Episode 59: Farah Merani - Representation In The Media

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Hello, beautiful humans.
Welcome to the human Beauty

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movement podcast.
I'm your host Jennifer Norman.

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Throughout my life, I've been a
lover and a seeker of all things

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beauty from art and dance to
cosmetics, and fashion to music

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and nature.
But through my own personal

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Journey.
I've come to discover what I

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believe is the most beautiful
thing.

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In the universe, the beauty of
the human soul, on this podcast,

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I sit down with beautiful humans
from all corners.

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Of the globe and all walks of
life to learn how they are

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living their own unique, Soul
Beauties out loud.

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You'll hear from game changers.
Rebels with great causes stages

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odds, feeders and Valiant
Warriors who fall down seven

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times and get up eight.
This is the podcast where

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abundant energy flows and
supreme wisdom is bestowed.

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Get ready to enjoy the
inspiration.

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Hello, beautiful humans.
I'm Jennifer Norman founder of

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the human Beauty movement.
And your host.

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It's my life's work to show you
how radical self-love and

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radical self-acceptance will
lead you to manifest your most

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fulfilling life.
So now there's nothing quite

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like the power of Storytelling
particularly on our screens and

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my guest today is committed to
diverse storytelling with an

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emphasis on increasing
representation on all sides of

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the camera.
Far-out mirani is a classically

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trained.
South Asian, Muslim actor and

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Creator base between LA and
Toronto who is performed on

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stage and on screen across North
America throughout Europe.

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And in Russia, she has appeared
in Apple, TV's sea, and nbc-tv

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Quantum, Leap as well as
Shadowhunters.

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And Nikita, Barra has lived in
six different countries on three

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continents and speaks four
languages and she's dedicated to

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sharing the stories of our
family, her community and her

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ancestors.
So welcome to Farah.

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Thank you.
Wow.

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There's nothing like hearing
your life kind of repeated back

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to you.
You're welcome.

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Now our listeners are going to
be eager to get to know you so

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why don't you tell us about your
background and your work?

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Sure.
Well, I mean you summarize the

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broad Strokes.
I grew up in a small town that

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nobody knows called North Bay is
about four hours north of

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Toronto.
And I always like to start there

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because I think growing up in a
small town where we were one of

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the few maybe a handful of
people of color in town.

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It was really impactful on me at
a very early age because I

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didn't notice it.
I didn't see it necessarily.

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Ali.
I felt it but I didn't

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necessarily see it or
acknowledge it because I was so

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young, but it was also really
idyllic and it gave me the

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opportunity to be a part of so
many different things.

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Like I was a dancer growing up
so I studying ballet tap Jazz

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every day, every day of my life,
that's what I wanted to do was

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be a dancer and I skied a lot as
well.

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So, you know, my mom would drop
me off at the ski hill and we'd

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spend the day skiing, and that
was my upbringing.

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And then we moved to Ottawa and
I did my high schooling and

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Ottawa which is where my family.
Now, but then I went to

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University in Toronto and I
really feel like moving to

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Toronto, was the moment where in
my life, where I integrated, my

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desire to be an actor with the
reality of what being an artist

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could be.
Like, I went to University and

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it was the compromise and again
that I think a really important

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moment to block.
This is the compromise between

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my parents and I that I would go
to college, I would study

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something, I would get a degree.
And as my father liked to say

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for my second degree, then we
can talk further.

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As degree, I could do whatever I
want.

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The second one, I think we
talked.

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So I studied drama and Middle
Eastern studies.

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Those were my two areas of
interest and it was great.

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I got to learn so much and be a
part of so many things.

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And when I graduated, by the
time I graduated, I had a talk

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with my dad and I knew in my
heart, and this is like, really

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the first time that I had the
courage to to declare not just

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say it but to really declare
that this is what I wanted to do

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in my life and mind you, I come
from a family of medical

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professionals.
So the idea of me pursuing a

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career In the Arts was so it's
cute.

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It's a nice hobby, but like what
are you really going to do with

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your life?
You know what I mean?

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So I had a moment and I was
being groomed to be a lawyer to

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be like, you know, the head of
some business or something.

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I was always very academically
inclined.

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I knew that there was something
compelling me towards

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storytelling and I was always a
natural Storyteller as well,

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which ironically I learned from
my father.

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So I remember sitting down with
him one day and I was like,

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okay, Dad, I know you want me to
be a lawyer but the only A way

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you're ever going to see me as a
lawyer, is the day you see me on

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Law & Order.
A lawyer.

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But I play one on TV one, right.
So I think that was the moment

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where it stopped him.
I remember his reaction, like he

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didn't know what to say.
He was like, okay, if that's

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what you want.
It's like, yeah, it is.

