Episode 11: Jennifer Cassetta, Self Defense Expert - The Art of Badassery

0:06 Hello, beautiful humans. Welcome to today's episode of Role Models juicy conversations with beautiful humans. I'm so excited to introduce you to my guests. This is Jen cos Theta. Jen is a success coach, a speaker and author and a self defense expert equipped with her third degree black belt in hapkido. A as degree in nutrition Health coaching and NLP certifications Jen travels. The world empowering people to stay strong safe and more confident from the streets to the boardroom. Now, Jen believes that, no matter your height, your weight, your gender race or background, everyone should have, the ability to feel strong faith and Powerful. Yes.

0:53 And now Jen's latest book is available for pre-order. It's called The Art of badassery. Our mojo with the wisdom of the dojo. Welcome to Jen. Thank you so much for having me Jenn. I'm so excited to be here. And hello, everybody out there. Oh, it's so great to have you. Now, I'd like to set the stage for those who are listening to this podcast, because as we all know, looks can be very deceiving. So, no one looking at Jen would ever know just by walking down the street running by her that she could easily kick your ass. So Jen, I'm sure that there's a great story. Story. And how you got started in martial arts. Tell us all about it. Sure.

1:35 So it was 22 years ago that I stepped into a do Jang in Korean for the first time and pretty much fell in love. It was weird. I was early 20s and really just looking for a different kind of workout. My father had been doing martial arts so I was familiar with it. Found a great school, great people. And I started to feel all these amazing benefits like throwing punches for the first time and kicks and knees. To feel more powerful in your body, also my mind and more spiritually grounded, like it was all these amazing benefits in that first year. Something crazy happened to the world, and I had kind of one of those life, shifting experiences. Essentially on September 11th.

2:16 I was a year and two training in martial arts and showed up to work. That morning, three blocks, south of the World Trade Center and as you can imagine it was chaotic and I went into the lobby of my building. And that's when the first Tower fell, I was Scared. I was paralyzed with fear and completely traumatized, but this woman grabbed me and her and I bonded and said we're going to get out of here today. That day, we went four hours running around covered in soot and finally made it to the do Jang. So that was the first time that day that I felt this safety. This Refuge this calming down your nervous system and looking back. I can say that that was this pivotal moment for me because the next few months I was out of a job and all I wanted to do was go train. George Jung.

3:00 So that's how it kind of really started, amazing. It's really such a metaphor of your circle of life of coming home to it and really finding refuge in it. I remember one going through that must have been so traumatic and that's still resides in you, I'm sure just those moments, every single year within anniversary. And, you know, here you have this wonderful thing that is a gift to you, which is this feeling of protection, this feeling of support. Tell us more about About when you do say that there are tools that you learn in your do Jong that you can take out into the streets and even into the boardroom. Yes. Absolutely. I realize it more and more. The older. I get that the benefits of the training have less to do with the kicks, in the punches, and the techniques, like, all that stuff is great, but it's completely secondary to the mental strength that inner strength that I develop the leadership skills, the communication skills, all the self-empowerment tools that I now get to teach And laid out in the book that I wrote.

4:01 So essentially the book walks, you through it, all from white belt, to Black Belt. I use it as a metaphor, right? Use martial arts as a meta form in the beginning. It's all about getting onto the mat for the first time. So going to the dojo Dojo of your life is where you do your work, where you interact with people, your home your office wherever and you're going to be met with opponents and sometimes those opponents can be people and sometimes they can be heartbreak grief loss pain disease write you name it for Lot of people that big opponent was like the last two years of a being in a pandemic for the first time and just all the uncertainty that came with it. So that's kind of the white belt lesson. And then yellow belt is all about how to get back up with, he's with Grace with velocity and all the different strategies that I learned on the map from pivoting to Rolling, to making ultimate comebacks, when life, just knocks you out for the count.

4:51 That is incredible. So, how do you know when you become a black belt? Yeah, yeah. Good question. Well in the black belt in badassery, You may be that already, right? There's so many people that have done a lot of personal development work, but specifically in the black belt journey is all about leadership and defining your own style of leadership. My hope is that black belts who claim to be leaders. Practice a few different things that I learned in martial arts. As a martial artist and black belt level. It's all about giving back, it's about leading teaching mentoring passing. Those skills on for the good of others, it's less about About the type of leadership we so often see that's like clamoring your way to the top and stepping on others and just racing to get there. It takes time and patience and discipline to really step into that.

5:42 Black belt role. And some of the other lessons are that black belt level is really just the beginning, right? It's about mastering the basic skills. So if you think about your own self development Journey, a lot of people have done that already. So black belt is like now, beginning a whole new level almost. Yeah. I love that and I also think it's such a metaphor for life in so many ways, but if I think about people who say, oh I want to be a black belt and that's a wonderful goal or if they're in a certain place in their lives and they're constantly criticizing themselves along the way and getting to this place where it becomes that all they can think about is the next Bell, the next built within it. I think that there is something to be said in the learning and in the lessons that happen along the way and an appreciating where you are and not pining and saying, well, that person's So far ahead that person so much better of it.

