
things that make you feel like
you're making progress in life.

399
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,400
One of my clients told me a
quote today.

400
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:34,200
I've never heard this before,
stagnation is a slow death.

401
00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:36,900
And so we need to feel that
we're a company.

402
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:40,600
Polishing things and they don't
need to be like Hugh things, it

403
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,400
can be checking off your to-do
list.

404
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,300
It can be doing something good
for somebody else.

405
00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:48,200
So it's the smallest compliments
that are really good for us.

406
00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:51,700
Next is brain health, so doing
things that keep your brain

407
00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:55,300
healthy.
Broadly speaking, the mind is

408
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:57,200
the function of the organ of the
brain.

409
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:01,100
So in order to have a healthy
mind, it really helps to have a

410
00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:04,200
healthy brain and body.
It's clearly connected.

411
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But you know, the brain is a
really greedy.

412
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It takes 25% of all your
resources so your oxygen

413
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:15,100
glucose, your blood goes to your
brain, so it's greedy.

414
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So anything that bad that's
going on in your body is going

415
00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:21,400
to really affect your brain.
And then the final piece is

416
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,900
doing things that help you
become more resilient doing

417
00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:28,400
things that help you and that
teacher program and resilience.

418
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:32,900
So doing things like looking for
the silver lining in a negative

419
00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:36,100
situation, it can be really hard
to do, especially in the

420
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:38,900
immediate aftermath A mask, but
in the long run, if you can

421
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:41,600
learn to find the good in the
bad things that happen, I did

422
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,000
that with covid.
I went through probably two

423
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,900
months of really suffering
mentally after having covid and

424
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:50,800
then I became pretty determined.
I've got to find the good in

425
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,800
nurse because otherwise I'm
going to be miserable.

426
00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:57,100
So that was kind of this body of
research from positive

427
00:22:57,100 --> 00:23:01,200
intelligence says, to do those
seven things and people who do

428
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,800
those things regularly and if
they're not feeling good, they

429
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,000
kind of look at the seven
things.

430
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,300
And they say, what's Sing for me
right now and what can I do?

431
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,500
Yeah.
Brilliant.

432
00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:14,500
Those seven things are so
tangible for people to really be

433
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:16,700
able to make an impact on their
lives.

434
00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:19,300
To be able to say hello.
I am, I nurturing myself with

435
00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:23,300
positive emotions and my
stretching myself in terms of,

436
00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:26,500
you know, making sure that I'm
on the right track on all of

437
00:23:26,508 --> 00:23:28,800
these things.
The one question that I have in

438
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,800
terms of resiliency training
because I think some people

439
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,100
might associate that with
putting up or tolerating a bad

440
00:23:35,100 --> 00:23:37,100
situation, it's like building up
Up.

441
00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:39,000
And how do you know that if
you're not prolonging the

442
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,300
suffering is like, okay.
I'm building my resiliency, I'm

443
00:23:41,300 --> 00:23:44,400
building tolerance.
I, this is a toxic situation,

444
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,400
but I must metal through it,
because I'm just getting

445
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,000
stronger.
And I'm able to deal with it.

446
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:52,600
Like, what would be some tips or
some indicators to enable

447
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:56,800
somebody to see very clearly?
If there is a situation where,

448
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,700
okay, this is something that I
can build up resiliency for see

449
00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:03,500
the good good and overcome.
It's just an eventual thing, or

450
00:24:03,500 --> 00:24:06,400
this is not healthy.
So I think that's a really great

451
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,100
question.
And I think it begins with

452
00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:14,200
monitoring how are feeling
regularly and pausing when we

453
00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:18,100
spot that we're in a negative
emotional state, a lot of people

454
00:24:18,100 --> 00:24:20,400
don't do that.
We're so busy that we kind of

455
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,600
Zoom through life and we don't
take a pause and just say, how

456
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:26,500
am I feeling right now?
I have my clients draw and it's

457
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:30,500
a simple line that goes from
minus 10 to +10 with a zero in

458
00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:33,500
the middle.
And I tell them to keep it they

459
00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:36,600
like on their computer or they
put it somewhere whether they'll

460
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,000
see it.
I often and they just kind of

461
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,600
check in where am I on the scale
of minus 10, being the worst

462
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,500
feeling I've ever felt in my
whole life up to plus 10, being

463
00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:47,800
the best feeling I've ever felt.
Most people spend most their

464
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:51,900
time probably six points, either
side of zero and I think you

465
00:24:51,908 --> 00:24:54,100
know to get good at kind of
monitoring where you are.

466
00:24:54,100 --> 00:24:57,400
I have one client who used to
come to me every session to be

467
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,500
like, oh my God, my stress is so
off the charts and she'd like

468
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:02,900
talk at me for 5 minutes,
telling me all of these, all

469
00:25:02,900 --> 00:25:05,300
things matter.
So where are you on the

470
00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:08,900
well-being scale and should be
I'm a minus one and it's like,

471
00:25:08,900 --> 00:25:11,100
really?
You just tell me all of these

472
00:25:11,100 --> 00:25:14,400
things and you just a minus 1
and she suddenly go, oh my

473
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,200
goodness.
You're right.