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Okay then and not to say that,
it was wholeheartedly embraced

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right out of the gate but it
really did become a moment of

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like a touchstone that I've
consistently come back to you

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and I've played a lot of lawyers
in my day now too.

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So like you know my cousin who
is a lawyer says I can speak

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really good legalese and
Navigate a contract really?

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Well, like that truly was the
moment where I think I was

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allowed to embrace my identity
as an artist because from there,

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I give entire credit to my
father.

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He said to me because I was in
Toronto, graduated and he was

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like if this isn't the place for
you to do what you need to do,

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you need to go and find it and
in my heart and head.

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I thought I want to be on stage
and I love Shakespeare's, so let

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me go to England.
And my brother was already

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there.
I moved to England and I went to

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drama school.
There, I had this amazing.

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Raising experience living in
London.

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And it's really where I became
the artist that I am, and it was

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from living in London that I had
the opportunity to live in

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Moscow story for another day,
like the whole other thing that

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I experienced, I went to India
and I lived there for a bit.

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I dated somebody in Paris, I was
back and forth between London

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and Paris and then I decided
going to set up shop there for a

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little bit realized that was not
the place for me and move back

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to London and then eventually
moved back to Toronto and as

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soon as I got back to Toronto, I
decided this Not the place for

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me either.
So I set my sights on Los

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Angeles and I got my green card
in order and two years later.

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This is also pre Trump pre covid
landed in LA and I've been here

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ever since that's the five years
now, so that's in a nutshell.

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I mean, so now all the while
where you were growing up and

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you know, Toronto Ottawa, the
places in Canada and even going

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to England.
Did you find representation in

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the community?
Like Like, were there others

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that were like, you can you tell
me about that?

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Exactly, there were few may be
few and far between, but there

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were a few and I know we like,
initially, like we all kind of

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found each other, or we clocked,
we would clock each other.

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Mmm.
It's like, I see you.

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I see you.
Okay, so I'm not the only one.

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Okay.
So there's a few of us here, but

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it wasn't the kind of embracing
community that I experienced.

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Now it now, it is a completely
different tone, but when I was

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starting out, I remember my mom
said this to me, it was That she

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had received from one of her
friends when they found out that

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I was pursuing a career in the
Arts and I like oh it's so good

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of you to support your daughter
in the Arts.

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It's so important that we have
artists and then you know they

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have a conversation.
Oh but my kids are not like I

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would never let my kids pursue a
career in the Arts.

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Like it's Brave of you to let
your daughter do it.

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So there was this feeling of
like I can imagine for my

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parents wrestling with.
Oh gosh.

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What is my daughter doing?
Like, why would she do this to

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herself?
She's got so much.

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Much potential.
But then on the flip side, being

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praised for supporting a dream
that a lot of people are too

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afraid to pursue.
And so as a result on my end,

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there was this kind of, I don't
want to say it was a conflict,

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but there is a, not a resistance
either, but there was a an odd

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disconnect between like, yes, I
feel supported but then also, I

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don't have people around me who
are doing what I'm doing so that

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I can see how to do it.
And the people I do.

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See, we're off.
Pitted against each other as

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opposed to feeling like we're in
this doing this together.

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So it was a very different
sentiment where I really did

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internalize this idea that I'm
out here, like a Frontiers

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person marking my own trail,
doing this on my own chopping

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down all the path before me
because I really didn't see

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anybody doing it.
And those I did see I would

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emulator.
I would try to follow in Step

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but I was always hit or
confronted by a reality that was

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very different from theirs and I
started realizing that it had

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everything to do with my
appearance not as a woman.

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But as a woman of color, hmm.
For the longest time, in fact

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like I had chopped my hair off,
I had really short hair.

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I had piercings, like I
completely went in the other

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degree where I didn't want to
associate with being Indian

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because I'm Canadian.
First, let me Beacon API, let me

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be a woman first and then I
moved to England and it didn't

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matter that.
I Was Canadian, it didn't matter

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how I sounded What mattered,
most was how I looked and I was

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confronted with the reality that
when I enter into the world,

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people see me, receive me, but
melanin in my skin, not by my

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gender expression and that was
my reality.

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So it was really in moving to
England that I had to confront a

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huge piece of my identity and
really start embracing in a

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completely different way.
And I'm very grateful for having

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been in England during that time
because the Indian population of

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South Asian population, they
call us Asians to the South

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Asian / Asian population in
England is much more robust than

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it is in Canada and the United
States and there's a greater

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embracing of Indian culture and
identity in the fabric of

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society and specifically on
screen.

