Goodbye People-Pleasing, Hello Self-Love with Amy Ballantyne

Jennifer Norman:
Hello to all of my beautiful humans. Welcome to the Human Beauty Movement podcast. My name is Jennifer Norman. I'm the founder of the human beauty movement and your host. I created the human beauty movement to help inspire radical self love, radical self acceptance, and radical self expression. On this podcast, I invite beautiful humans from all corners of the globe to join me for open conversations about their life lessons and the important work that they're doing to help humankind. So take a moment now to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss an episode. I'm so glad that you're here, joining me for today's show.

Jennifer Norman:
Today we're going to dive into a topic that is one of my favorites. It's the topic of self love. So many of us fight invisible battles inside our own minds. We are constantly putting ourselves down, making it harder to live life to our full potential. We know deep inside that we want to feel better about ourselves, but it's hard to find a way. How? My guest today is Amy Valentine. Amy is a TEDx speaker, an executive life coach, a sought after workplace trainer, a best selling author, and the host of the podcast power to the People pleasers. Her mission is to inspire 10,000 humans to embrace their worthiness and release the overwhelm, pressure, and stress that is preventing them from living the life they desire.

Jennifer Norman:
Now, that is a cause I can get behind. Welcome to the show, Amy.

Amy Ballantyne:
Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here today.

Jennifer Norman:
And I'm excited to have you. You have to tell everybody how you arrived at the work that you do.

Amy Ballantyne:
Well, it's a long journey as we've all been on, right? But one of the things for me that has been a part of my story is my mom actually lost both of her parents before she was ten. And when I was growing up, I would hear about this experience of hers and I would hear about these people. I never got to hug or kiss or be close to, laugh with, learn from. And this actually was the driving force behind for me, my own wellness journey and my own journey of reconnecting to myself so that I can really and truly be here, doing what I can to live a long, healthy, and productive life. So in one day, I have hopes of knowing my potential, my future grandchildren, great grandchildren, and having those opportunities to be with them, to laugh with them, to learn with them, grow with them, all of those moments. But this is what really ignites me. To do the work on myself, to take the time to care for myself, to show myself love. And on this journey of doing this work, I've uncovered that I can be supportive for others to find this connection for themselves and to break down the barriers that are keeping people stuck in the yuck and to.

Amy Ballantyne:
Really, that's a new phrase. Amy's stuck in the yuck.

Jennifer Norman:
I like that. Stuck in the yuck.

Amy Ballantyne:
Yes. And so helping those people to get out of that state and show themselves love and care.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah. For those of you who are listening and can't see Amy on screen, she's got this amazing plaque behind her that says, family health, contribution, and legacy. And, of course, that is a perfect example of the priorities that she has. Just based upon what you said, is, like, what is most important to us, around us, you know, our family, our health, what we can give back, our contributions, and what we're gonna leave behind, our legacy. I love that.

Amy Ballantyne:
Yeah. Those are my core values. So I post it behind me on purpose to remind me every day.

Jennifer Norman:
Yep. And I know that you're very big on those little cues, those little bits of self marketing, you call them.

Amy Ballantyne:
We have so much going on in our lives, right? Our minds are full, our days are full, and yet we create this goal or desire to want to think better or be better or do better in some way. But because our minds are so full, sometimes those wishes or hopes fly off into the wind because they're not present enough to remind us that, okay, I, at that time, was saying, I want to know that I am enough. I want to connect to this feeling in myself. I want to believe this, that I'm enough. And at the time, I really didn't. And one of the steps that I took in order to make this more present in my space and my mind so that I could take actions around it, was to have the tattoo on my arm was I had it written on our bathroom mirror. I had it. This message, wherever I could put it, essentially, so that in the chaos and the busyness of life, I was still being reminded of something that was important to be working on, and that was my belief that I was enough.

