Episode 40: RJ Jackson - The Courage To Overcome Trauma

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Hello, beautiful humans.
Welcome to another episode of

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Role Models juicy conversations
with beautiful humans.

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I'm Jennifer Norman founder of
the human Beauty movement and

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your host, this podcast thrives
on your support.

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So if you like what you hear,
follow us rate, US review us and

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share this episode with everyone
across your networks.

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So today we're going to talk
about Courage, the courage to

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let go of Of negative thoughts
and limiting beliefs.

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So, you can prosper Beyond, you
are problems.

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My guest today is r.j.
Jackson, also known as the

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courage Giver.
RJ is an international speaker

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and executive coach, a
breakthrough strategist and she

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has lived life to the extremes.
I can't wait for her to tell you

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her story.
So buckle up people and get

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ready to be inspired.
Welcome RJ.

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It is such a pleasure to be
here.

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Thank you so much Jennifer for
having me.

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I'm excited.
I was speaking with your

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audience and learning what it is
that they need to get unstuck.

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Oh yes, I am excited to.
So let us start from the

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beginning because you have quite
a story you said that death sent

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you an invitation on a couple of
occasions, but you overcame, can

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you tell us what happens?
Absolutely, you know, there are

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lots of invitations that we get
in life and we have to decide.

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Do I want this one?
Am I going to accept this one?

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You know, today is not a good
day for this one and every time

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death sent me an invitation
tried to take my life.

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I said today's not a good day
for this one and just totally

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said, no, thank you.
And there were several

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occasions.
One I was on the freeway on my

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way to do real estate and a car
came on the freeway out of

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control literally ended up going
the wrong direction.

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On the freeway hittin me head-on
knocking my car off the freeway

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causing it flip over several
times.

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You would think I would be dead?
But I told death not today, I

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got plans one occasion, there's
been several occasion as I

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shared when I was a child, I
believe this or not, I was

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bitten by a dog, and when I
arrived at the hospital, they

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saw me right away and they said,
one more inch and I would have

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been dead.
But once again.

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No, thank you.
I have plans plans for a future

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and a hope.
And as we say, am I got time for

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that?
There was one more time and this

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time it's actually recorded in
my latest book which will

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probably talk about later a
reposition Journey.

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I'm still standing where I share
my story of being involved in a

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life-threatening car accident,
where in the blink of an eye, my

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life changed and Jennifer.
I can't really tell you the

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story because I don't know it.
I can only tell you what people

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told me because I was literally
knocked out.

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I Unconscious for several hours.
I suffered a brain injury ended

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up in a wheelchair.
Unable to talk unable to walk

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and having to be invent myself
in terms of getting back up and

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you know it doesn't matter how
many times you get knocked down.

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It really is about how many
times you decide to get back up

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and that was one more time where
I said?

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Nope, sorry, that's, I'm getting
back up.

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You can't have me this time
either.

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Well, RJ, you obviously are
meant to be here and not only

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that, you also I have Lupus.
Is that right?

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Well, I'm going to say I was
diagnosed with lupus.

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There's a difference.
Yes, I went through all the

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procedures, the biopsies,
everything I had all the

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symptoms, and I just decided I
didn't have time for that

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either.
It was like, no fun waking up.

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Not realizing where you were,
like, and you were in your own

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house.
I didn't like the feeling and I

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was like, no, something has to
give and I think it's going to

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be you lip lupus.
So just decided.

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No, that's not for me.
Either.

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So went back to the doctor after
all, the testing and the

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biopsies, and they're like, well
we can't find anything I'm like

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I know because I don't have time
for that and so now I don't

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suffer with any of these
symptoms.

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Wow.
So obviously your life is a

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testament to resiliency and
getting up after you've been

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knocked down quite a lot of
times and quite severe occasions

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that you have experienced.
And so from that perspective and

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from All that you have gone
through.

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Now, you help others to gain
their own resiliency and to help

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them get past.
Perhaps not death-defying

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situations perhaps.
So, but in some cases, it could

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be some sort of a trauma, some
sort of a negativity, some sort

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of limiting belief.
And so I'd like to first start

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by asking you, how do you define
a limiting belief?

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And what can people do to truly
get over a limiting belief?

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Well, my definition of limiting
beliefs and I believe that's a

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great question.
So, first of all, thank you for

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Asking my definition of limiting
belief is believing anything

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about yourself.
That is not the truth of who you

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were created to be.
You know, they say, if you

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believe you can, it's true.
You can, if you believe you

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can't.
Well, that's true too.

