Episode 38: Kelsea Koenreich - Girl, Know Your Power!

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Hello, beautiful humans.
Welcome to another episode of

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Role Models juicy conversations
with beautiful humans.

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I'm Jennifer Norman founder of
the human Beauty movement and

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your host, this podcast thrives
on your support.

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So if you like what you hear
follow us right as reviewers and

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share this episode with
everyone, you know, across your

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networks.
So today we're going to talk

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about the comeback and how you
are stronger.

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ER, and more resilient than, you
know, to overcome any setback,

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my special guest is Kelsey can
dry, Kelsey is a business

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Mentor, for impact driven, CEOs,
and entrepreneurs, she Rose from

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the darkness of nightly binge
drinking three arrests and a

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jail cell to become the thriving
business.

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Owner author, speaker, wife, and
mother of three that she is

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today.
Welcome Kelsey.

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Hi, I'm so happy to be here.
I'm delighted to have you here

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now.
Many of the guests that I have

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on this show, I've Elected
because they embody the Phoenix

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rising from the ashes.
And you are absolutely that

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overcoming trauma and hardships
is not easy.

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And so the more that I shine a
light on how others did it, I

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believe it will help Inspire
others to find their own

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strength to persevere and Thrive
as well.

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So I'd love for you to tell us
what you were like in those

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early dark days and what your
wake-up call was mmm.

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Yeah.
So I'm going to start with the

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last part of that question.
First, my wake-up call,

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actually, as you in Introduce
me, was that third arrest?

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That was the moment where
everything changed for me.

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I woke up in the medical unit at
the county jail.

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And there was a moment where I
stood up and I Met Myself and My

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Eyes in the mirror.
And I always say that like a

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mirror changed my life.
And so I became one and that was

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the moment to where I had to
take responsibility for where I

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was, and the life that I had
created was a product of my own

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choice.
Is and while it was definitely

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you know very much a punch in
the gut to take that

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responsibility it also you know
with awareness comes change and

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I took my power back in that
moment by saying if you created

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this result what can you create
if you choose differently and so

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that was my wake-up call I
didn't want to live like that

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anymore and I knew that with the
path that I was on that.

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I probably would not have lived
much longer and so I chose to To

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change my entire life.
I mean that in every single

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aspect I was so scared.
I didn't know you know I had

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built this life around partying,
I was a bartender.

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It was all that I really knew
was that kind of social life.

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You know I love people and being
around people and I knew that I

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was going to lose all my friends
and I, you know, I was so scared

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of that and so scared of all the
change that I would have to

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make, but in those early days
and those dark Days when I was

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in a very, very deep and dark
Valley, I always remembered

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there being some sort of glimmer
of hope that like, there is

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something there that is bigger.
I didn't know what I was meant

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for or where I was going or how
exactly I was going to get

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there.
But I knew that there was

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something else and that's a big
part of like why I do what I do

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now.
But in those stages what was

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really the most helpful thing
for me is like I said, I had to

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basically peel everything Back,
I had to come back to Ground

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Zero, I had to start over and so
finding new support finding

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people who could be in my corner
reaching out, life coaching

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therapy, just filling myself
with as much support like, once

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I really harness the power of
being able to change my internal

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State, that's when I fell in
love with Fitness, and it was

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just like a new commitment and a
new Devotion, to living and

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living differently.
So, I would say that, you know,

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that was Wake up call and those
dark days.

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Those very very hard.
And hopeless days were made just

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a little bit easier because I
was so committed to creating

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something different that I asked
for as much.

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Help with that.
I could.

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Mmm, amazing.
Thank you so much for being so

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open and sharing all of that.
And I feel that a lot of people

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nowadays there is this sense of
overwhelm and they use various

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coping mechanisms in order to
just get through the day either

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to numb a certain feeling or a
Certain emotion that is

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happening or just to push off
some decision-making and some

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important things that are going
on in their life.

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And I think turning to drink or
turning to partying is a very

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common behavior, isn't it?
And so, I've actually been

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experiencing a lot of that with
some friends and family members

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that are in, you know, my space
now.