Jennifer Norman:
Modern life is rich. It is full and truly. I love how you're saying that. I have this phrase is like, is your mind full, or are you mindful? So there's a difference between having a mind that is full or being mindful. And being mindful means that you can take those little nanoseconds, even if it is just a little reminder. Something that is on your wall, little cues all over my walls. Myself, the one that I'm looking at right now says, out of difficulties grow miracles. And so it always reminds me about resiliency.

Jennifer Norman:
So things like that are important to surround yourself with the energy, the phrases. And so those are things that can help you from an external perspective. Remember your positive cues in order to keep yourself having your cup runneth over, as it were. When we are young, we are conditioned to think, thinking that busyness is almost like a medal of honor, a badge of honor. It's like, oh, how much can I squeeze in? And how frantic can I seem like I am? And it almost seems like I'm so desirable or I'm so needed because I'm keeping myself busy and I have no time, quote unquote, no time for myself or no time for other things in life that, oh, I wish I could get to that, but I can't because I'm slavishly focusing on XYZ. And we forget that we are empowered to make those choices which can help us to be more in control and be happier. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Because I know that you work in that space a whole lot.

Amy Ballantyne:
Oh, my gosh, you are absolutely right. I'm laughing over here because, myself included, and part of the reason why I have power to the people pleasers as a means to, again, remind myself that I'm on a journey of recovery. And many people are wanting to take back that time for themselves, and they're wanting to let go of this. I love how you said the badge of honor, of busyness, that it's this status.

Jennifer Norman:
I love that.

Amy Ballantyne:
I love that. And so there are a number of experiences that we fall into right in the. The reason I'm saying yes to everything is to please others. The reason I'm falling into saying yes to everything or doing so much is because I have to prove myself. I have to prove myself as worthy. I have to prove myself as valuable. If I'm not doing that, then who am I? My goodness, there's so many layers here to the busy badge of honor and what comes up for people. And one of the things that I love to remind people of, and it often comes from a place of letting go of something, is when we've let go of something, you can truly see that you are so much more than the things that you're doing.

Amy Ballantyne:
It's more about who you are being. And if you're feeling like the reason that you're doing the things is because you have to prove. You have to show, you have to demonstrate. There is an interesting realization that can happen around. Wait a second. I am still, again, I'm still enough. I am still a wonderful human being, whether I'm doing a million things or I'm doing five things. And actually, a quote that someone said to me once that really resonated with me and has stuck with me forever, is we get to say no to the good stuff in order to say yes to the great.

Amy Ballantyne:
And I repeat that statement to myself frequently, actually, when I'm in that state of I want to people, please. I want to seem valuable. I want to be a part of this for maybe a reason that doesn't actually align with me is I get to say no to the good thing, even though it's a really good thing. But in order to say yes to the great, that's a step that I need to or get to take. And part of that is recognizing that. Saying yes to the great of things that actually bring us more peace, calm, joy, happiness, that can be very, very powerful when you start to put a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more priority and weight around that and being mindful, as you said, about those kinds of choices, because they are choices.

Jennifer Norman:
When I first heard that phrase, good is the enemy of great, I was like, oh, it's very evocative or provocative, shall I say? And yet there is an interesting aspect to it, which is like, oh, is that aiding imperfectionism? Like, oh, well, I'm not good enough. Like, I really want to be great. And so, yeah, there are different ways of looking at it. And the way to look at it is not through that old model of success, which is external validation. The ego, like the cars, the money, the man, the woman, whoever is outside of you. Yeah. The clothes, all of those little cues that come, like, the brass ring outside. It's really being good enough for yourself, being great for yourself, and being okay with the fact that there is greatness in all of us.

Jennifer Norman:
And you are the only person who can really evaluate if your life is where you want it to be. If it is, then amazing. You're happy. You've got it. A lot of us are on a journey of self improvement, and we have to be delicate with ourselves as we go along, because I know for myself, when I was young, I was a dancer, and I was a gymnast, and so it was very much. Yeah, you, too. Okay.

Amy Ballantyne:
Yeah, dancer. Me too.

