Episode 13: Nitika Chopra - Beauty Beyond Chronic Illness

0:06 Hello, beautiful humans. Welcome to another episode of Role Models GC conversations with beautiful humans. I'm Jennifer Norman founder of the human Beauty movement and your host, today's guest is the one and only netiquette Chopra seriously folks. Nitta is my kind of gal, after living, with severely, debilitating, psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis, Titus for over 30 years in Attica, Found the courage to open up about her health. She realized that life changing power of support and Community helped her on her own self-love journey and now she's doing the same for thousands of others. You know, if you've ever felt like you didn't belong because of the health challenges, you face Medica gets it. She's the founder of chronic on and inclusive conference focused on uplifting people who are living with chronic. And she's also expanded the concept to live online through the chronicon community.

1:05 It features inspiration, advocacy. And empowerment for chronically ill folks across the globe to connect. Welcome dedica. Thanks so much for having me. I was so excited to be here. Oh, I'm so glad to have you now. I'd like to go back to the early days because you were first diagnosed with psoriasis at the age of 10, right? Yes. I was tell us about what it was like to all of a sudden. See this as a Child. Yeah, I mean it really caught me off guard and I can still sort of feel that when I think about it and I go back to that point in time I was like, most ten-year-old kids. I was sort of oblivious to these bigger issues that a lot of people face because I was a, you know, relatively healthy kid. And I wasn't really thinking about my body in this particular way.

1:50 And I ended up getting a spot on my left arm and my family thought, you know, maybe it's eczema or something and my parents have had a little eggs and It went away pretty quickly with the cream, and so they weren't really worried about it. And over time, I finally got to see the doctor and they did like a biopsy and almost stuff and we found out that it was psoriasis. And I remember feeling the worried that my family had because they were sort of told, this could be a more serious thing. And I feel like I kind of close my eyes and then open them again and it's like a year later, and I'm completely covered. So, it started with one spot but I ended up having Hang it, from the tip of my foot to the tip of my head for about 17 years of my life.

2:34 Wow. Yeah. For those who aren't familiar with psoriasis, could you describe it and what you were feeling? Yeah, absolutely. So psoriasis is an autoimmune disease but it's one that impacts your skin and so a lot of people who get it, they get it like maybe in their scalp or on their joints like on their elbows or their knees or something like that. But I ended up as I said, getting it all over and it's basically like it. It's just like Chicken pox. It's like very, very, very itchy and there's a few different types of psoriasis that the kind that I have is these red scaly patches and so it's like rough dry skin. And essentially, your skin is like regenerating way too fast and it's creating new cellular skin on top of your regular skin cells and so it creates these scaly patches so there's different kinds but that's the kind that I had and it itches really badly and so then you're kind of like flaking dry skin, almost like how you see when someone has dry My skin and they have, like, dandruff or something. My whole body was like that and then it xia's and if you scratch it it would bleed.

3:37 Like it was really, it was really hard. Oh my goodness. And then later on when you are about 19, that really started to escalate into something different. What was that? Yeah, when I was 19, I was in my college dorm and I was like, trying to open like the inside bag. It's like a cereal box, you know, like a box of cereal and it's like a simple movement to open that. And Reason like my hands wouldn't work and I didn't know what was going on. Span up. Getting some testing done and found out that I had psoriatic arthritis which is very common to go hand-in-hand with psoriasis. Some people have one and not the other but I got both and I got that through all the bones in my body. Oh my goodness.

4:17 And then shortly after that, they started to go and see some doctors about it. And one doctor in particular, said that your bones were going to start to become deformed if you didn't do something else. Is that right? Yeah, you know it was A journey to get to that point. But basically I had gotten psoriasis, so young and I had really only done like topical treatments for it. Other treatments that we have. Now, we're not as available back then and then when I got sorry, I had a car Freitas, I had tried a medicine that it really backfired. It like didn't work on me very well. So I became kind of scared to try something new. There was more like medicinal and then yeah, after about five or six years of really like having a hard time walking really the kind of becoming nearly Mobile for a lot of the first half of my 20s, my rheumatologist at the time.

