How to Reinvent Yourself at Any Age | Debbi DiMaggio, Ep 226

Jennifer Norman:
Hello, beautiful humans. Most of us don't wake up one morning and decide to change our lives. Instead, life changes us. A relationship ends, a career shifts, the kids leave home, we experience loss, burnout, or simply arrive at a place where the life we've worked so hard to build no longer feels like the life we are meant to live. And yet some people don't just survive these moments, they reinvent themselves, because of them. So what makes the difference? Today's guest believes it isn't talent, luck, or timing. It's mindset. Joining me today is entrepreneur, speaker, author, coach, and podcast host Debbi DiMaggio.

Jennifer Norman:
For more than 35 years, has helped individuals and families navigate life's biggest transitions with greater confidence, clarity, and purpose. She's the author of 6 books, including Mindset in Motion: Activate Purpose, Power, and Peak Performance, creator of the Mindset in Motion Method, and host of the Mastering the Art of Success podcast, where she explores what it really takes to build a meaningful life. So if you've ever wondered whether it's too late to start over, how to break free from what's keeping you stuck, or how to embrace life's next chapter with courage instead of fear, this conversation is for you. Please join me in welcoming Debbi DiMaggio.

Jennifer Norman:
You've coached countless people through reinvention, all of these different life transitions. What do you think it is in terms of the moment when you think that you finally know that you're ready to change, that you're ready to step into this new identity?

Debbi DiMaggio:
Well, I think a lot of times it's thrust on us. People are going through transitions of death, a parent possibly dying.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Debbi DiMaggio:
A spouse possibly dying. So that happens. And then just in life, we go through transitions, a breakup or whatever it is. And that's the time you really got to start using my book, Mindset in Motion: Activate Purpose, Power, and Peak Performance. I mean, it's a perfect segue to that only because everything in the book helps you through whatever it is, whether it's going through a divorce or achieving a personal goal or professional goal. The 5-step method really helps you get organized in your thought. And I always write, you just writing everything out is super important. Even if you don't know what you wanna do yet, just stream of conscious, just put everything on paper.

Jennifer Norman:
Let's talk about Mindset in Motion and those 5 steps, because it sounds like that is going to be really helpful in terms of navigating people through these transitions who might be overwhelmed, a little bit lost, a bit confused, and, you know, wondering what's they should do next or wondering if they're even relevant anymore. So tell us about the 5 steps and how you came about them.

Debbi DiMaggio:
Sure. What really came from my heart was I really always want to help people. I'm always talking to my 25-year-old self. I was completely lost at 25. I thought there was going to be some dream job that would come right into my head and that was going to be what I wanted to do. And it never happened. So I spent a lot of time writing. So I'm always speaking to my 25-year-old self.

Debbi DiMaggio:
So in Mindset in Motion, I'm like, how could I help people? How can I inspire people? I always like to think as a coach. I want to make things easy for people. So I think in frameworks. So let's talk about this framework, Mindset in Motion, Activate Purpose, Power, and Peak Performance. The framework, the Mindset in Motion method is 5 steps. So the first step is to have a goal. So I'm going to just associate it with something I did. So how I came up with the method is I reverse engineered all of my goals throughout my life.

Debbi DiMaggio:
I went back and I chose a goal and I put it in the steps. Then I did this and I put it and it all matched up. I mean, you can give me a goal and I actually, after this, I want you to send me your goal, I'm gonna send you the Mindset in Motion blueprint for whatever it is. And people have sent every kinds of goal to me.

Jennifer Norman:
Wow.

Debbi DiMaggio:
So anyway, the first step is goal. You need to have a goal. You need to be specific, very clear. So I'm gonna give you an example. I decided 3 weeks before the LA Marathon to run a marathon, and I was gonna do it on mindset to prove to myself. I wasn't gonna share it with anyone because people would think I'm crazy because I was gonna be 60. And I hadn't been training. I just decided to do it because of something my son had said about challenging himself.

Debbi DiMaggio:
So, I was trying to understand. So, I said, okay. My goal was simple. Cross the finish line. Goal. Very simple. One goal at a time.