Jennifer Norman:
And I think that that's part of it is, like, because there is such refinement and there is perfection in the technique and the dance. And so sometimes those things spill over to other aspects of our lives. It's like, okay, you didn't do that pirouette so solidly. You weren't on a dime. Your hand was in the wrong place. And so you are very micro critical of yourself in other aspects of your life. And so you want the performance to be beautiful. You want it to be great, you want it to be perfect.

Jennifer Norman:
And yet that's not necessarily the way that we want to live our lives. That might be that you want to get to a level of execution that is so wonderful that you're like, yes, I really nailed that. That's one thing, but that's not necessarily how you want to treat your relationships or how you want to act with your kids or how you want to be with yourself. Because I don't think that anybody believe that true happiness comes from constantly criticizing yourself and correcting yourself in such a way that is so strict and confined. Rigid and rigid. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, living a life that is freer and more open and full of curiosity and fun.

Jennifer Norman:
And I know you talk a lot about having fun and laughing and that being such an important part of creativity and living a happy, fulfilled life, it's an important aspect of self love, too.

Amy Ballantyne:
Yes.

Jennifer Norman:
Yes, very much so. Let's talk about self love for a minute, because I know that it's something that so many of us struggle with, and some of it is that conditioning from our early childhood that why can't you just behave? Or why can't you be like somebody else? I know that there was a lot of that kind of talk in my household is like, I wish that you could be like x, Y and z. What does that do to a child when you hear that? Like, very defeating, and it makes you feel bad about yourself and you carry those messages into your childhood unbeknownst to you, where they really came from. Or perhaps you do know, but you just can't shake it. Can you tell us a little bit about other sources that you may know of why people are so critical of themselves and how they might be able to take these little steps towards increasing self love?

Amy Ballantyne:
Yeah, I really think that you hit the nail on the head in terms of, for the majority of us, it is our upbringing, it is key people in our lives that have made comments here and there, and even the media overhearing comments and people making meaning out of something that happened in a tv show or a movie and making it have meaning in their own life, because me and that person are kind of the same. So that must mean that I am dot, dot, dot as well. Those comparisons and judgments are real. And that early time, right before were eight, nine years old. Those small moments which we might think are not that significant, actually, as you said, get held onto and magnified because we've rethought those thoughts over and over and over and over and over. And we've said those things to ourselves over and over and over for years, decades. Right. And that programming gets really hardwired in.

Amy Ballantyne:
So one of the things that I like to remind people when we're trying to shift to a new state, a new state of thinking or even a new behavior. And James clear talks about this in atomic habits. It's the same as starting a new action. Starting a new thinking requires being aware of the current state that we are in. So what is the current model of talking and thinking about yourself that maybe isn't serving you? Getting really clear and really aware on where you're not showing yourself. Love would be step one and then step two. I really like thinking about, okay, if there is this thought of I should be more like other people or I should be more like this person, what is a better feeling thought that I can choose a slightly better one. We're not jumping from I am now a millionaire if you're not, because that's such a far away feeling or thought.

Amy Ballantyne:
But it's the. What's a slightly better feeling thought that you could move towards? I am taking actions to show myself more love. I am taking steps to be more kind to myself. I'm catching myself when I say negative things is a better feeling thought than I suck. I did it again. I keep doing these horrible things, right? Like, so noticing what's a better feeling thought. And then one of the ways that we can really strengthen these new beliefs, as we saw with the crappy old beliefs, they've been rolling around for years, right? So one of the ways that we can start to shift is obviously putting them in our space, repeating them more, being reminded with visual reminders, and then looking for proof of ways that we are doing the new thing that we want to be doing. Looking for proof.

Amy Ballantyne:
Because part of the reason why we're not shifting, quote unquote, as fast as we want to be in some areas, or adopting new habits, new thought patterns, is because we are not looking for proof that we are, in fact, adopting it. We're still conditioned ourselves to look for proof of the way we have always been. And so often I hear my clients say, well, I've always done it this way. I've always done it this way. Except two minutes before that they had done it a different way. And I then shine a light and say, but wait a second. At the beginning of our conversation, you were celebrating how you had taken a new action. But they forgot about that.

