From Foster Care to Musical Innovator with Candyce Denise

Jennifer Norman:
What if music wasn't just something you heard, but something that could pull you through life's darkest nights and light the path forward? My guest today knows that power firsthand. Candyce Denise is a musical force of nature, an artist who fuses classical and jazz with rap and R & B. Playing glissando notes on her clarinet in ways most people have never imagined. She's multi instrumental, weaving cello, violin and piano piano into her pieces and has performed everywhere from fashion shows to comedy stages with shout outs from legends like Busta Rhymes. But Candyce's story isn't just about music. It's about resilience. From surviving abortion and suicide attempts to growing up in foster care and overcoming unthinkable odds, she's transformed pain into artistry, service, and light. She's a Marine Corps veteran of a martial artist and the great, great niece of the original Lone Ranger, Bass Reeves.

Jennifer Norman:
Through it all, she stayed true to her belief that music heals where words and medicine can't. In today's conversation, you'll hear how Candyce channels her journey into songs like her upcoming single villain and how she's breaking barriers as a clarinetist in spaces not built for her instrument. And how she's using her story to inspire foster youth and at risk risk communities to believe they are more than their struggles. So if you've ever wondered how art can alchemize hardship into hope or how to find strength in your scars, you're going to want to stay right here now from her car with some real fun things to show us. Welcome to the show. Candyce. How are you doing today?

Candyce Denise:
Hi, Jennifer. I'm so amazing. And yes, I do have some fun things. So typically you never want to be caught in a car doing Zoom or anything related. But like, I am just in this part of life where everything that I'm doing and everything that is, like, happening for me, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm sharing all of my wins.

Jennifer Norman:
So right on the spot.

Candyce Denise:
I made a declaration years ago that I was going to become adept at all of my gifts. That's not just music, not just being technical. And so I started drawing again. And I love abstract art. And so I'm proud to share. My abstract art is now on cardstock covers, it's on T shirts, it's on hoodies and everything. But this art, it has affirmations embedded in it. Like, I am successful, I'm healed, I'm loved.

Candyce Denise:
It's got like, just different little elements of, of release and what I call divine protection. And I was Just really. Because they came in and I'm like, you know what? I'm just going to share, because hopefully me sharing will, like, make everyone else excited and happy, and it's just sharing the light, that's all.

Jennifer Norman:
Oh, girlfriend. Well, you are speaking my language. Because art is so healing. Being able to release it in creative ways and getting it out is a way to express and to let go. So congratulations on all that. That is so exciting. And, yes, this is a gal on the move, figuratively and literally. So we're gonna start with Candyce.

Jennifer Norman:
All right, so I've given the intro about your music and about your background. Can you tell us what it was like growing up and how you had discovered these gifts that you are now presenting to the world?

Candyce Denise:
Oh, definitely. I remember chaos. A lot of chaos. I didn't really know that my music was considered a gift because I've been doing it since before I could walk. So it's always been second nature for me. Like how you breathe or you blink or your heart beats automatically. That's how I feel. Music is intertwined into my soul and my essence and everything.

Candyce Denise:
But I remember growing up, it was not. There was not a lot of joy in the house. And even as an adult, I realized that maybe we had big Christmases because of people doing illegal things to me and my aunt as children. And so I'm being led to believe that my family members were paid and compensated in exchange and access to us. So, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jennifer Norman:
So your part of your story is being in foster care. How long were you in the system?

Candyce Denise:
My whole life. I aged out. I was born into foster care, and I graduated high school. Aged out of the foster care system.

Jennifer Norman:
What was your experience, aside from some of those travesties that you were just saying? I mean, was it all like that, or did you have any moments where you felt, like, blessed by. By the foster people who were taking care of you, or how was it. How many families were you with?

Candyce Denise:
So it was mostly, like, relative care. I don't remember. When I was younger, I know that I was, like, born into foster care because my mom was a minor when she had me. And so I do know that there was some push and pull with foster parents that wanted to separate us and everything. And I ended up living with my grandmother, and then I ended up living back with my mom, but then we were taken, and then I ended up living with other relatives and then other relatives. So it's like I did a lot of bouncing back and forth, and I was grateful to be away from the chaos, however, it seemed like I was removed from one traumatic environment and placed in another traumatic environment. So it's just like every location, chaos ensued. So I had moments of happiness, but for the most part it was always some form of abuse.

