Episode 55: Marni Hill Foderaro - Finding God After Trauma

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Hello.
Beautiful human.

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Welcome to the human Beauty
movement podcast.

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I'm your host Jennifer Norman.
Throughout my life, I've been a

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lover and a seeker of all things
beauty from art and dance to

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cosmetics, and fashion to music
and nature.

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But through my own personal
Journey.

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I've come to discover what I
believe is the most beautiful

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thing.
In the universe, the beauty of

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the human soul.
On this podcast, I sit down with

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beautiful humans.
From all corners of the globe

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and all walks of life to learn
how they are living their own

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unique.
Soul Beauty out loud.

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You'll hear from game changers
Rebels with gray causes sages

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odds, feeders and Valiant
Warriors who fall down seven

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times and get update.
This is the podcast where

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abundant energy flows and
supreme wisdom is bestowed.

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Get ready to enjoy the
inspiration.

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Hello, beautiful humans.
I'm Jennifer Norman founder of

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the Due to movement and your
host.

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My guest today is dr.
Marnie hill.

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Far Torero Marnie is an
award-winning author.

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A speaker and an educator.
And wow, her story is completely

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fascinating.
First morning spent 35 years as

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a high school, special
education, teacher and 12 years

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as a university.
Adjunct graduate school

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Professor.
Then she went on to receive a

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Doctorate in Education from
Northern Illinois, University,

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and completed postdoctoral
studies at Harvard.

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Then Marnie went Through some
life-changing trauma which

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caused her to experience.
Numerous spiritual encounters,

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she would then go on to write
several books.

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Both fiction and nonfiction
inspired by her life

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transformation.
Welcome Marnie.

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Oh, thank you so much for having
me on your show.

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I'm delighted to be here with
you.

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Now, I understand that you're in
the Caribbean right now.

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Is that true?
I am.

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Yes, I moved here.
Three years ago after retiring,

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from my career, as a teacher,
and a lifetime in the Chicago

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suburbs.
Yes, I am in the Caribbean and I

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love it.
Absolutely.

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Well, will get over to your love
of nature in a moment.

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But first off, I know that after
a wonderful career and doing a

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lot of teaching, and being with
some wonderful students, you

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went through a large life
transformation.

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Can you tell us about that?
I guess, you know, very briefly.

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You know, I just decided to make
a life change.

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I left a marriage after 27
years.

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I knew I needed to stay true to
my values of honesty and

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goodness.
Des and love and compassion.

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And so, I needed to make that
change for myself.

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And, you know, with any kind of
big life change comes trauma.

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And we all experienced trauma on
different levels and mine seem

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to be significant, you know, at
the same time, I lost so many

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things but I gained so much
more.

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Hmm.
That is so special.

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And so, from what I understand,
you said that you found God at a

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garage sale.
Can you tell us about that?

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Well, sure.
You know, I actually I was

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raised atheist.
So, without any kind of

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foundation or exposure to
organized, religion, or

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spirituality.
And as I got older, you know, in

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my college Years, I really
sought out some answers to

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questions.
Like, you know, is there more to

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this earth?
You know, there has to be some

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divine intervention, everything
is so beautiful, and there's so

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many miracles.
I just needed some explanation

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for it.
And, you know, then later on in

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my life, when I had this
transition, and I knew that I

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was making A big life change.
You know, instead of having

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feelings of sadness or anger, I
just stayed true to who I always

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have been a happy, you know,
loving accepting person.

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And at this garage sale that I
had to have, I had some Miracles

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that happened that really kind
of jolted My reality in such a

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positive way.
It really reassured me that I

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was on the right path and I was
supported and loved by God, you

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know, so much so that I was
compelled to write about In my

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spiritual fiction, God came to
my garage sale which is really

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inspired by true events.
True Miracles that have

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happened.
So can you tell us a little bit

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about the Miracles that happened
at your garage sale?

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Yeah, yeah sure.
I mean, there's so many the one

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I really like to tell the most
because it was just so profound.

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It was, I was looking back at my
home with gratitude and

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thankfulness and just really in
a deep Reflection State.