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And it seems I always wonder is,
like, is it because I'm just

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aware of it that it seems like
it's escalating.

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Oh, yeah.
Mm.

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You try acting like it.
How is this happening?

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But yeah, it seems like more and
more people are just not knowing

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what to do in order to get out
of it once they get into it.

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And so life coaching therapy,
those things that you turn to

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when you realize, I've got to
look myself in the mirror and

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make a change for the better,
and I better do it now or else.

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It's, I'm not going to be here
very much longer.

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That was your way of digging out
of that dark space, right?

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Yeah, it was just like, I had
always been Been very resilient

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and I think that sometimes as
powerful as we are as women

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sometimes our strengths are also
our weaknesses and because I

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had, you know, been so
independent because I had been

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through so much because I had
survived everything that I had

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been through up until that
point.

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I think that I was resistant to
asking for help convinced that I

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could do it by myself but that
turned into a constant cycle of

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me never getting where I
actually wanted to go.

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Cuz I wouldn't allow myself to
be supported and so that was the

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biggest change for me was
allowing myself to be supported

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in new ways.
Yeah, that is a very good point

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where you feel like you can just
do it on your own without the

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help of others.
And you realize that, you know,

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there are more answers out there
than you yourself, may be able

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to manage at a specific time
especially when faced with a lot

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of Tendencies and habits and
proclivities and getting that

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assistance.
That you need that vulnerability

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of asking for help and being
open to receiving help and being

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open to hearing some things.
That might not feel very good.

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Might not sound like something
that you want to hear.

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But ultimately you know, is true
about yourself is one of the

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very first and most important
parts of the process in order to

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heal.
Yeah, I agree.

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I agree so much and I think that
there is such a beautiful change

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that can happen.
And we allow ourselves that

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support when we start to see
asking for help as powerful

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instead of week, when we start
looking at like, this is what

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I'm really good at.
And this is what I still need

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some additional help with and
just like, allowing yourself to

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feel that and be a part of
something that is bigger than

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you.
That you can get a new

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perspective.
You can, you know, face that

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mirror, you can take
accountability for.

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What is yours?
It's just, that's Where real

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change occurs and I wanted to
focus a little bit on that word

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power for a quick moment because
I think to your point, it can be

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taken in a couple of different
ways.

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Like, oh, I have the power.
I am empowered, I don't need

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anybody else's help, you know,
up in power, and power, and

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power.
And so, yes, as women and also

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men, the belief that power means
I should be able to handle this

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on my own.
But on the other side, what

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happens is they're also playing
the victim and feeling that

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these things are happening to
you.

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And it's Others to blame and
there's a relinquishing of power

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to whatever you're susceptible
to, right?

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So can you talk a little bit
more about, you know, you talked

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about bringing a whole new level
of power into the room so that

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you can reach your potential.
So I'd love to hear.

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What do you mean by that?
Hmm, yes.

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So it's very interesting because
when I think about how our I

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teach women how to become their
own power source, not in the way

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of not asking for help but not
seeking external.

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Change before you change
internally, meaning that so many

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of us, give our power away to
external circumstances, we give

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our power away to other people.
We let other people in

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situations and circumstances and
responsibilities.

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Determine how we show up and how
we lead and how we move in our

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lives.
And what I believe is, when you

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are connected to you as your
power source, you move

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differently because you no
longer need external validation.

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Don't need permission.
You don't need all the things

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that we were taught, especially
as women to me.

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We are so taught and trained to
focus on external achievements

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and external accomplishments
that has become.

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We ignore our intuition, we
ignore the things that we really

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want, but when you are connected
to your power, when you are your

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own power source and you don't
need anybody to tell you, like I

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said, to give you permission to
tell you that it's okay.

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Okay to tell you you can proceed
when you feel powerful and you

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trust yourself because that's
really the key to being your own

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power sources is cultivating.
Deep self-trust is that you,

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like I said, you move
differently.

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You move with more certainty.
You move with more confidence

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and that's what I believe about
power.