5:04 Finally, took x-rays of me and he was just like, your bones are going to become permanently deformed. If you don't, stop this degenerative processes happening. And then obviously I was like 25, you know, and I was like oh my God, I'm not really living my life. That was a huge part of it too. I just felt like I couldn't really live, you know, because I was talking bad, a lot. It was in pain a lot. I didn't really have the physical freedom to like go explore. Or go figure out even like, for anyone who's been in pain. It's like it consumes your mind in such an intense way, you know what I mean? So all those things were happening and I finally, after my doctor said that I was like, okay, I think I'm ready to try medicine again, even though that first time didn't work and it kind of set me back, I think there's been updates and, you know, but I can find something that will work this time and I did and I found a medicine that really helped me and allowed me to kind of have a new lease on life.

5:57 That's amazing. Now there is always a struggle, especially Really for us who are more inclined to prefer natural products and natural ingredients, and things like that. It's almost been a taboo. If you go to the Western medicine front and I know that I battled that a lot with my own situation with my son who also suffers from a genetic disorder which is a mitochondrial disease. And for a while you're looking for holistic, treatments, you're looking for things like that and granted, you know, we called the shamans, we did all of that. We did the acupuncture. We did a lot of the healing and that use to be modalities that we do practice. You just had a Reiki session the other day. But when the body needs, it medicine is there for a reason there is absolutely no taboo and nothing wrong and no shame in needing to dip into Western medicine for those things that are not curable or otherwise addressed for your own purpose, you know. It's like yes some people might benefit from doing the holistic thing and it may work great.

6:54 But everybody is unique. Everybody is different and it is Okay to need to go into medicine for what needs you so that you can find comfort. And it gets you to that place where you can Elevate to a situation where the funk starts to lift away. Right? You know, the pain starts to be alleviated and then you can start functioning and getting to a place where you can participate in your own self. Healing, a bit more. Is that kind of accurate for you too? Yeah, for sure I wish there wasn't such a taboo on taking medication because I definitely for those early years of my twenties, I was I was learning about self-love, I was learning about, you know, manifestation love and light, and these things. And I also was learning about acupuncture and things like that as well.

7:41 And I still follow. So many of the things that I learned back then. Like, I try to keep a positive mindset, even a simple thing, like drinking enough water, it always having water with me. You know, I go to an acupuncturist. Now, I have long haul covid that I'm dealing with lately, so I go to an acupuncturist every week. It's not Or the other. But I also take my medication every, you know, two weeks. And that's what I'm supposed to be taking it. And I think it does such a disservice to shame people, which I think is a lot of what happens that one way is totally wrong or the other way is the only way. It's just I think they can all live together, you know. It doesn't have to be so all or nothing. And I think that's actually the way that we create real Harmony for our bodies and ourselves and our minds even. So, yeah, I experience that a lot but I definitely felt like just so afraid.

8:32 I even felt afraid to tell people in my work, you know, as an entrepreneur and I'm talking about all the things like, self-love things are talking about living with chronic illness. I was so afraid to tell people that I too have to take medication and like, no, I didn't just sit on a Mountaintop and say, ohm for like two days and then not have any chronic illnesses. It's constant. And I think it's just a shame that we shame people into thinking that they need to do it another way. Yeah, the one that I've been. Hearing a lot lately is about the idea or the concept of dis-ease, which is disease, but people believe that. Oh, there's something inherently going on in your subconscious, or in your system that your body is fighting against and it's manifesting as dis ease and so, yeah, I guess that could be a thing. But honestly, I honestly believe that, you know, things are going to happen.

9:24 The fact that you may have cancer or the fact that you may develop psoriasis is not your Fault. And I think that that's the thing, that the idea or the concept of dis ease, please out of my people was like, oh my God, I'm doing something. There's something that's unsettled within my soul or within me that is manifesting. And how do I get rid of this through either meditation or all of these things which may not necessarily be all about Western medicine. But again, I just want to kind of last out the stigma about dis ease or about having chronic illness, because there is no shame about it. There is only the fact that this is This is life and that it's definitely a place where we do seek to alleviate pain and discomfort and doing that through medicine.

10:08 Doing that through any kind of healing modalities that are right for you is perfectly okay? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah I heard that dis he's thing like years ago and I grabbed onto it when I first heard it because I was like oh my God. Okay. Like if I just think perfectly or if I just think he'll these negative thoughts that I have then that means Means I won't have this dis ease in me. Like okay and I did that for years to myself and to be honest with you, I feel like that made me more sick than actually made me feel better because I was so stressed about thinking. Anything less than love and light, everything is great. Everything is going to be amazing.