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So that honestly that's where I
really started seeing authentic

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as authentic, it could be at
that time for me, representation

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on screen and on stage because
theater is Big part of the

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British culture.
I really started seeing the kind

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of work, I wanted to be a part
of could look like and then it

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really inspired in me.
This commitment.

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And it like, I tiptoed around
it, I started volunteering with

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the call.
The, I don't know if they still

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call them.
Call us this, the Emmys British

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minority ethnics.
So it's very cute.

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The union had a committee for
people of color bma's.

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And I started volunteering and
it was through that.

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That that I started also
observing how the industry was

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wrestling at least from the
British side with this idea of

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diversity without calling it.
Diversity.

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And then I moved back to Canada
and I got knee deep in with

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diversity and inclusion
practices, policies and issues

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through the Canadian.
Union through actra and was

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afforded the opportunity to be a
co-chair of the diversity

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committee and that truly was
when Artistry activism just like

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zipped up together and It became
so clear to me that my work as a

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Storyteller, my work as artists
just as a human being doing what

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I do that.
It comes with a responsibility

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to embody the principles and the
values that I stand by and

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honoring my identity.
And my Heritage is a huge part

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of that.
And I recognize that when I

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stand in front of a camera, or I
stand on stage, the audience,

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whoever the witnesses of
whatever, I'm doing the audience

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are leaving everything that I
come with, whether they're aware

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of it or not.
And that to me is really

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impactful, really exciting and
just makes me want to do it more

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because the more like going back
to something, we were talking

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about earlier the more we can
see ourselves the more we can be

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it, right?
Eleanor Roosevelt said this, if

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you can see it you can be it.
And you know, I was actually

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00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,200
thinking about it this morning
as I was in my morning

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00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:10,100
meditation and I was like even
if it's one person who's

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00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:14,600
impacted by seeing my face on
screen or my presence on stage

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00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,800
like that's One more person in
the world that won't feel like

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00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:21,800
they're completely invisible in
this medium, which is very much

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00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,100
how I grew up feeling.
I remember here's a fun little

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00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:27,200
story that I love to share.
There was a show called Romper

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00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:30,400
Room, way back in the 80s.
If you remember every kind of

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town or County had its own
version of it.

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00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:35,700
So in Canada, it was done by a
TV Ontario.

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00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:39,200
And I remember sitting in front
of the TV obsessed with this

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00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:42,600
mirror and I would sit there
waiting this house would hold up

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00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,600
a mirror and it would show
children from all over the Town

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00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,800
or like all over the country and
I would sit there waiting and I

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00:12:48,808 --> 00:12:52,100
was maybe three years old or
something and just waiting for

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00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:55,200
my face or waiting for her to
call out my name.

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00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,300
I was the biggest part waiting
for my name and I remember my

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00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:01,700
mom saying to me, once you know
Farah, you may not hear your

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00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:04,400
name that's like, but maybe if I
just stay here and wait, maybe

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00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,600
if I just keep waiting and I you
know bless my mother for

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00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,000
probably doing the best that she
could at the moment but I

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00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,900
couldn't imagine being her in
that position, watching her

247
00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:15,000
three-year-old, waiting and
waiting.

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00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,700
Waiting for something.
She knew was never going to

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00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,900
come.
And that that lasted like every

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00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,700
time I would go to a souvenir
shop, I would immediately go and

251
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:24,500
look and see Sarah.
I would see Frank never see

252
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:28,600
Farah and I mean on the key
chains or whatever they did, so

253
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:33,300
really feel the importance of
claiming our names is a value

254
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:36,500
and seeing ourselves.
Reflected back to us is so

255
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:38,700
important especially at a young
age.

256
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:39,600
Mmm!
Gosh.

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00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,000
So many lessons there.
I'm going back to the part first

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00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,700
of all where you're growing up.
Up with your family, who's, you

259
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,100
know, full of doctors, full of
medical practitioners and

260
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:51,000
whatnot.
And you knew that you were

261
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,400
different and that you wanted a
different life for yourself.

262
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,900
And so you are kind of following
that calling instinctively early

263
00:13:56,900 --> 00:14:01,700
on of what you wanted to do.
And then going into acting where

264
00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:04,100
you get to play a bunch of
different kinds of identities.

265
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:07,000
But recognizing how important it
is to kind of bring your

266
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,000
heritage with you.
Then, you know, you're coming

267
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:14,000
back and embracing that part of
your identity, whilst also being

268
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:17,200
able to kind of play on, One
other types of roles and things

269
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:20,500
like that, and taking on the
diversity of the world that

270
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:22,800
you've grown up in.
I think that's a very exciting.

271
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,700
Thank you.
Staying.