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And all of a sudden, a dragonfly
flew around me and within Them

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short time.
There was like 5, dragonflies,

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no big deal but then really
within about a six to eight

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minute period, there were about
50 to 100 dragonfly.

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Circling me and you know, I was
in sort of a State of Shock, I

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wasn't scared.
I wasn't, you know, I just knew

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to sort of stand still and
experience this.

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I could see the dragonflies go
down the road and come on back

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and circle me.
I say it was all in slow motion

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to where I could see the veins
of the Wings and The iridescent

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colors and there were different
sizes.

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I equated with family members,
different Generations, babies

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toddlers, teenagers in a
grandparents, and I just felt

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this feeling of just love and
warmth and just I felt secure

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that I was making the right
decision even though it was a

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very tough life decision to make
and it was extremely traumatic

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on many many levels, it opened
up my heart and soul to that

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dragonfly experience as well as
so many other experiences.

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Isis with red Cardinals with
specifically dated pennies and

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very uniquely colored feathers
and people that were seem to be

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from another world.
It's like I don't even remember

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them coming or leaving the
garage saling yet I interacted

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with them and I saw things.
Even one of the people

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levitating from the ground and I
remember, looking thinking, are

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they standing on a boulder?
Are they on a crate or something

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like that?
And then I realized there were

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all these people.
Around this person who was

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raised above the ground and I
thought, I don't remember these

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people being here, I just washed
just as if it was a movie and I

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was very, very clear-headed, I
was very, very in tune to

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everything.
And, you know, there was just

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one amazing Miracle after
another and then that really led

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me on a quest to look into
spiritual experiences and

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encounters.
You know, I started to attend

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ions meetings, which is the
International Association for

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near the studies and listen to
people's accounts when they had

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near-death experiences and
things that they just couldn't

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normally explain that gave me a
lot of validation that I did

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experience some Miracles.
And I made some amazing

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connections with other people.
In fact, I know you're in

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California.
The person who wrote the

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foreword to my book, Barbara
bartolome, she is the founding

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director of ions of Santa
Barbara, California and, you

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know, I've had the opportunity
to meet so many people.

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That have also had experiences,
and one of the people was James

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Redfield, who wrote The
Celestine Prophecy, and the

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best-selling series of books and
he actually endorsed my book

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because he really, you know,
could really relate to what I

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experienced.
Wow, that's really fascinating.

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I had actually heard that a lot
of our ancestors come back in

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the form of birds or other, you
know creatures.

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It could be the dragonflies as
you have done mentions, which

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seemed like they were Might have
been some ancestors that were

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coming back to give you that nod
of approval and that

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everything's going to be okay.
And, you know, give you a sense

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of comfort even though it could
be daunting because you seeing

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150, right dragonflies coming at
you.

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That's so, so, fascinating,
there was one occasion, where on

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my 50th birthday?
I actually did have some friends

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over and we did have a ceremony.
It was a bonding ceremony and I

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closed my eyes and all of a
sudden I look up and every

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single one of them turned into
what looked like Can Native

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American Elder like an
indigenous tribes person and I

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just looked around and saw these
faces at Lionel.

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Just like all in unison with me
that you know.

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And here I was just thinking
okay I hear I'm at it like

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almost a rite of passage like
turning into my the next chapter

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of my life.
Having just gone through a

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divorce myself and you know a
lot of these turning moments

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where we are seeking greater
purpose and when we're ready and

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then the universe gives us what
we are are willing to absorb or

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that we're not.
Afraid to absorb at those times,

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and really opens our eyes to a
lot of the Mysteries that are

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beyond that and a lot of them do
come for.

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You know, towards people who
have these near-death

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experiences, as you had
mentioned, you know, with the

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association that you're
affiliated with, you know, there

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is a glimpse of the other side.
I think when that happened,

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definitely your experience, you
know, was life changing for you?

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I'm sure it was, it does come
when you are ready.

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That's was really key that you
said that, because you have to

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be, you know, at a stage Your
life where you can acknowledge

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that, you know, you are in a
transition state and you are,

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whether it's subconsciously or
consciously seeking some

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answers, seeking some more, you
want some direction, you need

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some validation.
And you know what, a beautiful

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experience you had, you know, it
was it was truly beautiful and

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you know there are some that
might look at experiences like

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this and say oh I guess you know
they're having nervous

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breakdowns or it wasn't real or
you know it was just something

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that was a figment of their
imagination.

