Why Therapy Doesn't Work for Some Women With Karyn De Mol

Jennifer Norman:
Hello beautiful humans. Welcome to The Human Beauty Movement Podcast, your source for hope, healing, happiness and humanity. My name is Jennifer Norman. I'm the founder of The Human Beauty Movement and your host. This podcast is here to guide you on your journey of self love, empowerment, soul alignment and joy. With each episode, I invite beautiful humans from all corners of the globe to join me for open conversations about their life lessons and the important work that they are doing to help heal humankind. Take a moment now to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss an episode. I'm so glad you're here, joining me for today's show.

Jennifer Norman:
Welcome back to The Human Beauty Movement Podcast, my beautiful Humans. Today we're diving into a topic that so many women can relate to. It's the feeling of invisibility or the pressure of constant judgment. At times we may find ourselves trapped by other people's perceptions or by the expectations that we've internalized. Whether it's our role as mothers, professionals, or just navigating everyday life, many women carry an emotional weight that leaves them feeling stuck, unheard or disconnected from their true selves. Our guest today, Karyn De Mol, is someone who truly understands these struggles and has dedicated her life to helping women break free. Karyn is a powerhouse of knowledge and healing with a toolbox of therapeutic approaches. She's a licensed Creatrix Transformologist, a Certified Practitioner in EFT, a Master Practitioner of NLP and Timeline Therapy, a Hypnotherapist, and a Master Practitioner of Positive Psychology and Emotional Intelligence.

Jennifer Norman:
And if that wasn't enough, she's also a 10 time award winning author. After overcoming life-changing experiences including a personal battle with cancer, Karyn has helped hundreds of women release deep rooted emotions, beliefs and actions that keep them feeling stuck. Today we'll talk about everything from how people-pleasing habits lead us to self sabotage to the emotional and psychological roadblocks that hold us back from living fully. Karyn will share actionable insights that you can apply to break free from anxiety, depression and destructive behaviors while also fostering healthier relationships and self love. By the end of today's conversation, you'll leave feeling empowered with new perspectives on how to reclaim your power and embrace your authentic self. An important note that this podcast is for information and entertainment purposes only. We do not treat, prevent or cure any diseases and we don't offer medical advice. No one is responsible for your health and wellness, but you so do seek the counsel of your licensed medical practitioner, counselor or therapist for your own individual care.

Jennifer Norman:
So now let's get started and welcome Karyn De Mol to the show. Welcome, Karyn. I'm so happy that you're here.

Karyn De Mol:
Thank you so much, Jennifer. I'm very excited to be here. And thank you for the amazing introduction.

Jennifer Norman:
All the way from Sydney, Australia. So exciting. I'm sure that a lot of people are wondering, like, well, Down Under, there must be this thing called Creatrix Transformologist, because I've never heard of it in the United States. Would you be able to explain to those who have never heard of this before, what is a Creatrix Transformologist?

Karyn De Mol:
And yes, it is actually born from Australia. A woman in Australia designed it. But now, because of Zoom, and if someone in America wants to become a Creatrix Transformologist...

Jennifer Norman:
Wow!

Karyn De Mol:
Let me know, and I will actually hook them up with a trainer.

Jennifer Norman:
Thanks!

Karyn De Mol:
So Creatrix Transformology is this amazing process which is designed for women only. It's designed by a woman for women, and it aligns our head, heart, and gut, which is different to a lot of the other modalities out there. As a woman, we need all three aligned, so we need processes that actually do that. And having studied, as you said in my introduction, NLP, timeline therapy, all the energy stuff, which you have mentioned, they are fantastic. I love them. But when I discovered Creatrix, I realized I wanted it for my clients, but even more so, I wanted it for myself. So when I went and actually learned it and discovered the differences of how it transformed things so much quicker for me. And, like, within one session, you would...Whatever that issue was was totally transformed -- completely different -- that I realized it was what women need.

Jennifer Norman:
Wow.

Karyn De Mol:
Now, we're...You've probably heard of a comedian actually, like, he's called Mark Gungor. He's got a YouTube out there. If you go look for him, look for him. He talks about the difference between men's and women's brains. And he talks about men having, like, in their head, like, little boxes for every conversation.

