Episode 55: Marni Hill Foderaro - Finding God After Trauma

0:09 Hello. Beautiful human. Welcome to the human Beauty movement podcast. I'm your host Jennifer Norman. Throughout my life, I've been a lover and a seeker of all things beauty from art and dance to cosmetics, and fashion to music and nature. But through my own personal Journey. I've come to discover what I believe is the most beautiful thing. In the universe, the beauty of the human soul. On this podcast, I sit down with beautiful humans. From all corners of the globe and all walks of life to learn how they are living their own unique. Soul Beauty out loud. You'll hear from game changers Rebels with gray causes sages odds, feeders and Valiant Warriors who fall down seven times and get update. This is the podcast where abundant energy flows and supreme wisdom is bestowed.

1:01 Get ready to enjoy the inspiration. Hello, beautiful humans. I'm Jennifer Norman founder of the Due to movement and your host. My guest today is dr. Marnie hill. Far Torero Marnie is an award-winning author. A speaker and an educator. And wow, her story is completely fascinating. First morning spent 35 years as a high school, special education, teacher and 12 years as a university. Adjunct graduate school Professor. Then she went on to receive a Doctorate in Education from Northern Illinois, University, and completed postdoctoral studies at Harvard. Then Marnie went Through some life-changing trauma which caused her to experience. Numerous spiritual encounters, she would then go on to write several books.

1:45 Both fiction and nonfiction inspired by her life transformation. Welcome Marnie. Oh, thank you so much for having me on your show. I'm delighted to be here with you. Now, I understand that you're in the Caribbean right now. Is that true? I am. Yes, I moved here. Three years ago after retiring, from my career, as a teacher, and a lifetime in the Chicago suburbs. Yes, I am in the Caribbean and I love it. Absolutely. Well, will get over to your love of nature in a moment. But first off, I know that after a wonderful career and doing a lot of teaching, and being with some wonderful students, you went through a large life transformation. Can you tell us about that? I guess, you know, very briefly.

2:27 You know, I just decided to make a life change. I left a marriage after 27 years. I knew I needed to stay true to my values of honesty and goodness. Des and love and compassion. And so, I needed to make that change for myself. And, you know, with any kind of big life change comes trauma. And we all experienced trauma on different levels and mine seem to be significant, you know, at the same time, I lost so many things but I gained so much more. Hmm. That is so special. And so, from what I understand, you said that you found God at a garage sale. Can you tell us about that? Well, sure. You know, I actually I was raised atheist. So, without any kind of foundation or exposure to organized, religion, or spirituality. And as I got older, you know, in my college Years, I really sought out some answers to questions. Like, you know, is there more to this earth? You know, there has to be some divine intervention, everything is so beautiful, and there's so many miracles. I just needed some explanation for it. And, you know, then later on in my life, when I had this transition, and I knew that I was making A big life change. You know, instead of having feelings of sadness or anger, I just stayed true to who I always have been a happy, you know, loving accepting person.

3:47 And at this garage sale that I had to have, I had some Miracles that happened that really kind of jolted My reality in such a positive way. It really reassured me that I was on the right path and I was supported and loved by God, you know, so much so that I was compelled to write about In my spiritual fiction, God came to my garage sale which is really inspired by true events. True Miracles that have happened. So can you tell us a little bit about the Miracles that happened at your garage sale? Yeah, yeah sure. I mean, there's so many the one I really like to tell the most because it was just so profound. It was, I was looking back at my home with gratitude and thankfulness and just really in a deep Reflection State.

4:33 And all of a sudden, a dragonfly flew around me and within Them short time. There was like 5, dragonflies, no big deal but then really within about a six to eight minute period, there were about 50 to 100 dragonfly. Circling me and you know, I was in sort of a State of Shock, I wasn't scared. I wasn't, you know, I just knew to sort of stand still and experience this. I could see the dragonflies go down the road and come on back and circle me. I say it was all in slow motion to where I could see the veins of the Wings and The iridescent colors and there were different sizes. I equated with family members, different Generations, babies toddlers, teenagers in a grandparents, and I just felt this feeling of just love and warmth and just I felt secure that I was making the right decision even though it was a very tough life decision to make and it was extremely traumatic on many many levels, it opened up my heart and soul to that dragonfly experience as well as so many other experiences.