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Their mind was running away from
them.

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They're, you know, they need,
mental help.

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You know, there's all sorts of
things that I think that people

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that have a lower vibration or
perhaps, you know, are at a

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different stage of
Consciousness, will will not

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understand and we'll just like,
you know, cross off as being

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whoo.
But once you do have recognition

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that there's so much more to the
human form than just what we

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see.
Hence why I started the human

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Beauty movement is so that
people could recognize the

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beauty that is you know, beyond
the human it.

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Which is to humanity it reaches
into the soul of every human.

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So that everybody recognizes
that we are all connected and

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these profound ways, just
beautiful.

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Yeah, I know, I love that you
had mentioned that you had such

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an intrinsic connection with
nature and with animals.

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Can you speak a little bit more
about that?

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Third, you know, well, I've
always been drawn to animals.

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I'm an animal lover and Animal
Welfare Advocate.

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But I, you know, when you have
animals look right at you and,

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you know, Know that they have a
soul as well.

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And so I've always had an
appreciation for the animal

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kingdom and, you know, some of
my favorite memories as a child

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is going to the zoo, even though
they're behind, you know, a cage

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or something like that, I got to
experience seeing some other

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living beings.
And so I've always been someone

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who has loved animals and loved
nature and, you know, just the

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Wonder of it all, you know, just
the details it's just always

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been fascinating to me so much
so that you After I left my

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American Dream situation had
this transition and I was

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retiring from a 35-year career
as an educator, I moved to the

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Caribbean from the Chicago
suburbs, and now I live in the

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rainforest and I'm immersed in
nature.

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You know, I never had an
appreciation for snakes before,

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and we have had 21 at least that
we know of boa constrictors here

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on our property and they're not
native to To this island that I

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live on.
They are here though and it's

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still fascinating, you know,
never a day goes by without some

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sort of experience with
something in nature.

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That is just absolutely
fascinating.

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Hmm.
My mom had a very special

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relationship with doves.
It's so much so that she and my

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dad, when they had a company
named it double electronic.

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It was a very spiritual person.
And so, every single day when I

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go outside, I'll go for a walk
or what have you?

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If I see a dove Say.
Hey Mom, I'm doing well.

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You know that let her know that
I'm doing okay.

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Because I'm pretty sure.
She's just like looking in on

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us.
Checking up on making sure that

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we're okay.
And how wonderful though that

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you acknowledge her through that
because I really believe that in

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our gut feeling that is the
connection that you connect the

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dove with your mom, that that
really is the connection.

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You know, you are given this
download of an intuition we need

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to follow our gut feelings.
And so, you know how nice that

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you acknowledged her.
And I Do the same thing, too.

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When I am surrounded, I speak to
someone by name even though they

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have departed this plane and
have transition to another

235
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level.
You know it's good to

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acknowledge them and you hear
about people saying that you

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should acknowledge your angels
your Spirit guides you know.

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Speak to them directly.
Yeah.

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Thanks to God directly.
You know God please help me God.

240
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Thank you for helping me.
Yeah.

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And I do believe in the power of
being able to Release to whether

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people call it God or your
Spirit guides or Angels, your

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00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,200
higher self.
There's always that essence of

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the fact that we are so much
more than we think that we are

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and by offloading.
You know, any of the pain or the

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ill or the confusion, or the
issues at hand, really enables

247
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:28,700
us to find a special moment of
quiet and peace and Solitude

248
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where that intuition really does
start to shine through even

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stronger.
And the more that we practice,

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the better at it, we get right
and you know in life we're all

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going to have have adversity
that we come across.

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We're all going to have
challenges and it can look very

253
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different for so many different
people.

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But you know, if we handled them
with love and compassion and

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that knowing that there is a
higher power that we are

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00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:53,900
supported.
You know, it really does help

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make our day-to-day so much
better and helps, you know, look

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00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:01,900
at Humanity in a different way,
in a very positive light.