10:50 At any time I had like a real thought or like a tender thought or I had any fear or anything, that's like completely normal. I would feel scared. And I was making myself more sick, which is just not the way people not the way. Yeah, and on top of that, you know, now that we're touching on, like, mental health. And what not, I know like, from a cultural perspective, the idea. Oh, you've got something wrong with your skin or oh, your body doesn't look like how we ideally want your body to look, no matter what that could be. You know, whether that is an extra five pounds or acne or wrinkles or what have you tell me what that was? Like, because culturally I believe that. The Southeast Asian woman there was something with your family and culturally that really also impacted you growing up, right? Yeah, you know as much as we've talked about how it's not totally connected to only your thoughts your disease, right? We talked about that a lot there is also this part of me that is so connected to my spirit and so connected to something greater than me.

11:50 And a lot of times I feel that through my body and so growing up in a family where in the Indian culture, Very much about keeping things under wraps. It's very much about doing the things that are going to look good. Doing what other people will think is, okay, doing things that you're obligated to do or out of Duty versus what's true for you. I did not come out of the womb that way I just did not. I have never been that way and that doesn't mean that I'm like ruffling feathers just to ruffle feathers. It's not that. But my mom ever since I was 2 has called me Africa. A key, which means firecracker in Hindi and it's because like anything, if it doesn't feel right to me, I just I will speak up. I will say no, I will ask why I will call people out. I just want the truth.

12:46 That's what I've always, always, always strived for and in a family, or in a culture where the truth is kind of secondary to what looks good. It's really inconvenient. It was really, really Really, really inconvenient. And a lot of that I always found is really connected to my health and I honestly still feel that today like so many of my friendships and now I'm 41 and I feel like I finally have settled into a Groove with so many friends that I feel are in my life and love me because I am this way versus for so long. I felt I was friends with are trying so hard to be friends with their being relationships and people who like tolerated as part of me but that's the beauty of getting older.

13:29 Now I get to It'd be like, oh no, I'm seeing the other side, I want to be friends with the people who love me because they come to me because I'm always demanding the truth. So, yeah, in terms of cultural upbringing, it was challenging that doesn't quite acknowledge the physical part of it, but I actually think that that part was so much harder than any other part. And I actually also really struggled with my weight a lot in that conversation. It's funny. Like I think my psoriasis and my story out of arthritis was always so intense, they were trying to fix me but they never made me feel off. Your size because of that. But it was more when I was really really sick. I would lose a lot of weight and then I would be acceptable. And a lot of times when I really wasn't feeling well, and I was like, maybe emotionally eating or my inflammation was really high or whatever it might be, it was not okay. That I was heavier.

14:19 So that's that's actually more the thing that I've had to work on in terms of like my appearance and my family and then coupled with wanting the truth at all times. I completely can relate from the perspective and I think a lot of people can because you know, it is a journey for you to like discover who you are. It's almost like that Journey back to ourselves right where no, there's so much that we take as external influence from the people that we love or the people that we look up to, for cues on what's acceptable, and what's not, and rather than really discovering it for ourselves and being okay, with how we are that creates such a friction in us, being able to accept ourselves.

14:59 I was and that causes us to feel insecure in ourselves and it resonates and it creates all sorts of things that happen. Where once you do find that, you know what? It's almost like a surrendering, right? That's almost like you know what, I can't fight this anymore, you get to a point where yeah wow I'm suddenly okay with myself and I'm just going to be me and then once you are you realize that law of attraction works and you find the people that love you for who you are because you know you love who you are other people will too. Yeah it's so true. It's taken me a while. While to get there. I actually I'm I just turned 41 a couple months ago and I feel like I'm finally settling in said, I'm sure it's going to even more and more and more as I get older. But yeah, this birthday really feel like that's been like the biggest difference that I finally feel, if you don't like me or don't want what's going on over here, like, please leave, I'm actually fine with that because like, I have people who do want exactly how I am but it takes time to get there. Yeah, and there will be days where it's more and then they'll Days where you'll feel a little bit woozy is not a great day for me and that's okay too.