Karyn De Mol:
Their work, their relationships, their family, their kids, and they'll sit there and they'll open up this little box and talk about their work, and then put it back in carefully and make sure nothing's touching them, push it back in before they talk about the next subject. Whereas women's like the superhighway where everything's connected. Our kids are connected to our work, our work's connected to our cooking. Everything's connected. And it's like we can have a conversation with our man, and we'll be 100 miles an hour, and then we'll change subjects. And they're. Huh? What are you talking about? Lost.

Jennifer Norman:
Back at one.

Karyn De Mol:
Exactly. But the thing is, men also have this maddening thing that women can't understand. It's called their Nothing Box. They'll be sitting outside and they'll be just sitting there thinking and doing nothing. And we're going, what are you thinking about? And they go, nothing. And we think, you can't be thinking about nothing. But they actually can. They can actually close everything down and just sit there and think about nothing.

Karyn De Mol:
So that's why men and women need something different. We need processes that align. Talk to our head, heart, gut, who talks to our mind that's so busy and won't be quiet. And also we have hormones. So there's times of the month where we just want to sit on the couch and eat chocolate. And so when we're told to be, do everything in, do something weekly, do something daily. It may not work for us because there's one week a month where we don't have the motivation to do that, but then there's one week a month where we can be multitasking like anybody. And so what we get done in that one week would be two weeks worth of work before. So we just do things in our time.

Karyn De Mol:
We need to work within our body with our emotions, the way our body works, which is different. And we can do things the men's way because we have been for many years. But what it does, it affects our emotions, it affects how we feel about ourselves. We're often told to fake it till we make it right, but that just makes us think we're not good enough because we're sort of putting up this front. And as women, we like community, we like to connect with people so it doesn't quite work for us. And if we continue down that road, that's when the emotions will get altered and squashed down and eventually will be triggered.

Karyn De Mol:
And then we react, and that's when we don't like how we react. We might get all emotional about something, we might overreact to things. So when we can transform that, that's when we can change how we are and how we react to things and how we feel.

Jennifer Norman:
It's fascinating that there's actually a modality that is specifically designed by women for women when it comes to healing and therapeutic services. Because I think that just like many things in life, we don't realize that a lot of the modalities have been designed by men. And so no matter where you turn as a woman, sometimes it feels like we're just not fitting in, or we're just pigeonholing or force fitting our way into like a logical lockstep linear pattern or way of living that doesn't really feel natural to us. And so once you're able to unlock something that really innately feels natural and gets into all of those nooks and crannies of past, present, future, all of the things that women are amalgamating at once. Wow. I can imagine how powerful that is.

Karyn De Mol:
And ultimately coming, when you get the lessons from within, like, as opposed to some things, you know, obviously the therapist is guiding you. It's the same thing. But the answers to solve the problem are coming from within. That's when you'll actually understand it and actually take it on board. I could tell you, Jennifer, that you're the smartest person in the world, you're a great public speake all these things, and you're beautiful, but if you don't believe them, you're just gonna...

Jennifer Norman:
It's so true.

Karyn De Mol:
Whatever. Off a duck's back. Yeah, but when you actually get those lessons from within in a way that transforms how you see that, then you react differently, you feel differently.

Jennifer Norman:
There's so many things about the way that we are socialized where it almost seems like if you do get a compliment, it's like, oh, you deflect. You don't want to seem like you're being stuck up or conceited. Or sometimes it's hard to just say thank you about that compliment or believe in yourself as much. Perhaps it's some level of perfectionism or something in the back of our minds that's saying, well, I aspire to be this and I'm not there. And I just see this large gap, and I'm not there. And then you feel worse about yourself because of the comparison. I think that perhaps it's because we are more socially bonded than men are. And so we look to the outside, perhaps more for cues of how we're supposed to be, rather than really having a good sense of who we are from an early age and then cultivating that.

Jennifer Norman:
Sometimes it takes women a lifetime, and men too, for that matter. But a lot of women just will not really know themselves until later in life and feel stuck and kind of put up with life. And so perhaps it gets them into a place of being disempowered or feeling a bit of the victim or a bit of resentment or just not in complete harmony with themselves or the lives that they've created.