259
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So even negative people and
negative situations that we

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00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,500
encounter, you know?
You can learn about that and do

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00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:13,500
a little research and understand
the reasons why they present the

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way they do and not take it.
So personally like, you know, we

263
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:21,100
are responsible for that because
we're not we can't control what

264
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other people do or what other
situations come in.

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Front of us, we can only control
homes and how we find them.

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You know I just have found
responding to anything positive

267
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or negative with a lens of Love
is what it is all about, you're

268
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,000
exactly right because Because I
think that their company comes

269
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,500
this tendency where we're very
quick and we snap to judgments,

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00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:45,400
you know, somebody cuts you off
you know, on the road.

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Or if somebody says something to
you, that was probably

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00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:51,100
unintentional or perhaps
intentional, but it's all of a

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00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:52,200
sudden.
Well, that, you know, that

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person's intercourse.
All right.

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You know, you did and there's
this, you know, a lack of

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00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,700
compassion and it kind of others
us from that person rather than

277
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,500
getting to the understanding.
And that, and that feeling that

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gosh, I really feel bad for that
person because what must have

279
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:08,900
happened.
In their lives to make them feel

280
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:11,200
this way or react.
This way are caused them to

281
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:14,700
behave in that way because, you
know, events are unto themselves

282
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:17,700
neutral, it's really just
everybody's reaction to them.

283
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:21,200
That causes all this interesting
contrast among men and women.

284
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:24,700
I had actually heard this person
giving what was I think they

285
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:27,000
considered it advice.
I would not have considered it

286
00:15:27,008 --> 00:15:29,500
advice, but he was saying, you
know, any time that you follow

287
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:33,300
your feelings or your emotions,
you are going to fail, you

288
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:36,700
really need to have mine and
force out, you know, those

289
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:38,100
feelings.
He's like you otherwise you'd

290
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:41,600
never get out of bed otherwise.
And I was thinking like, oh man,

291
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,700
that's probably the worst thing
I've ever heard.

292
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:47,200
And I feel that that was
probably the way that I lived.

293
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,700
My life up until, you know,
maybe only four or five years

294
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,500
ago.
It was like this forcing and

295
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,700
this efforting, and this feeling
like I needed to get ahead.

296
00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:59,500
I needed to do, do do and action
and react, and all of those

297
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,500
things in order to be able to
get to a certain place, whether

298
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:05,900
it be a career or what have you,
but it was the absolute wrong

299
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,200
way.
I had to unlearn Everything that

300
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,000
I had been trained to do since I
was young.

301
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:16,000
And I know, just start fresh and
recognize the power of flow of

302
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,900
intention of Attraction of, you
know, all of the things that

303
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:24,200
otherwise really do work, much
greater and more powerful magic

304
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,800
in the universe than all right.
And we need to quiet our minds,

305
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:32,100
you know, we need to take time
for self-reflection and you know

306
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:36,200
just because we can acknowledge
that someone else is kind of you

307
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:41,500
know Maybe on a different plane
of vibration or whatever it is.

308
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,800
You know, it doesn't mean we
need to drop our boundaries

309
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,300
completely and let them into our
own day-to-day lives.

310
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,600
But we can, at least have love
and compassion and

311
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,600
understanding, you know, to not
take things personally.

312
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:59,100
And to realize that, you know,
we are just beautiful souls.

313
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:03,900
And if we can stop and reflect
on the beauty of everything and

314
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:07,099
slow down a little bit, we will
be less to judge others.

315
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,300
As well, hmm.
So, true, so true.

316
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:14,400
I would love to hear about your
experience in education with

317
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,700
special needs individuals.
I understand that that's where

318
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,900
you made most of your career or
earlier on.

319
00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:21,800
Can you tell us a little bit
about that?

320
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,900
Sure, you know.
Well, I was a special education

321
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:28,900
teacher for 35 years and, you
know, I worked with all

322
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,700
different levels.
But primarily it was at the high

323
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:35,700
school level and I just felt, it
was a calling, even though I

324
00:17:35,708 --> 00:17:39,800
come from a family of Educators.
I didn't originally set out to

325
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:43,200
be an education, very much.
Like what you were talking about

326
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,300
when I started college at a very
young age, I went right into

327
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:49,700
business and thought I would,
you know, to go be a successful

328
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:53,800
was the way, you know, I should
focus my career and my education

329
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:57,200
but you know, one thing led to
another and I was drawn to the

330
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,700
field of education and
specifically special education

331
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:04,800
and I believe that, you know,
all human beings have worth no

332
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:08,400
matter what their challenges.
Is are you know they label

333
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,900
people you know disable these
are this is a disability and I

334
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:15,800
think the labels serve a purpose
in that you could get funding

335
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,600
for certain programs and that
type of thing.

