Courage, Curiosity & Cultvating Your Inner Spark with Sharon Rolph

Jennifer Norman:
Hello beautiful humans. Welcome to The Human Beauty Movement Podcast, your source for hope, healing, happiness and humanity. My name is Jennifer Norman. I'm the founder of The Human Beauty Movement and your host. This podcast is here to guide you on your journey of self love, empowerment, soul alignment and joy. With each episode, I invite beautiful humans from all corners of the globe to join me for open conversations about their life lessons and the important work that they are doing to help heal humankind. Take a moment now to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss an episode. I'm so glad you're here, joining me for today's show.

Jennifer Norman:
Today we're diving into a topic that affects millions of people around the world. Feeling stuck, unfulfilled, or like you're not living up to your true potential. Did you know that over 85% of people worldwide report feeling disengaged from their daily lives, often weighed down by boredom, loneliness, or lack of direction? So many people are searching for a deeper sense of purpose, but don't know where to start or how to access it.

Jennifer Norman:
Our guest today, Sharon Rolph, knows exactly how to help. Known as the Queen of Courage, Sharon is a seasoned behavioral scientist and essence coach who's on a mission to help people repurpose their unique talents, experiences and values to live from a place of joy. Sharon guides people to uncover their inner spark, that one of a kind essence within each of us that leads to contentment, fulfillment, and a sense of true belonging.

Jennifer Norman:
In today's episode, you'll discover Sharon's powerful strategies for transforming feelings of invisibility or dissatisfaction into courage and confidence. You'll learn how to identify and live from your essence so that each day feels meaningful, purposeful and aligned.

Jennifer Norman:
If you're ready to trade in confusion and boredom for a life that feels ideal, well, this episode is for you. Get ready to ignite your inner potential with insights from Sharon Rolph, the Queen of Courage. Welcome to the podcast, Sharon.

Sharon Rolph:
Wow, that was such a good introduction. Thanks, Jenn. It feels good because I love talk about human beauty. Every one of us is a human beauty. And living from that spark that's inside is just what life is all about. So let's get into it.

Jennifer Norman:
I truly believe that. And you are such a beautiful human for finding your purpose in life, which is to help others find their inner spark. And I know it didn't come easy for you. There was pretty much a whole career of not really feeling like you were visible or that you belonged. Can you talk a little bit more about your experience?

Sharon Rolph:
Well, yeah, it was. I actually wanted to be invisible as a kid. And I'm sure I'm not the only one, because when there's abuse happening in your home, you just try to skirt around it as best you can guess. I had a roommate that whenever she had to call home, she would shake because her dad was an alcoholic. And depending on the time of day, she was scared spitless, I guess is the term, of having to deal with that alcohol conversation. And she just needed some answer. But if dad answers the phone, how long will it take her to get the answer from mom?

Sharon Rolph:
Well, there was sexual abuse in our home. And I actually have recently thought it might have started for me in crib. I have had a kind of reoccurring thing about laying stiff as a board in my crib because I was scared. And, you know, now as a baby, I don't know what had happened exactly, but I know when I was 8, 10, 12 years old, I kept my distance from dad. I said hundreds of times, thank heavens he keeps his hands off me. But my older sister did have a baby by my dad, and she's now passed on.

Sharon Rolph:
But people who have that experience, often they say either become promiscuous or become overweight. Well, I was the overweight gal, and she tended to be promiscuous because she lived on a base with military people.

Sharon Rolph:
So it wasn't until I retired, well, the week before I retired, I started coaching school. And I happened to tell people, the instructors, that I had stuck my neck out because the next weekend was my good friend's birthday. And I said, well, I'm probably going to wear a hat to your birthday party. And she said, oh, yeah, you'll probably be the only one. Oh, wait a minute. My sister might wear one. There are three or four of us. The hat I took in is this one.

Sharon Rolph:
Hey, it looks pretty good today. It's my birthday, by the way, so I dress well.

Jennifer Norman:
Happy birthday, Sharon!

Sharon Rolph:
77 today! They invited me to bring in my hat that I was going to wear to the party the next day. And I didn't take just one hat. I took like five or six hats. So every time we had a break, I put on a different hat just for the break period. And that was the first inkling that something wanted to be seen. It was probably about six months later I came back from break at the same class, and I actually stomped my foot and slapped the table and said, it's not okay to be invisible again. I had that sense something was bubbling up from subconscious maybe that needed to be recognized. And set free, perhaps.