272
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:27,400
Yeah, I think that a lot of
people even at that very,

273
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,300
outset, they're intimidated.
They feel like, oh, my parents

274
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:32,500
want me to do this.
I'm going to be let down if I

275
00:14:32,508 --> 00:14:35,900
don't follow in their footsteps.
If I don't do what they're told,

276
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:38,900
they're controlling the purse
strings, and it's white Graves

277
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:41,600
at a young age to be able to
break out and do those things on

278
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,900
your own.
And so, and having that okay,

279
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:46,400
from the parents.
And that That validation that,

280
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,600
you know, we support you is
everything, you know, it's like

281
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:52,700
it's so liberating in a load off
and then yeah, you're free to

282
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:55,400
fly free to go to England and
you're free to live out your

283
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,200
jeans and explore and how
wonderful that while you were

284
00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:58,900
there.
You were like.

285
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:01,000
And right now, I really found my
calling.

286
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,900
I know you bring a legion with
me.

287
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,600
Oh, that's so nice.
Little lovely way of putting it

288
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,200
there.
So, I mean, to point I think

289
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,300
there's also something very real
about like the Immigrant parent

290
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:17,500
experience like truly my I came
to Canada as a refugee, so like

291
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,500
came with her education and her
family that was it as a

292
00:15:20,508 --> 00:15:23,100
teenager.
My dad is the eldest of his

293
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:26,100
family and like, literally
brought his entire family to

294
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:28,000
Canada.
So like there's a lot of

295
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,800
responsibility and I can imagine
the burden that they bore

296
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,900
creating a life.
And like, in a small town, in

297
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:37,900
the middle of nowhere in
Northern Ontario, where they

298
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:41,200
were the only people of color.
Like, my mother has shared with

299
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:45,000
me some of the horrific stories
that she experienced.

300
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:48,600
From the other Dance Moms that
she protected me from, I was

301
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:53,200
completely oblivious to she like
a barracuda protected me

302
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:57,600
vehemently so that I wouldn't
feel the racism the Prejudice

303
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:01,100
and the there was some of the
vitriol that was being spewed

304
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,800
around you really feel that
there was any of that present

305
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,900
because your mom pretty much put
it for you.

306
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,100
I mean, I think I had like,
there was like this one group of

307
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:14,900
girls that were all blond and
they always had trios together.

308
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:18,700
I always did Duets together and
I was always like, how come I

309
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:21,200
don't get paired with them.
Like, I remember having those

310
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:25,600
sentiments, but I genuinely
don't remember ever feeling like

311
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:29,600
because I'm a different skin
color that I'm or a different

312
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:33,400
ethnicity that I am lesser than
I was a really, really good

313
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,600
ballet.
Dancer and my ballet teacher

314
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,900
again, kudos to her mrs.
To 11 rest in peace.

315
00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:43,300
She single-handedly like
nurtured my skill because she

316
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:46,500
saw that I was really good at
What I was trying to do.

317
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,100
So she had gave me
opportunities.

318
00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:51,700
And that was part of some of the
conflict that I later Learned

319
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:53,500
was percolating in the
background.

320
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:57,800
But, yeah, my mom, she'd like a
warrior protected me from so

321
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,600
much.
I mean, there's a story that

322
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,600
breaks my heart when I think
about it, we used to go for

323
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:05,099
competitions and he's big, you
know, coach buses, and we would

324
00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:07,099
travel.
And so we left North Bay and we

325
00:17:07,099 --> 00:17:09,900
were traveling to stay, it's
probably like Buffalo Rochester

326
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:11,500
or something.
We had to cross the border.

327
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:14,800
And as we cross the border
border security guard, guy gets

328
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,300
up on Bus and he's like, is
everybody here at Canadian

329
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:19,000
citizen?
Everybody here was born in

330
00:17:19,008 --> 00:17:21,400
Canada.
Everybody says yes and then one

331
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:25,000
of the moms pipes up and she
goes well, Nina you weren't born

332
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,600
in Canada, were you?
And so the Border guard goes,

333
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:32,100
oh, come with me and takes my
mom off the bus.

334
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:35,000
Like, it was like watching her
walk of Gangplank walking off

335
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,300
the bus, going off, having the
Border guard.

336
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:40,900
Check her passport.
Yes, she's a Canadian citizen

337
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:45,000
gets back up on the bus and she
sits down and I mean she tells

338
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:48,600
As me this, but she sat there
and she cried because she was so

339
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:52,000
humiliated.
And Meanwhile my dancer friends

340
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,900
were like, what your mom wasn't
born in Canada.

341
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:56,900
Where was she, born?
I was also born in Uganda, like,

342
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:59,000
that's no big deal.
She's like Canadian,

343
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,400
citizenship, as a Canadian
passport, right?