336
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:21,800
But unfortunately labels have
just a detrimental effect for

337
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,400
those individuals that are
labeled, you know, because they

338
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,400
feel that they're different.
Even people that are gifted

339
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,100
which you would think would be
on the other Spectrum, very

340
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,200
positive.
They don't want to be singled

341
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,300
out and made to feel different.
They want to be with their

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00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:38,400
friends and be Be like everyone
else.

343
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:43,200
And so as a teacher, I just felt
I was so honored to be able to

344
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:47,000
interact with these beautiful
individuals and let them know

345
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,700
that they had worst and that we
all have different learning

346
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:53,700
challenges and that they should
embrace the gifts that they

347
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,700
have.
And, you know, always look on

348
00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:59,900
the positive side because there
are so many positives and that

349
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:02,500
the labels are the type of
classroom there in doesn't

350
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:05,400
necessarily Define them and
because of that kind of

351
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,700
philosophical level.
Is that I was looking at them

352
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:10,700
through.
I also was someone who didn't

353
00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:14,900
really get into teaching content
as much as I was teaching the

354
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:18,200
individual and, you know,
especially in this day and age,

355
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,800
you know, we're able to get
information if we went to learn

356
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,700
about a particular subject, you
know, there are many different

357
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:28,400
search engines or ways to
research to learn about things.

358
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:32,500
And so what I tried to do as a
teacher was encouraged the love

359
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:35,400
of learning and to encourage
researching.

360
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:38,400
And that is something that my
late Eight mother encouraged in

361
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,300
me.
You know, when I wanted to learn

362
00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:45,400
about something understand
something, even if I wanted

363
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:49,100
something physical, she actually
said, you need to research about

364
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:52,400
it, look into it get information
so you can make an informed

365
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,000
decision.
And I think that had a big

366
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:58,100
impact on how I approached, you
know, learning in the classroom.

367
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,200
Mmm, that's beautiful.
You know, I have a son who is

368
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:06,300
special needs as well to me when
I spend time with him or when

369
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:08,500
anybody's Runs any time with
him.

370
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:13,000
They feel such love.
They feel this overwhelming

371
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,200
sense of compassion.
I remember when my mom was alive

372
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,200
and she used to spend time with
him, she would see how others

373
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,200
would be.
And then when they would come

374
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,000
into His presence and leave,
they were changed, they were

375
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,200
really just like their hearts
just Port cracked open and they

376
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,600
love wood.
And she said to me, you know

377
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:32,000
what, he's changing people and I
said this is exactly why he's

378
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,900
here and for anybody who would
invalidate the rationale of

379
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:39,400
somebody who is Is in his
condition, you know, being on

380
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,900
this Earth or just deserving
life or deserving to be on this

381
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,600
Earth.
It's just that I don't know if

382
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,400
there is an awareness or
recognition of the power of

383
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:50,400
spirit and soul that is working
its magic in visibly and

384
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,300
energetically in other people.
Maybe not so much in the

385
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:56,900
physical and what he can do or
push around or, you know, enjoy

386
00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:59,200
from that perspective.
But he's doing some real

387
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,100
powerful work.
I call him my little wizard

388
00:21:01,100 --> 00:21:05,300
because you know, that's his
superpower for sure.

389
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:10,700
And yeah, I like See, a lot of
special needs children adults as

390
00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:13,600
being like angels that came down
on this Earth to teach us these

391
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,500
valuable lessons to teach us a
tolerance and kindness and

392
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:20,100
compassion and understanding.
Sometimes it shows the contrast

393
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:21,900
in people who don't see that
too.

394
00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:25,600
And I know where there's still
work to do or you know what

395
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,900
differentiates a certain people
from others definitely.