Sharon Rolph:
So in my job, I was a diligent worker. My career, I applied myself, I learned new things. And I kind of remember going through a few years where I said, well, my boss will know when I'm ready to move on. You know, I leave it up to the management. Well, it took me a while to realize I needed to be in charge of that, but I still, I did a few things during my career that was using my own initiative to take a Dale Carnegie course and to attend Toastmasters. In fact, I even went to Nashville at one of the Toastmasters conventions and vacations. You need to go somewhere. And I've never married and never had kids, so wide open as far as choices go, but to see the cream of the crop present there.

Sharon Rolph:
In fact, I remember the lady, one of the lady speakers, she was talking about being on a cruise ship and waltzing down the hallway as if she owned everything and just parading, I guess, and, and feeling so marvelous on a cruise ship. I remember her, that being in her speech. But about the time I started coaching classes, I had also taken a course: Profile. I like profiles because it kind of helped me understand me, but it also helped me understand how we're different. And lo and behold, this profile said I was an influencer. Influencer? Are you sure you have the right person? I think this is a mistake.

Sharon Rolph:
And I started kind of pondering that and wondering maybe I should take some baby steps as see if that might be true. And as I about that time, I was also invited to be a podcast guest out of New York City. And so I did that. And then they offered me a chance to have my own podcast. And so I stuck my neck out and maybe this will work. And I did, I think about 26, audio only. And then I shifted over to audio and video and it's been quite a ride ever since.

Jennifer Norman:
Wow, what a story. First of all, for those of you who aren't watching lovely Sharon on video, she is absolutely gorgeous. She is absolutely. When you talk about spark, she's got inner and outer spark. She's got her glitter on today for her birthday. She's just absolutely light filled. And you can tell from the energy in her voice, it's okay to be a late bloomer. It's okay to go through your life and then all of a sudden realize, you know what? This is something new that I want to start.

Jennifer Norman:
And you pretty much like rebirthed yourself after retirement, which is absolutely incredible. A lot of people think, oh, it's too late for me. I'M too old to change, I'm too this or too that. But what are some of those words that you might be saying to those people that feel like, oh, they just have to live the lives that they've already had and there's not much more for them?

Sharon Rolph:
Well, life is what you make it and what you believe. I've been very fortunate to look so much younger than my age is. People sometimes ask me about whether I've suffered from agism and not get the job I wanted because of my age. Well, I walked into Boeing up here in Seattle at 60 years old. I had been told by a good friend of mine, you can't get your foot in the door after. I don't know if she said 50 or 55, but she said she seemed to think that there was she knew human resources person that said you don't get hired after that age. But they were having and giving an incentive to join.

Sharon Rolph:
You get hired in at Boeing at the time, and so if you hired in by it was like the 5th of September. Well I missed it by I was applying before the end of that 5th of September but I took a little extra time to make sure I had my physical exam lined up and all that and could pass the physical deal. But so I missed the incentive but to walk in the door at 60, I'm sure I shocked my family and yet there were other people that bred for me because I had the courage and was bold enough to keep moving one step forward. And that's how you one of my I make these art blocks and I have one that says you'll know the next step once you take the first step. So you basically decide whether you're ready to give up and believe like so many others do, that I can't. Well it changes everything when you're curious as a three year old and say what's possible. So here's an example of my the block I put on the front of my book. Explore the possibilities.

Sharon Rolph:
Well if you put a I can't go beyond this because of my age, then you're the one that stops you. And one of my favorite favorite things I repeat I swear every week is I'm the one who decide what stops me. And you know how many people you know that are older that just walking out to the mailbox to get the mail and coming back that walk is once you stop doing that, yeah you probably can't do it anymore. You get a dog that makes you walk because it keeps you agile and when you get too weak to do that Then you're giving up. And yes, your body may not be able to handle it, but as long as you keep pushing forward, anything is possible. So what would it take to be curious about the possibilities? I intend to live to a hundred and that's not going to, you know, getting older today is not going to stop me from reaching for 100. I hope that you have reasons to want to live longer for your grandkids or for making a difference in the world or for solving some problems that maybe you're the perfect person to do it and we're waiting on you.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah, beautiful words. And I love that you did touch on physical health and physical well being because a lot of this is intertwined your mental. It's kind of like everything is just so synergistic and holistic that your mind and your body, your energy, your just everything that you're bringing to the table. If you take steps in a certain direction from a physical perspective, to your point about even just going to the mailbox, going around the block if you've got a dog, getting yourself physically active and able and strong helps you mentally also to feel that you can be resilient and that you can withstand certain tests. And you also mentioned curiosity. That seems to be the buzzword these days is like curiosity is the key to continuous growth, continuous exception expansion to continuous becoming, becoming who you wish to be and also learning the things that you don't want to be. And that's completely fine too. It's part of life to see try on a few different things, try on a few different outfits as they say.