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You can't.
And so, you risk a 50-50 chance

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of succeeding when you believe
you can, if only you believe you

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can't.
So having that Foundation of

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that belief, that knows that you
were created to prosper, you

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were created to win and not
deterring.

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Matt not going to the left or to
the right, but keeping your eyes

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on the prize is what we say.
When we believe, when we look to

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the left, the limiting belief
comes in, when we look to the,

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right, the limiting belief comes
in and that comes in the form of

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Shame.
Guilt doubt, rejection beer, it

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shows up and it doesn't look
good on us as women.

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I don't think it looks good on
anybody.

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That's it, you're right, yeah.
Now sometimes these Ting

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beliefs.
A lot of people will convince

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themselves that they're not
limiting their actual

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limitations.
They might say I have evidence

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All Around Me from even when I
was a young person that I

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couldn't do this or I couldn't
do that or I wasn't made for

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this.
I wasn't made for that.

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What would you say to those
people who have been trained and

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ingrained to have these limiting
belief?

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You can retrain your brain.
Because in our subconscious was

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with what we live by, that's
what we go.

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I so if we experienced a
traumatic event, which in

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reality, we all have in some
form or fashion, our brain will

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remember that.
And we go into survival mode

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where we won't try to get out of
that because we believe that's

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where we supposed to be.
And the first thing I would say

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to this amazing question, you
can believe it if you want.

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But remember this, you get out
of life, what you put into life.

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So if that's the conversation
you want to have with yourself,

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then you're right, that's
exactly what you're Going to

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get, but you can change your
conversation and you can rewire

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your brain.
It's a matter of positioning

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yourself in the winner seat
because it's empty because

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you're not sitting there and
that's where you belong now.

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Are there specific tools or
techniques that you employ to

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help people get into a more
positive and more resilient

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mindset and there are different
tools.

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And so what I want to First say
to everyone who's listening,

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find the tool, Works for you.
You may try one thing and it may

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not work.
That's not in all.

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Be find the tool and the coach
that works for you with you and

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on your behalf.
So that's the first thing you

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want to do.
Just because the tool is

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available it doesn't mean it's a
tool that you use, right?

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So if you want to unscrew
something, there's a hammer

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there, you don't use the hammer,
you use the tool prepared for

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and measured before that event.
So the tools I use first and

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foremost is we work Jennifer
from Um, the inside out and most

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people live from the outside in.
So we do the reverse, we shift

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your mindset to live your life,
from the inside out because I

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believe everything we need in
order to succeed.

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It's already inside of us.
I don't believe women are

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broken.
I don't believe men are broken.

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I don't believe people are
broken.

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I believe we've had some broken
experiences but they come to

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make us better and not bitter
mode us and Shape us, there are

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opportunities to learn from.
So we start from the inside out

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with the tools that each
individual already has, hmm.

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And what it takes is for us to
recognize that there is this

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potential.
And sometimes it just takes a

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quick unlocking, sometimes not
so quick.

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Let's face it.
Sometimes you have to practice

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at these things.
Sometimes it's lifelong practice

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and journeying.
And that's okay.

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It's all about what you're in
state of improvement is going to

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be, but it takes that courage.
I was curious to you, is there a

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difference between courage and
bravery?

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Beautiful question, I love that
question.

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Thank you for asking.
I believe they go hand-in-hand

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and I believe when we look up
the definition of courage, we

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will find that.
It says courage is being afraid,

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we're going, anyhow.
So sometimes we say courage is

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just running into the face of
fear.

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No, fear.
I don't believe that's true.

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I believe courage is running
into the face of fear afraid,

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and you have to be brave and And
to do that.

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So they complement one another.
It's like an ice cream sundae.

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You have to ice cream and then
you may want some nuts on top or

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a cherry on top.
What courage is the ice cream

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and bravery?
Is that cherry on top?

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It's like that actionable step
that you're going to take

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because you do have the courage.
That's nice.

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So you've written a few books,
one of which is a repositioning

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Journey.
I'm still standing, can you tell

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us about that book?
I can.

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It is my name.
Moire of the resiliency.