Amy Ballantyne:
They're not recognizing that as proof that they're moving in the direction that they want to go.

Jennifer Norman:
So there is an opportunity thought about themselves.

Amy Ballantyne:
Yes. And to, like, really start noticing, what is the proof that I am making progress versus what is the proof that I'm still stuck in my old way? What are we being mindful and tuning into? Interesting.

Jennifer Norman:
I had a former guest on the show, Joe Templin, who was admittedly ADHD and autistic, and there were so many beautiful aspects of the way that he approached life that I think are interesting to bring to this conversation. And one is the fact that he randomly became an ultra marathoner. And it's, like, not overnight. Does one say, I want to run 100 miles at just any given moment of time? I'm going to just go outside, put my running shoes on, and run 100 miles? Because, yeah, that's just what I want to accomplish. No, it's overwhelming. I mean, I haven't even done a marathon in my life. I can't even imagine going more than, like, 10 miles, 15 miles. And it takes a lot of effort to do an ultra marathon.

Jennifer Norman:
But he never set out to be an ultra marathoner. What he did, he put on his running shoes in one day because he was feeling like his body wasn't feeling so good. He's like, I think I want to go for a jog. So he goes, and he's like, I can jog to that next corner over there. And he jogs to the next corner, and then he goes, oh, I could. I can go to that stoplight over there. And so he chunked it down into little, tiny accomplishments. And when you do that, it's not so overwhelming.

Jennifer Norman:
And you say, yeah, I'm getting validation. My own mental cues are, yeah, I can do that. I can do that. Yeah. And little by little, stacking those on top of each other, just like atomic habits, you are able to get and accomplish much greater things than if you ever set out to do so in the first place. So we should never discount the value of those little, small accomplishments, because they are what the building blocks are to greater accomplishments ahead. And so the same thing happens with self love. If you can say to yourself, you know, I did it, you know, I'm really proud of myself today.

Jennifer Norman:
You know, I noticed something about myself today. Oh, I caught myself saying that thing again, that I usually say about myself today. And I said to myself, no, I don't believe that anymore. Those little massive, massive steps on the road to you feeling better about yourself, being able to show yourself more self love over the long run.

Amy Ballantyne:
Yes, I love that. And I would even layer on the message that I love to use is I am celebrating myself. So I'm wiring in the words for those around me that it's not about being boastful or arrogant, because I hear so often people are like, well, I don't want to seem arrogant. I don't want to seem like a show off. It's, again, we're shifting the perspective on how we're seeing, showing ourselves kindness and love and the words that we're choosing to say to ourselves. And so when I say, okay, I am celebrating that I did this, and I say it to myself in my head and out loud to people that, you know, I'm celebrating this today, or I'm celebrating that. It helps me use those mini moments as fuel. And that's exactly what you were saying in the I can do the run from here to the mailbox.

Amy Ballantyne:
I can do it. I can do. That's the motivational fuel for taking the next action. And I really believe there is a tremendous power in that small moment of recognizing and celebrating for ourselves because no one else is going to celebrate for us as adults. No one is going to celebrate for us. Right. And help us have that fuel to keep on keeping on.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah. And to the point of surrounding yourself with positive energy rather than the doom scrolling where you're like, oh, my gosh, it's hard to get out of a mindset of, oh, this is depleting. And then you feel like you're drained and all of the things putting yourself into places that are, for example, support groups or different kinds of positive social media where you get to humble brag, where everybody helps to celebrate you for those accomplishments that you've done. I know a long time ago during COVID it was like, I showered today.

Amy Ballantyne:
Yeah.

Jennifer Norman:
You know, everybody was just, like, excited because it's like doing my part, things like that. But as no matter how small it is, it's like I hugged a cat today. You know, just, you know, ridiculous, silly, funny things. Or it could be massive, like, I was on a TEDx stage, as you were. Congratulations, which is amazing. And I think that when you're able to have those kinds of positive reinforcements that will help to lift you up, it becomes easier for you to feel supported and for you to support others because we all know that with the action you mentioned, it perfectly is like, when we are on our own road, helping others along the way is possibly the best way to somatically get it into our own bodies. That's why we do it. That's why I do this podcast is like, I knew that I had a whole issue with self love.