Jennifer Norman:
In your case you tried on public speaking and stepping out into a new job and all of these things that you didn't even say like, well, tradition says I'm too old or tradition says I should be packing it up and we're like, no, I'm going to be the one that's going to decide and let them say no, but I'm not going to say no before they do.

Sharon Rolph:
And how many three year olds say, well I'll show you, I'll tie my shoes or I'll get this cupboard door open while you're not watching.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah, yeah, I remember a very key phrase. It might have been from Tony Robbins and it was, if you tell yourself... because people who step into identity, it's a very key thing that once you decide what kind of person you are, you want everything in your body, everything in your power wants to live up to that label or to that identity. So a very good practice is to say I'm the kind of person who. Or I'm the kind of person that fill in the blank, fill it with something that is empowering and inspiring to you and you will ultimately become it. So I'm the kind of person who always shows up on time. It could be as easy as that. Then once you say that to yourself, you're always good. You're, you know, you're going to make a point to make sure that you're on time. I'm the kind of person who always calls their friends back. It's like, okay, then I'm going to be that. You just automatically step into that because that's what you've defined yourself as. I'm the kind of person that people just absolutely love to be around. I'm the kind of person that no matter what happens, I'm always going to remain positive. Those sorts of things. And so I would encourage everybody who's listening to maybe think about several different aspects of what you wish to become and then use that phrase as practice and repeat it to yourself over and over again.

Jennifer Norman:
Maybe you have it on a Post It on your mirror in the morning so that you can see it, or maybe it's something that you've just committed to memory and sooner or later you will start to evolve into that person that you identify with. It's very, very powerful.

Sharon Rolph:
Okay, so, Jenn. Before I get out of bed every morning, one of the things I do is I pray for about 20 people morning and night and... But after that, then I say, why am I so incredibly beautiful, slim and confident?

Jennifer Norman:
I love it.

Sharon Rolph:
Another one is, how do you want to dance with me today, God? But when I retired, when I first put on my fancy hat there for class, I was 244 pounds. And this morning I weighed in at 191. So in the time I've been retired, I have lost quite a bit of weight and I knew I wasn't incredibly beautiful, slim and confident. Confident was kind of the... I had a decent amount of confidence, but slim? Yeah, that was not me.

Sharon Rolph:
And in fact my sweater I'm wearing today is probably a size or two too big. But yeah, it has made an impact on while that you look in the mirror and you looking in your eyes and complimenting. Yeah, you're looking. It's looking good today just in a reality kind of way. Not pride at all, but to a big key with that and making those powerful affirmations, Jenn, is just loving yourself. There's such a difference in loving who you are, and that did take a long time for me.

Jennifer Norman:
And for me, I definitely know that it's something that we talk about. It feels cliche, and it doesn't necessarily land until you get it. There's just something that clicks when all of a sudden you're like, wow, yeah, I get to love myself. I get to deserve this life. And then all these other things start to fall into place.

Jennifer Norman:
Now Sharon is hugging herself. Oh, she's such a delight. I can't even tell you. Ladies and gents, it's amazing. One thing I do want to go back to just quickly, because on The Human Beauty Movement, I actually threw away my scale because I was finding that I was too tied to numbers. And it almost became like a psychosis where it was like, if I gained a pound or it was just like... my day would be made or not. And so this is not to say that slim or anything like that is better or worse. It's not.

Jennifer Norman:
We do have an obesity epidemic in our country. I want to say, like, 80% of the country is overweight and perhaps 50% obese. I think 50% of kids these days are pre diabetic. And so there is a lot that is tied to your health and in terms of having a healthy amount of fat on your body, adipose tissue versus visceral fat and whatnot. And so this is all about just your wellbeing, your health, how you feel, feel how you really can move through the world with ease. And so whether or not that means that you're a size 16, 14, 2, it doesn't really matter. It really just matters that we want you to be healthy, we want you to feel good. We want you to be able to live as long as possible and be centurions, just like Sharon is expecting to be.