396
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:33,100
And what we can do to help move
the needle and progress towards,

397
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,100
you know, continued kindness and
love for sure.

398
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,500
And I think just having these
candid conversations, you know,

399
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:43,000
help bring about the awareness
and that will lead to

400
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,500
acceptance, you know, just even
you mentioning what you did will

401
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:50,400
have a ripple effect that you
might not even know how it will

402
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,000
impact so many other people.
But yes, there's, you know, we

403
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,300
can learn and grow from all
different people and all

404
00:21:57,300 --> 00:22:02,000
different experiences even-
situations can be blessings to

405
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,500
help us grow and learn on this
Earth.

406
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,500
Absolutely.
And speaking of that, I know

407
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:09,700
that you Another five book
series, which is called true

408
00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:13,400
deceit, false love, I would love
to know what inspired that

409
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,500
writing and what people could
learn from that.

410
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:18,500
Well, sure, you know, the five
books series, it's something I

411
00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:22,300
never set out to write, but it
came out of necessity.

412
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:25,800
The first book, when I had to
realize what I was going

413
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:29,600
through, I had to do a deep dive
into, not only research, but

414
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,500
even into a lot of
self-reflection and what made me

415
00:22:32,500 --> 00:22:36,100
a Target for certain kinds of
situations.

416
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:42,200
And so the first book is 15000
555 terms and phrases on

417
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:46,000
domestic violence and
narcissistic abuse and parental

418
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,700
alienation.
And I also incorporate, you

419
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:51,500
know, addressing
intergenerational family trauma,

420
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:55,200
because it's very important to
when you're trying to understand

421
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:58,000
why bad things happen to good
people and why some

422
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,200
relationships.
You know, don't work out or how

423
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,700
someone could actually abuse
another person.

424
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:06,900
You have to really look, do a
deep dive into your own child.

425
00:23:07,300 --> 00:23:11,000
Experiences and family, you
know, interactions to start of

426
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,200
understand, you know, your own
programming.

427
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:18,100
And then if you couple that,
with being oblivious to signs

428
00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:20,800
and synchronicities, because
you're going along busy in your

429
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,300
life, you know, raising your
kids working, full-time,

430
00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:26,100
whatever you don't, pay
attention to some red flags, you

431
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:30,000
know, years and years, even
decades can go by before you say

432
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,200
whoa, wait a minute, this is not
healthy.

433
00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:36,000
Let me make a change, you know
as hard as it's going to be you

434
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,500
know let me make it.
A change.

435
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:40,300
So that's what started this
book.

436
00:23:40,300 --> 00:23:43,800
But then I found really maybe
it's my teacher background, I

437
00:23:43,808 --> 00:23:45,700
don't know.
I have a love of words and a

438
00:23:45,700 --> 00:23:49,100
love of terminology and just,
you know, I believe that words

439
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:52,000
have the power to hurt a lot of
people, but they also have the

440
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,500
power to heal and can bring
about positive outcomes.

441
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:59,600
The other books in the series
include poetry, you know, across

442
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,500
dick and free verse poetry, as
well as a survivors workbook.

443
00:24:03,500 --> 00:24:07,600
If people find that writing is
healing for them to Work out

444
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:11,400
issues, you know, I provide a
tool for that and then I

445
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,700
actually the fifth book is a
word search puzzle book where I

446
00:24:14,708 --> 00:24:18,800
just I believe in using a
multi-sensory approach to

447
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,100
learning things.
And maybe that's some of my

448
00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:23,800
teacher background.
But using a different part of

449
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,400
your brain to try to break
through.

