Episode 3: Dani Candray @alopeachia - Nothing to Hide

0:07 Hello, beautiful humans. Thank you so much for coming back to another episode of role models. And I am thrilled to introduce you to a special guest today. Her name is Danny can try otherwise known as alopecia on Instagram. Hello, hello. Danny. It's so great to have you. Now I have been so enamored by Danny's story. Because she has been such an admirable advocate for the diagnosis of alopecia. And so I would love for Danny to be able to tell her story on when she was diagnosed and how it was like growing up and what she's doing now. So, it's Andy, I'm going to turn it over to you. Okay, hi everyone. So I have alopecia areata, alopecia means hair loss but the iata part is, what makes it autoimmune. So what it is, is I have an autoimmune disease that causes my hair to fall out and I've had it since I was two years old and growing up.

1:00 It was incredibly difficult because I didn't understand it. I didn't know anyone who had it and, you know, being so young. It's crazy. Having your hair fall. I had a had a full head of hair and then soon after it, just fell out and then I started wearing wigs. So, I wore wigs for over a decade and I really struggled with my alopecia, just did not want to share it with people. I hid I hid it from the world, any time it was brought up, I got very emotional. Bend in 2013, I went to an LP shh conference. My mom forced me to go. I was So, against it at the time, I was only like 14 years old that she forced me to go to this alopecia conference hosted by Naf, which stands for National, alopecia areata foundation. And it was an incredible experience, because imagine a hotel filled with LPG, ins bunch of bald people. I felt like at home, I ended up meeting one of my closest friends to this day at that event. And she was actually the one who encouraged me to go out that day.

1:55 Like, at the conference without my wig. We did like a walk and advocacy walk. With like, the whole group for the conference. And so she was like, oh, like I'm not gonna wear my wig, and so, I just decided, okay, I'm not going to wear my either and that's what started all that moment because that year, before sophomore year started, I took my yearbook photo without my wig. It was that was just, I remember just feeling so scared, but I was really proud that I did that and that's what really kick-started it. Yeah, and soon after for senior year at this point, I was already involved with knife like we were hosting dog. Her game events, you know, like just like group stuff so I could hang out with other alopecia hands and on Instagram, of course. But senior year, I got my makeup done by a very popular, like IG famous makeup artist for prom and the video that she took was for Alopecia advocacy and that video blew up, it went viral and that's when I had a platform I suddenly gained, like 10,000 followers in a couple of days.

2:57 Yeah, it was insane and I was like 17 years old. I like those not expecting it, so like blow up like that. But that's what kind of started my platform and I realized I can do something with this. I can be the change, I want to see and that's what happened. I love that story so much because it shows when a little bit of Courage, it's just that moment of boldness. Here, you are getting ready to celebrate your prom, you have your makeup done. And that is the Catalyst, and it's because people see you and sell Alright, you being you and not being afraid and hiding behind a wig as you were saying before, really, you just being your authentic self and look how explosive that has that for sure. And I mean, during that time, I was still wearing a wig mind you, but I was just slowly during this point. Like, in high school, I was just slowly getting used to talking about Keisha and seeing like what I could do with it and a few years after that, in 2018 like a couple years after that, I saw a casting an open casting for this summer. Company, they're looking for models and at this point, besides like, learning to accept my alopecia, I was learning to accept my body, you know, was like weight fluctuations and that type stuff.

4:08 So my goal that year, my New Year's resolution was to accept my body. The way it was, you know, and take care of myself. That was my goal. So, when I saw this casting early, in the year, I wanted to do it even though I had no modeling experience. I wanted to go to my mom, drove me. And there was a lot of girls there and I saw them. They, you could tell that they were like established model. Al's. So I didn't really think I had a chance of my file, but this is a cool experience, like it was nice, being around all these like fun girls with like bathing suits, got to talk to the designer. And I didn't really think much of them with this was fun, but I probably won't get it because they were only picking like nine girls. But then I got an email saying that I got it and that they wanted me to be part of the shoot. So that was my first modeling experience that I had done and soon after it just it kind of just was a domino effect of started doing a couple more Modeling jobs and then I got signed with natural models, amazing. Well, I want to go back because both times you had mentioned, your mom and either she kind of nudged you to go to the conference and she was supportive of you going to this casting.