Jennifer Norman:
Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear that. And a lot of stories don't end up as happy as what you're presenting today. I mean, you seem like you're so full of light and Jo. And it could be very well be the other way around where the chaos and the trauma sets in and really starts to define who you are. How were you able to release that and rise above it and change with music?

Candyce Denise:
I feel like whenever divine protection has wrapped itself around me, it has instilled music. For some reason I always feel safe. It's like I'm in this little ball, like a golden ball of music. And that's what kept me. Music was my best friend. When I'm feeling sad, I just listen to music. Even though it's like just music that's from my keyboard or something like that. That's what saved me.

Candyce Denise:
And, and I've always had this like this all knowing feeling in my chest, I guess that I'm better. Like I'm better than everything that I've ever gone through. And so because I've always held on to this like little piece of light or this piece of positivity, I feel like that has given me something to just like propel forward in life with and to just know that I'm not my trauma and I don't have to be. Like, I learned that I didn't have to become all the things that I was subjected to. I just, I tried my best to stay that course. Now I'm not saying I'm innocent and like, I'm not saying that, oh, things just happen to me and like I'm a victim. No, I do understand. I also was quite the fireball.

Candyce Denise:
However, I was also always crying out for help. So I feel like, yes, I know that I was probably not the well behaved kid that everyone wanted me to be. However, there was just so much happening that I was just trying to regulate, make sense of life, just live really.

Jennifer Norman:
Exactly. I feel like when you're a child, and it's so fascinating, the whole thing about child psychology and what we go through and then how that does impact us going forward. And you use the word regulate, which I think is such a beautiful word because a lot of us didn't really have that kind of language when we were growing up. Probably a couple generations older than you are. So I'm thinking like, oh, if. If anybody just said, okay, he's trying to regulate his emotions rather than, oh, my God, he's just acting a fool and he's crazy, and he's just like, he needs to go and just, like, sit in a corner and get a timeout someplace thinking, like, let the kid express their emotions. Let them feel the feels. And then, whew.

Jennifer Norman:
That's a way for them to come back and be like, okay, I'm ready now. I'm able to, like, be in the presence and focus. Yeah, that's really impactful that you're able to look at that from that kind of perspective. And what a blessing it. That you had your music and that you were able to continue even as a young child and going forward all through your life to have that. Did you start with clarinet? Was that your first. Was that your first instruments or. Tell me what your, what your musical career has been like.

Candyce Denise:
Before I get into that, I do want to say all the signs of me needing help were there. They were there before I was born, because my story just didn't start with me. It began with my mom, who was 12 when she had me. So every sign symptom, inkling under the sun was there. I needed help. The thing that I believe, and I'm always open to be proven wrong or talked to, guided in a different light than what I'm speaking. I always showed the signs. No one wanted to.

Candyce Denise:
No one wanted to step up and put in the work and do what they needed to remove me from the situations. And when I was removed from the situations, no one wanted to put in that extra effort to maybe get me screened for autism or ADHD or all these other neurodivergent mental health problems. That's just how I feel. And people can say otherwise, but given the trajectory of what happened in my life and where I'm at now, yeah, something higher up protected me and let me keep my clarity and sanity enough to have capacity to leave. And my music is there. That leads me into. When I first started playing music, I didn't know that I loved music. I think that because of autism signs and symptoms, I think I just gravitated to it because it was something that stimulated me.

Candyce Denise:
Like, I would always copy. They call it, like, echolalia, where you're imitating sounds and everything. And it just so happened at 2 years old, I'm sitting there playing on a little toy xylophone. Like, how do I even remember that detail? A little toy xylophone with penguins. And I'm doing the Wheel of Fortune, the 'do do do', and the Jeopardy. Those are the two songs that I learned how to play before I could even really understand what was happening in life. So I started off with toys, pretend instruments. And then I got a piano, like a little demo keyboard, like a Fisher Price type deal.

Candyce Denise:
And I taught myself how to play the demo songs from the colors, like, matching the colors. And then as I got older, I had access to, like, different other, like, different pianos. And so I would just be in my own world. In fifth grade, I saw a viola. I thought it was a violin, but I didn't care because I'm like, I want to learn how to play that. And so in sixth grade, I started on violin, and then I switched over to bass. And then seventh grade, I went back to violin. It didn't work for me.