Debbi DiMaggio:
Number 2, believe. I did not know how I was going to cross that finish line, 26.2 miles, but I knew I believed I would do it. That's number 2. Believe. That's all. Don't look anything more into it. The 3rd is to internalize. What's it gonna be like? I saw myself, I visualized myself crossing that finish line, just like an athlete, just like a professional athlete or athletes. They do that.

Debbi DiMaggio:
They train their mind. They see themselves succeeding. So I saw myself succeeding through this marathon. I really felt the emotion, the exhaustion, the victory. I put my whole self into it. But it also goes back to neuroscience. I'm sure you've heard about neuroscience.

Jennifer Norman:
Mm-hmm.

Debbi DiMaggio:
So neuroscientists say when we vividly imagine ourselves succeeding, our brain starts rehearsing before it even happens. And so I saw myself complete that race. So that's internalize, number 3. Number 4 is share with supportive people. You can't share everything with everyone. My goal was a little lofty, so I didn't want to share because I didn't want to have the naysayers think, oh, you're crazy. What are you doing? Why are you going to do that? You don't even train. I didn't need that, right? I didn't need that.

Debbi DiMaggio:
So you surround yourself with people who will strengthen your belief, not weaken it. So you want to be around supportive people. Many goals are fine. You should, you should, should, should absolutely share with supportive people. Some goals you have to— very select few that you can share with.

Jennifer Norman:
Mm-hmm.

Debbi DiMaggio:
The last, number 5, is to activate. And this is where most dreams die because people can go through all the stuff I just said pretty easily. They can goal, they can believe, they can internalize, they can share, but then it's time to do the work. And this is where coaching is very hard because not everyone— they think they want to be in real estate, they think they want to start a podcast. I mean, it's all work. I mean, You're a podcast host, you know how much work it is. It doesn't just happen. I mean, this is the fun part, but there's a lot of work that goes behind the scenes.

Debbi DiMaggio:
So anyway, the activation is the hard part. This is when you do bring in people. Professional athletes have 10 coaches, some of them. I mean, really prominent people have coaches. It's like, and they work at it. It doesn't just happen like that. So whatever it is you want to do, and there's in my book, I outline all the places you can find support. Yeah.

Debbi DiMaggio:
Supportive people, whether it's a Facebook group page, whether it's coaching, whether it's mentors, it's someone that you see in business, personal, or people you absolutely do not know. I have reached out because I practice what I preach. As I was writing my book, I reached out to people I did not know, and 2 of the people who endorsed my books are people I did not know before, 2 CEOs. So who cares? What are they going to say, no? Or are they going to say, oh, I'm sorry, I don't have time? Or are they just not going to respond? No one's going to hurt you. if you ask. So please just ask. Please get help. You can.

Debbi DiMaggio:
And so those are the 5 steps. And if you slot that into whatever— it could be a basic goal, could be a big goal— but if you put it into that framework, and what you're doing is you're simplifying it and you're breaking it down and you're seeing it and you're writing it out, and it starts to become who you are. And it— you're repeating that goal of yours.

Jennifer Norman:
I would actually love to spend a bit more time just really like stretching this out because I think that this is really so important and I don't want, yes, to gloss over any aspect of this because I think what happens is when transition happens, when stress hits, when life starts lifing, a lot of things just get thrown up in the air and people just don't have that clarity. And so even step number 1, having a clear goal, can be difficult at this time. So it really takes time, like you said, writing things down or really getting into that soft space, that quiet space to really kind of, you know, like just shield out that noise and get clear on what your desires are, what your true goal is, and make it fun. Make it something that you really, that really lights you up. Don't let it be somebody else's goal because a lot of times that happens is like somebody else thinks that I should do this, then, yeah, okay. And so that all of a sudden you go in and you're kind of half-assing it from the very beginning.

Debbi DiMaggio:
Yes.