5:15 I mean it sounds like she has really been sort of the Wind Beneath Your Wings. And a lot of this is that right? Yeah. For sure like. I mean she forced me to go to the conference. I did not want to go. I remember like being a brat like a teenage Brad about it. Like I don't want to go and like They have like a kids club there and I want to go to the kids club. I just want to stay with you Mom, and that she forced me to go. I remember, being really upset about it, but I'm happy that she did that and with the casting, it was really funny because we were both there at the caste and she saw the other models there. And she's like, you're probably not going to get honestly, because there's a lot of girls, I feel like, there's like, 300 or 400 people at that casting. So, Know what I mean?

6:00 She was just trying to, like I guess, be realistic with me, but overall, she's always been supportive. She she wants me to do well and succeed. And yeah, well, so you said that like from an early age you were wearing wigs like when did you start actually wearing wigs? Oh my God I started wearing wigs in kindergarten really. I was recently going through my mom's photos that she has and she was like this huge bucket just with stacks of photos and I found My photo from first day of kindergarten, and I had my hair like natural hair, curly black hair, really thick like half up half down, it looks super cute, but then I found the picture of my last day of kindergarten and I was wearing a little little Bob wig. Interesting.

6:45 Yeah. So yeah, that's when I started wearing the wig and then I stopped wearing wigs in 2018, August 27th. That's my ball. Diverse jury. That did you gravitate towards a certain Style? Flags while you had them. Yes, I love the bangs. The just like super stick bangs though. Yeah, I always wear wigs. But the thing is that like, I love wigs. Don't get me wrong. I think they're beautiful. And it's a fun way to accessorize and change your look. But it got to the point where I was dependent on them. Like I felt like I needed this wig and I just didn't like that. I realized I was using it as like a Band-Aid, but I had become too.

7:29 Pendant on it and honestly since I've stopped wearing my wig, I've never felt more free and there's no going back. Like I'll wear a wig maybe for a few hours but I'm at the end of the day I'm just going to snatch it off. Like I don't I don't want to wear wigs anymore and I love that. You mentioned that because I think that's an important thing for our listeners and our viewers because it's a very individual thing. They can bring so much joy and pleasure and it's almost like fashion. You can change your look and it cannot reading. But when you realize that you're utilizing something and it could Anything. It could be makeup, it could be, it could be a wig. It could be, you know, brand names, whatever it is if you're using it as something that is to conceal or to hide your true self, if there's an insecurity about kind of what you're feeling without it, then it's interesting that you got to the place where you recognize that and it was probably at that conference where you realized, OK, there is this Reliance in this dependency. I felt either ashamed or embarrassed without it, but now it's liberating.

8:28 It's something where I don't I don't need it. I can use it if I want to it's but, you know, I'm not dependent upon it anymore. It's not something that I'm using in order to pretend that, you know, I'm something else or that I, you know, that I'm trying to relay something else then you know other than confidence and love for myself. No, absolutely but no I wore the wig years after that conference because that conference wasn't that 2013 and I still I was okay with talking about alopecia but I was still weird about it. Like I still wanted to wear my wigs, but I mean, I'm here, like it took a while, but I felt when I tell people there's people who who asked me like, how did you stop wearing your wig?

9:09 I want to, I get messages on Instagram and honestly, I think it's just about being patient with yourself. You can't rush it. So many people would tell me how weak for you, no one cares, but it's not about that, you know, like it's everyone has their own Journey with alopecia and it happens to anyone at it can happen to anyone at any age and, you know, you can't just rush that type of stuff like I were weeks for over a decade before I I stopped wearing them. Well, that's incredible. This reminds me of when I was younger there, you know, in my teens or 20s, I did some little modeling, but it was always, you know, small little tiny things, very local things and I because I'm only 52 because I'm Asian and normal weight, you know? And so, to be a petite model that wants to make it anywhere big at that time of life.