16:04 You know, it's just like long as. There's more moving forward in that direction as we're going through time and going through life, then you know, I consider that a win. I think that's a pretty successful life. Totally, totally, I agree. Yeah, so then as you were on your path, you started to almost get to this place where you had a ritual of self-care going. You kind of got into the Schick of like, that was the thing that helped you to I think Elevate and lift. Yourself into this place where oh I have a little bit more energy to devote to myself and then girlfriend's, you went all out. Even I mean, you started to become a Global TV host, on natural, beautiful on Z living, you represented fresh a beauty. Brand on QVC, you founded your bella, life, and online, lifestyle magazine.

16:51 So, what gave you this impetus to really go into this place where you were gravitating towards an image-based career? Yeah, that's such a beautiful way. Put it. So when I was 15, I like to tell the story because I think nowadays we can look on social media, or wherever and just see the finished product of someone, or even just like feel competitive, like, it's like all about the results or the end goal or whatever. But when I was 15, and I was really in the part of all the devastation was going through with my body and I was really struggling. And I also I was in high school. I had a really hard time concentrating in class and Bullied a lot and all these things and a lot of that came back to like what I was dealing with, with my health, I had this experience with what I call God but, you know, call it what you want or to me. I'm a very spiritual person and not a religious person really at all, but a very, very spiritual person. I had this moment where I really was like on my knees. Just like I don't know how I'm going to do this anymore, I feel like I don't understand why you brought me here like this is what I was saying out loud.

17:58 God I'm a locked myself in Closet was sitting at the bottom of my closets on my floor and I was just like, I don't know why you brought me here just to like, put me through this much suffering and I feel like so many people have had that experience, right? Where you're just like make it make sense II don't understand. I actually do not understand and I heard a message that was so clear. I'm going to expel me chills. It's been so many years since I have been telling the story that I always get chills whenever I share it. And I heard a message that was so So clear and all I heard was this is not about you and I and I didn't know getting chills. I'm gonna yeah look my arm hair is growing so much right now. Yeah that's when you know that's when you know Divine message it's powerful.

18:47 Yeah and I didn't know what that really meant, right? I was 15 and there was no I mean it's barely internet back. Then there was no blogging and you know my friends that are authors and like all these There was none of that, but I knew it was true. I knew I didn't understand what it meant, but I knew it was true. So from that moment forward, I allowed myself to believe that my suffering was not about me. And I sort of ever since that moment. And even today, you know, even with doing lots of things, I'm constantly on the expedition of like, what is this. Why did you give me two decades worth of Plus of suffering, why did you put me through that Journey? What is it, what every single day I want to be living up to what you told me that my purpose was like the reason for you doing this and this.

19:43 So my first attempt at that was ballet. If you know, you're about life.com, which is closed now. But I had that initially, I started it because I really wanted my own talk show because I really believe that my love for performance and my love. We're talking and, you know, all that kind of stuff was meant to be married with sharing a deeper story and Anime connections. I didn't have any experience. I didn't have any knowledge of how to do it, but I basically created a life as a sort of template for what a talk show, could be and prayed and charge my credit card, and I hired a graphic designer. And then three years later. I ended up getting my own talk show on cable television, but that still wasn't it. It was amazing.

20:28 It was so beautiful. It was such. Incredible Journey and for me talking about beauty and talking about self-love and all those kinds of things are so important. But I really wanted to be talking about chronic illness and I didn't know how to do that and then beginning and I didn't even know that I was like at allowed to do that because I didn't know anyone who was really talking about those things. It was that first moment that led me to that and it's sort of unfold it and there are. Yeah I think that that's an extraordinary. Story and to the people who are entrepreneurs, I'm an entrepreneur entrepreneur and who feel like, oh, they're afraid to fail, it's like, oh gosh. What if I fail and that fear is holding them back. Whereas, if you just think about it, like school, like life is all about practice and it's just as if you're learning how to play ball or if you're in school, it's like perhaps that step was your Elementary School, you know? And then it's kind of like congratulations, you've graduated that moves aside and it creates A New Path for you to start opening up.