344
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,700
So, like I didn't click it.
Never clicked for me that what

345
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:10,000
she was experiencing was the
weight of protecting me from

346
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,100
carrying any of that.
Until I'm not got much older as

347
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,800
I started realizing.
And this is why Bring it back to

348
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,800
my career, I had this Reckoning
a little while ago, that's so

349
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:23,300
much of why I do what I do is to
carry forward, the stories of my

350
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:26,800
family and my ancestors.
Because if I don't do it, what

351
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,500
happens to them.
If I don't share those stories,

352
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:31,900
they're gone.
I would love to know what your

353
00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:35,500
impressions growing up, were of
your own Beauty.

354
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,700
Like, did you ever feel
beautiful?

355
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:42,700
Did you ever compare yourself?
How did you evolve into your own

356
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:45,300
kind of beauty?
Well, Jennifer you are A real

357
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:46,800
deep.
This is actually something that

358
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,200
I wrestled with for a very long
time.

359
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,700
Really, I never grew up the
pretty girl or the cute one.

360
00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:55,700
I had beautiful hair.
I still have lovely hair and I

361
00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:57,600
appreciate that.
I'm so grateful for that.

362
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,900
So people were always like
wanting to play with my hair and

363
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:03,500
stuff but I was the athletic
girl, I was the smart girl that

364
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:07,100
was never the pretty cute one.
Even looking at my baby pictures

365
00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:10,200
I would joke that I was not
cutest babies like my brother

366
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:14,800
was a gerber baby and I was the
first born so by default.

367
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:17,900
I was beautiful in my parents
eyes, but really for the longest

368
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:21,900
time I was told I look like my
dad and I internalized that I

369
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:25,700
looked like a boy.
So for so much of my youth up

370
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:31,400
until about 17, I had a shift at
17 but those you know first

371
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:36,100
years of my life I genuinely
thought I was not pretty because

372
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:40,200
I looked like a boy.
I look like my dad and I now I

373
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,800
know that's not what that meant
but at the time I couldn't parse

374
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,600
out check the Tension.
And then it, like I said, a

375
00:19:46,608 --> 00:19:50,700
shift happened at 17, where I
permed my hair because I wanted

376
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:53,000
curly hair little.
Did I know that my hair is

377
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,000
actually naturally wavy.
Anyway, I permed my hair.

378
00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:00,200
And in that summer, I started
getting attention from boys in a

379
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,300
way.
I had never in my life, like I

380
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:06,700
also developed early.
So, like my body, looks like a

381
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:09,400
woman, but I didn't feel like a
woman.

382
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:13,200
I didn't feel girly at all
feminine and any capacity, no

383
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,900
matter what I tried to do was I
Feel it on the inside and then

384
00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:21,000
it was like curling my hair
Unleashed this connection to my

385
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,500
femininity in a way that I'd
never experienced and I started

386
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:28,200
drawing that attention and it
was really disconcerting.

387
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:31,600
I had no idea what to do with
that attention, and it made me

388
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:35,200
really uncomfortable.
And then by the time I went away

389
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:39,000
for University, I chopped my
hair off because like this

390
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,800
attention, I don't like this
attention, but then I started

391
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,800
getting a different kind of
attention.

392
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,700
I've got strike.
King features like I've big eyes

393
00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:50,000
and I have high cheekbones and I
recognize that about myself.

394
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:55,300
So my hair short, it was like
suddenly my face became Center,

395
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,800
you know what I mean?
And people started looking at my

396
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,800
face in a different way and less
my body.

397
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,900
So it was this very interesting
journey of completely

398
00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:06,600
disconnecting from my appearance
not believing that my appearance

399
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,800
had anything to do with who I
was because I was a smart girl

400
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,900
and I was the athletic girl.
And then starting to realize

401
00:21:12,900 --> 00:21:16,600
that my appearance a try,
Certain kinds of people.

402
00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:19,000
Hmm.
Negotiating with those new

403
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:23,000
feelings, doing a 180 just
almost like an experiment to

404
00:21:23,008 --> 00:21:24,900
see.
I remember even asking male

405
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:27,900
friend of mine because I had
chopped my hair off and it was

406
00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:30,700
super short, like, it was the
days of Halle, Berry's short

407
00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:33,400
hair.
So I would cut it like that and

408
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,100
I was like, paranoid as I did, I
make a mistake or people going

409
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:39,800
to think I look manly now, and
he laughed in my face, and he

410
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,900
was like, Farah the way you
look.

411
00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:44,300
Nobody will ever confuse you for
a guy.

412
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,900
Oh okay and then going to
England, it was up like this

413
00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:53,300
whole identity dovetailing of
like my ethnic identity, my

414
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:55,800
gender identity kind of
converging.