Karyn De Mol:
Yeah, a lot of women have fear of being judged as a block. They have, I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. And powerful women can be in these positions where they're high up in their career and all those sort of things, but they're just deep down inside, that little girl is still saying, I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. I have to do what everyone else says to, have the way everyone else is.

Karyn De Mol:
But how about we do things the way we're designed as women? When we shift that and change that, we can be ourselves and accept ourselves for ourselves, rather than thinking everyone else is looking at us going, oh, they should be doing it this way, they should be doing it that way. Stop being judged. Stop faking it till you make it so that you can overcome imposter syndrome and actually really like yourself for who you are. Yeah, I'm not going to say you're not going to get... things happen in your life because you're going to experience things that pop up, but you have the resilience to deal with it. That's what it actually does for you. It gives you the resilience to tackle things that pop up in your life, because there's always going to. Life does throw curveballs at you. Like, you know, when I got cancer, it threw a curveball at me.

Karyn De Mol:
So it is basically, you have the resilience to actually survive it and actually go through it with strength so that you don't feel like you're faking that strength, but you actually do have that strength within. That's what's changing.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah, there's been a bit of a movement lately. I appreciate that you so much talk about root cause and getting to the core, the meaty middle. The meaty, messy middle. I was listening to Huberman Podcast the other day where they were talking about stress and how we wish that there were more words for 'stress' than there really is. Because you just say, I'm stressed. And it could be for a million different reasons. It could be because of your health. It could be because you've got a presentation at work. It could be because you're about to run a marathon. There could be a million different reasons, but as soon as you say, "Oh, I'm so stressed," it automatically puts you in this mindset of just feeling trapped or debilitated and overwhelmed.

Jennifer Norman:
Yet I think that in many cases, if you're stressed, for example, and you're about to give a presentation to the CEO, taking a bubble bath is not what you really want to do, that's not really the kind of self care you want to get yourself motivated and preparing and building that resilience, building that strength and building up your skills. And so it's not a one size fits all. Once you say, oh, I'm so stressed that it's like, okay, well take time for you. No, there's different things. Right.

Jennifer Norman:
And so knowing what the root cause of your stress is and what's going on becomes important.

Karyn De Mol:
Yes, yes. And stress is also layered.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Karyn De Mol:
Basically, if you were just doing a thing for your boss, but nothing else was going on in your life, well, then you wouldn't be stressed and you could potentially that last thing that's been layered on that causes the stress. You could have 10 things going on and you just lay on that 11th. You've got all your balls up in the air with the 10 things and you get an 11th thing that's like, ah, I can't do anymore.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Karyn De Mol:
So it comes down to not just taking a bubble bath, it's identifying what pushes you to your stress levels and what is it that you sometimes have to just say no to something. Know that if I take on that 11th thing, that's going to put me into a stress situation and I won't be able to do any of the 10 things because I've added this 11th because I'll be so stressed. So it's awareness, it's understanding who you are, what you're capable of, and then putting up boundaries if you have to. And that's something women have problems with. They say no because they're worried about being judged.

Jennifer Norman:
They're worried that, oh, if I do that, then they won't like me or they won't think that I'm effective at what work is. There's so many things that we fill our brains with in terms of boundaries. Everything's connected because everything is connected. I've noticed that when working with you and coming to work with you that your step one is a Blockage Identifier Consultation. A lot of people aren't even aware of what their blocks are. They might have a conversation with you and a lot of things might be revealed. Can you talk us through how you go forth in understanding somebody's blockages?

Karyn De Mol:
The first thing I want to do is connect with them. I want to actually make them feel safe talking to me and just chatting. Because ultimately, if they're working, going to work with me, that we've got to trust each other. That's that first I'm making sure there's a connection that I'm the right person for them to speak to. Otherwise I might refer them to someone else. So that'd be the first step.