21:29 Up into something new, which is bigger, and more aligned with who you are becoming. And so, yeah, I think that the idea of being image-based, it was almost like, because you were here a little firecracker. I think it's just like, you know, heck with you psoriasis. Heck with you, but, you know, it's like this is me and it was like, your way of almost pushing yourself and forcing yourself into a position where it's like, this is the beautiful life that I am creating. This is the natural life that I am creating and I can see how as you're sifting and sorting and going through that process. To that. It really didn't mail it for you either. And so, perhaps this next phase, which is your chronic on story, this is the new Evolution of it being, okay, to be chronically, anything, you know, it's like let's lift off the stigma. Let's lift off the shame.

22:13 Let's give people an opportunity to come together and celebrate those winds. However, big or small that they might be. Yeah, so tell me about chronic on tell our listeners what this is and what they can expect their. Yeah. So I launched chronicon in 2019. It's a At form, that's dedicated to elevating the lives of those living with a chronic illness. A lot of people don't realize almost half the population of the United States has a chronic illness. That's over a hundred and thirty three million Americans. And a chronic illness is anything that has persistent symptoms for three months or longer. So a lot of people might not even realize they have a chronic illness, which happens actually a lot. They don't even know that they can claim being a part of that population. So I launched chronicon Is, I've had multiple chronic illnesses for most of my life and I genuinely always felt like I was the only one and I have people in my family that have chronic illnesses and I still felt, they don't have the same ones that I do.

23:11 They don't have the same symptoms, you know? So I still felt so alone in my journey and it kind of just came to an inflection point where I was like, wait a second. I feel so alone are there. Like not that many of us like, what's happening, like, how come and then I realized that there are this many people people that have a chronic illness and I just saw such a disconnect and this such a disservice to all the people out there that are going through. So much of what I've gone through with your son is gone through and you you've gone through As a caretaker and we feel like there's something wrong that we are the only ones or no one understands us or we're doing this completely in a silo and I actually think of it, very similarly to the curvy industry and how curvy women would often meet owned by a lack of marketing and lack of advertising and Commedia that they don't get married, but they don't go to work out classes that they don't go looking cute at brunch, right?

24:06 They just ignored left out of those conversations. And now of course, the curvy Industries are 24 billion dollar a year industry and they have shown in a massive way that not only do they do those things but they're absolutely beautiful and they're thriving and their multi-dimensional, they're not just curvy. And so I really see that that's what is needed and what is possible for us to come. The feel folks, we deserve our own industry that is dedicated and really pervasive in the meeting at in the landscape out there, in a way that has a skilled truly seen. So, chronicon is my answer to that chronicon is our way of taking that step and saying, we are here and we deserve to be here. We deserve to be marketed to, we deserve to be a part of society's narrative in a positive way in a multi-dimensional way and like, let's do something about that. So, it's a conference and And community. And yeah, it's the love of my life honestly, that is super special.

25:05 And so how does somebody Joy nor are their criteria to be part of it? We were having a conference in Brooklyn. This fall October 28, and when the tickets are available in probably July, you follow at chronicon, official you'll see notices are Instagram, so you can join us there. But there is an online community, as I mentioned and that anyone in the world can join me, have people from all over? The world. You just have to sign up. It's The Chronic on community.com and it's a monthly membership that we have a criteria. If you read what's going on in there and it resonates with you, you're welcome to join. We have people who are caretakers. We have people who are facilitators, who are doctors, we have people who have horse are actually chronically ill, so I believe that we need to all come together. And so it's open to whoever wants to join and especially if you have a chronic illness and we have events every single week, which is Amazing and we also have content every single day.

26:02 So it's a beautiful supportive place to be. That sounds amazing. Now, the Curious thing that I've come across with some particular groups that I've been part of a groups on special needs that I've been part of, I've been part of my toe support groups and things like that, and I've kind of come in and out of them. Because I found that when I first had received, my son's diagnosis, I was in this panicky, I need to figure out everything that I can possibly figure out about this disorder and what I can do about it. I think that I was just in like research and help me panic fix mode. And so I joined all of these different groups asking questions and getting a lot of wonderful answers and then I think As I Grew into it I was finding that it no longer serve me at least some of the group's.

26:48 They were kind of keeping me in this space of overwhelm and of hearing a lot of stories that were keeping me in almost a place of helplessness. And so For my own mental sanity and health. I was like, you know what? I feel like, maybe I can do this on my own and so it was okay for a time of my life and I totally think that it's great for people. Those particular ones were great for people who were looking for answers, but it became exhausting like physically exhausting for me to see a lot of other people going through their issues. And unfortunately, a lot of children who are passing away and different things like that, which for my own fragile sensibilities, it became really hard for me to take on that.