5:37 Isis with red Cardinals with specifically dated pennies and very uniquely colored feathers and people that were seem to be from another world. It's like I don't even remember them coming or leaving the garage saling yet I interacted with them and I saw things. Even one of the people levitating from the ground and I remember, looking thinking, are they standing on a boulder? Are they on a crate or something like that? And then I realized there were all these people. Around this person who was raised above the ground and I thought, I don't remember these people being here, I just washed just as if it was a movie and I was very, very clear-headed, I was very, very in tune to everything. And, you know, there was just one amazing Miracle after another and then that really led me on a quest to look into spiritual experiences and encounters. You know, I started to attend ions meetings, which is the International Association for near the studies and listen to people's accounts when they had near-death experiences and things that they just couldn't normally explain that gave me a lot of validation that I did experience some Miracles. And I made some amazing connections with other people. In fact, I know you're in California. The person who wrote the foreword to my book, Barbara bartolome, she is the founding director of ions of Santa Barbara, California and, you know, I've had the opportunity to meet so many people.

7:07 That have also had experiences, and one of the people was James Redfield, who wrote The Celestine Prophecy, and the best-selling series of books and he actually endorsed my book because he really, you know, could really relate to what I experienced. Wow, that's really fascinating. I had actually heard that a lot of our ancestors come back in the form of birds or other, you know creatures. It could be the dragonflies as you have done mentions, which seemed like they were Might have been some ancestors that were coming back to give you that nod of approval and that everything's going to be okay. And, you know, give you a sense of comfort even though it could be daunting because you seeing 150, right dragonflies coming at you.

7:51 That's so, so, fascinating, there was one occasion, where on my 50th birthday? I actually did have some friends over and we did have a ceremony. It was a bonding ceremony and I closed my eyes and all of a sudden I look up and every single one of them turned into what looked like Can Native American Elder like an indigenous tribes person and I just looked around and saw these faces at Lionel. Just like all in unison with me that you know. And here I was just thinking okay I hear I'm at it like almost a rite of passage like turning into my the next chapter of my life. Having just gone through a divorce myself and you know a lot of these turning moments where we are seeking greater purpose and when we're ready and then the universe gives us what we are are willing to absorb or that we're not. Afraid to absorb at those times, and really opens our eyes to a lot of the Mysteries that are beyond that and a lot of them do come for.

8:44 You know, towards people who have these near-death experiences, as you had mentioned, you know, with the association that you're affiliated with, you know, there is a glimpse of the other side. I think when that happened, definitely your experience, you know, was life changing for you? I'm sure it was, it does come when you are ready. That's was really key that you said that, because you have to be, you know, at a stage Your life where you can acknowledge that, you know, you are in a transition state and you are, whether it's subconsciously or consciously seeking some answers, seeking some more, you want some direction, you need some validation. And you know what, a beautiful experience you had, you know, it was it was truly beautiful and you know there are some that might look at experiences like this and say oh I guess you know they're having nervous breakdowns or it wasn't real or you know it was just something that was a figment of their imagination.

9:36 Their mind was running away from them. They're, you know, they need, mental help. You know, there's all sorts of things that I think that people that have a lower vibration or perhaps, you know, are at a different stage of Consciousness, will will not understand and we'll just like, you know, cross off as being whoo. But once you do have recognition that there's so much more to the human form than just what we see. Hence why I started the human Beauty movement is so that people could recognize the beauty that is you know, beyond the human it. Which is to humanity it reaches into the soul of every human. So that everybody recognizes that we are all connected and these profound ways, just beautiful.

10:17 Yeah, I know, I love that you had mentioned that you had such an intrinsic connection with nature and with animals. Can you speak a little bit more about that? Third, you know, well, I've always been drawn to animals. I'm an animal lover and Animal Welfare Advocate. But I, you know, when you have animals look right at you and, you know, Know that they have a soul as well. And so I've always had an appreciation for the animal kingdom and, you know, some of my favorite memories as a child is going to the zoo, even though they're behind, you know, a cage or something like that, I got to experience seeing some other living beings. And so I've always been someone who has loved animals and loved nature and, you know, just the Wonder of it all, you know, just the details it's just always been fascinating to me so much so that you After I left my American Dream situation had this transition and I was retiring from a 35-year career as an educator, I moved to the Caribbean from the Chicago suburbs, and now I live in the rainforest and I'm immersed in nature.

11:24 You know, I never had an appreciation for snakes before, and we have had 21 at least that we know of boa constrictors here on our property and they're not native to To this island that I live on. They are here though and it's still fascinating, you know, never a day goes by without some sort of experience with something in nature. That is just absolutely fascinating. Hmm. My mom had a very special relationship with doves. It's so much so that she and my dad, when they had a company named it double electronic. It was a very spiritual person. And so, every single day when I go outside, I'll go for a walk or what have you?