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Yeah.
And many of us have blind spots

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when it comes to our own self
reflection will very easily.

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See what's wrong with somebody
else?

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Or judge somebody else for a day
or even like, They're wearing or

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whatnot.
But it's so difficult for us to

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be able to see that without
somebody else, mentioning it and

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then, you know, it becomes
uncomfortable if you don't

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receive it very well.
And so I'm curious like what are

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some of the biggest gaps that
you see people facing that

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prevents them from having true
freedom and success in their

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lives?
It's you kind of goes back to I

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think there's a few things here,
I think.

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Number one is the inability to
ask for help and I believe that

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I do think that we have
progressed forward from where

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more people are not seeing I'm
asking as help as a weakness but

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what I do think is that I think
that we are still stuck in the

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budding of heads, the resistance
around needing to be broken.

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In order to ask for help, you
know, needing to hit a rock

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bottom before you move up
needing to fall down before you

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can move forward.
And I really wholeheartedly

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believe that, you know, you can
ask for help just because you

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believe you're worthy of A New
Perspective of A new skill, you

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don't have to wait until you're
broken.

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And so I think that's one of the
biggest gaps that I see is that

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people still wait too long.
They are their own biggest

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obstacle, you know.
It's like the thing that holds

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people back from their success
and their potential is number

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one, I think that in the second
piece of that would be you know,

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they're stepping on their own
toes because they're so

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convinced that what they know or
what, they don't know determines

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Like, how they move or what's
possible for them?

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Your potential is something that
you can't fully see yourself,

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because you're in yourself and
we don't, I believe that.

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I have things that are
untouched.

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You have things that are
untouched and in order to

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actually be able to see and
uncover that potential it

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requires, it being a
collaborative effort.

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So, I think that there's, you
know, the gap of still being a

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little behind in that.
Like, let's wait till it's

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broken to fix it.
I think there is the gap.

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Of us believing that our goals
are, our potential are things

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that we can fully see right now.
And I also think that there is a

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gap in us, as women still being
so independent and determined to

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follow other Pathways versus
creating our own.

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And that is huge gap, is that we
feel like well they've there is

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a path for me to follow and that
is how how it's been done.

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And so I will follow that versus
believing in yourself enough to

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create your own path to forge
your own path.

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To say this is new and I haven't
seen it done before.

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But let me try, let me see what
happens if I put myself in this

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experience.
Brilliant, really.

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I almost liken it to the
situation where it's somebody

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hasn't hit rock bottom.
And we don't wish that on

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anyone.
But there are improvements in

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relationships, or in your
success and things that are

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going on in your life, that
Every single day, the hope and

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the goal is for you to be
continuously curious and

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continuously improving yourself.
So that tomorrow is a better day

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than yesterday and when people
get into a situation where there

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is a numbing or There is almost
like this functioning addiction,

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if you will, and they don't
perceive that, anything is

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really wrong, like they're
keeping their lives together.

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So what's the harm?
It's that they're not even

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recognizing that little by
little things are getting worse

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when they could be getting.
We should be getting better.

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And I think that that's the part
that is so difficult.

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For people to see in themselves
without and what happens is, I

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think that the reminders just
seemed like nagging when other

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people are trying to say, Hey,
you know, maybe this isn't quite

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so great for you.
Then they're like yeah I'm

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actually doing fine.
Thank you very much in mind your

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own business, right?
No.

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Yeah I'm just curious.
What is that ultimately will

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break through to somebody and
say, you know what?

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This is actually a really good
thing.

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Perhaps There's A Better Way,
perhaps, there's things that you

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can be doing that are healthier
and not as you know,

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destructive.
Yeah.

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The belief that you're actually
worthy of having that hmm

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because for so many people it's
when it comes to self-sabotage

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self-destruction even if it's
subconsciously you don't even

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recognize that you're doing it.
It is because there is some sort

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of belief that you're holding
that.

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You're not deserving of anything
better, you know.

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This is why women hold
themselves back financially.

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It's like again, that ingrained
feeling of like, I can only have

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this much, you know, I can only
be like this.