Jennifer Norman:
Really think hard and long on it and don't beat yourself up if you don't have that clear yet because it does take time. And even like step number 1, can be something that really does help you to have a purpose, to help you feel like you've got that intention. And so the intention, I think, is important. And I think that that's where a lot of people with manifestation fall apart because they think, oh, I'm just gonna have an intention and then put it out in the ether and walk away. And they, they don't do all the rest of the other steps that you've talked about. Number 2, belief. How many of us are filled with self-doubt. How many of us don't, like, deep down in our tissue, believe in our ability to achieve something or to do something? How many of us have imposter syndrome?

Debbi DiMaggio:
And this is where all the excuses come. This is where people start making excuses.

Jennifer Norman:
I can't do this. I'm too bad. I'm too old. It's too late. I'm not strong enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not educated enough. My background, my race, my— like, you name it, they'll throw up the victim card.

Jennifer Norman:
And so let's just nip that in the bud and see what we can do to create those deep down intrinsic beliefs. Because even though your mind might say, oh yeah, I believe I can do that. Your body knows, your soul in like your core, your tissue knows. And so it's getting into that mindset and the visualization that you were talking about, that internalization. I think step 2 and step 3 really kind of go together because you really, once you start practicing, once you get those reps in, once you start like visualizing yourself having that success, it also feeds into your belief that you can do it because you're, you're seeing yourself successful. Your mind is creating scenarios where you can be successful. And then that's where like the astral, the quantum energy starts to really kind of take in and really help you to achieve all that you really want to. And then the 4th one, sharing it with supportive people.

Jennifer Norman:
I love that you talked about the aspects of making sure that you're is one that truly is supportive because there are a lot of people that may have secret jealousy. They might have like just these out of loving kindness, quote unquote loving kindness. They may say like, I just care about you. I don't want you to hurt yourself. I don't want you to make a fool of yourself. I don't want you to embarrass yourself. You're like, or why don't you just like try a smaller, more realistic goal? You might hear some of that too.

Debbi DiMaggio:
Right.

Jennifer Norman:
And so the ones that you can tell that really help you in these steps too. It's almost like an accountability buddy or somebody who might also have a crazy-ass goal. Like we call them BHAG, big, hairy, audacious goals, or small goals. They can be your buddy in trying to achieve these things. And positivity really makes a difference here.

Debbi DiMaggio:
Right.

Jennifer Norman:
So I think that's support. And even if, like you said, if you don't have anybody in your inner circle, Facebook groups, other people that you might find that are also trying to achieve the same goal, whether it be like an LA marathon or not, then I think that that helps too. And then the activation, as you said, that is the important thing. That's where the rubber meets the road and nothing happens unless your body starts moving into that direction. So, yeah, thanks for laying out those 5 steps because that is truly mindset in motion and the 5 steps are the method. And that's why every step matters. Every step matters.

Debbi DiMaggio:
Very much. And they all work together. They're all supposed to be very clear and defined, as you said, and then they do all work together. But it's not free. You don't just get to say, okay, I want that. And then I'm going to go along. You really need to activate. And that's why when people get coaches, sometimes they want a coach and sometimes they say they want a coach, but then you learn the first lesson or the first coaching session, they're not really in it.

Debbi DiMaggio:
And then it's like, okay, you don't need to pay me to help you if you don't want to help yourself, because I can't do everything for you. I could guide you, but I can't— you can lead a horse to water, you can't make them drink.

Jennifer Norman:
You know, what's interesting is that one of my bucket list items was essentially to run a marathon too. I've never run a marathon and I always thought, oh, it would be so cool. And as I understand it, you're planning to run a marathon on almost every continent. And is that right?

Debbi DiMaggio:
So I, it's crazy. When I get something in my head, it just doesn't stop. So, well, first of all, let me talk about youth for one minute. So as I'm here in South Africa and I was talking to youth today at a youth group, South Africans, and we were talking about the marathon and then someone said, I wanna run a marathon. And I said, this morning when I was running, I was thinking, so frameworks, breaking it down, making it easy, and I'm gonna make it easier for you and you are gonna do it. So a marathon is 26.2 miles. A half marathon is 2 half marathons. Half marathon.