12:06 If I see a dove Say. Hey Mom, I'm doing well. You know that let her know that I'm doing okay. Because I'm pretty sure. She's just like looking in on us. Checking up on making sure that we're okay. And how wonderful though that you acknowledge her through that because I really believe that in our gut feeling that is the connection that you connect the dove with your mom, that that really is the connection. You know, you are given this download of an intuition we need to follow our gut feelings. And so, you know how nice that you acknowledged her. And I Do the same thing, too. When I am surrounded, I speak to someone by name even though they have departed this plane and have transition to another level. You know it's good to acknowledge them and you hear about people saying that you should acknowledge your angels your Spirit guides you know.

12:55 Speak to them directly. Yeah. Thanks to God directly. You know God please help me God. Thank you for helping me. Yeah. And I do believe in the power of being able to Release to whether people call it God or your Spirit guides or Angels, your higher self. There's always that essence of the fact that we are so much more than we think that we are and by offloading. You know, any of the pain or the ill or the confusion, or the issues at hand, really enables us to find a special moment of quiet and peace and Solitude where that intuition really does start to shine through even stronger. And the more that we practice, the better at it, we get right and you know in life we're all going to have have adversity that we come across.

13:39 We're all going to have challenges and it can look very different for so many different people. But you know, if we handled them with love and compassion and that knowing that there is a higher power that we are supported. You know, it really does help make our day-to-day so much better and helps, you know, look at Humanity in a different way, in a very positive light. So even negative people and negative situations that we encounter, you know? You can learn about that and do a little research and understand the reasons why they present the way they do and not take it. So personally like, you know, we are responsible for that because we're not we can't control what other people do or what other situations come in.

14:23 Front of us, we can only control homes and how we find them. You know I just have found responding to anything positive or negative with a lens of Love is what it is all about, you're exactly right because Because I think that their company comes this tendency where we're very quick and we snap to judgments, you know, somebody cuts you off you know, on the road. Or if somebody says something to you, that was probably unintentional or perhaps intentional, but it's all of a sudden. Well, that, you know, that person's intercourse. All right. You know, you did and there's this, you know, a lack of compassion and it kind of others us from that person rather than getting to the understanding. And that, and that feeling that gosh, I really feel bad for that person because what must have happened. In their lives to make them feel this way or react. This way are caused them to behave in that way because, you know, events are unto themselves neutral, it's really just everybody's reaction to them.

15:17 That causes all this interesting contrast among men and women. I had actually heard this person giving what was I think they considered it advice. I would not have considered it advice, but he was saying, you know, any time that you follow your feelings or your emotions, you are going to fail, you really need to have mine and force out, you know, those feelings. He's like you otherwise you'd never get out of bed otherwise. And I was thinking like, oh man, that's probably the worst thing I've ever heard. And I feel that that was probably the way that I lived. My life up until, you know, maybe only four or five years ago. It was like this forcing and this efforting, and this feeling like I needed to get ahead. I needed to do, do do and action and react, and all of those things in order to be able to get to a certain place, whether it be a career or what have you, but it was the absolute wrong way. I had to unlearn Everything that I had been trained to do since I was young.

16:11 And I know, just start fresh and recognize the power of flow of intention of Attraction of, you know, all of the things that otherwise really do work, much greater and more powerful magic in the universe than all right. And we need to quiet our minds, you know, we need to take time for self-reflection and you know just because we can acknowledge that someone else is kind of you know Maybe on a different plane of vibration or whatever it is. You know, it doesn't mean we need to drop our boundaries completely and let them into our own day-to-day lives. But we can, at least have love and compassion and understanding, you know, to not take things personally.

16:53 And to realize that, you know, we are just beautiful souls. And if we can stop and reflect on the beauty of everything and slow down a little bit, we will be less to judge others. As well, hmm. So, true, so true. I would love to hear about your experience in education with special needs individuals. I understand that that's where you made most of your career or earlier on. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Sure, you know. Well, I was a special education teacher for 35 years and, you know, I worked with all different levels. But primarily it was at the high school level and I just felt, it was a calling, even though I come from a family of Educators. I didn't originally set out to be an education, very much. Like what you were talking about when I started college at a very young age, I went right into business and thought I would, you know, to go be a successful was the way, you know, I should focus my career and my education but you know, one thing led to another and I was drawn to the field of education and specifically special education and I believe that, you know, all human beings have worth no matter what their challenges. Is are you know they label people you know disable these are this is a disability and I think the labels serve a purpose in that you could get funding for certain programs and that type of thing.

