Episode 21: Karey Spransy - Rising Into Resilience After Trauma

0:07 Hello, beautiful humans. Welcome to role models. JC conversations with beautiful humans. I'm Jennifer Norman founder of the human Beauty movement and your host. It's my honor to serve up inspiration in the form of this podcast. So if you like, what you hear, hit that subscribe button, I appreciate it. Today's episode is such an important one. It's all about the resilience that we can have. Have and how we can use the crappy things that happen to us as fuel to propel us to our dreams. And my guests, sure knows a thing or two about facing all kinds of ugly and finding extraordinary beauty in it. All this lovely woman. Before me is carries franzi carries experiences as a single teen mother losing two, loved ones to Suicide going through two divorces, and battling stage 4 colon cancer, taught her, how to use these setbacks as Ward's and turn failure into fuel.

1:03 Wow, welcome Carrie. Thank you Jennifer. I'm so happy to be here. You know, every time I hear my bio, I still am like Whoa man. That is a lot. That's a yeah, right? Yeah. That is a lot for one person to go through in a lifetime for sure. Now, gosh, first of all, I am so glad that you are here. You are alive and kicking and thriving. You are now a trauma-informed, resilience coach. So gosh, tell us about Your journey from there to here. Yeah. Well thank you. I'm really happy to be here on your podcast and just here on the planet in general, after everything that you just read through. But yeah, you know, my journey be honest.

1:44 Some of the things that you rattled off their that I've been through, is my own doing, right? And some of it isn't. Yeah. You know, I grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah, in Mormon households in a very religious household where, like, most organized, religion sex, For marriage is just not something that's done but my high school boyfriend was super hot and you know my parents were just like you don't have sex before marriage because God said so and at 17, I was like, hmm. I don't know that. That doesn't really work for me. Plus this is all kind of fun and feels real good what we're doing and then you know pregnant? Yeah so not that I was naive and didn't like realize that sex is how you get pregnant but I don't know.

2:29 I guess maybe I I thought I could beat the odds or something or it wasn't going to happen to me because I had bigger dreams. I have bigger plans for myself. This wasn't going to be the thing that derails it and yeah, but lo and behold we got pregnant. So you know that was sort of like the first thing that kind of set me back on my heels to be like, oh man, this life and consequences for actions is a real thing. And one decision, one little thing can really make your life. Take a 90-degree turn, you know, and bye. We were 17. Yes, we were in love. He was my first love all of this. We have this beautiful son together, but, you know, we just, we really weren't compatible. And if I'm totally honest, I knew that from the get-go. But again, it's 17.

3:12 You think I can change them? I can make it work. If I just love them enough, it'll be okay. And, and it wasn't, okay, so by the time I was 21 and my son was turning 30. I found myself, divorced a single mom, his dad went off and kind of lived his life for a while and my son and I were Left to figure it out. And I think that for me was sort of. Also the first time that I realized, like, okay it's time to, you know, put my big girl pants on and make the most of this situation that I have, frankly in this instance created for myself, right? Like, I mean, I had an active part in my life being here what it is. And so that whole single motherhood and working full-time and putting myself through college and dealing with the dad, come In and out, and sometimes being there, and sometimes not, then sometimes paying in sometimes not.

4:05 And all of that kind of stuff, really taught me how to be creative, how to stick to a budget, how to trust myself, it really kind of taught me this about what was important to me, and what was important to me was spending quality time with my son being upfront and honest with him. Yeah, being my word that was really important and that part of my life. Really taught me that fast forward. 10 years later. ER, I get married again to a wonderful man. We have a really great life But as time goes on and I do a lot of inner work and he doesn't really do a lot of inner work. I start to get itchy. I start to get like, mmm Restless I need something more.

4:46 So infidelity happens on my part I'll be honest and because I was too afraid to speak out what was really happening. I was too afraid to just say, hey, I'm done, you know, I think some of that is Because it's so ingrained in Us in society and in the place that I come from and religion and things like that, that like marriage is forever, you make it work. If it doesn't work out, it's a failure. But what I've come to realize now, is that marriage is really this only institution that somehow has gotten entangled and in meshed with religion? And it's also, the only sort of human-to-human relationship that doesn't come with sort of free contracts of like what will happen should our A ship dissolve, right? Like if we're in a business together, it's totally acceptable that we might say, hey, we have different views. We have different goals with this business and I think it's no longer working.