9:53 You had to be real thin, you had to just starve yourself and I remember them telling me, okay? You need to drop 15 In pounds. And at the time, I was 103 pounds. You know, they wanted me like, 80 something pounds in order to even qualify. And so I went through this period of eating disorders. And so, you know, hearing things like that and thinking that, that's what I have to live up to, in order to achieve what I would consider. You know, I considered a goal at that particular time was not healthy. It was mentally exhausting and it was something that in hindsight it took me a while but I it's like I recognize this Is not what beauty is about, like real true. Beauty means you love yourself and you accept yourself and you Embrace everything about yourself inside out, outside in and you are on a journey and if you want to love yourself and you're satisfied yourself, but you're eager for improvements and you're eager for more.

10:47 That's the best place to be. So it doesn't mean just sit still and eat junk food, all day. It means, you know that? Yeah, I love myself but I'm on a journey of wellness and well-being and and my mental health and my sanity and my love for Health in every given moment is important along the way and look what happened to you. It's like you go to this casting. You don't think that you have a chance, but there was something about you. The fact that you were so authentically you and how you showed up with your beautiful body, with all your curves, with your bright smile, with this energy, that just exudes joy. And I imagine that that probably showed through all of the insecurities of those other people that were probably there wishing and hoping Hoping that they looked or felt like somebody else, and I can imagine that. That's why the world is starting to change a lot of companies and brands are starting to recognize this is worth celebrating, right?

11:42 This? Absolutely, yeah. So tell us what you're up to now, what does it say in the life of Danny can try to look like, oh my gosh, right now I'm I started personal training so that's what I've been really like focused on and I also work besides modeling I work at a gym so I work with kids at the gym, just fun. Yeah. Like I'll usually just do my casting videos just stuff like that. That's fantastic. So tell me what, it's like to personal train. I mean I have been trained before and I get into beast mode because I want to try to impress. Yeah.

12:23 At first it was really hard. I like I felt a lot of anxiety going to the gym even though I worked there I worked. At that gym. But my trainer I just recently switched trainers but the trainer had previously she was very much into like holistic like functional training, that was her thing which I really like that was different from all the other trainers. She wasn't trying to promote supplements or anything like that. She was very much like she would talk about like child trauma. Like she was like she was a very interesting trainer but she helped me out a lot. Like very patient with me and help build up my confidence and she left that gym but Since I'm with my new one, he's really cool. And at this point I just feel comfortable. He just helps me with my form and I just feel good at the end of the training session. That's what I want to do.

13:07 I just want to feel good. Did you have any particular role models of your own growing up? Or do you have any now Role Models right now would be some of the models that I follow on Instagram, like within my agency and like, within other agencies I just love seeing them post, you know, just being happy and like living their best life and, you know, just not being ashamed of Themselves. I really love that. What brings you Joy? What do you love doing my guilty pleasure? Right now is acai bowls every time after exercise session. I feel the need to get in our site. That's like my guilty pleasure, but my passion right now. I'm so I feel like I'm still trying to figure it out. But overall like my passion is out fuchsia advocacy and honestly just normalizing alopecia in the media and I honestly encourage girls to show off the alopecia if other girls want to become models like that's fine. Like there's room for all of us like I want to see more girls in commercials and ads that have alopecia. I just want to see it everywhere. Hmm.

14:21 Amazing. Did you have to do you have siblings Brothers? No, I'm an only child. You're an only child is there a history of alopecia in the family from? Generations past, I think my mom had mentioned that my dad may have had it when he was younger, but his hair grew back. And now I think he just like Jesus to be bald. He just shaves it, but I'm not too sure about that. Okay. For the most part, I'm like the only one in my family. It's amazing. Because I remember a long time ago, I used to date only bald guys can go on about my dating life, but, but I remember Mike and it didn't even dawn on me. It was just like something. I gravitated to for whatever reason. And the one of my girlfriend, she was actually a colleague of mine at work and one of the dudes actually came to pick me up and go to lunch and when I came back she goes you like I'm bald and I'm so sorry.