Jennifer Norman:
I had a whole issue with self acceptance and being able to express myself in the way that I wanted to. And so this podcast was one of those ways where I knew that I was on this journey. I knew that I had gotten to the place where I could offer other people help. And then along the way of offering people help, I am helping to reinforce all of those cues within myself in order to continue on this journey, which is going to be lifelong. And it's wonderful.

Amy Ballantyne:
I love it. I love it. I'm celebrating you.

Jennifer Norman:
Let's just have a moment and celebrate you for being. Cheer to women, supporting women. Cheer to all of that. I want to talk a moment about self talk and the fact that you decided to coin a phrase, which is self communication. I would love to hear a little bit about that and what it said. The difference.

Amy Ballantyne:
Yeah. So we've been talking about self talk a bit already, right? The statements that we're making to ourselves, but we know that communication is more than just talking, right? There is body language, there is tone, there is volume. There is all of these pieces of the puzzle, and we get to access that when we are self marketing to ourself, right? So self talk is marketing to ourself is helping us see a certain perspective, and often our self talk is not so fabulous, right? So it's this opportunity to recognize, and my favorite example is recognizing. What do you do when you walk by a mirror? What do you do? Right? I mean, this is our example. If you're listening and you're thinking, okay, what do I do when I walk by mirror? If you're not sure, I want you to pay attention to this and just take note, this is self communication. That moment when you walk by the mirror and the look you give yourself. Are you raising your eyebrows? Are you sucking in your stomach? Are you sticking out your breasts? Are you squeezing your butt? Are you moving your clothing? Are you flicking your hair? Are you sticking out your chin? Or are you smiling? Mel Robbins says, like, stand in the mirror and give yourself a high five. Right? High five.

Amy Ballantyne:
Habitat. What are you doing in the mirror? This is part of your communication. Self communication. If you're on a journey to have more self love and talk to yourself, in a better way, I would challenge you to also consider what is your body language saying on that journey as well? Is it aligned to this new way of being, this new desire to love yourself more? How can you, in front of that mirror, show yourself more love? How can you notice when you are having the self talk, is it really mean? Like, is there a tone of sarcasm? Is there a tone of criticism? Whose tone did that come from? Are you repeating a tone that you heard in the past that is not helpful for you? Are you yelling at yourself in your head? Right? There's all of these pieces of communication that I think we can tap into to recognize, okay, when you go through something hard, when there's that hard moment, what is the volume of which you're speaking to yourself in your head? And I had a harder moment this week. And, and as I was speaking to myself about it, and even out loud, because I'm here by myself during the day in the office, right? As I was speaking out loud, I was saying, I was aiming to have a calm, kind tone to myself. Let's practice what we're talking about here. Aiming to have a kind, calm tone as opposed to, well, that bleeping sucked, right?

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah. Right.

Amy Ballantyne:
And being mean and getting on the spiral train of despair and anger and meanness to myself, aiming to have that tone and volume and kindness as I'm looking in the zoo person, having kindness for myself in that moment of, okay, this is hard. This is not easy. It doesn't feel good. But can I hold that space of compassion just like we would for another human sitting across from us, right, who might be going through something hard? What is the body language we're showing back to ourselves and tone and volume to ourselves in those moments?