5:41 It's time for us to part ways. And then we have rules and guidelines about how to do that and we can part, but somehow with marriage that's like not allowed, or it's frowned upon, if that happens. Now, I don't mean to say that what I did was okay, I actually I'll get to this later but I actually did go back to my ex and Rejoice for all the pain and hurt that I had caused him. He didn't deserve it. I asked his forgiveness. We made amends, right? He deserved more from me and frankly, I deserved more for myself to handle that situation, better that situation did teach me, you know, to be brave to speak. My word to honor and love the other person like I had promised, but a maybe I didn't really quite know what that meant. I certainly learned in this experience and so that, yeah, that was another interesting turning point for me to really kind of think about, Out, what do I want out of life knacks, and who am I as a person?

6:33 And what do I have to give to others? Then I lost my uncle to Suicide, which just made me so sad that someone I loved, didn't know how much they were loved and how much worth and value they had to those of us around. Yeah. And at the end of my divorce with my second husband, is when I got diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and it was a one month before my 41st birthday and that Just crazy. You know, I remember being that young mom that I talked about and thinking man, you know, I have so much time. 40 years old seems so far away like ancient, I'll be a grandma by the time I'm 40 which actually in 46 and I am a grandma but like you know in your 20s.

7:15 You just think that 40 is ancient. It's just light years away. And now here I am a month before my 41st birthday and I'm diagnosed with this in the doctors say, we don't know if you'll survive and I'm just like what? What you got to be kidding me. I've so much more to do. I have so much more to give? I have. So, I have so much more life. I don't want to go right now. I'm not ready to go right now and that experience, right? Then and there was the Catalyst for me to just say, like, all the things that you've been dreaming about doing all the things that you have been holding back on or too scared to do, don't waste any more time because in an instant, it can change.

7:58 So it taught me compassion, Action for others. It taught me. Forgiveness, I went and cleaned up my side of the street absolutely everywhere. Because I did not want to exit this world. Having someone in my speech year, one not know what they meant to me and to have anything left. Unsaid any apologies like holding onto Pride holding on to grudges, just for what I might not be here in a week and I want you to know that I loved you. You and that, you know what you meant to me, and I want you to know that I am. Sorry for anything that I have done, and, you know, I want us to leave feeling like we were really blessed to be a part of one another's lives, that experience all of those experiences just really powerful for me, in terms of stages of learning to figure out who I am and who I want to be in the world and gained The Bravery and the courage to show up as that.

8:55 And I think, without all of those experiences, I actually don't even know who I was. Today without those. And I think that's the biggest thing that I try to coach my clients on, as you said in the beginning, in my bio turning, you know, their setbacks into spring boards and really looking at the really hard unfair. Crappy stuff that's happened to us in life as the building blocks and the tools and the lessons that we need to. Give us the superpowers to go after our dreams, whatever those dreams might be, right. They helped us find our voice, they helped us get back to Center for, they helped us gain. Passion. They help us understand what forgiveness is they teach us to be brave, you know? And listen, I get it when you're in the midst of it when I was in the midst of colon cancer there were days where I was like you are not telling me anything about so it all happens for a reason and be in the present moment, right? Like there were times when I was just like don't even come in my face with all of that stuff.

9:52 He's because I was so deep in it. Yeah. But then the very next day I might be like, you know what, the present moment this is. We have, you know, so it's an ebb and a flow. And I think that's the other thing that I really try to instill in my clients is that life is a ride, it is an ebb and flow, and we can, and have the ability and the capacity to feel all of the emotions and you can be crying one second, and laughing. The next neither, diminishes, the other. And it doesn't mean that what you're going through isn't hard or that. It isn't serious. And it also doesn't mean that life isn't beautiful and wonderful and funny and ridiculous. All the At the same time because I think it is all happening. All at the same time, that's so true. Well, thank you so much for walking us through all that has occurred.

10:39 And I can see that with the accumulation of all of those things and the recognition that, you know, these things and rather than saying things happen for a reason because it sounds like a platitude that a lot of people are just like, okay. Don't come at me, bro, with that kind of stuff, right? Exactly. Like you said because when you're in it it's hard to hear it when you're in it and you're Feeling that way. Sometimes you just need to take those moments. It's almost like the body breathing though, the Mind breathing. So give yourself permission to feel all those fields. And then once you are at a place where you can, perhaps think more clearly or think about what's next, then it's like assigning meaning to what that event was because events are neutral. As we know it's how you react to them and what your responses can be, you can let them bury you, you can perceive them as a curse, you can do.