Candyce Denise:
So I'm like, I just played the cello. I never touched a cello in my life, though. After that, I just. I stuck with the cello. So it was orchestra all the way up until halfway through my sophomore year where I just somehow decided, you know what? I want to be in band. And I taught myself how to play the clarinet. I started from last chair, and I challenged for first chair, and I got first chair. And then I held first chair in pretty much all the ensembles except the highest ensemble.

Candyce Denise:
My best friend was first chair, and I'm so happy for her for that because, like, she saved my life a lot of times. And so I just. I don't know, it's just, like, over. Over time, I just sort of incorporated all of the arts. Like, I would be part of the drum line, even though I don't technically play the drums. But it's like, I would learn how to play the drums there. I did some dance, some color guard, and, like, I just immersed myself in all things creativity. And that's what has brought me here.

Candyce Denise:
Like, I served as a clarinet player for the 1st Marine Division band and technically, I wasn't even supposed to pass that audition because I hadn't been playing my instrument for long enough. Like, you have to have a prerequisite before you do an audition. And I did not meet that prerequisite. But the talent and the will to be trainable and coachable superseded that. And so I auditioned on, like, all my instruments, and they're like, oh, yep, you're trainable.

Jennifer Norman:
Amazing. Amazing.

Candyce Denise:
I don't even really comprehend this journey of mine just yet. I just. I just feel like I'm living in the moment I'm being present. I'm just doing my best to uplift others with my art, and it's taking me here. I mean, I'm with you. I'm sharing my story and.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah, for sure, for sure. Now, you mentioned not being tested for autism or ADHD early on. Have you since been tested or diagnosed?

Candyce Denise:
No, I don't need to because I've already figured out how to nurture myself. Like you have to after you grow up, having to mold yourself into different Personas and everything, you sort of already know how to take care of yourself. So I don't need a diagnosis. I don't need any of that. I'm taken care of.

Jennifer Norman:
Got it. Got it. And so you went into the Marines, and that seems almost very opposite of the idea of creativity and looseness and freedom. Tell me about that decision.

Candyce Denise:
So I just knew that if I stayed to go to college, because what happened is, is that I could have went to virtually any college in the state of Indiana since I graduated with a certain GPA. And then, like, I guess when you're like an income, like, I don't know how to explain it, but, like, when you don't make enough money or like when you grow up and you age out of foster care or something, I just know that I received a scholarship to go to college. And rather than go to college because I felt that my grant money would be stolen from me, like, I just felt like I'd be taken advantage of. I joined the Marine Corps and I didn't say anything, and I left. That allowed me a safe space to grow up, to connect with myself, to find myself, to maybe make some mistakes on my own, but still be safe. And it's through the military about that. Yeah, well, because of what I went through, I feel like I sort of put myself in a bubble, and I thought that I was holding on to my past. And so I got married just to sort of allow myself to experience.

Candyce Denise:
Experienced this. But what I thought was love actually was not love. Come to find out, six weeks into my pregnancy and like, my new marriage, my husband gets locked up because he was doing things to people's children. And so it's like, that's the biggest mistake you could ever make. But I never realized I didn't know any of his red flags. I didn't know that I was singled out specifically. I didn't know that it was all, like a plan for him, like, very meticulously orchestrated. And because I had already gone through so much what I was supposed to have been seeing as red flags.

Candyce Denise:
I just chopped it up to, okay. Like, we argue. Okay, yeah, things are happening. But, okay. I'm young, but it wasn't until he got sent to prison that everything just sort of like, wow, okay, that was a mistake.

Jennifer Norman:
Did you meet in the military or did you meet elsewhere? You did. Okay.

Candyce Denise:
But I look at it like the universe put me in a space to where I could close the loops for my past. Like, do I stay in this and recycle the trauma and pass it on to my daughter, or do I. Yeah.

Jennifer Norman:
A lot of times we're looking for that. Yeah, that's exactly what happens with these new relationships, is that they seem to reflect that of our childhood and our upbringing, and then they're brought into our lives so that we can make peace with it. And so, yeah, it's a powerful lesson and one that is often filled with a lot of angst for a lot of people in relationships when they real what's going on. Because that's what we attract, and that's what we think is love and affection and. But it's because of how we were nurtured and raised. And so. Wow. But you have a beautiful child.

Candyce Denise:
I do. I actually have two beautiful children.

Jennifer Norman:
You have two beautiful children from it.

Candyce Denise:
Two beautiful children. And I'm so grateful. They have both shown me that I'm capable. I'm more than capable of being a present mom. They get to see. I call it the unhinged side of me. Like, they get all my goofiness. They get all my genuine laughter.