Karyn De Mol:
Then the second step is... And you pick that up pretty much on zoom. It's not as good as being face to face, but you can do it by zoom and still connect. Then some series of just asking them questions and listening to their language and what they're saying to then pick up the tiny little things that are coming out of the language that I can hear where there could be issues that's blocking them. Bringing their awareness to it is the biggest thing because we can't make any shifts if we're not aware what's going on. So those sort of things comes up in the language. So I probably speak to them for about an hour then obviously talk about what I can do and if they're interested, basically it's just a matter of having a conversation, making them feel safe.

Karyn De Mol:
And I don't want people to relive traumas because the processes I don't do isn't about reliving trauma. If as a woman, if we talk about our issues over and over and over again and relive the trauma, it's just re-lighting it up in our brain. I don't want to do that. I want to find out 1) yes, they had problems at home growing up, blah, blah. But I don't want them to go in to the trauma. I want them to recognize that it's caused them some of their blocks now. And then once we can do that, then we can go in.

Karyn De Mol:
Actually when we go through the process of clearing those blocks, then we're not reliving them. We're just getting the words that they used to describe how it made them feel. And then we're actually transforming that feeling into something different with their learnings that they get within.

Jennifer Norman:
Wow, that is a really good lesson for a lot of people because I think that in some cases a lot of folks will join support groups if they feel that they need healing or going through a grief or some sort of trauma. And I suppose that there is something cathartic about the bonding within women and to be able to talk through and come in...a lot of people gossip, complaining. It's like, like all of these things that we bond over, maybe the healthiest things. But it has been proven that the more that you start talking about these things, the worse off that you feel because you haven't resolved that, you haven't necessarily released it. Talking about it may re imprint it in your brain and in your body, and you might retrigger yourself every time that you make mention of certain things. I can tell virtually right away if on my podcast I bring somebody on and they're still living that trauma, you can feel it whenever they recommunicate a story. And so I do my best to try to move away from that.

Jennifer Norman:
I really want to focus on the aspects of understanding how to release that pain and pressure and let it go so that you can talk about it. It's like something happened, but you don't have that emotional charge that occurs when faced with it could be a part of your history that turns into and transmutes into something beautiful and makes you who you are. And you recognize that you are stronger because of it. And so that's when you know that you've gotten to a healing place rather than still kind of wallowing in the hurt place.

Karyn De Mol:
And that's why we're looking for: what did that incident make you feel? And when you can get that, then you can get the learnings from that, then it can actually transform how you see that incident. The past is the past. You can't change what's happened. You can only learn from it.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Karyn De Mol:
And when you can learn and actually then transform that into something like something more powerful, maybe helping others or even just being able to live that, get through the other side of it and notice that you have that strength can then allow you to actually move past. And as you said, talk about it. There will be times, even if you have healed from something, occasionally depend on who I'm talking to. I can talk about my past and get deep into it because this grief is always going to be there. Yeah, I had a lot of grief in my life, so that grief sometimes still pops up every now and then. Doesn't mean I haven't healed from it. It just means the company... I mean, I think you take off the company that you're with in your mind, actually feel their feelings as well. So when you're talking about something you're drawing what they're thinking as you're talking, and then you might...

Jennifer Norman:
Get a bit, oh, yeah, that's empathy.

Karyn De Mol:
But there's no reason to have to relive things. And as you said, women, it just depowers them, like, you know, makes them sort of get lost in that past, but not heal from it.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Karyn De Mol:
So when you actually can get the learnings to overcome the way it made you feel, then you feel stronger.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Karyn De Mol:
And it gives you the resilience.

Jennifer Norman:
Oh, for sure. I had heard a quote that suffering, or at least one aspect of suffering, is wishing that the past were any different Because you start perseverating over things and you can't let it go. And then when you are able to make that active choice for yourself, to be free of the pain and the trauma and all of that grief, when you're ready to release it and know that it's okay to be happy, it's okay for you to live your best life. You don't have to torture yourself on anybody else's account. That's helpful.

Jennifer Norman:
So now the word Creatrix I love, because obviously we as women bear children. So we are creators. And the Creatrix. I like that because it almost sounds a bit mystical to me.

Karyn De Mol:
And there is a reason for that as well, because a lot of our traumas may not be ours. They could be passed down through the genes.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah, epigenetics.