Jennifer Norman:
And an interesting point about that. I, by the way, on the human beauty movement blog, there is a blog about mirror gazing, which I definitely recommend that listeners go take a look at because it is an exercise and it is an uncomfortable one, to be honest with you. When you start out, if you're staring at yourself and reacting with love at every pore, every crevice, every pimple, every wrinkle that you see, and those things are things to notice, it's like, how are you reacting to aging? How are you reacting to what other people or what society, media might call, quote unquote, flaws? How is it when you're standing fully naked in front of a mirror and staring at yourself, do you really feel down? Or are you at that place where you can have a sense of humor about it and be a little bit self deprecating, but also know if that is a defense mechanism, too. So there's a whole bunch of layers about self deprecating talk as well. But, yeah, it's really interesting to see if over time, you can actually learn to love the way that you are without any makeup, without any stuff in your hair, without any clothes on, and appreciate your body for where it is at this moment. There's a very profound statement, which is a very simple one, but it is. This is the youngest you will ever be. It's the oldest you will ever be, and it's the youngest you will ever be.

Jennifer Norman:
Have you ever gone back and looked at a picture of yourself, like, ten years ago, and you're like, oh, my God, what was I complaining about? I looked so great back then. You're just like, yeah, along the way. If you can appreciate the way that you are now and be like, yeah, this is gorgeous. It's gorgeous. Your hands, your body, your smile, everything about the light in your eyes, your teeth, everything about the way that you're seeing skin is the way that your shape is. It's absolutely a marvelous work of art. You are a natural phenomenon, and we don't recognize how incredibly marvelous we are. Everything is functioning.

Jennifer Norman:
Everything is working. I had a real come to Jesus, as it were, when I had gone through a situation with my son, and he had lost a lot of his ability to move, and he lost his ability to speak. He lost his ability to breathe on his own and to eat by mouth, and yet his spirit is so strong. And it made me just appreciate the physical body like I've never appreciated before. You know, it's always that once you've lost something, then you appreciated a bit more of what you had. And he, to me, is always a reminder of how precious our health is, how precious our bodies are, how miraculous that life is here on earth. And I wish that for everyone is for us to be able to always take pause and know that life is good. We are really in this wonderful space of humanity where we get to have this life and learn and grow and make it what we want.

Jennifer Norman:
And I think that's part of this conversation, too, is that we have the ability to be in control of our thoughts, of our emotions, how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about others. And making the active choice to choose to take on new thoughts, to take on new states of mind, new paradigms, and new ways of looking things is completely within our capability. We have the power to do so. We don't have to always feel like, we are slavishly responding to those texts or what somebody else said or what you saw on social media. Like, those things are not important. And they distract you from being able to take those quiet moments for your yourself and really sit with your own being and knowing what you want for your life, what your intention is, setting out that vision and then moving with clarity towards it. And interestingly enough, there are some other distractions that get in the way of your daily life. And I wanted to talk with Amy about this now because I find it so fascinating.

Jennifer Norman:
For me, it was so eye opening, but it's about what we are consuming, not just from a visual perspective, not just from what's happening, but actual nutrition. What we are putting into our bodies is going to impact the way that we can love ourselves, and it is also an indication of the way that we are loving ourselves. Amy, can you tell us a little bit more about this whole space of nutrition and what it has to do exactly with self love?

Amy Ballantyne:
Oh, thank you. Thank you. It is a big piece of the puzzle, but we rarely talk about it. So I'm glad that. That you're bringing this forward today. You in. Just like we make choices around other things in our life, we are making choices about what we're putting in our mouth and on our skin. The drinking, the, you know, are we having water or other options? The cells in our body.

Amy Ballantyne:
You know, I love how the beautiful statement you just shared about your realization about the miraculousness of our human body and when we break it down without going too sciency here, the human cells require many different things, and a lot of it are specific nutrients for the cells to be vibrant and healthy and for all of the systems in our body to work effectively and productively. And I know everyone's probably heard this analogy a million times, but I'm going to say it again. We don't expect our car to drive an hour with zero gas in the tank, but yet we push and push and push and push our bodies on little fuel, right? The fuels, the food and the drink, the water. We push our bodies expecting that all will be well. It should be working. We say things like, well, our body should just. It should be fine. I'll be fine.

Amy Ballantyne:
I don't need to eat. I hear and this is challenging the vehicle. I want you to really think about the vehicle that you have outside. If you're blessed to have a vehicle that you own or whatever, that we don't expect the vehicle to run without oil or without a battery or without gas or. Right, like with.