Jennifer Norman:
Anyway, I want to get to this idea of so many people feeling stuck. What do you think are... in your work, you've probably come across so many people that just feel so unfulfilled. And so what are some of those common reasons why people feel stuck? And even if they're, you know, achieving traditional markers of success, maybe they've got the job, they've got the wonderful husband or wife or what have you, but they're still feeling like there's gotta be something more to life.

Sharon Rolph:
Well, let me first say that it kind of goes back to a little bit of what really helped change my perception of myself was around weight, because we judge ourselves so much. When you start telling yourself, I'm doing the best I know how, it loosens up all that judging. I remember giving myself a party for my 70th birthday. And when I went back and looked at the pictures I had over the years, I thought, I'm sure I felt 30 pounds overweight then. And I didn't look it at all.

Sharon Rolph:
But all society is such a threatening kind of thing to be comparing ourselves to others all, all the time. I think it starts in school when you had to wear the right jeans and have the right haircut and all that stuff. But when you are saying to yourself or anybody else, they're doing the best they know how, it loosens all that comparison. And so, yeah, I can stand taller because I'm not sloughing off. I'm consciously doing the best I know how. And when you know better, you do better. Like with Tony Robbins, I'm sure he says that a lot, where your identity can be something you choose, even when there's generational genes handed down and that you're prone to various illnesses.

Sharon Rolph:
Okay, so I'll never forget. This is such a strong point. I was in my 20s, maybe 22, 23 years old. I was working second shift downtown Seattle, and the flu was going around, so it was probably September, October time frame, perhaps. And I started feeling nauseous for about 10 minutes, and I stomped my foot again and I said, go bother somebody else. And it did.

Jennifer Norman:
Too bad for that somebody else, but...

Sharon Rolph:
Yeah, yeah, I said, shoo, go get away from me. I'm not going to be sick. I've never had cancer, diabetes, any of that stuff. And because I'm in charge of my health, I'm not going to pick up germs. And none of that, shoo, go on. I don't participate in that way of life.

Sharon Rolph:
So let me tell you another story that is powerful. I came, I was out of town for two, three days over a weekend. And as I came in the house, I grabbed some water to water my plants out here on the patio. And the thought went through my mind, oh, yeah, if you're not growing, you're dying. My plants need water to grow. Oh, if I'm not growing, I'm dying.

Sharon Rolph:
So the myth that was going around at Boeing when I was there, I was shocked when somebody told me this, that, oh, yeah, there's lots of people that put off retiring because they know they'll be dead in three years. That hurt my heart because it took me a while to realize that, yeah, it may take three years for a couch potato to die. And if they feel like they earn that then I'm sorry, but you can have an. I'm not gonna go there.

Jennifer Norman:
Right, right. And I suppose that is because of the intertwining of career work with purpose of life. It's like if I don't work and I don't keep myself busy and occupied and this is what I'm doing, then what use am I? And then there seems to be this feeling like, okay, well, now that that's done, there's no more for me. There's no reason why I should carry on. And if they're not keeping their bodies healthy, then couch potatoing is very much the sentiment where feeling like, well, we haven't gotten enough exercise, we're very sedentary, and longevity is not really in the cards. It is very much a reality.

Sharon Rolph:
Yeah, I think that's especially true for men. They're quite the doers or fixers or providers. And there is a certain amount of not being relevant when you don't have a job. I remember one of the first ladies I talked to about this. She was walking along the street having gotten some groceries. I believe it was with her daughter. And her daughter was talking. I don't know if it's to her mom or about her mom, but because her mom no longer had a job, she was kind of forced out because she had been sick a couple years prior and it was right to beginning of the COVID and they wanted to keep her safe, to not be a fatality because of her earlier episode. And her daughter was talking like her mom was invisible. It made her so mad that just because I don't have a job doesn't make me invisible. She doesn't count or what.

Sharon Rolph:
But we need to draw on the wisdom and talent and education that people as they're retiring, just repurpose all of those talents and the people they know and the things, the experiences they've had over life and repurpose them into a new retirement. Now, one of my podcast guests said that they said, well, do what you did for charity. So she used the example, if somebody needs to need something delivered or people delivered, and they are an airline pilot, well, find a charity that needs something delivered in a plane, you know, or if you're a cpa, go find a nonprofit or charity that needs somebody to do their books. And that's an easy way to transition into something new, is keep doing it, but for a charity purpose.

