Episode 40: RJ Jackson - The Courage To Overcome Trauma

0:07 Hello, beautiful humans. Welcome to another episode of Role Models juicy conversations with beautiful humans. I'm Jennifer Norman founder of the human Beauty movement and your host, this podcast thrives on your support. So if you like what you hear, follow us rate, US review us and share this episode with everyone across your networks. So today we're going to talk about Courage, the courage to let go of Of negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. So, you can prosper Beyond, you are problems. My guest today is r.j. Jackson, also known as the courage Giver. RJ is an international speaker and executive coach, a breakthrough strategist and she has lived life to the extremes. I can't wait for her to tell you her story. So buckle up people and get ready to be inspired. Welcome RJ.

0:54 It is such a pleasure to be here. Thank you so much Jennifer for having me. I'm excited. I was speaking with your audience and learning what it is that they need to get unstuck. Oh yes, I am excited to. So let us start from the beginning because you have quite a story you said that death sent you an invitation on a couple of occasions, but you overcame, can you tell us what happens? Absolutely, you know, there are lots of invitations that we get in life and we have to decide. Do I want this one? Am I going to accept this one? You know, today is not a good day for this one and every time death sent me an invitation tried to take my life. I said today's not a good day for this one and just totally said, no, thank you. And there were several occasions. One I was on the freeway on my way to do real estate and a car came on the freeway out of control literally ended up going the wrong direction.

1:50 On the freeway hittin me head-on knocking my car off the freeway causing it flip over several times. You would think I would be dead? But I told death not today, I got plans one occasion, there's been several occasion as I shared when I was a child, I believe this or not, I was bitten by a dog, and when I arrived at the hospital, they saw me right away and they said, one more inch and I would have been dead. But once again. No, thank you. I have plans plans for a future and a hope. And as we say, am I got time for that? There was one more time and this time it's actually recorded in my latest book which will probably talk about later a reposition Journey.

2:36 I'm still standing where I share my story of being involved in a life-threatening car accident, where in the blink of an eye, my life changed and Jennifer. I can't really tell you the story because I don't know it. I can only tell you what people told me because I was literally knocked out. I Unconscious for several hours. I suffered a brain injury ended up in a wheelchair. Unable to talk unable to walk and having to be invent myself in terms of getting back up and you know it doesn't matter how many times you get knocked down. It really is about how many times you decide to get back up and that was one more time where I said? Nope, sorry, that's, I'm getting back up.

3:18 You can't have me this time either. Well, RJ, you obviously are meant to be here and not only that, you also I have Lupus. Is that right? Well, I'm going to say I was diagnosed with lupus. There's a difference. Yes, I went through all the procedures, the biopsies, everything I had all the symptoms, and I just decided I didn't have time for that either. It was like, no fun waking up. Not realizing where you were, like, and you were in your own house. I didn't like the feeling and I was like, no, something has to give and I think it's going to be you lip lupus. So just decided. No, that's not for me. Either. So went back to the doctor after all, the testing and the biopsies, and they're like, well we can't find anything I'm like I know because I don't have time for that and so now I don't suffer with any of these symptoms.

4:09 Wow. So obviously your life is a testament to resiliency and getting up after you've been knocked down quite a lot of times and quite severe occasions that you have experienced. And so from that perspective and from All that you have gone through. Now, you help others to gain their own resiliency and to help them get past. Perhaps not death-defying situations perhaps. So, but in some cases, it could be some sort of a trauma, some sort of a negativity, some sort of limiting belief. And so I'd like to first start by asking you, how do you define a limiting belief? And what can people do to truly get over a limiting belief?

4:49 Well, my definition of limiting beliefs and I believe that's a great question. So, first of all, thank you for Asking my definition of limiting belief is believing anything about yourself. That is not the truth of who you were created to be. You know, they say, if you believe you can, it's true. You can, if you believe you can't. Well, that's true too. You can't. And so, you risk a 50-50 chance of succeeding when you believe you can, if only you believe you can't. So having that Foundation of that belief, that knows that you were created to prosper, you were created to win and not deterring. Matt not going to the left or to the right, but keeping your eyes on the prize is what we say. When we believe, when we look to the left, the limiting belief comes in, when we look to the, right, the limiting belief comes in and that comes in the form of Shame. Guilt doubt, rejection beer, it shows up and it doesn't look good on us as women.

5:47 I don't think it looks good on anybody. That's it, you're right, yeah. Now sometimes these Ting beliefs. A lot of people will convince themselves that they're not limiting their actual limitations. They might say I have evidence All Around Me from even when I was a young person that I couldn't do this or I couldn't do that or I wasn't made for this. I wasn't made for that. What would you say to those people who have been trained and ingrained to have these limiting belief? You can retrain your brain. Because in our subconscious was with what we live by, that's what we go. I so if we experienced a traumatic event, which in reality, we all have in some form or fashion, our brain will remember that. And we go into survival mode where we won't try to get out of that because we believe that's where we supposed to be. And the first thing I would say to this amazing question, you can believe it if you want.

6:45 But remember this, you get out of life, what you put into life. So if that's the conversation you want to have with yourself, then you're right, that's exactly what you're Going to get, but you can change your conversation and you can rewire your brain. It's a matter of positioning yourself in the winner seat because it's empty because you're not sitting there and that's where you belong now. Are there specific tools or techniques that you employ to help people get into a more positive and more resilient mindset and there are different tools. And so what I want to First say to everyone who's listening, find the tool, Works for you. You may try one thing and it may not work. That's not in all.