Jennifer Norman:
Without the tires or without electricity if you're a vehicle driver. Yeah, well, like, we don't expect that.

Amy Ballantyne:
But we have this expectation of this body, and I do believe that part of it is because it was something that was given to us. Our body was given to us, and we didn't have to earn it from the get go. Right. We didn't have to work from the get go, and so it doesn't have as much value as the things that we've had to work hard for. Now, ask somebody who's lost a whole bunch of weight, or ask somebody who's run ultra marathons. Do they have to work for it? You bet.

Jennifer Norman:
Right.

Amy Ballantyne:
But because we were given this gift, many take for granted that piece of the puzzle. And so we're also taking for granted that, unfortunately, we're getting everything that we need from our food. And I'm speaking very much in general terms for this next part, very much because there are lots of people who are doing amazing at their nutrition. Okay? So I'm not talking to those people, but for many, we are having blind faith in the food industry that we are getting everything we need, but yet we're consuming an abundance of packaged and processed foods. And we're, again, blindly having faith that those packaged, processed foods contain what we need and contain only what we need, which is not the case. Right? More every day we hear of new chemicals and things that have been added to our food for years are not good for us. This is our blind faith that all is well. And so really, if we want to get back to really showing ourselves of our body, some love, showing ourselves, trying to enunciate there between cells and ourselves, the love is really aiming for more bright, colorful food more often.

Amy Ballantyne:
If that was the one thing that people focused on, that they took as the 2024 action was to have more brightly colored food on their plate, more of the day, more days of the week, more weeks of the month, more months of the year, this would make a tremendous difference in their mental health, in their physical health, I would say also in their emotional, but that's part of their mental health. And really looking at as you shift away from consuming the extra sugar, from consuming the abundance of packaged and processed foods to more brightly colored foods, and noticing what is different in your energy, noticing what is different in your skin, noticing what is different in your sleep, in your digestion, in your mental state. So there are some really interesting links around our nutrition and our mental state as well. We're looking at things like vitamin D. Okay, let's talk about vitamin D for a second here. Oh, yes, vitamin D. So vitamin D. Yes, we know we get it from the sun and it converts to the active form of vitamin D through our skin.

Amy Ballantyne:
And I'm really simplifying here, but there are some people who don't make that conversion, which means they're not getting vitamin D from the sun. So that's something to know. The other thing to know is when you are looking to gain vitamin D from the sun, covering your arms with heavy cloth is not conducive to getting the vitamin D. Covering your arms with loads and loads of sunscreen, not conducive to getting vitamin D. So it's that tricky. Like, we need to protect our skin from the sun damage, but we also want vitamin D. So recognizing that if you can, for a brief period of time, depending on where in the world you live, you are out in the sun without sunscreen for a brief, brief period of time. I am all pro sunscreen for the rest of the time.

Amy Ballantyne:
Okay. But we want to have that intentional, mindful moment in the sun without the sunscreen so that the cells in our skin can absorb that vitamin D. And then note, this is really quite interesting. It takes 24 to 48 hours for that process of the vitamin D in the skin to change into the active form of vitamin D that we actually need. And if you're going scrubbing to away on your arms within that period of time, guess what? You are now inhibiting that process. So on days where you're being mindful of, okay, I'm actually focused on getting vitamin D being pits and bits. I heard somebody say once, I can't give them actual credit for who that was, but I laughed so hard that that's where you're scrubbing on those days, so that you can actually allow the vitamin D to be absorbed and be a useful nutrient. The other thing to recognize is whether you're getting vitamin D from the sun or whether you're getting vitamin D from quality supplement.