Karyn De Mol:
So as women, we give birth, as you said, and those traumas can be passed down through our great great, great, great, great, great great grandparents type thing. So even wanting to understand a trauma or why you react that way, you may never know because it may not actually be yours. It may not be a memory that you have. So that's where the emotion comes in. What do you feel when that happens? And when we actually clear that, we can clear it up through like it's the way the process has been set up is to go through the epigenetics, to actually clear through the genes. And that is one of the extra things that is different about Creatrix to the other modalities. And the fact that it's designed for women and aligns the head, heart and gut. If you keep on looking for a trauma or why you react to something and you just don't know, that's why people may go search and search into clear something, but if it's not, it's not in their body that they can remember, they don't know why it's happened.

Karyn De Mol:
And they're always looking to find the why it happened, then they never will. So that's why you just need to look at why. What do you feel when it happens? What does that make you do? How do you react? And then getting and working on that as opposed to always trying to. You can't always find the root cause.

Jennifer Norman:
And to that point, do you think that a lot of people are just trying to make meaning of what happened? And if there is no why, or maybe it's not a discoverable why, maybe it is something in epigenetic past, you know, passed down from great, great great grandmother, what have you. I've heard from indigenous and black, the African American experience, you know, a lot of people are like, oh, get over it. You know, we're in a different place now. But for some people in certain marginalized populations, it is not easy. That trauma runs a lot deeper and requires a bit more work in order to purge that out of a system. And it's not something that everybody can understand. And not everybody believes in the epigenetics, but it has been proven so. But I do appreciate that there's compassion and there's an understanding that we need to hold space for these things to really properly heal.

Karyn De Mol:
So if a woman feels not good enough and she's never had anything in her life to actually feel that way, but she feels it. When you can get the learnings on that, then that actually transforms how she feels. So she doesn't need to know why she feels not good enough, doesn't need to remember that as a baby she was dropped, or it's basically she feels not good enough. So let's work on not good enough and actually get. Get the learnings. You need to transform good enough to empowered, to feel good enough to whatever comes up for them. And some of the learnings are not these unusual things that you've never heard before, but because it comes from you in this state, when you're in the metaphor, it transforms how you feel like you can do, I don't know, you've probably been told to do affirmations.

Karyn De Mol:
You've probably heard that, and I love affirmations. But if you don't believe it, it's again, like me telling you that you're, you know, amazing. Telling yourself amazing with affirmations doesn't work if you don't believe it. You need to transform that first. So when you say an affirmation and you don't believe it, when that affirmation is said in the same space that I am good enough through the process, you do believe it. It's different from actually being consciously saying I'm good enough to when you're actually doing through the process and getting the learnings on it, and then you can actually do affirmations afterwards, and you will believe them because you do believe you are good enough. So if you're trying to prepare for like a public speech or something like that, and you're struggling because you're still a little bit fearful just because you haven't practiced public speaking that often, if you believe that you are good enough now, you can then look in the mirror and do affirmations to prepare yourself for the speech, to get yourself into that psych of getting up there in public speaking.

Karyn De Mol:
But you will believe it because you've actually got the learnings on it from beforehand. Does that make sense?

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah. Yeah. And I think once you get to that place, then you can visualize properly. It's almost like that energy shifts into a space where you can actually go for the positive outcome for which you're hoping to achieve. Yeah.

Karyn De Mol:
There's a lot of processes where you actually go through to the future and see yourself living the life you want to live. But again, if you haven't transformed the emotions around why you can't live that, then going into the future and visualizing that may not make it happen, may not make it appear for you because you're still part of. You still doesn't believe that it's possible. So you need to actually transform that first.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Karyn De Mol:
Before all those beautiful affirmations and those things work for you.

Jennifer Norman:
True.

Karyn De Mol:
There are some people who have no problems with it. It works for them. There are some women who work with all the other modalities and it works for them as well. I'm not saying that all women can't get results because they're beautiful processes and they do work. But if someone's tried all those things and they're struggling...

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Karyn De Mol:
Then that's when I suggest they have a conversation with me specifically about Creatrix.