6:31 It's like, this is where you are, this is where your dojo is that persons in a different Dojo, right? Yeah. And that's my biggest work right now. I think you just nailed it on the head tonight is like always remembering that people start out at different places. We all need to stop the comparison to other people. I think I'm past the point of my life where I do it about beauty standards. I don't really feel like, I feel very grounded in that area, but when it comes to Here and being an entrepreneur. And looking at other successful, entrepreneurs. I know I definitely can get in that cycle. So that's actually a chapter around Green Belt, which is about finding your voice and really learning to master the voice in your head. I think that that's great that you've even addressed that. And there seems like there's so many practical lessons that anybody regardless, of whether it is, somebody interested in martial arts or not, there's any really valuable lessons that you're bringing their.

7:25 Now I want to go back. I used to like the Karate Kid when I was young. Of course, I probably seen it. A million times? Yes, I'm not even one of Cobra, Kai. I haven't watched season to yet, but I want my God. How could you stop? I'm a your Swedish. Good TV on I know. And I'm like I'll get back into it but I think his name was Eli Hawk. Was it Hawk Moskowitz? And he's the one that's like the wimpy kid that's picked on and then all of a sudden he finds that he can turn into a badass with the help of some training and the dojo. But unfortunately, instead of just being a badass, he just turns into an asshole. We have I can I think you, maybe he does a little bit of a come around towards the end of the season, but how do we prevent ourselves from becoming assholes from just going so far? What?

8:09 Yeah, no Province question. I think it's all ego, right. And it's like the work part of the work is to recognize that we all have it. No have our ego and checking it, right? Yeah. And I think that all of the work, all of the chapters in the book, all of the lessons in the book, it's all ongoing work, nobody truly ever Masters, Are inner voice and it never is - again no one can ever completely drop your ego and check it out the door at every situation, you enter. So I think it's really just about the awareness of it and then being able to use it with discernment like hey I really want to go into this next interaction with my ego tamed or I don't want to say not there at all.

8:51 Because as that possible for folks, believe there, and it's there for a reason. I mean that you go is a manifestation and so we just recognize And we are in balance with ourselves as it were right? Where those shifts are there. Those subs and flows are. Wow, I think that there's also people like me who would be like, you know, I'm a lover, I'm not a fighter. How do you think that martial arts or knowing some of the practices? How does that help bring peace. Yeah I was just going to say that was going to say really martial arts is about peace. When you come down to it I think in the last, I don't know, tennis years or so. A lot of what we see in martial arts is not Marshall. Art's UFC fighting is not martial arts. Thank you.

9:33 Thank you. I don't watch it. I don't follow it at all. It's not what I was taught. It is Sport so there's a very clear distinction between martial, Sport and martial arts. The Arts are passed down for centuries. If you go back into history, it was there to prepare for war and all of that stuff. But also to develop the individual into more of a pathetic leader, like Daniel Son and not like, Record high. Very good, very good. Bring it back, but yeah. And then one more thing to answer your question, about peace, right? Safety and peace go hand-in-hand. And if you don't feel safe in your body, in your mind, in your home, in your spirit, in your neighborhood, how can you ever feel true, peace.

10:21 So taking a proactive approach to learning how to protect yourself, both mentally and physically. I think just go hand-in-hand with bringing more piece into your life because you can feel more safe. Hmm, kind of like what Roosevelt said about speaking softly, but carrying a big stick, I supposed. Yeah, can if you need it, the others doing the diplomacy at first and working that way. And then just having that thought behind you, yeah, yeah, yeah. Famous quote, by an ancient Samurai that says the ultimate aim of martial arts is not having to use them. So, it's not about Going into fight or just the self-defense.

11:02 It's a way, it's a movement. It's a way of practicing your life. And I have to say, though watching it as a spectator, is beautiful. It's awesome. I mean, I think that that's why it's so magical when you see it on screen to where there's just so much choreography in the forms and the, it's just, it's just lovely, what people can do with their bodies, but yeah, yeah. It's different forms but it can be a lot like dance. Hmm, it can. Okay, okay. So then, let's talk about some of your tips for safety or some other things that you like to share with others, that might be good for them. So just know in the back of their head. Yeah, I make fun Instagram, reels with your one, move a day to keep the creeps away. Always check them out there.

11:46 But essentially all safety and self defense starts with awareness. It's the one thing that can help you avoid danger at all costs, not all the time. Sometimes you're in the wrong place at the wrong time or there's some Somewhere that's going to do what they set out to do, no matter what. But having that awareness when you're out and about can definitely help increase your chances of survival feeling safe, knowing what to do, figure out the next right, step, whatever that is, right? Because when we're quiet, when we're listening, when we're taking in information, it allows that channel between our intuition, wherever that resides and your brain to really connect and communicate otherwise. If you're too busy and your phone or paying attention to something else, you can't hear.