Candyce Denise:
Like, they get the side of me that I will never, never, ever, ever disclose to the world because the world can't handle. The world can't handle my. My true authenticity. They love it. They receive it. We're all in the house being crazy together, and that's all that matters. Like, they're my world.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah. Given your upbringing, how is it. What is your philosophy with your kids? Do you want to be exactly the opposite of the way that you were raised? How do you go about parenting?

Candyce Denise:
So I talk to them like they're regular humans, because they are. I give them choices.

Jennifer Norman:
How old are they?

Candyce Denise:
They're 12 and 9. So they have a say. So. But at the end of the day, what I present to them, it's like no matter what they choose, it's what I already had in store for them anyway. So, like, they get to tell me what they don't like. They get to have their opinions. They know that they can stand up for themselves to other grownups who try to say oh, you're just a kid. They're like, no, I'm not just a kid.

Candyce Denise:
I have a voice, and it matters. And if I need to, I will have my mom right here. Validating me, standing up with me and just all that. Like, I let them. They have their own personalities. Like, I cannot control them. I'm here to guide them and nurture them and raise them different than how I was raised. They're not spoiled brats.

Candyce Denise:
Like, they understand they can't have what they want just because they ask. So, yeah, they're just really good kids. And my daughter, she's an honor student. She's been on honor roll since, like, fourth grade, and she chose that. And my son, he's just like. I can't even really describe them because they remind me of me and what I could have been had I had structure growing up. So.

Jennifer Norman:
Wow. And you're providing that structure. Are you instilling in them a love for music as well? Do they have any instruments that they play?

Candyce Denise:
My daughter plays the flute, and my son sometimes plays drums and piano, and they both sometimes sing. But they're discovering music on their own. So I'm here when they're ready. But I don't want to make them feel like they have to do this just because I'm doing it. No, you do what you do. And when you're ready, if you want to be a musician or anything like here, then I'll take you under my wing. Like, I don't ignore them. I don't impress upon them anything unless they're showing an interest in it.

Candyce Denise:
So my daughter wanted to play flute, and so she's learning how to play flute. And my son, he's his own entity.

Jennifer Norman:
Well, in the past, you have described music as something that heals where words and medicine can't. Would you be able to share a moment when you witnessed your music creating that healing for yourself or for others?

Candyce Denise:
Definitely. So there was a performance that I did at the North Coast Repertory Theater, and I had never played my clarinet there, and I was performing a song, and I just felt an emotion take over me. And I didn't realize what was happening in the moment. But when I was done playing, someone came up to me and they thanked me for my performance, and they said that they used to play the clarinet, but they stopped because someone told them that they shouldn't be playing the clarinet the way that they wanted to. And so that carried on into something like, it affected their self image. But seeing me on stage doing virtually whatever I want with the Clarinet. It, like, validated their inner light. And they thanked me because it's like I was talking to their soul, like, that little person inside of them and saying, hey, I see you.

Candyce Denise:
And I don't know, we just shared a hug, and that was that.

Jennifer Norman:
Oh, that is so beautiful. You've also been really outspoken about being a guidepost for foster youth and at risk communities. What messages would you want those young people to hear from your story and your experiences?

Candyce Denise:
Well, I just want to let them know it doesn't matter what you're going through, and that's not to take away from your experience. And it's not to say that your situation is not important or that it doesn't matter. What it means is that we all have a light inside of us, and no matter what is happening on the outside, we can control what's happening on the inside. Like, we all have something that we hold near and dear to our hearts. And I'm there. I'm you. I have survived foster care, and there are people like you out there that have their right mind, their sanity, their clarity. And they're becoming successful or they're working to become successful.

Candyce Denise:
And I just want to say that they don't have to turn into the drama and the trauma that's around them. All they have to do is just focus on that light and work to be better. Like, choose to be better than anything that you've ever gone through, and you'll be fine. The universe will make sure that you're fine in the ways that you least expect it. And I'm saying that from my own experience, because I thought I had a plan. I thought I had these dreams that I was gonna go like, okay, I'm gonna start here, and I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna do that, and I'm gonna do that. The universe is like, no, this is gonna happen. This is gonna happen.

Candyce Denise:
This is gonna happen, and it's gonna jumble you up, and you realize that you weren't being jumbled up. You were being settled. You were being settled into the next level of your life that will set you up to where you don't have to worry about things in the way that you typically would. I know it probably seems out there, but I'm just speaking from my own experience and my own reality, really. I can't believe that I'm alive. Like, I can't believe that I survived my. Like, I can't believe that I survived. I mean, someone had to fight for my right to be born.