Debbi DiMaggio:
Yeah. So that's 10 and 10. Let's write 10 and 10, but that's only 4 5Ks. So that's only 4 5Ks. So 5Ks are like 3.5 miles maybe.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Debbi DiMaggio:
So anyway, if you break it down like that, it just becomes more manageable. So maybe you start training. It takes me about 45 minutes to run just casually on the treadmill, a 5K, and think of that and then add a little bit more and add a little bit more and all of a sudden you're doing it. So it is not impossible. I did it on mostly mindset, so anyone can do it.

Jennifer Norman:
I was going to say, just as an example, I had on my bucket list, I would love to run a marathon. That would be such an amazing goal. What an achievement. At least in my lifetime, I would like to run a marathon. But then I was thinking to myself, you know what, I've always had trouble with my knees. And so would it be the wisest thing for me to actually run a marathon or am I jeopardizing my knees? And, and so I think what happened was I had this goal, I loved it, and I was inspired by the goal, but the whole idea or the belief that it was a smart quote unquote thing to do or that it would jeopardize another part of my health, I think—

Debbi DiMaggio:
Right.

Jennifer Norman:
Took priority. And so even though I had the goal, there was something in my mindset that was like, this is not a smart thing to do. And so therefore I never did it. And even years later, then I would always check and see, oh, the LA Marathon's coming up. How much is it for the entry fee? Like, and I would check and I'd be like, and then I'd be like, no, no, no, no, no. And I would give myself the no. And it would just poof, like nothing would happen. And I think that's what happens with a lot of people is like they have this goal, they feel like, ooh, this would be so great for me to do.

Jennifer Norman:
But what I'll call excuses, maybe legitimate excuses, it may be smart excuses, that take priority and essentially stop you from getting to that goal. And so then, I mean, you can make the cognitive decision, is this the right goal for me? Maybe it's just like a goal that is more of a vanity goal. It really doesn't. And so having those kinds of conversations and being honest with yourself instead of beating yourself up, 'cause for a while—

Debbi DiMaggio:
Yeah.

Jennifer Norman:
I was beating myself up. I was like, I've had this goal for decades now that I wanted to run a marathon. Why haven't I? And why am I letting this in the way? Well, maybe it's actually the smarter thing, or maybe it's the thing that is true So I think those kinds of things are also just important to come to a realization that—

Debbi DiMaggio:
Right. Don't beat yourself up.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah. There's different things at play. And sometimes people will tell you this, like, oh yeah, you know, if you get bad knees, that is the worst thing that you should, you know, you should not run a marathon. But—

Debbi DiMaggio:
I have a question. I have a question. So number, number one is I put knee braces on just in case. So I wore knee braces when I ran the race.

Jennifer Norman:
Uh-huh.

Debbi DiMaggio:
But when you were going through all this over a long period of time, did you ever, ever consult a doctor?

Jennifer Norman:
I did not consult a doctor about running a marathon, only to fix my knees or to help my aching knees.

Debbi DiMaggio:
So I just—

Jennifer Norman:
Because I thought that the doctor would be like, are you insane?

Debbi DiMaggio:
Before you give it up, before you give it up, Jennifer, I want you to go to the doctor. I want you to ask him, is this something that will damage my knees? I want you to do that because then you can put it out of your mind. But I think that it seems like you really wanted to do that. And there's good shoes. There's, you know, so much technology in running. I just think you need to check with your doctor to see, because sometimes doctors say you're fine. I mean, don't hurt yourself, but I would check with your doctor just to see what he says.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah, I actually was thinking about doing it cold, just like you did. Well, I won't say cold because you did mentally prepare, but no physical training. I thought, well, maybe I'll just go and do it. Or people are like, you can walk it. If your goal is to cross the finish line, you can walk it. It'll take all day, but—

Debbi DiMaggio:
Absolutely. Yeah, exactly.