11:29 All of those things or you can choose otherwise, you can choose to say, see the blessing at. You can see the positive side, you can see that. This is a thing that is going to give me my superpower. This is the thing that I am going to overcome. Come, What May and it's going to move me forward and I'm going to be better for it. Yeah, 100 percent. I mean I 100% believe that things that happen to us are neutral. I think you kind of hit it on the head there that so often we fall into this. Year, or this feeling that I deserved it in some way that I've done something to bring this upon myself. And yeah, like I said in the beginning, you know, actions, do have consequences, right?

12:09 I mean, I was fooling around and I get pregnant, right? Like, I was fooling around and I get divorced. So actions, do have consequences, but that doesn't mean that we deserved it. If that makes sense. That for me, I think there's a difference between this idea that like, I deserve to be sad, I deserve to have. Life be hard, I deserve to never get a break because I've done XYZ and we can start to take that idea of. We deserve these challenges and then start to make it mean something about our personal worth. I deserve these challenges, because I'm a bad person because I'm not worthy of happiness, because Joy is not meant for me, and that I think is completely false.

12:55 I 100% believe that. That is not true. We are all worthy of joining. We love and he's and life happens, life does happen. And like you said, I think so often. It's what we make those experiences and the things that happen to us mean about life, about who we are as a person about who Society is, who God is, we just assign so much meaning to it. That can either cause us to move through what's happening in our life, with Grace, and ease or get stuck down in the depths of it, in the bottom of The pit never to see the light again. Yeah, I'm not as familiar with Mormon and the Church of Latter-day Saints. I did grow up actually in the Roman Catholic religion, which has its own sense of guilt and shame, and self-doubt and martyrdom, certainly, perhaps there are parallels there. But yes, I think that there was almost this feeling of penance like, oh, you know, you yourself pregnant, then you deserve to suffer or this is what you asked for, or this is the result in the causation, and what happened. And so, The martyrdom.

14:00 It's the all of those things that happen as a result, you know, from a mental and emotional standpoint because of the beliefs and with the religion and stills in you from, you know, how Doctrine is created. And yeah, I have actually elevated out of that sentiment as well and recognized for my own self. And I think it has been probably one of the reasons why a lot of people have moved more into spirituality rather than into these, you know indoctrinated religions is Because of the freedom and the understanding that the belief that life is not about suffering. Life is about pure positive. Joy, pure positive energy and for us to contribute, but there would not be life. If there weren't these instances of challenge, you know, there has to be death in order for there to be new life. There has to be seasons of change. There has to be all of this in order for us to learn and shape and strengthen and grow from.

14:56 And so accepting that as a part of life, And recognizing. Yes, some people get it more than others for sure. For sure. But isn't that wonderful that you can handle it? You know that you have what it takes to overcome and it's no feeling of ill will or shame. If somebody does have cancer and they do succumb, that that is also something that is written in the stars. It's something that is very difficult for us to assign meaning to for sure, and sometimes there just aren't those answers. For a lot of people who are going through The Grieving and the suffering of suicide in the families and and things like that, sometimes it's just very hard to come to reason with we at we know that and that's what we're here for. We're all here to support each other and learn and be that support that we need when we are trying to figure things out for ourselves, 100% 100%, you know during that battle with colon cancers, when my son's father took his own life and you know, it was just kind of one of those things, where is it? Up into one month after a surgery, where the doctors told me, we don't know that if you'll survive. So my son and I put together, my will we planned all of this and then a month later.

16:08 Hear, he and I are sitting at the funeral of his father completely unexpected. And I remember sitting there in the funeral like looking at the casket and thinking it was standing room only. And I remember thinking how heartbreaking it was that he didn't know, all of these people. How much he Has loved and cared for. And since that time there are days when my son and and even I like would he's very present for me when he feels like he's right there and songs that he used to play, for me back in 1994. When he first got together, we'll come on the radio. And I haven't heard that song in years and it's just like those types of things that are so strange. And then sometimes my son will say something or make a joke and I'm like, wow, that is just so much like your dad. And so you know to your point with these things of people that you know, don't beat the cancer battle, you know, don't go get to go into remission or they have Circ. They lose someone to Suicide like we have I think going back to this idea that we are full human beings who have the capacity to feel all the things it's okay for you to be sad, some days, and to really miss them, and to question, and to wonder what's happened, why that all took place and then the very next moment Moment or the next day or the next week to be laughing and remembering stories about them and celebrating their life and being joyful, that they were in your life that you were blessed.