Candyce Denise:
And it's just now, like, dawning on me that there are not that many souls like me like. Like that have clarity, that didn't end up dead or strung out or. I don't even know how to explain it. I just know divine protection. I'm grateful for that. So hopefully that message resonates. And. Sorry it was long winded, but.

Jennifer Norman:
No, not at all. It was so beautiful. And you're right. I think that when you're going through hard times, whether it be in foster care, as a child, as an abuse victim, things like that, I mean, it seems like the worst is the worst and that there is just no hope. And ultimately, if you can muster up the strength to know that you're not alone in it, that there is divine protection, that there is some greater force that is looking out for you and everything will be okay. It will be okay and you will get through it. And you'll be so much more resilient on the other side because of what you have been through. It'll give you this otherworldly strength and wisdom and recognition to be able to see that in other people and reach out and connect with other people, other souls, just as you have, Candyce.

Candyce Denise:
Yes.

Jennifer Norman:
I got you. I see you. Right? Yeah.

Candyce Denise:
And that's what I'm here for. I'm getting the courage to, like, share my story, and it's making other people mad. But I realized I can't keep the peace for my abusers because I don't deserve that. I don't have to.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Candyce Denise:
And I'm successful. Like, that's what matters too. Like, I'm successful.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah. When you have the courage to speak your truth, just as you have. I'm sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to say, because it is so powerful, so many people say, oh, well, what will that person think of me? Or I can't upset this person, or that family member might look down upon me. Or it's like, who the fuck cares? It's like, you gotta do you. And if it is your story, then tell your story. I mean, you can do it where some people remain anonymous to protect their identity and all of that. No one wants to get in that kind of trouble.

Jennifer Norman:
But. But letting yourself and your message be heard rather than bottling it up inside is extremely important. Whether you do it with a therapist, whether you do it with your best friend, whether you do it with a confidant, anybody, or if you choose to go public, into a public space, a public forum like Kansas doing on podcasts, that's completely your choice. There is no right or wrong in that. But it's so much better to be able to release it than to keep it inside and let it fester and just become toxic in your body. And also developing other very important healthy, soothing and coping mechanisms that aren't destructive or addictive. Things that are going to be helpful and productive and nurturing to your soul, such as music, such as going out for a walk in nature and, or meditating or working out or just fulfilling something, making things, becoming a creator, being productive like those things are so great in order for you to alchemize that pain into purpose. And art is a beautiful expression.

Jennifer Norman:
Just as you've got your seat covers there filled with art and affirmations, it's another manifestation of a release of what otherwise would be bottled up inside you. Whether it's writing, art, music, vocalizing, yelling, running, whatever it is, it's like, find your path, find what feels right for you in order to express your emotions and let those things go. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So let's talk about your upcoming single, Villain. What inspired it and how do you feel like it is an expression of your artistry?

Candyce Denise:
Well, it's a declaration. It's saying, I'm going to speak my truth and if it means that I'm alone, then so be it. And that's it. I'm not being quiet anymore, so I'll be the bad guy. I was always bad guy anyway, so I might as well start wearing it. So I really don't care.

Jennifer Norman:
Well, that is amazing, Candyce. How can people find you, find your music and what's next for you?

Candyce Denise:
So right now you guys can go to candycedenise.com that's C A N D Y C E D E N I S E dot com. I have my demos up there or you can find me on social media under the same name. Candyce Denise C A N D Y C E D E N I S E.

Jennifer Norman:
Well, thank you Candyce. Beautiful humans. Candyce Denise. Look her up online, check out her music and you'll be seeing and hearing much more from her. Candyce, thank you so much for being my guest on the Human Beauty Movement podcast. You are a beautiful human.

Candyce Denise:
Thank you for having me, Jennifer. And this was, it was such an honor to be on this podcast and I'm so happy we met.

Jennifer Norman:
Likewise.

Jennifer Norman:
Thank you for listening to The Human Beauty Movement Podcast. Be sure to follow, rate and review us wherever you stream podcasts. The Human Beauty Movement is a community based platform that cultivates the beauty of humankind. Check out our workshops, find us on social media. And share our inspiration with all the beautiful humans in your life. Learn more at thehumanbeautymovement.com. Thank you so much for being a beautiful human.