12:29 You're the intuitive messages. That is signaling you to safety. Mmm, that's good. I saw when tip on your Instagram recently it was like you were holding their ears or fishing in their ears with your hands. Yeah yeah. That's looks like straightly painful but easy for anybody to do easy for anyone and that's why I like doing the one move a day to show people. Oh, did you even realize that the peels of your palm can be a really strong weapon if you know how to use them, right? You can strike to somebody. Those, you can Buck somebody in the ears. I can imagine at some point, I didn't know self-defense and those are things that I would never even thought of right, knowing where to strike. How to strike when to strike all of these different things. So, I think most people are not going to go to a dojo and become a black belt, or even go take a self-defense class in person, but if you can have one, two, three little Tools in your tool belt.

13:23 Again, it just helps you walk a little taller. Helps you be a little more aware and hopefully, If you got forbid ever need it, you have those tools to protect yourself. Mmm, that's great. Now, let's talk about some of the other wonderful certifications that you have and things that you offer to people. Because I saw there that you are an NLP coach and I have never heard of that before. Describe that oh gosh. It is like the most difficult thing to describe. Maybe do an LP stands for neuro linguistic programming. The first time I heard of it and really was intrigued by It was when I was going in person to Tony Robbins events, in my early 20s, in the way he would snap his fingers or use his body or uses tone.

14:08 He almost had people in the audience, including me mesmerised at times and I always wondered what was it about him? What was he doing? Well, how did he learn this? So it turns out he uses a lot of neuro-linguistic. Programming neuro, brain, linguistic language. So it's like how our brains and communication coincide, the word programming, Is it kind of a funky connotation? Because it's not necessarily like programming people. But in coaching, it could be really helpful. So, in coaching, how I use it, I'm very basic, it's just about listening to people, the words, they use, where their eyes move their nonverbal communication, and then digging deeper and asking the right questions to help people, you know, kind of uncover, what are their limiting, beliefs?

14:54 What else is going on? Because as a health coach for so long, people usually come to me with. I want to lose Eight and blah, blah blah. And as you know, it's never about the food. It's never about the workouts necessarily, it's about what's going on here and the blocks and the limitations that way. So that's how I use NLP. I think that that is so brilliant that you even mentioned that in terms of it's not about the food because so many books. So many podcasts so much information. It's about the damn food and they're not getting to the root cause of the problem. Like I think that the healthiest that I had been was Ali, the day that I decided that I didn't need a scale anymore because every single day where I was getting on there and beating myself up about what I weighed, which is just a ridiculous thing.

15:38 Nobody cares what you weigh. It's the amount of energy that is put towards things that don't matter, right. And that it could be used Elsewhere for good and think we tell ourselves that were unworthy or that were ugly or that we're weak or in the case of leaders. And at that, we're an imposter, like all of these things stem from mindset. And if you can get to where that comes from, and Dissipate that. Yeah and I love that you're doing it through that attentive listening and watching and absorbing the energy. It's almost like tapping into the intuition of being able to really understand more than the words that are being said. Because we all know that words are a dime a dozen but it's like that. All of these things going together.

16:19 Really paint. A bigger. Fuller picture for you on how to help them help themselves. 100%? Absolutely. Oh, gosh. I wish I could sum it up as well as you. Just did you just did because I just miss you, too. That from you, that is wonderful. So your book comes out on August 23rd. Is that right? That is correct. Exactly. Yeah. Well, let's talk about what you do offer because you are a health coach and so how do you use your normal clientele? Like if there is such a thing but do people come to you and say gosh you know Jen I could really use your help with this. Well it's funny because usually the reason why people come to me initially is not the reason The thing that we actually wind up making improvements on, for example, a client came to me about a year ago, wanting to lose weight, wanting to lose weight. It was all about the weight food, the workouts, this that, and it got to a point where I was just doing my best to listen and listen to her lifestyle and all of it. And I kept reminding her that she's in a job. That is super stressful and she's literally like killing herself with her job.

17:23 I got a text just yesterday that she quit her job. So like that could come out of coaching when When it wasn't the initial thing that you wanted to do. But you realize that it was the one thing that was really holding you back from your life goals. Absolutely. And that's really the part of exploring. It's like you never want to just treat that thing, that's on the surface, right? Is so much more to it. And then once you get there, then it's amazing how your life can really change, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I've always as excited or surprised at my clients successes because again, sometimes the things that wind up happening. From the coaching really had nothing to do with what we set out to do. So it's really fun.

18:05 That's the magic. Well, Jen. It was a pleasure to speak with you today. I am so excited that everybody is now going to learn all about you and how they can also be a badass matter where they are in their place in life. Thank you so much. Thank you Jen.