415
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,700
And it was really again in
England that I started coming

416
00:21:58,700 --> 00:22:03,000
into my femininity in a new way.
My cultural identity in a new

417
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,300
way.
And embracing all of them in the

418
00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:10,800
ways that actually made me feel
more authentically me and then a

419
00:22:10,808 --> 00:22:14,700
friend of mine made this very
insightful comment and she said

420
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:17,600
to me, Because you know,
insecurities pop up all the time

421
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,700
and she said, fi you would not
be in this business as well

422
00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:23,200
received as you are, if you were
not attracted.

423
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,800
So if you ever feel like you're
not beautiful enough or you're

424
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:30,100
not pretty enough or any of
those things, just know that

425
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:33,300
you're still in this business,
which means that at least

426
00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:36,300
somebody somewhere, find you
attractive on camera.

427
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:39,200
And I was like, oh, that's an
interesting way of putting it,

428
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:43,400
not that I put all my value on
that, but objectively speaking,

429
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,800
I can appreciate that.
That makes sense.

430
00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:50,100
For sure, for sure, I'd love to
hear what you think about the

431
00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:54,800
way that South Asians or perhaps
Muslims are portrayed in the

432
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:58,800
media, because I think that you
provide almost a modern take to

433
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,500
me.
Like, if I were to look at you

434
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:04,900
and just in speaking, without
you being in character, you are

435
00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:07,000
a.
Yeah, I mean, you're very much

436
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:11,900
like, you know, this is what the
new generation of South Asian

437
00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:13,900
Muslim.
You know, individuals and

438
00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:16,800
Muslims are like, You know, we
are all just, you know,

439
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,700
ourselves.
We are unto ourselves and we

440
00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:21,100
have our own personalities and
we're beautiful.

441
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:25,300
But what do you think that the
current situation is in terms of

442
00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:29,000
representation?
It's so much broader than what

443
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,400
it was.
Even five years ago, there are a

444
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:36,500
few shows that I look to as kind
of guide posts of what I'm

445
00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:39,300
excited by in the world.
Like there's a show called lady

446
00:23:39,300 --> 00:23:42,400
parts that came out of the UK
and it's about a girl band and

447
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:44,800
it shows Muslim women from
across.

448
00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:48,200
The diasporic, that's the thing.
A lot of people forget that, the

449
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:53,000
identity of a Muslim is as broad
as the identity of a human is,

450
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:57,000
there are Muslims living in
every corner of the world?

451
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,600
There are different ways of
practicing our faith, depending

452
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,700
on where people are from and
culture and religion converge in

453
00:24:03,700 --> 00:24:05,600
different ways.
So like the way that I practice

454
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,100
my faith is going to be very
different than somebody from

455
00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:11,100
Saudi Arabia, very different
from 70 from North Africa.

456
00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:13,800
Or from North America.
She's me for that matter like

457
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,400
it's diverse.
I think it's very exciting to

458
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:21,000
see stories on TV now, showing
different perspectives and

459
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,400
different experiences of what
it's like to be Muslim.

460
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,500
Like there's Rami and Moe again,
those are male driven.

461
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,400
So, like that's another part of
it, it's a male-driven story.

462
00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:33,000
There are so many more people
making content now which is

463
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,200
really exciting.
And so this is again where

464
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:39,600
there's double sided coin here.
So the Muslim identity is 1 and

465
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,500
then the South Asian identity is
another and there are points

466
00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:45,300
where they converge.
So Miss Marvel for Paul is a

467
00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:50,800
perfect example of evasion and
Muslim converging in a story

468
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:55,300
that is very personal to me like
the story of partition deeply,

469
00:24:55,300 --> 00:24:59,900
impacted the migration patterns
of my ancestors and it's part of

470
00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:02,700
my inherited.
I mean, trauma is one way of

471
00:25:02,700 --> 00:25:05,600
putting of it.
My inherited Legacy comes out of

472
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,100
that experience, but I'm not
Pakistani.

473
00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:12,000
I've never identified as
Pakistani actually fun little

474
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,100
story to, I've been to Pakistan
and I've been to India and To

475
00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:19,800
Pakistan first and I had this
impression and I would go there

476
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,900
and I would feel a kind of
homecoming.

477
00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:25,300
These are essentially my people.
If my family hadn't left, my

478
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:28,300
ancestors, hadn't left, India to
go to East Africa, they would

479
00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:30,700
have ended up in Pakistan.
So basically, these are my

480
00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:33,300
people.
Well, I landed in Karachi, I was

481
00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:39,200
there for six weeks and I have
never felt so alien, amongst

482
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,700
people who looked like me, it
was the strangest disconnect.