17:41 Had the experience, you were able to experience them. I think, you know, finding the Rhythm and the ebb and flow of being comfortable. Experiencing those two opposites, I think is really where the Curiosity and the fascination with life. It is for me that surfing the wave that balance between like feeling all the things and experiencing all the things that life has to offer. Because like you said, you know, we sit and often dream about like, oh I can only wait until things, get easier and smooth sailing, I graduate my son grows up. I get x, y, z job. I find XYZ partner, you know, this list of things that, as soon as then, right?

18:28 But it never really. He works out that way and we like myself, like I told him my story earlier when things are smooth sailing and really easy. And there's not much drama, we tend to get like Ichi and then make drama because we need. I think a little bit of that friction that edge where we grow, where we feel uncomfortable. We need to push a little bit where we don't know where things are scary and where we try something it doesn't work out so we try Nothing else like that, that space. That's where life happens. Yeah, that's where life is really is. Yeah, we were meant to growl.

19:08 We were meant to move on and I know a lot of people who have lost loved ones recently, probably more. So now than in the past due to covid, or what have you and, and there's been a lot of, you know, strange things happening with overdosing. And just, you know, just people like going to numbing behaviors in order to try to cope and the ones that are left sometimes Feel numb, they sometimes feel guilty for moving on in their lives and celebrating and, you know, feeling good and they carry that with them. Like, what would you say to people that, like, knowing that you have been through all of this resilience and that you're helping other people in their supporting and getting past these hard times, if they're still holding on to those feelings of grief or feeling that they just aren't worthy of more? What would you say to them?

19:59 Well, the People that feel like that have guilt about enjoying life and moving on I would say what I would tell my son because he was in that position in the early days after losing his father is that talk to him talk to your dad, tell him how you're feeling. I explain. Hey Dad I'm feeling really sad and really guilty about wanting to move on because I feel like if I do then it means that somehow I've forgotten you or I'm not honoring your loss and the The more that he verbalized, how he was feeling either in his journal, or speaking it out envisioning, his father being there, the more he could sort of soften that grasp on that the more he could hear those words within himself and start to release a little bit of that guilt and open up to see like yeah, that's not what this person would actually want me to go on. I feel their presence.

20:56 I get the sense that they're hearing me. I'm You better like I can actually still kind of talk with them and commune with them a little bit and they're more able to kind of work through that and give themselves permission to move on and still hold a light, a memory, a love a space for these people. Just by moving on doesn't mean that you have to completely shut them out and never think of them again and you know, not have them be a part of your lonely life. It's figuring out how can we incorporate them and their memory and their feeling into To your life. So you can move on full still cherishing, who they were in your life and for those people who feel like they aren't worthy, I would just start to ask questions. You know, why do you feel that way? Where do you think that idea comes from more often than not? It comes from a religious background, whether it be Roman Catholic, or Mormon, or something like that. There has been some statement made over and over in their youth.

21:59 About your sinner. You have to prove your worth. You have to prove that you're trustworthy rather than being just worthy from the get-go. And so I would just start to question that get curious. Why do I feel this way? Where do I think that this idea this thought that I'm not worthy as coming from? Did someone say that to me? Where is this coming from? And once you can start to unpack it a little bit and look at it from different angles and ask those kinds of questions. Ian's and see what comes up, see what your thoughts are. See if you can kind of trace it back, then, you can start to repair those relationships and or tell yourself a different narrative and look for proof and signs that support that different narrative that you are worthy of your goals and dreams. And you always have been from the very start. Mmm, beautiful.

22:50 And I think that that is really great information. It's hard for people to inculcate in to live by because The grief is so dramatic and that has such a hold on people. It could be a loss of a child. It could be, you know, a loss of a very dear loved one and they just can't get past it. And so like, do you have any more practical examples of like if you are really in it and just like it almost seems like the end, what can somebody do like? Is there something that somebody can practically do to get at least to that little tiny crack of light? That little tiny ray of light that might help? Up to open up something else even more positive. Yeah, you know, it's Jordan Peterson. I believe he's either sociologists or psychologist. He can't exactly remember.