18:17 But unfortunately labels have just a detrimental effect for those individuals that are labeled, you know, because they feel that they're different. Even people that are gifted which you would think would be on the other Spectrum, very positive. They don't want to be singled out and made to feel different. They want to be with their friends and be Be like everyone else. And so as a teacher, I just felt I was so honored to be able to interact with these beautiful individuals and let them know that they had worst and that we all have different learning challenges and that they should embrace the gifts that they have. And, you know, always look on the positive side because there are so many positives and that the labels are the type of classroom there in doesn't necessarily Define them and because of that kind of philosophical level. Is that I was looking at them through. I also was someone who didn't really get into teaching content as much as I was teaching the individual and, you know, especially in this day and age, you know, we're able to get information if we went to learn about a particular subject, you know, there are many different search engines or ways to research to learn about things.

19:28 And so what I tried to do as a teacher was encouraged the love of learning and to encourage researching. And that is something that my late Eight mother encouraged in me. You know, when I wanted to learn about something understand something, even if I wanted something physical, she actually said, you need to research about it, look into it get information so you can make an informed decision. And I think that had a big impact on how I approached, you know, learning in the classroom. Mmm, that's beautiful. You know, I have a son who is special needs as well to me when I spend time with him or when anybody's Runs any time with him.

20:08 They feel such love. They feel this overwhelming sense of compassion. I remember when my mom was alive and she used to spend time with him, she would see how others would be. And then when they would come into His presence and leave, they were changed, they were really just like their hearts just Port cracked open and they love wood. And she said to me, you know what, he's changing people and I said this is exactly why he's here and for anybody who would invalidate the rationale of somebody who is Is in his condition, you know, being on this Earth or just deserving life or deserving to be on this Earth. It's just that I don't know if there is an awareness or recognition of the power of spirit and soul that is working its magic in visibly and energetically in other people. Maybe not so much in the physical and what he can do or push around or, you know, enjoy from that perspective. But he's doing some real powerful work. I call him my little wizard because you know, that's his superpower for sure.

21:05 And yeah, I like See, a lot of special needs children adults as being like angels that came down on this Earth to teach us these valuable lessons to teach us a tolerance and kindness and compassion and understanding. Sometimes it shows the contrast in people who don't see that too. And I know where there's still work to do or you know what differentiates a certain people from others definitely. And what we can do to help move the needle and progress towards, you know, continued kindness and love for sure. And I think just having these candid conversations, you know, help bring about the awareness and that will lead to acceptance, you know, just even you mentioning what you did will have a ripple effect that you might not even know how it will impact so many other people. But yes, there's, you know, we can learn and grow from all different people and all different experiences even- situations can be blessings to help us grow and learn on this Earth.

22:04 Absolutely. And speaking of that, I know that you Another five book series, which is called true deceit, false love, I would love to know what inspired that writing and what people could learn from that. Well, sure, you know, the five books series, it's something I never set out to write, but it came out of necessity. The first book, when I had to realize what I was going through, I had to do a deep dive into, not only research, but even into a lot of self-reflection and what made me a Target for certain kinds of situations. And so the first book is 15000 555 terms and phrases on domestic violence and narcissistic abuse and parental alienation. And I also incorporate, you know, addressing intergenerational family trauma, because it's very important to when you're trying to understand why bad things happen to good people and why some relationships. You know, don't work out or how someone could actually abuse another person.

23:03 You have to really look, do a deep dive into your own child. Experiences and family, you know, interactions to start of understand, you know, your own programming. And then if you couple that, with being oblivious to signs and synchronicities, because you're going along busy in your life, you know, raising your kids working, full-time, whatever you don't, pay attention to some red flags, you know, years and years, even decades can go by before you say whoa, wait a minute, this is not healthy. Let me make a change, you know as hard as it's going to be you know let me make it. A change. So that's what started this book. But then I found really maybe it's my teacher background, I don't know. I have a love of words and a love of terminology and just, you know, I believe that words have the power to hurt a lot of people, but they also have the power to heal and can bring about positive outcomes.