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Is my this is my capacity
whether that's For Love or for

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wealth, or for clients or
whatever it is like you

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shortchanging yourself because
you have the belief that more is

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greedy and you have enough, and
that's why so many people wait

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until something's broken to fix
it.

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That's why so many people, you
know, are holding themselves

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back from having more because
they're like well I have enough.

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A lot of my clients are very
externally successful, very

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successful businesses.
And yet, they still find,

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there's this like nagging
feeling, like you said of like,

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something's going on here.
And it's like they're lacking

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balance in their lives.
They're not, truly fulfilled by

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their work or their
relationships and there's always

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something like you said that
that we can do to improve and

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that's why coaches have coaches.
That's why therapists have

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therapists, like, it's so
important to be connected to

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other people and just hear the
different perspectives and be

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ask, the hard questions, you
know.

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Mmm.
Yeah.

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Previously in my life I think
that everybody would agree when

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I would say yes I was a
workaholic and it was just this

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constant striving and ambition
and competitiveness to get ahead

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and though I had a certain
amount of success in my life,

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you know, financially and then
career-wise, I wouldn't

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necessarily say that I felt
fulfilled.

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I felt like I was kind of on
this autopilot that I was doing

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it to just almost get to this
external level of success.

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Of what is By that.
And certainly, I got to a

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breaking point.
I got to a place of burnout for

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many different reasons, and I
had to step back from that and

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be like, you know what?
It's okay, and I really learned

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to prioritize happiness.
It looks different.

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It feels extremely different
everyday is like, so a, but like

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the abundance.
I feel in every single day now

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of just being able to breathe
and see nature and it's just

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like, I feel so completely
different.

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But it is the balance of how,
you know, to manage getting into

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a place where You feel that
you're financially being

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00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:34,600
fulfilled as well as feeling
like you're completely happy

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with how you are operating your
life without getting to a place

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of burnout or you know, mental
unwellness if you will.

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Yeah.
Finding that balance I think is

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probably one of our greatest
challenges that we have is

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people is like how can I check
all of the boxes?

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And like, that's one thing that
I've really devoted myself to is

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like living and being the
constant reminder to women that

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like you can have it all.
You know, I was unwilling to You

305
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:05,000
sacrifice my ambition, and my
purpose through my business to

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be a mom, but I was also
unwilling to sacrifice being a

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mom for my business.
So I've always built and I teach

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my clients to build their
businesses around their light,

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build your career, around your
life, build, you know what you

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want.
Has to come first prioritizing

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yourself and your fulfillment.
And if you do that from the

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00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:27,800
foundation, if your foundation
is built on your happiness, like

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00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,200
you said, in like prioritizing,
That then you do do the things

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differently, you set different
boundaries you say, no, two

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00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:37,200
different things and those are
like the key little shifts that

316
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,500
people have to make to where
it's like, wow, I can breathe.

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I do have space.
Like, I am showing up fully more

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energetically aligned in my
work.

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And I'm also able to be present
with the people that I love, and

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I think that is true, true
Freedom.

321
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:55,400
Right?
Is being able to live in like,

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00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,900
move throughout your day to
where you're like I can make the

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choice.
Like, what is my intention in

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00:18:01,008 --> 00:18:02,700
this room?
How do I want to show up in this

325
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room?
Where am I?

326
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:08,900
Am I fully present without like
anxiety and fear and doubt and

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00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:11,700
your to-do list following you
into every room that you

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00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:14,000
entered.
So, yeah, and you talk about

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00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,400
creating long-term
sustainability and success and I

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00:18:17,408 --> 00:18:18,900
really think that that comes
down to it.

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Like, if you are operating at a
place that is not sustainable.

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Like, you're constantly on the
go, you're not getting enough

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00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:24,500
sleep.
You're not taking care of

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00:18:24,508 --> 00:18:27,500
yourself physically, and you're
emotionally, a relationship.

335
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Start going by the wayside
because you're so focused.