7:29 Be find the tool and the coach that works for you with you and on your behalf. So that's the first thing you want to do. Just because the tool is available it doesn't mean it's a tool that you use, right? So if you want to unscrew something, there's a hammer there, you don't use the hammer, you use the tool prepared for and measured before that event. So the tools I use first and foremost is we work Jennifer from Um, the inside out and most people live from the outside in. So we do the reverse, we shift your mindset to live your life, from the inside out because I believe everything we need in order to succeed.

8:09 It's already inside of us. I don't believe women are broken. I don't believe men are broken. I don't believe people are broken. I believe we've had some broken experiences but they come to make us better and not bitter mode us and Shape us, there are opportunities to learn from. So we start from the inside out with the tools that each individual already has, hmm. And what it takes is for us to recognize that there is this potential. And sometimes it just takes a quick unlocking, sometimes not so quick. Let's face it. Sometimes you have to practice at these things. Sometimes it's lifelong practice and journeying. And that's okay. It's all about what you're in state of improvement is going to be, but it takes that courage. I was curious to you, is there a difference between courage and bravery?

8:59 Beautiful question, I love that question. Thank you for asking. I believe they go hand-in-hand and I believe when we look up the definition of courage, we will find that. It says courage is being afraid, we're going, anyhow. So sometimes we say courage is just running into the face of fear. No, fear. I don't believe that's true. I believe courage is running into the face of fear afraid, and you have to be brave and And to do that. So they complement one another. It's like an ice cream sundae. You have to ice cream and then you may want some nuts on top or a cherry on top. What courage is the ice cream and bravery? Is that cherry on top?

9:40 It's like that actionable step that you're going to take because you do have the courage. That's nice. So you've written a few books, one of which is a repositioning Journey. I'm still standing, can you tell us about that book? I can. It is my name. Moire of the resiliency. I'm still standing a story of greatness and I believe we all have a story of greatness. And I also believe that everything we've gone through is to create who we are really meant to be, and we each have a story to tell and that's what I did. I, but my life story into a book to remind other people and particularly women, I say women because that's who I'm gifted to work with, but to remind you, you don't have to live. Where you're dying and you don't have to die, where you're living earlier.

10:29 You said, well, what if they believe this is how it is, it doesn't have to stay that way. It might be that way, but think of life in terms of your future self, not how it is. Because I tell you Jennifer. What I was in that wheelchair, I could have given up all kind of hope. I had been used to running marathons bowling having fun, traveling the world as a, renowned speaker. And now, I couldn't even walk Look, I could have said, this is how it is, but instead I said this is not how it's going to be forever, and I took the steps and let me help you. Those of you who are thinking, I've been taking the steps and it just seemed like I've gotten nowhere, get it.

11:11 I took the steps of what it would take to get back on my feet, six years in physical therapy so that I could learn to walk again. But here's the key quitters never win and winners. Never quit. Not believe we were born to win. So I made up in my mind I don't care how long is long take, it is going to happen and I am not going to quit and that's what my story is about reminding. People that quitters never win and winners. Never quit. There's greatness inside of you. Get out. Let's go and do it again, amazing. You've also written another book called decisions women face and make, can you tell us a little bit about that book? So it would be my pleasure.

11:52 Thank you for asking so decisions with I'm facing make is probably one of 12 books that I actually have out. And many of those books are called anthologies where I encourage people to share their story. And so we work together. There were three of us in this particular Anthology. We work together to tell our stories of a decision. A life decision that we had to make that was challenging. It wasn't difficult, it was scary, but we Preston and we made the decision with courage, we tell our story of May. In that decision, one woman made a decision to donate a kidney. And she shares, her Story. Another Woman made a decision to forgive her parents and she shares her story as well. Everyone has a story and our story is created to share to remind someone else.

12:42 As I said earlier, you don't have to die where you living beautiful. Now you also host a community, that's called The Cure Circle. What's that about? I love my community because I believe we are created for Our community we are created for connection and unfortunately we have sometimes this attitude, like I don't need anyone, I could do this by myself and that is so far from the truth. We need each other to survive. In the Cure circle is a safe space for women to come together and know that they're not alone. It's an opportunity for them to turn in their shame, their guilt, Their Fear, their doubts, for a designer label.

13:25 Love and acceptance and gratitude, it's an opportunity for them to remember that they matter and we encourage one another, we get underneath each other and lift each other up and remind each other. We're rooting for you because you're a winner and so we wanted to just say if you want to hang out in the Winner's Circle that's the Cure circle. Is it an online community or a do you have gatherings in person as well? What a great question, it is an online community and we actually do have gatherings in person as well monthly. And we have Gatherings virtually. So we have opportunities to gather on a consistent basis virtually and in person because again, that connection is important and that self-care women taken time out from being the role that they play to being who they are, is key for their survival, for their thriving and for their success. Beautiful.

14:18 Now, I have some statements that I would love for you to finish the sentences on Tell me RJ beauty is beauty is From the Inside Out. Amen, on that you are speaking my language. Girl, it's great to be human because we have feelings and emotions that animals do not to share and give to one another. The thing I love most about me is I am authentically me. No apology needed, most fun.

15:00 When I am serving other people beautiful. The world needs more of Jennifer's in the world. Oh gosh ones enough of that. But thank you. And we we are at our best when we a true to who we are. That is so true. Ladies and gentlemen, this is r.j. Jackson the Courage Giver. I'll put all of her information in the show notes so that you can find her definitely pick up her books. Definitely take a look at the Cure Circle so that you can see if this is a community. That's right for you to build support and connection gets together with like-minded women and see about dating some more courage in your life to get to that next level of your potential RJ.

15:46 Thank you so much for being a role model. It's been a pleasure. Thank you for Paving the way.