23:55 The other books in the series include poetry, you know, across dick and free verse poetry, as well as a survivors workbook. If people find that writing is healing for them to Work out issues, you know, I provide a tool for that and then I actually the fifth book is a word search puzzle book where I just I believe in using a multi-sensory approach to learning things. And maybe that's some of my teacher background. But using a different part of your brain to try to break through. Trauma, you know, because doing word searches if you really sit down to do a word search in some ways, it's relaxing in some ways. It's distracting you from some of the heavy duty. Duty issues you're facing, but it's also informational because I use words and then they're related words under those. And so that's how the five book series came about. And it was prominently endorsed by even researchers in the field of this, you know, family trauma Dynamic situation. So, you know, I was very motivated to do this. It's kind of like a wasn't even work for me. The writing just came out because it was not only healing for me, but I knew that it would help other All is well because other people need to know, you know, they're not alone and whatever challenges they're facing. And so, I could provide some sort of support just to add to the great amount of literature and, you know, podcasts and, you know, that's out there to help people address these family issues for the most part, you

25:26 know, everyone everyone that I've met anyway has some sort of connection to some sort of family trauma, even if it's not their own immediate family, it could be in there. Jay Generation mmm. And so the people who you think are more or less targeted for this type of book are first and foremost, those who have gone through some sort of trauma, or maybe needs to think about identifying, some of the things that may have led them to creating these Cycles in their, in their lives. Is that right? Right. And I believe that you know those people do come out once they realize they've been in a toxic situation, whether it is an unhealthy work relationship, you know, or situation. Whether it's an unhealthy marriage or maybe they might look at some family members and think way, I know I'm related to them and they should have my back, but they really are stepa. Toshing and are, you know, actually causing great harm. And so I think, you know, when people are at the point where they need to, it has gotten so challenging for them, that they need to address it.

26:28 They need to look into this a little bit more. They need to do some self-reflection. I think that is, you know, the book series comes in as just a tool to help people. 'Well, you know identify like even reading some of the terminology that purposely don't put definitions because there is numerous definitions for various terms but I believe in the research aspect of things so that when you look at that and you look up the terminology, you can connect the dots to your own experience and make it more personal for you. Mmm, now I know that there are certain people in my own life, where it's like, I love you. I can't spend any more time with you because it's either to triggering or I just don't have the energy for it in an energy.

27:09 Vampire is etcetera and but what do you say? If somebody is in a situation where it's like they have to interact, I say have to but you know, they are in this situation where they are interacting day in and day out with somebody who's just doesn't meet their energy space or doesn't vibrate the same or perhaps is toxic. Well, that is a wonderful question and I wish I had the perfect answer for it. But as a suggestion, I would say, you know, when You actually acknowledge that you are interacting with someone that you feel, you cannot you know, sever the tie for whatever reason. You know, you have children together, they're related. You know they're a boss of a job that you have to have whatever the situation is, do a little self-reflection and realize you can't control other people what they're going to do. But you can control how you respond. So, try to get away from that knee-jerk reaction to because people that have Malevolent or negative Tendencies, they love conflict.

28:10 They love that interaction that kind of cognitive dissonance as you would. So you know they like that where you want to avoid it, you don't want. Yeah I mean you want to live peacefully, you know, but not people want to engage. So just maybe anticipate situations, you know, play out some possible. Scenarios in your mind and how you think you're going to react to those. So kind of role play before things happen, if you can. Can you know, because then that will prepare you when you're actually faced with, you know, an interaction that is - that you're going to be a little bit more prepared on how to react and realize that, you know, you might need to go lower contact with someone that you are kind of forced to still interact with.

28:54 I would be cautious about divulging, anything personal about yourself or opening the door to bigger discussions because that's what you're trying to avoid, you know, less is more, you know, interact as little As you have to and then just realize, you know, that it may be intentional, you know, the harm that there are causing but it also may be unintentional to either way though, that doesn't mean you need to put up with it, so is the very hard thing. It was very hard for me. It wasn't until my 60s that I was able to start putting up some healthy boundaries. Realizing, you can love someone from afar, you know, it doesn't mean if you stop interacting with someone, you know, make it be because As you know, you are valuing yourself that, you know, you don't want these constant interactions, you don't want the triggers. You don't really like how the conversations end up, so it's not like you're punishing another person or putting them down or getting back at them by distancing yourself, you're really just protecting yourself and that's okay. We need to take care of ourselves. Absolutely.

30:00 Are there, any specific quotes or words that you like to live by? When I think about my endorsement that James, Redfield wrote, you know, to paraphrase, it's just we all have challenges but if we handle them with love and goodness, you know, that is the way to find peace and happiness and evolve into the person. You were meant to be. So handle challenges with love handle, challenges with love Marnie. It was such a pleasure to have you on today. Thank you for being my guest. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it. Thank you for listening to the human Beauty. Podcast. Be sure to follow rate and review us wherever you stream podcasts.

30:42 The human Beauty movement is a community based platform. That cultivates, the beauty of humankind, check out our workshops, find us on social media and share our inspiration with all the beautiful humans in your life. Learn more at the human Beauty. Movement.com, thank you so much for being a beautiful human.