483
00:25:42,700 --> 00:25:44,700
Like, was not anticipating.
I don't.

484
00:25:44,900 --> 00:25:47,300
Speak or do?
That's not my mother tongue.

485
00:25:47,300 --> 00:25:50,900
I'm not Sunni, which is one sect
of Islam, and Pakistan is

486
00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:53,800
largely Sunni.
So, there's a more traditional

487
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,300
expression of the faith.
The cultural references were not

488
00:25:57,300 --> 00:26:00,100
what I grew up with.
And so that, even though I

489
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:05,800
looked somewhat similar to so
many people around me, I felt so

490
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,700
alien.
It was the strangest experience,

491
00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:12,400
and then I went to India years
later and again, I was in India

492
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,800
for months.
I remember Landing there and

493
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,100
Something in me just felt like
home.

494
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,800
I'm not Hindu, I don't speak
Hindi.

495
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,800
I speak Gujarati which is a
dialect but there was this like

496
00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:27,800
invisible knowing that I just
got struck by because culturally

497
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:32,400
speaking, the way that I grew up
our practices are way more our

498
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,800
inline or similar to those Hindu
practices than they were with

499
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,700
some of the Pakistani practices.
It was this like Moon Head,

500
00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:44,700
twist, Shake of Reckoning.
Where I was like, oh my

501
00:26:44,900 --> 00:26:48,500
Ancestors are from this place,
not that place.

502
00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:51,300
You know when we talk about
where do we belong in the world?

503
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:56,300
I haven't had that experience.
I so deeply believe that we have

504
00:26:56,300 --> 00:27:01,600
a connection to land in a way
that goes beyond logic and I

505
00:27:01,608 --> 00:27:04,200
think that's why I like
indigenous peoples are so

506
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,800
protective and so deeply
connected to the land that they

507
00:27:07,900 --> 00:27:11,700
have lived on for Millennia.
And those of us who are

508
00:27:11,700 --> 00:27:15,500
immigrants on that land on this
land, we don't Of the same

509
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:19,700
relationship, but it took me
going to a place where I have

510
00:27:19,700 --> 00:27:24,200
ancestral roots for me to go.
Oh, I'm feeling something here

511
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:28,400
by virtue of being on this land
that I had never experienced

512
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,600
elsewhere.
That was really interesting to

513
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,600
me in terms of Storytelling.
Those are the kind of stories

514
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,100
that I am interested in, as well
at like, looking back at where

515
00:27:37,100 --> 00:27:41,600
we come from and how we came to
be where we are, as well as the

516
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:45,300
other side of the Spectrum,
which is telling stories as As

517
00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:49,700
we are like my girlfriend and I
are writing a film about three

518
00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:52,900
South Asian, women who are of
three different faiths three

519
00:27:52,900 --> 00:27:56,900
different kinds of South Asians
who are not related because the

520
00:27:56,900 --> 00:27:58,400
only way, this is the running
joke.

521
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,800
The only way we're on screen
together is if we're all in a

522
00:28:00,808 --> 00:28:03,200
family, if we're related to each
other, right?

523
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,900
Like we can't just be friends on
screen together because it's too

524
00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:09,900
confusing.
I don't know that to me is way

525
00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:14,700
more exciting than like the kind
of token assist perspective.

526
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:18,100
Casting where it's like, oh
you've got just one person that

527
00:28:18,100 --> 00:28:19,600
looks like this.
And one person looks like this

528
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,300
in one who person.
Looks like this great, you've

529
00:28:21,300 --> 00:28:23,800
got a rainbow but then what.
Yeah.

530
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:27,000
And what I'm saying about the
assets rather than monolithic

531
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,700
nature of what?
A lot of people seem to do with

532
00:28:29,700 --> 00:28:32,500
stereotyping.
Exactly Bingo.

533
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,500
Yeah, it's fascinating when
you're talking about having a

534
00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:39,000
connection to the land and I
often wonder about we're having

535
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,500
a pandemic of not only Health
but alone is like a lot of

536
00:28:42,500 --> 00:28:46,400
people are just feeling isolated
and To themselves and depressed

537
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,400
and alone.
And I'm like, well what is it

538
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,900
that's causing people in a city
to feel like they're alone?

539
00:28:51,900 --> 00:28:54,500
What is it?
That causes that's not feel that

540
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:57,700
their belonging is it that
environment is at the energy of

541
00:28:57,700 --> 00:29:01,000
the people is that the energy of
the land of the buildings of the

542
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,300
culture and then you go to other
places and you're like I belong

543
00:29:04,300 --> 00:29:08,300
here, I just feel like it is a
fascinating phenomenon.