15:13 I do look like bald people. I feel like you're able to appreciate someone's features if they don't have hair, you could see everything. So maybe that's what it was. Yeah. There was, there was something about it. I don't know if it was just like an array. Reverence or something. That was a little. I don't know. I just found it sexy. My aunt has said that before so I can make and sexy, I would love to, you know, the recent situation with Will Smith, Jada, Pinkett Smith. I was just curious about what your take was on that and any positives that you could take away from what had occurred.

15:55 So with that event, I wasn't watching it live. I had seen my I sent the link to our family group chat was like oh my god look what happened and as soon as I heard the joke from him, I cringed and then the camera goes to her reaction and she was kind of like you could tell she was just like annoyed by that and I'm not team. Well, team Chris, I'm in this situation. I'm team Jada and it's because I can relate to it completely even though I'm at a point where I'm, I'm fine with my alopecia, I accept it, that comment. It would not comment, wouldn't bother me now. But looking back at hot, like my journey that I went through, that comment would have probably made me cry to be honest with you. So I could see it in her face and I felt that there was a, I felt like a nauseous feeling and I had actually posted on my Instagram, cuz I have a lot of allocations at all of me. Hey, did anyone else feel like sick to their stomach when they saw the video?

16:53 And so many majority said, yes. And it was the comment was just unnecessary. And I just feel like When it comes to jokes and last, he had spoken to her before the events. In, hey, I'm gonna say this joke or, you know, something like that. Give her a heads up, ask her for permission. It shouldn't have been said, I don't think someone's medical condition, should be brought up as a joke. Yeah, yeah. I think if you know, the Silver Lining could be said about it. It's it has brought so much awareness and the and the realization of the wrongness of what has been done and I think that it will help to inform a lot. Of Comedians and a lot of individuals in the future who may think that it's just a casual, you know, flip and statement that should be taken lightly, but depending on where that person is in your journey to your point.

17:41 And granted, it's very difficult to know how how confident people are in their Journey. Perhaps Chris thought that Jada was at the place for example, where you are in your journey, because she's been so open about her advocacy and about her own story. But even that said, it's interesting to shine a light, It on the fact that. Yeah, it's a medical condition. It really helps to define a line and start that conversation and continue the conversation to inform behaviors and statements in the future. Hopefully, that's the good side of it, right? Everyone has their own boundaries and I saw a lot of comments saying it's just a joke. Like, wow, she can't take a joke or and I just, I don't know. I just don't agree with that. I just don't think that type of stuff should be joked about whatsoever.

18:26 And last person is okay with it. For example, I Send means to my friends that are like bald jokes. Like, you know what I mean? Like, and people will send me bald memes, and I think they're funny, like, I'm at that place, but back up was not at that place, and it would have really bothered. It would have broken me honestly. Yeah, yeah. And I think that that's a really valuable takeaway if we can appreciate other people and, and understand. And listen, you know, I'm here for you, rather than poking, unless you allow it yourself, you're like, okay, I'm going to send this name because I think it's hilarious and Other person recognized yes, you know, you're in the same place then, okay, you're vibing the same. Then it, then it becomes.

19:06 All right, interesting. So I learned a new word today, alopecia and it sounds like a fascinating word. I want to join this Cloud species. Like I like the Avatar movies and I love that word. It's so cool. When you're part of a community, tell me what it's like. How has it continued and furthered your advocacy? I love it, I love the Alpena Community. I love being able to talk to them at any time I've hung out with some, it's just crazy how our stories aligned like we all experience different upbringings live in different cities different states but at the end of the day we pretty much experience have like a universal experience with alopecia so that's very comforting and I just love that. Yeah yeah.

19:57 It's just nice being able to keep In touch with the different people and I discovered that Community when I was 14 15 years old, I just looked at the hashtag, alopecia outpatient girl. I'll patient model you know just trying to find not community and I found it and I've met with alopecia who was from Sweden and she came to California to hang out to visit for vacation and I hung out with her one of the days, one from Australia, you know? Like it's just crazy how we're like able to connect. Yeah. Everybody can connect the matter who you are, what territory or from? It's so exciting. Yeah, really makes the world a lot smaller and friendlier. Hmm, tell me what it's like when you went on your first modeling job.