474
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:19,100
She was causing yourself a lot
of suffering and dramatizing

475
00:25:19,100 --> 00:25:22,400
what was going on and making it
feel so much worse.

476
00:25:22,500 --> 00:25:26,400
And when she paused, and just
said, am I actually feeling it

477
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:30,000
actually wasn't that bad?
And so when people can start to

478
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,600
notice, you know, when they're
heading in the - and to take a

479
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:37,300
pause and say, do I want to go
there because you can't Choose

480
00:25:37,300 --> 00:25:40,400
to suffer, I've had periods
where I'm like, I want to be

481
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,600
miserable for a day but then
it's a decision that you make,

482
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:46,700
you know, you want to kind of do
well and navel gaze for a bit

483
00:25:47,100 --> 00:25:49,900
and that's just fine if you're
doing it consciously.

484
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:54,500
Yeah, but if you notice that
you're feeling a negative way

485
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,300
for long periods and you're not
doing anything about it, then

486
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,700
that's kind of on you or
prolonging your own suffering

487
00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:03,800
and you should do something
about it.

488
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,800
So, there's three steps to
developing resilience.

489
00:26:07,100 --> 00:26:10,500
Number one, noticing when you're
feeling negative, thoughts and

490
00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:14,400
negative feelings and
challenging them and saying this

491
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,200
is not serving me.
I don't want to feel this way

492
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:21,600
and then you take a pause and
you do some mindfulness practice

493
00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:24,700
and I used to do a pickle
neurofeedback, which was a so

494
00:26:24,700 --> 00:26:26,900
that people's brain wave
activities while they did

495
00:26:26,900 --> 00:26:29,900
different tasks.
It was a really cool and when I

496
00:26:29,900 --> 00:26:33,600
talk people to meditate, you
would start to see dramatic

497
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,500
shifts in brain wave activity
within two minutes.

498
00:26:36,900 --> 00:26:39,800
The first time I saw it was like
it's like magic.

499
00:26:40,100 --> 00:26:43,500
It's like how can that be, how
can it be that quick deep

500
00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:45,800
diaphragmatic breathing?
That kind of thing.

501
00:26:45,900 --> 00:26:48,900
It can change your brain
activity within two minutes

502
00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:52,700
remarkable.
And when you do that, you calm

503
00:26:52,700 --> 00:26:56,900
the stressed part of your brain
and you activate the wise part

504
00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:58,300
of your brain.
They're totally different

505
00:26:58,300 --> 00:27:02,200
regions of the brain.
And we call this the sage, the

506
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:06,400
wise, Sage part of your brain.
And you asked the wise Sage,

507
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,800
what is True.
And what should I do?

508
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,400
And that's how you develop
resilience it isn't from.

509
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,600
Like you mentioned it isn't from
just putting up with the

510
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,000
situation that is awful.
And hoping that one day it will

511
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,300
get better.
Because that's kind of ignoring

512
00:27:20,300 --> 00:27:23,200
that first step of I feel really
bad.

513
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,200
Nobody should getting really bad
for long periods of time.

514
00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:29,600
Wow, those are some really
interesting tips for people to

515
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,800
really understand and be able to
place themselves in better

516
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,400
situations going forward and
develop healthy resiliency.

517
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:37,400
Yes.
Exactly.

518
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:41,300
Yeah, resiliency doesn't mean
tolerating a negative situation,

519
00:27:41,300 --> 00:27:44,200
for sure.
Yeah, good distinction, Little,

520
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,400
Italy and Nora.
You have also written a few

521
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,500
books.
One is called Beyond soccer mom.

522
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:51,800
And then more recently wrote a
book called Life by Design.

523
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,500
Can you tell us what they're
about?

524
00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:58,300
Yeah, so beyond soccer, mom was
the book that I wanted when my

525
00:27:58,300 --> 00:28:02,100
kids were little and I was
really unhappy with my life, you

526
00:28:02,108 --> 00:28:03,900
know?
I loved being a mother, I had to

527
00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:06,200
give up my career because my
kids were both sick and they

528
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:10,000
needed me to Around for them.
But I kind of went into a spiral

529
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:15,200
of kind of losing confidence
total disruption of identity.

530
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:19,200
I felt like, I didn't know who I
was, and it was very difficult

531
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,200
period.
So I wrote the book that I

532
00:28:21,208 --> 00:28:23,200
wished I'd had, then I didn't
know what to do.

533
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,900
And as I mentioned earlier, I
found that art of happiness and

534
00:28:25,900 --> 00:28:28,800
the Art of Happiness, was kind
of the starting point, but it

535
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:32,700
didn't answer the whole question
of like, how do you thrive while

536
00:28:32,700 --> 00:28:35,400
you're raising children and
still have a really good life?