336
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,500
Ston work or contrarily if you
think about yourself as being

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00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,900
like, okay, well, I'm just going
to sit back on my Laurels and I

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00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:37,700
am enough.
A lot of people nowadays are

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00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,500
saying, yes I am enough, but
does that mean that you're just,

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that's it.
You're not going to get anymore

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or that you're not deserving of
any more like to me.

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00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,100
That's a little bit of a strange
thing to say is like I am enough

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the way that I am and then it's
like that's it.

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I'm done.
I'm enough you know so I think

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that there's a healthy balance
somewhere in between right.

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00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,800
Yes.
And I love that you brought this

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up because one of the things I
say Very, very often is that

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contentment can live in the same
room as more meaning that you

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00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,200
don't have to.
Like, just like, you don't have

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to wait till it's broken to fix
it.

351
00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:13,700
You don't have to not have
enough to want more, and you

352
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:16,400
don't just because you want more
doesn't mean you're not

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satisfied with what you have.
And I think that's the thing

354
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that's it's that uncomfortable
gray area, right?

355
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,300
Like, it's the All or Nothing,
we love quick fixes, we love,

356
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,400
you know, fastest, we love
speed.

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We love Quantum, leaps, all this
stuff.

358
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And it's like you said that
people are so attracted to these

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00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:34,600
extremes.
And it's like in business,

360
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,600
people are like, oh you need to
run a feminine, a laid-back, a

361
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,400
flowy business.
And I'm like well, that doesn't

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00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,000
work because you also need
structure and strategy and then

363
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,100
people go to the other end to
where they're burning themselves

364
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,400
out and filling their calendars
because they're like, I'm making

365
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:51,300
moves, I'm doing the things I'm
like, the answer is in the gray.

366
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It's always in the gray, in the
balance.

367
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:58,600
Yeah, yeah, I liken it to being
satisfied with where you are,

368
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:02,500
but eager for more, Like there's
always this curiosity and this

369
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:05,800
enthusiasm for more in your
life, it doesn't mean to your

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00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:09,600
point that you are not enough.
It doesn't mean that you should

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00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,100
just sit back and say, you know
what, I'm done and I don't need

372
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:15,400
to do anything because you know
the universe is going to bring

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00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,200
it to me when you need to take
inspired action towards the

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00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,400
goals and the things that you
want to have.

375
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:24,100
Yes, yes, yes.
And I think it's also like I

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00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:28,100
hold the belief that like we are
humans and we are evolved and

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00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:32,700
evolution means growth, like if
we're not pouring into us in

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00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:35,900
some sort of aspect and it
doesn't always mean, you know, a

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00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:39,300
lot of like my business owners
are so solely focused on

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00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:41,600
business growth.
That sometimes in our coaching,

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00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:45,500
I'm like we need to actually
focus on pouring back into like

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00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:49,200
your health or let's pour back
into like these other buckets of

383
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:52,300
fun and play because it's so
off-kilter.

384
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:56,500
So I think you know there's
space for having it all and you

385
00:20:56,500 --> 00:21:00,700
know you have to find your
balance but there Is no point

386
00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:03,200
in, which we just are supposed
to stop growing.

387
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,100
Exactly.
Now, you also talk about

388
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:09,700
communication and effective
leadership inside and outside

389
00:21:09,700 --> 00:21:11,600
the business.
And I know that your clientele

390
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:15,800
is primarily females CEOs,
business owners, entrepreneurs.

391
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:19,200
And so what are some of the
things that you are finding that

392
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,100
can be helpful for them to be
able to either communicate

393
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:26,800
boundaries or to be able to
establish a, a point of view for

394
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:31,000
their company effectively.
Like I I will say that as a

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00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:36,000
leader, whether you have a team
of one or whether you are a mom,

396
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,200
and your leadership is being a
leader to your children.

397
00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:41,600
I have the belief that like
we're all leaders, somebody's

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00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,100
watching us.
And as a leader, the most

399
00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:47,800
important skill that you can
have is communication being able

400
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,700
to communicate.
Clearly is how you communicate

401
00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:55,100
effectively.
Because so often women are like,

402
00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:57,500
well, I'm not getting what I
want, or I'm not getting what I

403
00:21:57,508 --> 00:22:00,900
need and I'm like, are you
asking for Are you clearly

404
00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:02,700
stating?
This is what I need.