Jennifer Norman:
Love that. Let's talk about alignment of the head, heart and gut. You've mentioned that a few different times. And I am such a big proponent. We call it the three brains. Our heads, our hearts, our guts. And making sure that there is complete alignment in order to be able to really let your authentic truth shine forth out into the world. Because if one of them, if you're acting on any two of the three, or just one of the three, then you're probably not going to feel great. It might be harder, more difficult for you to actually get to where you want to go.

Jennifer Norman:
How do you help people get alignment with their head, heart and gut?

Karyn De Mol:
Because that's obviously when they believe in themselves, they'll trust their intuition. When they love themselves, their heart's connected and your brain is, again, when you've let go of all that stuff that's running in there, thinking that you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you just can't do any of these things. When you believe that you love yourself and you trust your intuition, so it is actually just getting all three aligned by truly believing that you have that capability. And women just don't have that. Naturally, when they've had traumas or when they've had things happen in their life because they disconnect, they don't trust their emotions, they overreact. I don't know about you, but, like, if you're sort of having an issue, quite often your stomach reacts when you're pondering over something and you're thinking, oh, a bit nervous. Well, our stomach sort of goes with that as well, too.

Karyn De Mol:
So when we actually believe that we can do it, our stomach's more aligned. And definitely our heart, like, women definitely need their heart connected to most things that they do. You know, that's why everything is so connected for us, because our heart drives how we live our lives. And if we stop listening to that, which is quite often we do because of things that have happened in our past or the way that we react to things, then it's hard to live authentically.

Jennifer Norman:
I often find that people will go through and whatever they're thinking, they're looking for confirmation bias almost. It's, you know, if they think that they're not good enough, then they're going to look for every cue, everything that is going to tell them that they're not good enough. Whereas, there could be a ton — just like you said, if somebody tells you you're wonderful, there could be a ton of evidence to the contrary, but you won't believe it, you won't see it, it won't be yours to really obtain. And that is part of that difference, of making that inroad into stepping into that positive aspect of yourself. That you can take baby steps towards and believe, and then that could uncover and reveal something bigger. And then another step forward, something else that could be on the path of you actually feel good about yourself. So it's not like you're trying to do gymnastics for the Olympics and you don't know how to do a cartwheel. I mean, that's not like you're going to go from zero to 60 overnight. It takes skill and it takes practice and it takes a lot of grace for us to have patience and understanding and diligence and be able to have that mindset of strength that I'm going to go through all of this because I think it's worth it and getting excited about it.

Jennifer Norman:
But if it's something that you feel like you're just justifying, well, you know, I'm going to marry that guy because xyz or I'm going to for that job because it seems pretty stable. We're going to rationalize and we'll say all these things. Even though in our guts we were like, you know, you get that feeling like, eh. Or your heart is kind of like, you're not sure. You really want all three of them to just light up and be energized. That's when you know it's right for you.

Karyn De Mol:
And we need to learn to listen to all three.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing too. We don't. A lot of times we're listening to everybody else and not ourselves in the world.

Karyn De Mol:
Yeah. And that's because we're worried about what other people think of us. So when we stop believing in ourselves, that's when everything gets out of alignment. And when we can get that back, that's when we can start to listen to all three.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah. I often recall when my dad was getting up in years, he's no longer with us, God rest his soul, but when he was getting up in years, he would come downstairs and he'd have like this chewed up hat that he loved to wear and some ratty old clothes. And I was like, dad, are you sure you want to wear that? And he's like, I stopped caring about what other people think. And I'm like, do we aspire to that or is that how he should be? Like, maybe he's got a point there. What would you say? Like, if a woman's like, am I just gonna let myself go because I'm so comfortable with myself and not care what anybody else thinks or what... How would you respond to that?

Karyn De Mol:
Go for it.

Jennifer Norman:
Exactly. That's what they should do.

Karyn De Mol:
Why should we judge them? Why? Why should we judge them for doing what they want to do if that's what. As long as someone's not harming someone else, why? Why can't they wear that fisherman's hat or what it is that they want to do?

Jennifer Norman:
It makes them happy.

Karyn De Mol:
Because ultimately we worry about what other people think of us. If someone can actually go out there, why should we judge them for doing what we're worried that other people are going to judge us for?