537
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,400
And I think it's really
important for mothers and

538
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,900
fathers anybody in a parenting
situation to thrive while

539
00:28:41,900 --> 00:28:45,100
they're raising their children
because it's good for the child

540
00:28:45,100 --> 00:28:48,200
to it's win-win.
So beyond soccer mum.

541
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:52,300
The idea was it helped you kind
of discover who you are and then

542
00:28:52,300 --> 00:28:56,100
build a life that will make you
happy and healthy going forward

543
00:28:56,100 --> 00:28:59,800
and be able to enjoy the journey
of raising kids because it's

544
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:07,300
difficult quick summary of
raising its obstacle Was beyond

545
00:29:07,300 --> 00:29:09,200
soccer mum.
It's a physical book.

546
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,400
I also wrote some books for
publishing firms, and then last

547
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:16,200
year, I decided a lot of my
clients are not parents and I

548
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,400
decided that I wanted to take,
you know, the best bits of

549
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,300
Beyond soccer mom and turn them
into a book that was more

550
00:29:22,300 --> 00:29:24,900
General.
So I've always loved the kind of

551
00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:28,900
concept of Designing, the life
that you want to be living of

552
00:29:28,900 --> 00:29:33,700
kind of taking responsibility,
taking control and designing it

553
00:29:33,700 --> 00:29:36,100
the way you want it.
Like I said, life is short and

554
00:29:36,100 --> 00:29:36,900
really precious.
This.

555
00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:39,600
Why not live the life?
You want to be living as soon as

556
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,200
possible.
So that was Life by Design.

557
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,500
It's also a course and I love
it.

558
00:29:43,500 --> 00:29:46,800
It's a great starting point for
anybody who wants to explore the

559
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,600
world of personal development.
So yeah, I'm pretty proud of

560
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:54,400
both of those, I love writing.
So yeah, I think Journey, I'm a

561
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:58,300
big proponent of being able to
sit in silence and get quiet to

562
00:29:58,300 --> 00:30:00,300
the point of meditation.
A lot of people think that

563
00:30:00,308 --> 00:30:02,800
you're just sitting there doing
nothing, but so much work

564
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,400
happens.
When you're doing nothing.

565
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,600
And when you just dig inside of
yourself because you are Will to

566
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,700
get to that place where you get
to know yourself and to your

567
00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:13,000
point of not really
understanding your identity.

568
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,400
It really helps, you know what
you're feeling and get in touch

569
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:20,800
with your inner being so that
you can then manifest and design

570
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,400
your life as you wish.
And you're not at the whim of

571
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:26,300
other forces, more than
anything, you are able to

572
00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:29,700
control the outcomes of the
situations that you're put into,

573
00:30:29,700 --> 00:30:31,900
because you're not in a victim
mindset.

574
00:30:31,900 --> 00:30:35,600
You're in a lab in a very
empowered and leading my own

575
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,000
life in the way that I wish.
Wish to lead it mindset.

576
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,200
And so I think that all of those
things that you're helping to

577
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,900
inform people of is so so
beneficial and needed for people

578
00:30:45,900 --> 00:30:48,000
to really feel happy and to
thrive.

579
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,100
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think another thing to

580
00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:52,400
know about life is it's really
unpredictable.

581
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:55,400
And the interesting thing is
even though it is unpredictable,

582
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:59,200
the people who are more
conscious and more deliberate

583
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:02,600
about how they live their life,
they tend to have a better life

584
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,500
than people who are just like,
well, I'll just they plod

585
00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:08,400
through.
I've kind of just settling for

586
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,900
what comes their way.
So even though you might set

587
00:31:10,900 --> 00:31:15,000
goals and you might not achieve
the perfect outcome that you

588
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,300
wanted, you will still achieve a
better outcome than if you

589
00:31:18,300 --> 00:31:21,700
didn't do any goal setting or
any of the deep work.

590
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:26,000
That's my belief on that.
Yeah I was listening to some

591
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,700
lyrics and spoken word the other
day and one of the repeating

592
00:31:30,700 --> 00:31:35,100
affirmations was I am the vision
board like I don't need to look

593
00:31:35,100 --> 00:31:38,400
around 22.
See what I want into my life,

594
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,200
like I create this Vision.
I am the vision board which I

595
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,700
thought was kind of astounding.
Yeah.

596
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:47,100
Yeah.
Would have great concept dr.

597
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:49,800
Leonardo Monroe to thank you so
much for joining me on Role

598
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,100
Models today.
It was a pleasure to speak with

599
00:31:52,100 --> 00:31:54,900
you and I'll put all of your
contact information in the show

600
00:31:54,900 --> 00:31:57,000
notes, so people know where to
find you.

601
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,000
Wonderful.
Thank you so much Jennifer.

602
00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:03,200
Thank you for listening to the
human Beauty movement podcast.

603
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:07,400
Be sure to follow rate and
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604
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,500
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605
00:32:09,500 --> 00:32:12,800
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606
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:16,100
humankind, check out our
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607
00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:20,000
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608
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,400
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609
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:26,700
Movement.com, thank you so much
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