Jennifer Norman:
I wanna talk about reinvention and also your TED Talk because you're about to do a TED there while you're there. But you've written a couple of books on beauty and frankly, in your 60s, you are so vital. You've got so much energy. You're running marathons. OMG. I mean, I think a lot of people would be like, okay, what's your secret? So what do you think your secret is? Or what do you think the secret is in terms of, and what's your opinion on this, on just like aging in general and beauty in general?

Debbi DiMaggio:
Absolutely. So when I wrote Beauty at Any Age, Because Age Is Just An Attitude, everyone kind of thinks of probably facelifts and Botox and things like that. And I believe that people should look and feel the way they want, number one, whatever you want, no judgment. I do have to say, being positive, I feel like I was born like the way I am. So I think a lot of that is— my chiropractor said, is this— when I ran the marathon, is it or DNA? And I'm like, it's probably a little bit of both. I mean, I was kind of— I think I was born like that. But I could tell you a little bit about me. It's that I'm always positive.

Debbi DiMaggio:
I'll never speak poorly about anyone because it doesn't get anyone anywhere. And it's a waste of time. Be kind. And all of that shows up first. And so that is really important for a beautiful person. How many times can you think of people who talk badly about people who aren't kind? And what do they look like in their faces? So that's one thing. I really think those things are very important. But I do have this crazy mindset.

Debbi DiMaggio:
When Nike came out with Just Do It, I swear that was stamped on my forehead. And ever since I saw Just Do It. My son at the time, he's now going to be 30, he was probably 10 or 8, and he was doing a Nike ad. And that Just Do It, Just Do It, and that is how I got through the marathon. That is how I do everything. No is not an option has always been part of my DNA. I didn't know anything really about mindset until I started writing about it, because then as you're trying to put it into words— but it is mindset. It's absolutely mindset, a positive mindset.

Debbi DiMaggio:
I am so open to the opportunities, and I speak about that in my book, look for the extraordinary in the ordinary because that's where the magic lies. Who am I going to meet that is going to change the trajectory of where I am today? When I was talking with the youth here in South Africa, I said, you're young and you're in high school and you're going through puberty and everything, but they're going through a hard time, these kids. But I will tell you, you have no idea the things that I've learned that they're going through yet. They are so kind and they are so poised and they speak up. And I'm like, who are you guys? You are nicer than many adults I've met. And they're just— It's incredible how kind they are. Regardless of what they're doing. But I'm the person who says— so kind of segues into the TED Talk.

Debbi DiMaggio:
So I was on a podcast and I practice what I preach. So someone said, with your book, what do you want to do? So you don't get rich off a book. Book is something that comes from the heart and you want to give. So I said, well, I really want to take this book and travel the world. I want to inspire people around the world. That is my goal.

Jennifer Norman:
Mm-hmm.

Debbi DiMaggio:
That happened right after my book came out. Someone heard the podcast, she called me up. It happened just like this. She said, I heard you want to speak. You want to be a speaker, and you want to take your book and speak. I said, I do. And she said, do you want to join Keynoters? And I said, as I do: Sure. What's that? I never ask.

Debbi DiMaggio:
I just say, sure. I'm always open to the possibilities. So I said, Sure. What's that? And she said, it's a speaking group. You come 1 o'clock and you come and there's speakers and there's people who are new speakers. Everyone's at a different level, but we just all talk. It's very organized in how we talk around the room in the Zoom, but you'll learn different things.

Debbi DiMaggio:
That very first Zoom meeting I went to, a gentleman named Frank King came on and he said he was the first person that kind of chimed in. He said, I have the ability to get any— introduce someone, any of you who'd like to do a TED Talk. The only catch is you have to go to South Africa. I heard that and I know from the course I started to take, it's a lot of work to do it, to find a TED Talk, to get accepted to a TED Talk. There's lots of applications for a TED Talk. Anyway, I had never done that. I never did that because I went on to do my book. Anyway, I went on LinkedIn right after that.