Amy Ballantyne:
That actually is bioavailable is if we're not taking in fat soluble vitamins, like we're not taking in fat soluble foods at the same time, like avocados, if we're not taking in good, healthy olive oil, if we're not taking in nuts and seeds, these sources of nutrients, the fat soluble vitamin like vitamin D will not be absorbed and used to its fullest extent. We need those things in order for the vitamin D to be useful. So, yes, I'm layering on multiple challenges here, but when we start to put things together. It's recognizing, okay, if I want the vitamin D to help me in my mental health, which vitamin D has been shown to have beautiful results around that? Grassroots health. Grassroots health. I'll send you the link. I'm sure it's grassroots health is a beautiful website on vitamin D. But if you want the vitamin D to be beneficial for you, we get to start consuming more of these nutrients in order for these fat soluble vitamins to be more useful in our body.

Amy Ballantyne:
Things like vitamin C. Oh, my goodness. As you can see, I could talk all day, but vitamin C, if you are in a stressed out state, so let's say your mental health is, you are in a very stressed out state. You've had a death in the family, or you've had a big career change or something happened in your relationship. Big things in life. Have you ever noticed when those big things happen, that people often get sick a couple of weeks later and it's like really sick? Our adrenals require extra vitamin C, especially in times of stress. So I'm not talking about, like, to be boosting immune system. That's a totally other beautiful benefit.

Amy Ballantyne:
But it's when we are in times of stress. If you could support yourself around saying, okay, I'm going to show myself some love and care, not only am I going through this hard thing, but if I'm going to go through it, I'm remembering this message to take in more vitamin D. Vitamin D is water soluble. We use it within four to 6 hours. So guess what? We need to take more at other periods of the day so that later on in the day, we have more vitamin C for our adrenals and for our system. Not just the adrenals that use vitamin C, right? Lots of systems in our body use vitamin C. So it's recognizing. And yes, I'm talking about supplement.

Amy Ballantyne:
I'm talking about nutrients, foods, beautiful, colorful foods all day long, my friends, this is love. Showing those cells love.

Jennifer Norman:
Wow. What information. I heard Deepak Chopra say, remember to eat the colors of the rainbow. And that doesn't mean skittles. It doesn't mean artificial colors of the rainbow, my friends. It means actual natural. Like, go to the grocery store, go to the produce aisle, and get the colors of the rainbow and make sure that those are all on your plate at once. The more beige foods that we're eating, the less nutrients we are receiving that will help to support all of our systems, everything that's going on in our bodies.

Jennifer Norman:
Interestingly enough, for years and years I worked in the sunscreen business and I happen to live in Los Angeles. You would think that I would have enough vitamin D, but no, I was vitamin D deficient because I was slathering on sunscreen. Every time I went outside, the dermatologist would say, not a drop of sun should touch your bodies. And so that was the interesting thing that a lot of people who had been reading Allure magazine and such were believing. And so what happens? I would go to the doctor and he say, you are so deficient in vitamin D and I need to give you a prescription like once a week. You need to take this 50,000 iU of vitamin D to get you back up, back up to where you belong. And I didn't know about all of the fats value, so I think that a lot of people are going to be like, okay, check. I'm going to be a hippie.

Jennifer Norman:
I'm going to go out in the sun naked. I am not going to bathe and exfoliate anything. And I'm just going to eat oranges and get my vitamin C. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. So hopefully you got a little bit more out of this podcast than that, but maybe that's something that we could all use a benefit from. Who knows? I love it.

Amy Ballantyne:
Oh my goodness.

Jennifer Norman:
Well, Amy, it was such a treat to speak with you today. Thank you so much for all of your wisdom. Thank you so much for the work that you're doing to help people pleasers knock themselves out of that habit and getting people more in touch with their own beauty inside and self love. Thank you so much for being on the human beauty movement podcast today.

Amy Ballantyne:
Oh, it's my absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for having me.

Jennifer Norman:
Thank you for listening to the human beauty movement podcast. Be sure to follow, rate, and review us wherever you stream podcasts the human beauty movement is a community based platform that cultivates the beauty of humankind. Check out our workshops, find us on social media, and share our inspiration with all the beautiful humans in your life. Learn more@thehumanbeautymovement.com thank you so much for being a beautiful human.