405
00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:04,900
So when I'm talking to business
owners and we're talking about

406
00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:10,000
their teams, it's like, are you
giving them the details of what

407
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,000
you need and when you need it
and how you need it and are you

408
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,000
doing the same and your
relationships?

409
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,600
You know, so many people are
with partners and they're not

410
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:21,000
being fulfilled, for whatever
reasons, are you asking for it,

411
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,100
you know, and that's, you know,
if we can take accountability

412
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:27,700
for what's ours and say, okay,
well I'm actually not being

413
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:30,600
clear about what I want.
I'm Holding unrealistic

414
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:34,200
expectations for this person on
the other side and they don't

415
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,300
have any idea of what I actually
need because I'm not telling

416
00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:39,400
them.
So I think, you know, as Leaders

417
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:43,300
we need Clarity, we need to be
really really clear about what

418
00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:46,700
we are and what we want and
what's important to us because

419
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:49,000
the more clear we are on the
back end, the more clear we can

420
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,100
be on the front end to people
that we come in contact with

421
00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:54,400
whether that's inside or outside
the business.

422
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:58,100
So my client and communicating
effectively is about them

423
00:22:58,100 --> 00:23:00,300
getting that Clarity.
So that They can go and

424
00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:03,400
communicate that to the people
inside and outside the business.

425
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,800
That's so true.
And I've been guilty of it

426
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,600
myself, not that I'm guilting
myself.

427
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,500
But I recall there would be many
occasions where I would think to

428
00:23:10,508 --> 00:23:12,100
myself.
Well, that person should know

429
00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:15,500
what I want.
If they Veer a or if they were

430
00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:18,600
really an exceptional employee,
like, they should know.

431
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,900
They should have the talent.
They should have the foresight

432
00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:23,500
to know what I want but then
Anna.

433
00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:27,200
No, it doesn't work that way.
Yeah.

434
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:28,900
Yeah.
And there's a difference in

435
00:23:28,900 --> 00:23:32,200
clear and Ineffective,
communication and micromanaging

436
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,400
to it's different.
When you give your people space

437
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,400
to do, what is their zone of
Genius?

438
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,200
What they're, you know what?
They're on the team to do or in

439
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,300
the partnership to do, but we
have to pay attention to our

440
00:23:43,300 --> 00:23:47,200
words and this is the part of
growth is that we come from, you

441
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,600
know, the generations before us.
Like we were not taught to

442
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,700
communicate, not about feelings,
not about and people there's

443
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:56,400
this weird gray area to wear one
of my CEOs.

444
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,100
She's like, you know, we talk
about like feelings and there

445
00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:03,100
and I'm like Absolutely, you do.
Absolutely because the more that

446
00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:06,300
you can bring those, you know,
I'm not saying that you need to

447
00:24:06,308 --> 00:24:08,600
be best friends with everybody
and your whole team.

448
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:12,100
But like, when you have people
that work for you, if you care

449
00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:16,300
for them, they care for you and
care and relationships are built

450
00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:19,400
by you being there and you
asking those tough questions,

451
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:23,000
and you asking about where they
see themselves in the company or

452
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,800
whatever it is and like, what's
going on, what's going on

453
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,700
outside of work.
And so I think a lot of

454
00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:32,900
leadership can be Expanded upon
or done better by just thinking

455
00:24:32,900 --> 00:24:36,600
about it more from a human to
human connection.

456
00:24:36,900 --> 00:24:39,500
Exactly.
You also talk about rewriting

457
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:41,900
The Narrative to show of
authentically.

458
00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:43,500
Can you share what you mean by
that?

459
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,600
Yeah, so I think that
authenticity is like one of

460
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,600
those words that were like, oh
yes, like it's a buzzword.