23:38 But he teaches at the University of Toronto, I believe he's kind of a controversial guy, but he wrote this book that basically, the premise of the book is set your sights. Lower. Like you've set your goals way too high. So I think often with grief, we think like, oh we should be over it by now, it's been six months, six years, you know, 12 months 12. Is ages. I should be over it by now and the thing is is like we got to set our expectations lower. So if you are really, really struggling with grief, where you have your struggle just to get out of bed, the smallest tiniest step would be, I'm going to eat at The Breakfast Table and then I can come back to bed, right? And it just take these teeny tiny micro steps. I'm going to get up, and I'm going to make my bed, and if all I do is make my bed today, I'm winning. Right.

24:29 So it starts with these teeny, tiny micro steps to just do one small thing each day. And once that becomes like, okay, I'm getting up and I'm making buying bed. All right. Well, then the next thing is, you maybe I walk to the end of the block, I go outside of the house, right? And you can determine sort of what's best for you. It could be every day, I'm going to write. One thing I'm grateful for about having that person in my life, right? If you're dealing with the loss of someone it Be, you know, if you're dealing with chronic illness or a cancer diagnosis, like I was I would wake up and say okay what is one thing? Just one thing I'm super grateful for today, it starts to train us, rather than instantly, beginning with the sadness, the sorrow in all of the lack, all of the things that are unfair that aren't happening that are hard and heavy to get us started with just one little bit of lightness because yeah, the truth is Is you might have a roof over your head, right?

25:31 Or you might have running clean running water. Might have the sun shining today. You might have you the rest of your family, still around. You wanting to love up on you and support you right. There are still always these good things that are happening so the place to start would be, can I just find one of them no matter how small it is, start there? And once that becomes habit and second nature to wake up and start with looking for that one thing that Can add on from there. Amazing. Now, for you because you have had a series of unfortunate events is that when paraphrasing of the called the Series of Unfortunate Events. Yes.

26:11 What's it after stage for it? Did you have a breakthrough was there an epiphany? Where it's like, oh my gosh you know I have been living this way and now I'm going to turn things around or or was this like a gradual Resurgence for you that you were able to? Even when you had that diagnosis you were able to To maybe face it a little bit differently. I think the answer is yes. And so I think or yes, both answer, that's always the right answer. Yes. And yeah. Yes. Yes, both. And maybe it's both and so I think yes, I sort of had this gradual because it sort of was the series of unfortunate events that each time kind of like built on the skills and the learnings, from the time before that when Sir, came I think I was in a place to handle it. Maybe I don't know if better is the right word, but perhaps more gracefully than had cancer been the first thing that had happened.

27:13 So I think For Better, or For Worse, I had practiced dealing with these types of things before cancer came, but I do have to say that I did also have this Awakening at one point during cancer, during run of my Tation sessions, I got this sense, this download this message, whatever you want to call it, just this overwhelming, feeling that in some other existence, in some sort of space and time, I had asked for a lesson and this was How the Universe chose to serve it to me and perhaps the message. Actually, now that I'm saying this to you every time I tell this story that I D like I get a little bit more inside a little bit more peace and to what it was and right now what's coming up for Is that I feel like it was, you know, the universe saying, hey we keep serving up all this stuff to you and you still are not taking the leap to go and help others find their joy and their worthiness.

28:14 So here's another will, this be the one? Will this be the time that you finally embrace your calling and go help the world. And when I got the green light from cancer saying, like Okay, you're good now. We're going to just now you're in the monitoring phase. For the next five years, we're going to just keep monitoring you and make sure that everything's okay. I thought there's no way I can go back to the job. The sales, rep job that I had before that just seems like to go back to the life I had before seems like such a waste of what I've just been through. So my Dutch boyfriend at the time I said, I'm so I put my job of 15 years.

28:56 I sold everything I owned. I kissed my son. It was all good and like on the up and happy again and back to his old self. And I moved to the Netherlands and started my coaching business because I was like, okay, it Now's the Time because my life can change in an instant, that's what cancer taught me. And I don't know why I'm waiting. I don't know why I'm afraid so that I lay there and say, I Woulda Coulda Shoulda. No, I'm not going to do that anymore and so that you have your coaching practice, can you tell us about what kinds of practice it is and who would be a perfect client for You yeah. So I right now I do one-on-one private coaching in small group coaching and it is for anyone who has been put through the ringer and they're looking to accomplish their big audacious goals, whatever they may be. So I have everyone from people who have just recently left the Mormon church and I'm trying to find out what their identity is again without that, I have people who have gone through divorce.