450
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:30,000
Trauma, you know, because doing
word searches if you really sit

451
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,600
down to do a word search in some
ways, it's relaxing in some

452
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,200
ways.
It's distracting you from some

453
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,700
of the heavy duty.
Duty issues you're facing, but

454
00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:42,200
it's also informational because
I use words and then they're

455
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:46,300
related words under those.
And so that's how the five book

456
00:24:46,300 --> 00:24:49,400
series came about.
And it was prominently endorsed

457
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:53,300
by even researchers in the field
of this, you know, family trauma

458
00:24:53,300 --> 00:24:56,900
Dynamic situation.
So, you know, I was very

459
00:24:56,900 --> 00:24:59,800
motivated to do this.
It's kind of like a wasn't even

460
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,700
work for me.
The writing just came out

461
00:25:02,700 --> 00:25:06,100
because it was not only healing
for me, but I knew that it would

462
00:25:06,100 --> 00:25:09,900
help other All is well because
other people need to know, you

463
00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:12,900
know, they're not alone and
whatever challenges they're

464
00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:15,900
facing.
And so, I could provide some

465
00:25:15,900 --> 00:25:19,600
sort of support just to add to
the great amount of literature

466
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:23,300
and, you know, podcasts and, you
know, that's out there to help

467
00:25:23,300 --> 00:25:26,200
people address these family
issues for the most part, you

468
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:31,300
know, everyone everyone that
I've met anyway has some sort of

469
00:25:31,300 --> 00:25:34,400
connection to some sort of
family trauma, even if it's not

470
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,700
their own immediate family, it
could be in there.

471
00:25:36,700 --> 00:25:40,700
Jay Generation mmm.
And so the people who you think

472
00:25:40,700 --> 00:25:44,700
are more or less targeted for
this type of book are first and

473
00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:47,500
foremost, those who have gone
through some sort of trauma, or

474
00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:50,900
maybe needs to think about
identifying, some of the things

475
00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:54,400
that may have led them to
creating these Cycles in their,

476
00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:55,700
in their lives.
Is that right?

477
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,400
Right.
And I believe that you know

478
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:01,200
those people do come out once
they realize they've been in a

479
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:05,300
toxic situation, whether it is
an unhealthy work relationship,

480
00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:08,100
you know, or situation.
Whether it's an unhealthy

481
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:11,800
marriage or maybe they might
look at some family members and

482
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,600
think way, I know I'm related to
them and they should have my

483
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,000
back, but they really are stepa.
Toshing and are, you know,

484
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,500
actually causing great harm.
And so I think, you know, when

485
00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:25,700
people are at the point where
they need to, it has gotten so

486
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,100
challenging for them, that they
need to address it.

487
00:26:28,100 --> 00:26:30,000
They need to look into this a
little bit more.

488
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,700
They need to do some
self-reflection.

489
00:26:31,700 --> 00:26:35,200
I think that is, you know, the
book series comes in as just a

490
00:26:35,208 --> 00:26:38,600
tool to help people.
'Well, you know identify like

491
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,800
even reading some of the
terminology that purposely don't

492
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:45,600
put definitions because there is
numerous definitions for various

493
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:49,000
terms but I believe in the
research aspect of things so

494
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,600
that when you look at that and
you look up the terminology, you

495
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,800
can connect the dots to your own
experience and make it more

496
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:59,200
personal for you.
Mmm, now I know that there are

497
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,400
certain people in my own life,
where it's like, I love you.

498
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:06,100
I can't spend any more time with
you because it's either to

499
00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:09,800
triggering or I just don't have
the energy for it in an energy.

500
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,300
Vampire is etcetera and but what
do you say?

501
00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:16,000
If somebody is in a situation
where it's like they have to

502
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,800
interact, I say have to but you
know, they are in this situation

503
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,900
where they are interacting day
in and day out with somebody

504
00:27:22,900 --> 00:27:26,300
who's just doesn't meet their
energy space or doesn't vibrate

505
00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:30,300
the same or perhaps is toxic.
Well, that is a wonderful

506
00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:33,900
question and I wish I had the
perfect answer for it.

507
00:27:33,900 --> 00:27:37,500
But as a suggestion, I would
say, you know, when You actually

508
00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:41,500
acknowledge that you are
interacting with someone that

509
00:27:41,500 --> 00:27:45,100
you feel, you cannot you know,
sever the tie for whatever

510
00:27:45,100 --> 00:27:46,800
reason.
You know, you have children

511
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:50,900
together, they're related.
You know they're a boss of a job

512
00:27:50,900 --> 00:27:54,500
that you have to have whatever
the situation is, do a little

513
00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:58,100
self-reflection and realize you
can't control other people what

514
00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:00,500
they're going to do.
But you can control how you

515
00:28:00,500 --> 00:28:03,300
respond.
So, try to get away from that

516
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:07,800
knee-jerk reaction to because
people that have Malevolent or

517
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,600
negative Tendencies, they love
conflict.