20:43 It was exciting. I didn't really know what to expect. I had shown up like, super early. I think I showed up like we, like 30 or 40 minutes early. So I was just sitting there for a while and it was just interesting, like, The Stylist. They have to, like, lint brush you. And then the like steam, you really quick and they're constantly like, Having like I wasn't I wasn't used to that and like something with like the makeup artist, it was just a really cool experience. Remember who it was for? It was for DSW Shoe Company. Yeah, so it was fun and then the photos that they use, that was used further like online email ads, they send out. So my co-workers from the job I had at the time, I worked in an office, they had shown me like this just popped up in my emails.

21:25 Like is this you Mike This is exciting. Now also you were talking about being a curvy girl and, you know, also embracing that aspect of your of your embodiments, it hasn't been positive as far as like, going to castings and doing work. And, you know, feeling that you're okay with showing off your curves, showing off your skin. Yeah. It's honestly, I know that's not the case for everyone. But so far in my modeling Journey I've only experienced like Activity. When it comes to like my body. For the most part, the clothes always fit and I think I've only encountered a couple of times where the clothes will you know, fit a little off but usually if it's too big, they'll pin you and if it's too small, those just give you something else.

22:11 So it's never really been a big deal but yeah, it's just been it's been really fun. Definitely seems like a turning point when you were able to come to the realization that this is me and I love me, you know, do you have any positivity type exercises that you practice everyday? Day. I've been trying to get into the habit of journaling writing down, you know, like I guess like affirmations. But anytime my lately, what I've been trying to do, if I feel like anxious or nervous about something, I just have to tell myself like you're a bad, bitch, you're a bad girl, you know what I mean? Like, I literally have to like, tell myself, like, you're awesome. Like, even if I don't feel it at that moment, I just have to like, you know what I mean?

22:52 Like, hype myself up on the inside, otherwise, I'll be really sad, you know, and down and feel like I can't do it. I can't go. My day. So sometimes I have to do that. I have to tell myself, like you can do this. You got this, you're amazing. So that's about it. But I would ideally like to get into the habit of like, you know, consistently journaling or even like, meditating. So many people have told me I should start meditating and I just, I don't know. I haven't haven't been able to get into it, it's definitely something that is a practice, you know, just like in life, it's like, you know, it's easy to just sit there and let your mind wander and then you have to recognize. Oh my goodness, I'm not meditating. Is that what I'm going to make for dinner tonight, or something like that? And so, yeah, coming back, is it definitely takes it, takes practice.

23:38 It takes time. I vouched for it as well. I think it's an extremely useful, practice get into to really dive even further into knowing who you are and to be able to have more control of things during the day. How about music? Do you have like a playlist that you have some favorite artists, or some lately? I've been obsessed with the Hamilton. Watch Hamilton. I went to see it when it came to LA, and I have watched it on Disney plus as well. But yes, it brilliant, brilliant. I'm obsessed with the, I think I listened to it like, everyday, but besides that, when I'm not listening to that, I mean in general, I love musical. So I'll always be listening to hairspray Phantom and waitress. I just love musicals, but usually I listen to like Queen Bee Gees Earth winning Fire about like, I like my older cousin.

24:34 Hairspray is one of my all-time favorites. I think I have probably watched that one. A hundred at least a hundred times that I just love music, amazing. You know what it was when you were talking about getting yourself motivated and say I'm a bad bitch like sometimes if I'm going out for my morning run I have to think about the Eminem song, lose yourself or something like that that's like yeah I can beat my time. Yourself pumped up. Well Danny, thank you so much for spending time with us today. You are a role model and I am so excited to see you continue your journey, thank you so much for having me and I invite everyone to take a look at Danny on Instagram. Her handle is alopecia and we'll see you next time. Thanks very much.

25:21 Hi, thank you.