461
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,600
Everybody shows up, you know,
authentically and it's like

462
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:56,400
every single person that I know
when I start working with my

463
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,400
clients and they feel like okay
I am my authentic self.

464
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:01,300
I'm like, okay, let's go back
this layer.

465
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,100
Okay, let's peel back this
layer.

466
00:25:03,100 --> 00:25:08,100
So I think, you know, rewriting
authenticity to like what is

467
00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:11,000
your truth?
What is not the truth that you

468
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,200
feel like you need to show up
for or you feel like, you know,

469
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:17,600
it's almost like vulnerability
became like performance art to

470
00:25:17,608 --> 00:25:20,000
where it's like, okay, I'm going
to tell this story because I

471
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,600
know that will attract people
and that will get me business or

472
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,800
that will get me attention.
Like, so when I think about

473
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:29,600
authenticity and like, really
being your true self, it It's

474
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,200
about removing the filters.
It's about really taking away

475
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:37,000
the performance aspect of it and
really focusing on.

476
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,400
Can you just be yourself
regardless of what your title

477
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,100
is, regardless of what your
purpose is regardless of what

478
00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:45,900
kind of room you're in?
Can you just be yourself or does

479
00:25:45,900 --> 00:25:48,100
that make you uncomfortable?
Because if there's discomfort

480
00:25:48,100 --> 00:25:50,100
there, that's what needs to be
addressed.

481
00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:52,700
Because, for most people, I was
just talking to a client and

482
00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:55,600
she's like, well, I kind of
change what I say based upon

483
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,400
like who I'm speaking to like if
it's somebody like higher up in

484
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,600
the organization, Like there's
still those pieces so I think

485
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,800
authenticity.
Most people are like one being

486
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,400
myself but I'm like what version
of yourself.

487
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,400
Mmm.
And so let's talk a little bit

488
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,600
more about that because I think
that that might be a little

489
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,600
confusing.
And I'd love to get more clarity

490
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:17,500
around that because certainly we
are multifaceted human beings.

491
00:26:17,500 --> 00:26:20,900
And so when we step into, you
know, a situation with our kids,

492
00:26:20,900 --> 00:26:24,000
we're not going to use the same
tone as we are with CEO of a

493
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:28,200
company or, you know, a client.
And so, when you say, well, I

494
00:26:28,208 --> 00:26:30,400
take a certain tone.
And is that wrong?

495
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,300
Or is that correct?
Is that perceived as being

496
00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:37,600
inauthentic or what is it?
That we feel is, you know, truly

497
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:41,100
the way that we can show up as
ourselves and still relate very

498
00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:42,800
well to who we are communicating
to.

499
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,200
So that the message is received.
Mmm.

500
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,500
Yeah, the key is like you said,
you're going to be.

501
00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:51,500
I speak differently to my
children than I speak right now,

502
00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:52,600
obviously?
Right?

503
00:26:52,700 --> 00:26:55,100
So it's not necessarily about
the tone.

504
00:26:55,100 --> 00:26:58,700
It's about the core it's about
you being at the core, the same

505
00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:03,000
person Not necessarily putting
on like, oh I need to be.

506
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,900
I'm not as confident.
If I walk into this room.

507
00:27:05,900 --> 00:27:09,400
I'm afraid when I walk into this
room, I think of it.

508
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,000
Physically, like, when you're in
the situation, you feel like the

509
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,400
lump and your the back of your
throat.

510
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,200
That is a filter that is fear.
There is some sort of message

511
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,600
and you that's being applied in
the stomach.

512
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:21,900
It can happen.
Sadly.

513
00:27:21,900 --> 00:27:25,400
And number and a number of ways.
Yes, yes, exactly.

514
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,300
And so I think that there's it's
important to be able to

515
00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:31,500
recognize that in our our bodies
and feel into that and breathe

516
00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:35,100
into that of like, is this, you
know, is this an emotion or is

517
00:27:35,100 --> 00:27:38,400
this truly me filtering
something because that's what

518
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,400
will come next for people is
that will feel like that

519
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:45,200
excitement or that fear, or that
need to be a certain way.