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I'm still standing a story of
greatness and I believe we all

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have a story of greatness.
And I also believe that

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everything we've gone through is
to create who we are really

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meant to be, and we each have a
story to tell and that's what I

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did.
I, but my life story into a book

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to remind other people and
particularly women, I say women

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because that's who I'm gifted to
work with, but to remind you,

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you don't have to live.
Where you're dying and you don't

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have to die, where you're living
earlier.

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You said, well, what if they
believe this is how it is, it

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doesn't have to stay that way.
It might be that way, but think

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of life in terms of your future
self, not how it is.

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Because I tell you Jennifer.
What I was in that wheelchair, I

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could have given up all kind of
hope.

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I had been used to running
marathons bowling having fun,

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traveling the world as a,
renowned speaker.

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And now, I couldn't even walk
Look, I could have said, this is

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how it is, but instead I said
this is not how it's going to be

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forever, and I took the steps
and let me help you.

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Those of you who are thinking,
I've been taking the steps and

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it just seemed like I've gotten
nowhere, get it.

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I took the steps of what it
would take to get back on my

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feet, six years in physical
therapy so that I could learn to

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walk again.
But here's the key quitters

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never win and winners.
Never quit.

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Not believe we were born to win.
So I made up in my mind I don't

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care how long is long take, it
is going to happen and I am not

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going to quit and that's what my
story is about reminding.

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People that quitters never win
and winners.

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Never quit.
There's greatness inside of you.

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Get out.
Let's go and do it again,

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amazing.
You've also written another book

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called decisions women face and
make, can you tell us a little

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bit about that book?
So it would be my pleasure.

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Thank you for asking so
decisions with I'm facing make

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is probably one of 12 books that
I actually have out.

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And many of those books are
called anthologies where I

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encourage people to share their
story.

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And so we work together.
There were three of us in this

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particular Anthology.
We work together to tell our

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stories of a decision.
A life decision that we had to

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make that was challenging.
It wasn't difficult, it was

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scary, but we Preston and we
made the decision with courage,

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we tell our story of May.
In that decision, one woman made

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a decision to donate a kidney.
And she shares, her Story.

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Another Woman made a decision to
forgive her parents and she

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shares her story as well.
Everyone has a story and our

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story is created to share to
remind someone else.

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As I said earlier, you don't
have to die where you living

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beautiful.
Now you also host a community,

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that's called The Cure Circle.
What's that about?

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I love my community because I
believe we are created for Our

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community we are created for
connection and unfortunately we

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have sometimes this attitude,
like I don't need anyone, I

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could do this by myself and that
is so far from the truth.

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We need each other to survive.
In the Cure circle is a safe

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space for women to come together
and know that they're not alone.

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It's an opportunity for them to
turn in their shame, their

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guilt, Their Fear, their doubts,
for a designer label.

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Love and acceptance and
gratitude, it's an opportunity

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for them to remember that they
matter and we encourage one

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another, we get underneath each
other and lift each other up and

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remind each other.
We're rooting for you because

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you're a winner and so we wanted
to just say if you want to hang

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out in the Winner's Circle
that's the Cure circle.

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Is it an online community or a
do you have gatherings in person

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as well?
What a great question, it is an

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online community and we actually
do have gatherings in person as

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well monthly.
And we have Gatherings

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virtually.
So we have opportunities to

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gather on a consistent basis
virtually and in person because

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again, that connection is
important and that self-care

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women taken time out from being
the role that they play to being

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who they are, is key for their
survival, for their thriving and

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for their success.
Beautiful.

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Now, I have some statements that
I would love for you to finish

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the sentences on Tell me RJ
beauty is beauty is From the

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Inside Out.
Amen, on that you are speaking

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my language.
Girl, it's great to be human

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because we have feelings and
emotions that animals do not to

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share and give to one another.
The thing I love most about me

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is I am authentically me.
No apology needed, most fun.

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When I am serving other people
beautiful.

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The world needs more of
Jennifer's in the world.

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Oh gosh ones enough of that.
But thank you.

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And we we are at our best when
we a true to who we are.

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That is so true.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is

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r.j.
Jackson the Courage Giver.

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I'll put all of her information
in the show notes so that you

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can find her definitely pick up
her books.

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Definitely take a look at the
Cure Circle so that you can see

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if this is a community.
That's right for you to build

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support and connection gets
together with like-minded women

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and see about dating some more
courage in your life to get to

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that next level of your
potential RJ.

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Thank you so much for being a
role model.

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It's been a pleasure.
Thank you for Paving the way.