544
00:29:08,300 --> 00:29:11,500
Yeah it really is.
I wonder if a part of it is

545
00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:14,700
connected to this idea that we
live.

546
00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:19,000
In isolation of each other like
we live independently of each

547
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,000
other.
I was talking to my girlfriend

548
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,200
the other day and she's so she
was telling me about her early

549
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:27,900
days of postpartum and how
isolating that felt because she

550
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:32,000
had no family around her.
And she was like, it made me

551
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:36,600
realize why we live historically
speaking in multi-generational

552
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:40,600
homes when an event happens.
Birth death marriage, it's

553
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,600
people around you.
They're exactly right.

554
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:47,200
It's like literally we of
inboxes separated from each

555
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,900
other.
The intergenerational element is

556
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,800
long gone, right?
We've in this Society,

557
00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:57,000
sequestered the elderly into
another realm and you know, out

558
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,500
of sight out of mind.
And then we're left with what

559
00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:02,500
would just ourselves.
I genuinely think that, that

560
00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:06,800
kind of collective
individualization of existence

561
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:10,300
is in large part.
Why we feel so much more

562
00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:14,200
loneliness because we don't have
regular connection to our

563
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,400
people.
Our family are literally are

564
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,700
people most proximity.
I mean I'm guilty of this to my

565
00:30:19,700 --> 00:30:23,800
family lives, 4,000 miles away
and it weighs on me all the

566
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,200
time.
My husband and I talk about

567
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,200
this, like, how long do we stay
here for before we go back to

568
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,200
Canada?
Or do we go back to Canada?

569
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:34,300
We bring my family here which is
that I would love to California

570
00:30:34,300 --> 00:30:38,800
because the weather's better but
truly like you know the idea of

571
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:42,700
having a family and not having
my parents nearby is really not

572
00:30:42,700 --> 00:30:46,500
something that I would want.
To bring a child into, like,

573
00:30:46,500 --> 00:30:50,500
it's really important to me.
That my family is nearby, not

574
00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:54,500
just emotionally, but physically
like it makes a huge difference.

575
00:30:54,500 --> 00:30:57,500
Hmm, huge difference.
So as an actor, as a

576
00:30:57,508 --> 00:31:00,400
Storyteller, what would you want
your legacy to be?

577
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:04,700
That's a loaded question because
I immediately have like multiple

578
00:31:04,700 --> 00:31:07,400
versions of an answer.
Maybe I'll try and touch on each

579
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,300
of them in terms of one part of
that Legacy.

580
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:14,100
A really really important.
Part is the continuation, the

581
00:31:14,100 --> 00:31:17,300
carrying Forward of my ancestors
stories.

582
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,900
Like I said, I had a reckoning
about a year ago as to why that

583
00:31:20,900 --> 00:31:23,600
was so important.
I am the carrier of those

584
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,700
stories and if I don't tell
them, even if it's like my

585
00:31:26,700 --> 00:31:30,500
children or my family members,
like it's really important that

586
00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:34,100
that carries forward.
And then more personally I feel

587
00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:36,900
very strongly that we're all
meant to do something on this

588
00:31:36,900 --> 00:31:39,000
planet.
I really believe that there's a

589
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:42,100
purpose for everyone and
anything goes in that it could

590
00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:44,600
be the you know the purpose to
be a Healer.

591
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:46,400
Could be the purpose to be an
educator.

592
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,300
I could be anything.
And I really believe that part

593
00:31:49,300 --> 00:31:53,200
of my purpose in life is
bringing people together.

594
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:57,100
I'm a connector extraordinaire
and if I can do that through my

595
00:31:57,100 --> 00:32:01,500
Artistry by being in the live
theater is so exciting because

596
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:05,000
it literally bringing people
together sharing an experience

597
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:09,600
that is I feel strongly that
part of my legacy be that

598
00:32:09,700 --> 00:32:12,600
bringing people together and
sharing in an event in

599
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,500
something.
In a learning in an Sin and

600
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:17,600
being affected by whatever in a
positive way.

601
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,600
Hopefully, great welfare.
Amar Ronnie.

602
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,400
Thank you so much for being on
the show today.

603
00:32:23,500 --> 00:32:25,800
Thank you so much Jennifer.
This is such a delight.

604
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:29,100
It was so great to meet you and
have a really thoughtful chat.

605
00:32:29,100 --> 00:32:31,100
Appreciate it.
He can't thank you.

606
00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:35,000
Thank you for listening to the
human Beauty movement podcast.

607
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:39,100
Be sure to follow rate and
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608
00:32:39,100 --> 00:32:41,300
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609
00:32:41,300 --> 00:32:44,700
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610
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:48,000
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611
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,800
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612
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,200
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613
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:58,500
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