520
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,600
And then it's like, oh now I
have to change the way that I

521
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,600
word things now I have to make
sure I don't speak about that

522
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:52,500
part.
So like, for me to give you a

523
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:55,700
specific example, you know, I
have a different tone regardless

524
00:27:55,700 --> 00:27:58,400
of where I'm speaking or if I'm
talking to the kids or whatever.

525
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:04,500
But at Mike, Or I am so okay,
with my history, what I went

526
00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:08,400
through, I've really shame, I
really judgment and so I don't

527
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,400
need.
I'm so unafraid of, I could walk

528
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,300
into any room, it regardless of
somebody's income level their

529
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:19,300
title, whatever and be myself
and say, yes, that was my

530
00:28:19,300 --> 00:28:20,600
history.
That was my past.

531
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,500
This is who I am now.
And so, while the tone may

532
00:28:23,500 --> 00:28:27,000
change, the core doesn't mmm.
So for some people, it might be

533
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:31,300
breaking through the discomfort.
Effort of feeling shame or

534
00:28:31,300 --> 00:28:35,100
feeling that they are not able
to necessarily release that

535
00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:37,300
trauma, like, it will be
constantly bringing it back up,

536
00:28:37,300 --> 00:28:39,000
you know, triggers certain
things.

537
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,000
And so that is perhaps the
deeper healing that needs to

538
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:45,400
happen in order for them to
truly feel that they can express

539
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,700
themselves fully.
Otherwise, they might be hiding

540
00:28:47,700 --> 00:28:51,600
or there might be this duplicity
that starts to evolve out in

541
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:55,000
trying to Showcase a certain
base or filter as you say with,

542
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,500
you know, anybody that they're
coming in contact with.

543
00:28:57,500 --> 00:28:59,900
That's exactly it.
Yeah, that's Exactly.

544
00:28:59,900 --> 00:29:02,500
It is, it's not again.
We're multifaceted.

545
00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:06,500
And so we are different people,
but it's all the same person.

546
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:10,100
So, what we have to be really
cognizant of is, what are you

547
00:29:10,100 --> 00:29:12,100
changing about the actual
person?

548
00:29:12,100 --> 00:29:13,400
That's what I mean about the
war.

549
00:29:13,500 --> 00:29:14,600
Hmm.
Brilliant.

550
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,800
And so, you are a life coach,
how can people work with you?

551
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,900
How do they find you?
And what do you offer?

552
00:29:19,900 --> 00:29:22,500
Yeah, so I have a couple of
different options.

553
00:29:22,500 --> 00:29:26,300
It's very interesting because I
am so weird about titles.

554
00:29:26,300 --> 00:29:28,600
It's like, there's business
coaching, there's life coaching,

555
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:32,600
but truly, Lee I've worked with
women all over the world for 11

556
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,400
years now and different
Industries.

557
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,200
And the best place to find me is
on Instagram.

558
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:41,300
That's you know my home place
and usually you can just DM me

559
00:29:41,300 --> 00:29:43,000
on there and have a
conversation.

560
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,200
I love talking to people.
I love getting to know people.

561
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,100
I love helping women, you know,
break through barriers and

562
00:29:49,100 --> 00:29:52,200
really free themselves.
So they can create, you know,

563
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,300
their true potential and step
into the power that's actually

564
00:29:55,300 --> 00:29:57,900
meant for them because that's
what holds us back from living

565
00:29:57,900 --> 00:29:59,700
our purposes.
We just make our Ourselves

566
00:29:59,700 --> 00:30:01,700
smaller.
So yeah, that's where I hang

567
00:30:01,700 --> 00:30:03,700
amazing.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is

568
00:30:03,700 --> 00:30:06,700
tell seek Henry, please look her
up on Instagram.

569
00:30:06,700 --> 00:30:09,500
I'll put all of her information
in the show notes that you can

570
00:30:09,500 --> 00:30:12,100
find her Kelsey.
Thank you so much for being a

571
00:30:12,100 --> 00:30:15,300
role models guest today.
Thank you so much for having me.