27:29 Additional emotion even though it's like you want to help you want to do what you can but at the same time you're also trying to heal and deal with all of the things that you're dealing with at home. Are there any tips or advice or are there any subsets that you can think about or that you offer that are good for people on the different stages of their healing Journeys? That's such a great question. Konig on, is for the person who is ready to learn what it means for them to thrive in their life, with their illness. And we have themes every single month. The First theme of the year is all about thriving with chronic illness. And we talked about how that word can even be triggering if you have a chronic illness because sometimes we can that a bad or we have awful brain fog.

28:12 We can barely get through a meeting or whatever it might be, but we talked a lot in that month about how it is about knowing yourself. Well enough. So that, you know what that means for you, in that moment. It's not about comparing it to anyone else and so every single month and every single day chronicon, We talked about what it means to celebrate our lives. We have gratitude breads, we have friends about winning every single week. It's not that maybe we're doing as much as the person next to us or that we're doing as much as we're doing before we got diagnosed. But it's about taking the opportunity. Every chance we can to the focus on what we are doing and focus on how much we have grown you know, and I think so often when you get a diagnosis I know this is definitely been the case for me, you're just one of Did like you're just a sick person, you know.

29:02 And I think the thing was chronicon is like we are fighting every single day to make sure that people know they are full human being seeing life through the lens of the chronically ill, you know, and having a chronic illness, but they're singing, We have arts and crafts. We have a whole group that does art projects together. We have different events. We're learning about plants, and we're learning about burnout. And we're learning about all these different things that have nothing to do necessarily with the fact that we have. Achilles has. We're always bringing that to the Forefront. And we're always acknowledging that there's nuances because we're living with certain conditions, but it's so much more than that. And I think that forms and something I'm talking about, I've experienced the same thing, there's like for the medication that I'm on, there's all these forms, you know, you can go in and it is terrifying and it's terrifying. And gives me so much anxiety, it makes me so depressed. And a lot of people who join chronic on say that they've had that same experience.

29:58 I chronicon is complete. You different from that. It doesn't mean you can't share when you're having a tough time, but we do have chronic on instead of trauma. Dumping will do something like, hey guys, I'm in the hospital, I'm having a crazy surgery. Can you send me your cat pictures or can you send me your pictures of your fur babies? You know what I mean? So it's like we acknowledge it. Like, this is annoying. I have to get another surgery. And can you write in the feet with some cute pictures of infrared Rays? You know, so that's kind of The difference and I think that's such an important thing that you bring up because a lot of people are nervous to start and join communities already dealing with so much. Like how am I gonna handle my own paint along with holding everybody else's? That's not more.

30:42 Chronic pain is about. Oh, that is so enlightening and I'm so happy to hear that because yeah, it can be that there is that misery loves company component. So when you're feeling really like helpless, there are probably places which will serve you really well in that space where you can. You can just hold space and vent if you need to. But then being part of a community where it's nothing but venting and nothing that people just commiserating doesn't help Elevate you out of that place and get you to that healing place where we all want to stay more positive and so yeah. A freaking cat picture is amazing and uh, sometimes I want to see happy puppies, like prancing down the hallway and not that that's like ignoring the problem. It's just I versions are important, laughter is really, it's medicine.

31:29 In laughter and happiness, and joy is medicine and any kind of little bites of positivity that you can get, can be super, super helpful. Yeah, we laugh a lot in a chronic own community and so many people have become like in real life friends with people that they met in online and it's just been, it's been such a blessing. So thank you very much. It reminds me of the time. My son was in the ICU and the pqi Children's Hospital Los Angeles. You know he had just been put on life support. And things were so dark and gloomy, but then all of a sudden for whatever reason, I decided to put on rave music. And I blasted it to the point where the nurses started coming into our room and dancing with us. And we were flashing the live and it just need everybody crack up.

32:16 It just was that little bit of levity in what could be a crazy situation where you just don't know what's going to happen but sometimes you just need that. Absolutely. It's mobile. It's really incredible. Yeah, yeah. Having lived with psoriasis and also being a curvy girl, would you ever have thought that you'd see yourself on an advertisement in a swimsuit and in New York City bus sighs? You're all now, tell me about what this was like. Absolutely not. I would have never ever, ever, ever guessed that. It's been really wonderful. It's been really just such an honor. Honestly, the reason why I'm passionate about it is because it really speaks to Creating that dialogue in that conversation in media.