29:54 I have people looking for new careers, I have people just wanting to be Happier and enjoy the life that they have and feel like they are worthy of the life that they have and let go of some of this baggage. And some of this guilt and shame around what they have or haven't done in their life so that they can actually enjoy the life that they do have. So I coach men and women and we do a discovery session where we just talked about like what is it that you're looking for? Where do you feel stuck or itchy or incomplete in your life and then We make a plan to move. You closer to it. Mmm, beautiful. Beautiful.

30:34 I know that sometimes people feel like they're stuck in that Loop, they are. It's like they could the history repeating themselves. They get, they start attracting the same types of people getting into the same relationships, finding the same calamities and that is a pure Telltale sign that they haven't overcome, what they need to overcome in their life in order to break through and live the life that they really want. Yeah. And you know getting the life that you really want is scary too because it feels like So unfamiliar right? We're so used to that cycle. We're so used to the roller coaster ride going up and down, and the thrill, and the Baha'is, and the lows, and we get comfortable in that even though it's not serving us. And if we're really honest were miserable, but getting off, the ride, can be really scary too because we don't know what's on the other side.

31:18 So part of my coaching and my support is to stand by you to be here. Like I'm off the right and I'm going to walk with you as we navigate with this looks like once you step off and Once you create this whole new life because it's going to be all new and uncomfortable and a little unnerving sometimes as well. So, you know, I just want to be real with people to say, like, you don't change comes with unknowns and that can be unnerving for people. So to have someone by your side who's like I'm right here. I got you is really helpful. Yeah. And as an example, I too am also twice-divorced gone through quite a bit of my own. You know, personal drama / trauma and I Member there was one point in my life where I did feel like I was trapped. I felt like I was trapped in this position where I just wasn't living my whole truth and it wasn't until I felt brave enough to write a message to all of my siblings because there was always this fear like what will my parents think? What will my family say?

32:19 Like it was almost like I was keeping myself small and afraid to have a voice because of the way that I felt like I was supposed to be and I just feel like physically like wrote out this message that said I'm not asking for permission. I'm just letting you know, this is how I intend to be living my life out in the open from now on. And it was like the floodgates just opened. It was just so liberating and that was the block that I needed to get across. It was that family that feeling of shame or that feeling of what are others going to think, of me? If I do this, letting that voice control, what my life was, like, rather than you doing it for me, building me and it was great. Yeah well congratulations.

33:01 I mean it's huge right? And but it was probably scary AF to do that. Yeah. It is, you know, I think sometimes it sounds like for yourself and I know this was true for me, that ultimately I think we get to this point where like we're not doing it is scarier, right? Not doing it is literally killing me. Hmm. So if I do it, what's the worst, right? So that's so amazing. And so happy for you that you were able to clear that block and Open up like that. And I think for others, I've, you know, learned this recently is like, rather than thinking, well, what's the worst that can happen? Because that's keeping you looking back and thinking, of you, the downside, what's the risk? Think about what's the best, second happen. Absolutely.

33:42 What is the upside? Like, what if I actually let this go? What if I could, you know, move to the Netherlands and start a whole brand new life with a whole new bunch of cells? That's me now like I think about all of the amazing things that could be and get excited about the life that you want. So live rather than Being, you know, the worrying and fear. That's all of those negative vibrations that are keeping you small or keeping you where you are and keeping you looping, I call it Purgatory. You know, it's like, you know, break through and figure out what those questions are with a coach, like, carry. That can really help find some answers for you. Yeah, 100%. I couldn't agree more. I think, you know, questions and curiosity is what life is all about? And yeah, I would love to help more people break through their rocks that they can live their truest truth and and live their joy and live the life that they've always been worthy of having absolutely.

34:37 Well, Carrie, thank you so much for being a role model. Thank you, for sharing your story with us. All of your information is going in the show notes so that people can find you, and I wish you so much happiness and success and abundance in your life. Thank you very much for being with us today. So, it is my pleasure. Thank you so much and I wish the same right back at you. Thanks so much. Jennifer.