Karyn De Mol:
Because that's why we're actually thinking they shouldn't be. Awareness. Because we're worried about if we're with them, what's other people going to think? That's us thinking about ourselves, not thinking about them. Yeah, if someone feels that way, we support them. But again, it comes down to if not a problem for them, it's not a problem. We shouldn't try to change someone if it's not a problem for them, as long as it's not harming someone else.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah, that's a very good point. I think that there is not harming. And there's also respect, like respecting an occasion, respecting the socialization and the appropriateness of things. And so it's not to say just screw it and go running around naked downtown or anything like that. I mean, it's like, you know, there is, oh, darn, can't go running naked downtown. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?

Karyn De Mol:
There's beaches for that.

Jennifer Norman:
There are places and spaces for just about anything. Correct. So if somebody comes to you and is like, okay, I am struggling with my emotional well being and I'm just suffering and feeling stuck in life. Is there something that is just like a simple methodology? I'm thinking like podcast version, obviously, because I know that there's a whole lot of work that goes into a relationship and a healing process in therapy and sometimes podcasts diminish that. I want to give due respect to the process and not looking for quick fixes. But I'm curious if there are certain things that women get in a habit of doing or saying or being that you think might be something to bring more awareness to that they might be able to correct on their own?

Karyn De Mol:
Yeah, definitely. The best thing I can think of to bring awareness is journaling. And I know some people don't like doing it because it can be hard. When I journal, I tend to prefer to use the typewriter. For some reason, my fingers type better than just writing. I can't read my own writing back, so I can sit there and just type and I say to do it without...don't think, just start typing. And if you're struggling, just start typing.

Karyn De Mol:
There's a dog walking down the road and blah, blah, blah. And then how does that make me feel? And then just start sort of bringing in your feelings throughout the process. If you do it without thought and then read it back, you may get some real aha moments of what's going on for you. So when I was doing the course myself all these years ago and I woke up in the middle of the night with crying. I got like a suppressed emotion. And I talk about that with my clients of a suppressed emotion. I'm there. I did a suppressed emotion for a client when I was in hospital with my cancer because the suppressed emotion came up for it. I jump on it straight away for them.

Karyn De Mol:
Anyway, I got this suppressed emotion and I just started journaling at 2 o'clock in the morning, I think I started journaling, and when I read back what I'd written, I knew exactly what it was that was popping up for me that I needed to get the learning for. So journaling, if you do it in that space where you're willing to just allow it to come out on paper, on the typewriter or the keyboard, if that's the way you prefer to do things, then once you identify what it is, you can then decide what you want to do with it. Whether it be to reach out to someone or you. You can turn it around. You can look at it and go, okay, that's a negative. How can I turn that into a positive? Because as I said, the work I do is a way that it comes from within.

Karyn De Mol:
So if you can do that from your journaling and turn that around, quite often you can't because you've got blinders on. You can't see, you have your troubles. But some women can. They can actually look at that and then turn that around.

Karyn De Mol:
Well, my suppressed emotion that came up was that I'm better than them. And I didn't like it. I didn't like this ego thing that popped up because we do have that as well, too. We have that other side. And I didn't like the way it made me react to something. So you can actually turn that around by turning that into a positive. If you can find the positive around it, then you may be able to transform it on your own.

Jennifer Norman:
Oh, I love that.

Karyn De Mol:
We do have to recognize that we have the traumas. We also have these things inside us that we may not like, but they've been put there for a reason. Obviously. For me, it was probably put there to be strong, you know, when I had to bring myself up from the age of 15. You'll get these egos, and those egos may serve you for a certain time, but then that ego may be getting in your way at other times.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah, the ego is not the amigo. In many cases, I like to say.

Karyn De Mol:
Quite often egos are probably brought in as well. To live in a man's world, possibly, we need to. We're trying to be something we're not. So we have to put up this front. And then that comes back and bites us at another time, it may serve us in one particular moment in time. And what actually happens is as our unconscious mind decides, decides that it served us there, it's keeping us safe. You get triggered somewhere else. You'll actually bring that same thing in because it believes it's keeping you safe.