33:02 And when you can see it, right, someone, another young girl who has psoriasis sees me wearing my bathing suit and being like, whatever. I'm up here, it's fine. That means that she can do that, you know, and she can have more confidence. And so that's why I think it's so important that we continue to kind of fight through our own insecurities, just keep going. And yeah, it's been. It's been such an honor to have that experience. I think that It is so beautiful and not only that. I mean, you are such a beautiful person inside and out and so absolutely. You deserve that kind of Limelight. There was a point in my career when I was working in the beauty industry, for a very large company, and one of the board members, who was one of the only women in the company and upper management said out loud, when you're 50 and a woman, you disappear, you are invisible.

33:54 And I thought to myself, well gosh, that's really sad at the time. I was probably in my Already is and I was like, oh gosh, I don't have much time. And and what is it about? This industry that makes people feel like they are unworthy, or they just don't deserve to be seen, you know, fast forward here. I'm 52 years old. And we're on the same model board and I just can't believe it either. You know, who would have ever thought that a girl who's 52 South Korean and over 50 would ever be a model. That was just a completely astounding moment for me when I got that call now. Well, it's so fun to do this together. I'm excited to see what it out of it. It's like such a journey. True, true. So now I know that you've got probably lots of advice or things that have worked for you and I never really like to give advice myself because it's you know, take what you want. It's like if any of the things that we say here on this podcast or anything that you might see on a blog or whatnot, you know, try it on like a new dress and if you think that it feels good, then try it on and see what works. But if it doesn't, then move on.

34:57 But are there any things that helped you? Along the way or anything that you would impart as far as wisdom that people living with chronic illness and how to get to a place of self-love. Well, I'm with you on the not giving advice thing I agree. Yeah, I shy away from that a little bit, but what I will say that's helped me is I think we often don't take enough time to get quiet were so busy, and I can be guilty of this too, especially like when I'm having a hard time that's like, when I avoid getting quiet like more and more, More. And I just find that, that has probably been the biggest help for me over the years, is no matter what's going on, whether it's with my body, or in relationships, or with work, or whatever, it might be, just taking that time and whatever getting quiet means for you.

35:47 So sometimes it's like I get into bed, a little early and I just lie there and kind of pray out loud or I kind of, you know, talk to God out loud while I'm trying to fall asleep or other times. I turn off all Technology. And I'll just take my water and they'll sit by my view. And I'll look out and I'll be like, okay, I'm just going to take in what's in front of me and not focus on anything else. So it really figure out what feels good to you. But I really think getting quiet allows us to Center into more kindness into more truth and honesty with ourselves and have a gentler or Kinder approach to what we're navigating and like, what might be really, really challenging in that moment versus trying to force and Push and compare and feel like we should be in a different place. I honestly think just getting quiet and allowing herself that really really makes a big difference and it's something I don't think we do enough.

36:40 So it's a really basic thing and there's like a thousand other things I can say. But I think if you could do that, one thing, you would probably feel a little bit more supported and a little better. Yeah, I completely a million times endorse that statement and I often say, you know, we are humans being not humans doing and when we are humans doing we're not Being for say and so getting quiet, really gets us to that place where we're not actioning, we're not forcing so much. We're not thinking about all the things that are on our to-do list, rather, we're thinking about how do I want to be? How do I want to feel? You know, what is my life like, what do I want it to be? Like, how am I serving myself? How am I serving others? And and you start getting to those bigger deeper questions rather than being influenced by everything that you see on your screens and it helps you to be more true to To yourself and to find what you really need and what you really want, rather than being. So, susceptible to a lot of the, the news and things that are happening elsewhere in the world, letting that impact our emotions.

37:44 Yeah, well, nittaku Chopra, it was a delight to speak with you today. Thank you so much for all of your wisdom and what you're doing with chronic on everybody. I invite you to follow nitta on her website as well as on chronic on and Instagram. I'll be putting all of Handles below so that you can find her and we'll see you again for another episode of Role Models next week. Handles below so that you can find her and we'll see you again for another episode of Role Models next week.