Debbi DiMaggio:
I found his website. I booked an appointment 3 days later on a Saturday at 3 o'clock. I'm like, is this guy really gonna show up? Like, this is the weirdest thing. He came on, he was gone. He didn't stay for the hour. And he showed up the afternoon Saturday at 3. I told him what I wanted to do. He said, sure, I'll introduce you.

Debbi DiMaggio:
And that is the reason I am here. I listened. I was open to the opportunities. I put it out there, right? I'd put it out there for a year that I wanted to do it. I wasn't quite ready yet because I was doing something else. I had pivoted, but it happened.

Jennifer Norman:
Mm-hmm.

Debbi DiMaggio:
And so seamlessly, I believe it was a path, but I believe in the power of mindset activation and putting it out there. It wasn't like I was hiding it. I put it out there, what we're doing now, you know, we're putting it out there and hopefully we help someone in their life is the goal with podcasting. I feel like maybe we can help someone in some way or someone can help us in some way, whatever that is.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah. Yeah. I had a lovely woman on and she's become a friend, Alexa Fisher, and she has this whole wish world and her whole thing is wishes. And some people think about wishes as just like wishing on a star, but she's very much about what you just said. It's like, if you have this energy about you that is positive, that it lights you up, it's something that you really wanna do, then the world and the universe kind of goes in motion, but it's up to you to activate it and to say yes. To say yes to those opportunities that are expansive and open new doors rather than keeping it to yourself, hiding it, being intimidated by it, all of those things which keep you small.

Debbi DiMaggio:
Yeah.

Jennifer Norman:
And so you're kind of stepping out into your light because you believe in yourself and you believe that you can inspire people around the world. And that's a beautiful goal to have. That's a beautiful vision to have. And so, yay you. I also wanna talk about success for a bit because you have the whole idea of success is now in your podcast. And I'm just curious what you think about success as you may have thought about it before and has it changed over time? And do you think that success itself can become a trap? What is your opinion on success after speaking to so many people on your podcast?

Debbi DiMaggio:
Yeah, it's a good question. I think I used to think success was money. It was having money and having all these things. And so there was a time we had multiple cars and multiple houses and stuff, and it was like, okay, we had achieved it. That was great. But then it was like our priorities changed. Now we want to travel. We want— I mean, we all have so much stuff. Americans just have so much stuff. And we're like, now I'm like, I just need to get rid of stuff. I have too many things.

Debbi DiMaggio:
But traveling is so wonderful because we get to connect with people and you have such an experience. So at Christmas time now we try to travel and we don't need more stuff. But if we can be together as a family and we can travel together and be together, that is success to me. I mean, when I was sitting there, my TED Talk opens up in St. Barts, the most beautiful place in the world.

Debbi DiMaggio:
And I'm sitting there with my grown children and people say, wow, your kids still want to travel with you. I mean, they're not kids anymore. They're 29 and 30. I mean, I'm sorry, you're probably 29. tonight. But, oh, you know, thank you. They still want to travel with us. I said, I want to travel with them.

Debbi DiMaggio:
I mean, so to be sitting in a beautiful place with your children playing dominoes at a beach club, it's like, that is success to me. That's one. And these are things that have evolved over time. And then the other one, I mean, family was always important, but that really just takes the top after you've kind of worked hard and you've made money and you're like, okay, well, yes, we need to make money to make a living and whatever. And then achieving goals are so great to have that feeling. to accomplish a goal, whatever that is. And then the third one is to find that passion, what lights your soul on fire. Today, I just, I mean, I'll probably tear up, but today talking to these young women and men who are probably, I don't know, 14, 15 years old, and after you speak and then after, and language is a little bit difficult because their accent's thicker and to connect with them.

Debbi DiMaggio:
And I just posted, people who are in summer in America are like, okay, where am I going to go? To Hawaii, Tahiti. This is not a vacation. For me, It's I'm living my purpose. I'm not you know I'm sitting in my hotel room right now and I'm doing this and I just spent hours with these young people and they asked me questions and they're like oh my god I want your book and they're like how do I without having a book how do I get my voice out there and of course I have nothing but answers. I got their phone numbers. I started sharing go to Substack. Substack is free. Start writing a blog.