Karyn De Mol:
And so when you can transform that. Yeah, but some of these things you pick, some women aren't willing to face either. You've got to be willing to actually look at it and go, yeah, I can see that's a problem for me. And I was in a state of crying. It was like real ugly crying.

Jennifer Norman:
Oh, that's the thing too. A lot of times where if somebody points out a deficiency or a flaw or obviously many cases we might get defensive or we may get crushed, it could be one way or another. And inevitably it's one and the other. You're defensive, because it's crushing you. And the interesting thing is that we are often like, well, that must mean that something is wrong with me.

Jennifer Norman:
We internalize it. Like I'm a failure, or I need fixing, I'm so broken. We. We say all these things without understanding that it's not us that needs fixing. There's a difference between fixing and healing. Like, we want everybody... The hope and the goal is that everybody loves themselves so much that they can love other people just unconditionally.

Jennifer Norman:
We've been brought up to love so conditionally in society. If you do this, I'll never forgive you again. Or if that person is like that, then they're not for me. Or if you do this, then I will love you forever. Like, we say these things joking, but it's obviously that, you know, gotten into our psyche that sometimes people are worthy of our love, and other times, no, I'm going to remove my love from you. Because it's conditional. And once we get to a place where we can stop doing that to ourselves, then we can stop doing that with other people.

Karyn De Mol:
Correct.

Jennifer Norman:
And it just becomes much more harmonious altogether. That's really what our hope is, that we'll be able to see these blind spots and these shadow sides of ourselves and shine that light on them so that we can get to a place where we are made whole. Never perfect, but just whole.

Karyn De Mol:
Correct. And the way we react to things is quite often the way we're reacting to ourselves, the way we react outwardly is because we've, it's the way we feel about ourselves. And so when we are judging others, we're quite often judging ourselves. And when we say those things like, oh, if you do this, I'll love you forever, we're obviously looking for that for ourselves as well too. So it all, at all, it all starts with us.People don't probably recognize that they have low self esteem or whatever the case may, may be. But quite often it all starts with their self esteem, their self belief and then from there their emotions and then from traumas on stuff. So when I work with someone, I do actually the different types of processes, we work through those too because we know they're the starting blocks...

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Karyn De Mol:
To make the changes.

Jennifer Norman:
So it sounds like if, for those who are listening, if you're a woman and you feel that you might be stuck, you feel like you've been invisible, that people just, just don't see you or hear you or notice you or value you for who you are. If you feel like you're people pleasing and just doing things because you're seeking some sort of love externally from somebody else, this modality of Creatrix Transformation seems like it could be something really powerful if you haven't tried it before. I know I haven't and this is the first time I'm hearing about it. If you've tried other modalities and are just seeking to take your practice of healing a little bit further, it sounds really, really intriguing and I'd encourage you to give Karyn a lookup. So Karyn, how can people get in touch with you? If they would like to hear more or learn more about your work?

Karyn De Mol:
They can jump on my website and you can actually book in a free consultation with me just to sort of have a chat to see if we're right fit. So that's GoodnessMeAlternative.comau or.com either will work or they can even just go KarynDeMol.com and it'll actually find the website as well. Or they can follow me on Facebook, Transform with Castle and Instagram and just reach out and have a conversation. Because that's the first step is that conversation.

Jennifer Norman:
Wow, amazing. Well, thank you for bringing to light this wonderful modality. Thank you for your work. It sounds amazing for women to really get to know themselves more and to really live the kind of abundant lives that they really want to yeah. Karyn De Mol, everyone. Thank you so much for being on The Human Beauty Movement Podcast Podcast today.

Karyn De Mol:
Thank you for having me. I really, really enjoyed it. Thanks Jennifer.

Jennifer Norman:
Thank you for listening to The Human Beauty Movement Podcast. Be sure to follow, follow rate and review us wherever you stream podcasts The Human Beauty Movement is a community based platform that cultivates the beauty of humankind. Check out our workshops, find us on social media, and share our inspiration with all the beautiful humans in your life. Learn more at thehumanbeautymovement.com. Thank you so much for being a beautiful human.