518
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:14,800
They love that interaction that
kind of cognitive dissonance as

519
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,100
you would.
So you know they like that where

520
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,100
you want to avoid it, you don't
want.

521
00:28:19,100 --> 00:28:22,500
Yeah I mean you want to live
peacefully, you know, but not

522
00:28:22,500 --> 00:28:25,700
people want to engage.
So just maybe anticipate

523
00:28:25,700 --> 00:28:28,700
situations, you know, play out
some possible.

524
00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:32,400
Scenarios in your mind and how
you think you're going to react

525
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,100
to those.
So kind of role play before

526
00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:38,300
things happen, if you can.
Can you know, because then that

527
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:41,600
will prepare you when you're
actually faced with, you know,

528
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:45,500
an interaction that is - that
you're going to be a little bit

529
00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:48,800
more prepared on how to react
and realize that, you know, you

530
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:52,600
might need to go lower contact
with someone that you are kind

531
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,800
of forced to still interact
with.

532
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,700
I would be cautious about
divulging, anything personal

533
00:28:57,700 --> 00:29:01,300
about yourself or opening the
door to bigger discussions

534
00:29:01,300 --> 00:29:04,100
because that's what you're
trying to avoid, you know, less

535
00:29:04,100 --> 00:29:08,600
is more, you know, interact as
little As you have to and then

536
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,400
just realize, you know, that it
may be intentional, you know,

537
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:16,100
the harm that there are causing
but it also may be unintentional

538
00:29:16,100 --> 00:29:19,500
to either way though, that
doesn't mean you need to put up

539
00:29:19,500 --> 00:29:21,700
with it, so is the very hard
thing.

540
00:29:21,700 --> 00:29:25,100
It was very hard for me.
It wasn't until my 60s that I

541
00:29:25,100 --> 00:29:28,600
was able to start putting up
some healthy boundaries.

542
00:29:28,700 --> 00:29:31,900
Realizing, you can love someone
from afar, you know, it doesn't

543
00:29:31,900 --> 00:29:35,900
mean if you stop interacting
with someone, you know, make it

544
00:29:35,900 --> 00:29:40,000
be because As you know, you are
valuing yourself that, you know,

545
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,100
you don't want these constant
interactions, you don't want the

546
00:29:43,100 --> 00:29:45,300
triggers.
You don't really like how the

547
00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:48,800
conversations end up, so it's
not like you're punishing

548
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:53,500
another person or putting them
down or getting back at them by

549
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,700
distancing yourself, you're
really just protecting yourself

550
00:29:56,700 --> 00:29:58,500
and that's okay.
We need to take care of

551
00:29:58,500 --> 00:30:00,600
ourselves.
Absolutely.

552
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:04,000
Are there, any specific quotes
or words that you like to live

553
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,600
by?
When I think about my

554
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:09,700
endorsement that James, Redfield
wrote, you know, to paraphrase,

555
00:30:09,700 --> 00:30:13,300
it's just we all have challenges
but if we handle them with love

556
00:30:13,300 --> 00:30:17,500
and goodness, you know, that is
the way to find peace and

557
00:30:17,500 --> 00:30:20,000
happiness and evolve into the
person.

558
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,700
You were meant to be.
So handle challenges with love

559
00:30:23,900 --> 00:30:26,300
handle, challenges with love
Marnie.

560
00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:28,500
It was such a pleasure to have
you on today.

561
00:30:28,500 --> 00:30:30,700
Thank you for being my guest.
Oh my gosh.

562
00:30:30,700 --> 00:30:33,800
Thank you so much for having me.
I really appreciate it.

563
00:30:34,300 --> 00:30:36,700
Thank you for listening to the
human Beauty.

564
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,800
Podcast.
Be sure to follow rate and

565
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,800
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566
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,800
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567
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,800
That cultivates, the beauty of
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568
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:52,900
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569
00:30:52,900 --> 00:30:55,600
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570
00:30:55,600 --> 00:31:00,200
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Movement.com, thank you so much

571
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:01,500
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