Debbi DiMaggio:
I noticed right before I got on the podcast one of the young people join. I said, start whatever it is you can start. And the other thing I tell them is you, you have to reach out and ask. There are people like me and you who will answer, who will help, but we don't know unless you ask. So for me, I'm absolutely today, today fully expressed and living my passion to be able to have spent— and the TED Talk hasn't even happened. And I just am already on cloud nine helping these young people and inspiring them to just do what it is they want to do.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Debbi DiMaggio:
And they've got a lot of parents. It's tough. They have got parents saying, no, instead of doing this, you should do this. You should do a job where you're going to make money and you shouldn't be an engineer or this because it's going to take too long or whatever. You know, there's a lot going on in all families.

Jennifer Norman:
Oh, absolutely. Well, I think that you're helping them to be courageous. I think that's a lot of— yeah, yeah. There's especially when you're young, you just don't know and you're still learning and gaining skills and you're helping them to just start. I think Just do it. You know, as you were saying before, it's just like, you know, do something and then remember that there are people that are really willing to help you, just like The Alchemist. You know, the universe will conspire in your favor.

Debbi DiMaggio:
Yes.

Jennifer Norman:
So I think that that's lovely that you're giving them that motivation to know that they, they can do it, whatever they set their mind to. And that's really like what you're expressing to everybody. Whatever you set your mind to, you can, you can do it. I think that's very cool.

Debbi DiMaggio:
But ask for help. It's okay to ask for help. You don't have to do it. I think some people think they have to do it alone. You don't have to do it alone.

Jennifer Norman:
They do. Yeah. Yeah. I know that that was an opinion that I held for a long time. I'm curious what you think about in terms of people who seem or are deeply fulfilled. Do you think that there's a trait that they have in common?

Debbi DiMaggio:
I'm thinking of my podcast guests. I think it's that the people who have that, they're happy because they're doing something from the heart. They're passionate about it. I think it's really, really hard to be fulfilled if you're not really passionate about what you're doing. Some people say that's overrated, passionate about something, but yeah, it's going to be really hard to do something if you're not passionate about it. And so I think like me, I mean, I've done a lot of different things. And the one thing that is in everything I do from my charity work to helping and mentoring to coaching to real estate, it's all about giving. giving and being of service.

Debbi DiMaggio:
And I think like this one guy, he was amazing. He's a coach now and he was from Ireland. He was coaching women in Saudi Arabia. I mean, he's all over the place. And he had a father that was just tough on him. And he went in, he was a fighter pilot in the British Army. He'd done everything and excelled in so many ways, but he never felt fulfilled until he finally worked through it and what he wanted to do for himself and helping other people. So I think it comes down to the trait is I think you have to be your authentic self.

Debbi DiMaggio:
And I think when you're ready to listen here, that becomes the trait, listening to your heart. And it takes a while to get there sometimes because you have so many people, so much input, social media, this, this, everyone has something to say.

Jennifer Norman:
Mm-hmm.

Debbi DiMaggio:
So I think it takes time. I don't think it doesn't just happen. I think it's time. It's not like, oh, we all have this one gene. I really think it's time and learning. And like, I go back, I was working with someone point. And he said, I'm a late bloomer. You had to go through all this stuff to get to now.

Debbi DiMaggio:
Some— whatever I'm doing now could have maybe happened with someone at a younger age. It's just like, I was talking to a girl yesterday and she's a new mom, 2 kids. She's like, I realized I didn't need to just be content. It's hard when you're married and you have kids and you should be happy, right? And you should be content.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Debbi DiMaggio:
And she was describing how she'd go to the office and she was just like listening to this conversation and she was so bored. And I said, oh, I went through that when my kids were in school. I tried to just not dumb myself down, but not to be too happy all the time and not to be too having all these great ideas of things that I wanted to do. It was for me. It wasn't for competition. It was only things that I wanted to do. It doesn't matter to someone else. She said, do I have to wait that long before I can find myself and move out of this just being content? I said, no, you've got me now.

Debbi DiMaggio:
I'll help you. You can start and you can activate and do what you need to do to fill yourself. You've got a wonderful husband and you could be grateful for that. You can be grateful for your kids that you have that, but you also don't have to wait to fill your heart.

Jennifer Norman:
Mm-hmm.

Debbi DiMaggio:
You write your own book and you're the actor in your own play or movie. So it's up to you and you don't need to wait. And I think a lot of us think we have to, like I did. And I'm a late bloomer because of that. I tried to confine myself. Well, my first book is called Contained Beauty: Photographs, Reflections, and Swimming Pools. Because I always in high school, when the kids were in high school, throughout school, I always tried to contain myself so I wouldn't be too much for anyone. And once they left and they were gone, I had to express myself and I had to reinvent.

Debbi DiMaggio:
And some friends are playing bridge and pickleball and I'm in South Africa talking to youth. I'm not sitting at a beach. I'm, I'm inspiring youth on, if you'd call it a holiday, but I'm here to do something that touches my heart.

Jennifer Norman:
Wow. That's great. I'm just curious if you could save everybody listening 10 years of unnecessary struggle, what would you tell them today?

Debbi DiMaggio:
They have to follow their heart. They have to listen to their gut. And your gut and your heart do not lie. So I would have to say, go with your intuition, follow your heart. Don't wait till you're 62 or 55. Start now. Live your life. It's your life. You have one life.

Debbi DiMaggio:
So get out of your own way and don't make excuses. Oh, don't make excuses. If you're unsure of something, ask the professional who could guide you, a therapist, a doctor, a coach. Get a second opinion on your intuition. But, but don't, but don't ask your parents because my parents were freaked out. Like, you're going to South Africa? Like, oh my God, what's gonna— I mean, I even went to the travel doctor because I didn't know what was gonna happen. Everyone was putting the fear.

Debbi DiMaggio:
It's like I'm in California right now. It's really not so different. That's amazing.

Jennifer Norman:
Well, thank you so much for all of that wisdom. Before we close, I would like to ask you 3 questions that I ask every guest at the end of the podcast. My first one is, what do you think makes you beautiful?

Debbi DiMaggio:
Oh, definitely my heart.

Jennifer Norman:
Definitely your heart. You've mentioned heart several times. And so, yes, I think that that is key for you. What do you think that it means to be human?

Debbi DiMaggio:
Oh, to have compassion. Mm-hmm.

Jennifer Norman:
Beautiful answer. And what is one truth that you live by?

Debbi DiMaggio:
No is not an option.

Jennifer Norman:
Love that.

Debbi DiMaggio:
Yeah, yeah.

Jennifer Norman:
Well, I think that this has been a really inspiring conversation. I wish you very well as you're there on your TEDx journey talking with kids. I think that's absolutely amazing. I would love for everybody here and now to challenge an old belief that you have had. I think that this is an opportunity to choose courage over comfort. Every time that we stop waiting for permission and take one small step toward the life that we want. I think that we are moving more towards self-expression. I think that those great transformations aren't changing or becoming someone new. It's really remembering and expressing who you have been all along.

Jennifer Norman:
If you'd like to connect with or learn more about her coaching, books, speaking, or the Mindset in Motion method, visit debbidimaggio.com. You can also listen to her podcast, Mastering the Art of Success, and follow her on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok. If you've enjoyed today's conversation, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with somebody who's ready to embrace their next chapter. Until next time, remember that real beauty isn't about perfection. It is about living authentically, loving deeply, and having the courage to keep becoming. I'm Jennifer Norman, and this is The Human Beauty Movement Podcast. I'll see you in the next episode.

Jennifer Norman:
Thank you for listening to The Human Beauty Movement Podcast. Be sure to Follow, rate, and review us wherever you stream podcasts. The Human Beauty Movement is a community-based platform that cultivates the beauty of humankind. Check out our workshops, find us on social media, and share our inspiration with all the beautiful humans in your life. Learn more at thehumanbeautymovement.com. Thank you so much for being a beautiful human.