Sharon Rolph:
And as you do that, there may be new volunteer ways that come up that that draws you to something new. Maybe you could do both of them. Another podcast guest was an AARP past president for Washington State, had done that for six years, and he had a nice layout of here's what what you get when you volunteer. You keep being social. You have opportunities to learn some more stuff. He found that when he volunteered he ran into his dentist and come to find out his dentist did bicycle all over the world. And that doesn't come up when you're in the dentist's office. But volunteering.

Sharon Rolph:
In fact, I do have a course on the Great Discovery platform that I wrote in May on volunteering and it turned out so good. And I thought sharing this is going to change people's lives because it does add years to your life. It adds social elements to your your life so you're not as lonely. And the fact that you're learning new things and being curious and growing is all for good health and fulfillment, meaning, oh beautiful.

Jennifer Norman:
Thanks for sharing all of that. And it starts to get to that notion that you like to talk about, which is the inner spark. I would love if you could just define that a little bit more for our listeners and how finding that inner spark can transform somebody's life.

Sharon Rolph:
Oh yeah, it when you realize what God put inside of you, your personality and your talents and things that matter to you. I call them sometimes invisible assets because I'm not wearing my spark. I am my spark. One of here, start with this little exercise. Okay. Make a list of 20 things you love to do. 20? That's quite a few. But have you remembered what you love to do?

Sharon Rolph:
You know, I love to bake. I've been baking since I was a teenager and now I've converted my recipes into gluten free recipes. That was a challenge. I love to. Well, I don't think as much anymore, but I did take a trip to Australia and in choir as a something I love to do. And let's see, what else? Oh, I love to grow my petunias and geraniums on my patio here. What do you love to do? Well, if you've forgotten I this is a side note, but I have another course on the Great Discovery platform. That's what makes your heart sing. That's another way of thinking about what do you love to do.

Sharon Rolph:
Because it can be as outrageous as touching the water in the seven oceans or something as simple as texting the roundabout to make it look pretty and down your street or following the monarch butterfly migration. So after you've listed the 20 things you love to do, then list 15 things you like about yourself. Because this whole process is a digging into a deep inner wisdom of you. And nobody has taught us how to do that. When I first shared my, we called it essence. When I learned it, as it we were standing in a circle and reading our essence statement to each other and as it became my turn to share who. Nobody had ever asked me to describe my soul before. That's what it felt like.

Sharon Rolph:
And here's what I shared that day. I am precious jewel of wisdom. I am colorful collaborator, motivator, and learner. I am tranquil, authentic, and pure. Inspire. I light fires. I'm here to light your fire. To help you thrive from what's inside.

Sharon Rolph:
You don't have to do as much as you need to be. And in retirement, we get to live from our heart. And what a better way to live than that. We don't need all the brain or brawn that we did in our job. It's just living from your heart, and that changes you and it changes the world.

Jennifer Norman:
After all, we are human beings, not human doings. That's really lovely. I love your essence statement. So what an encouragement to our listeners. 20 things that you love to do, 15 things that you love about yourself, and describe your soul. Let's create an essence statement about ourselves.

Sharon Rolph:
Is that how you say we use a metaphor? So I start mine out with I am precious jewel of wisdom. Well, in Dallas, Texas, one year, I was there at the Mayfair event around the Cowboy Stadium, and there was a jewel, a geometry teacher turned jeweler, that I stumbled upon his booth there, and he made stackables. I tried putting the rings on my finger, and something moved in my gut. What just happened? You know, so I took them off and put them on again, and it moved again. Something about the beauty of what he had created. And my appreciation for beauty just kind of collided. I was so baffled by what had just happened.

Sharon Rolph:
But that makes my essence statement all the more precious to me. Because I am precious jewel of wisdom. I decided to use that metaphor of the jewelry to describe myself. Metaphor that we use kind of reminds me of how in the Bible, when you read the parables, you can read the parables a hundred different times, and you'll get a different message out of them. Because there's so much more than just the story of the parable. There's something living kind of in what there is to learn from the story that day.

Sharon Rolph:
And that's how your essence or inner spark happens for you. When you create. You take all these tangible... Well, I say intangible things and mold them into something that appeals to you. Out in nature someplace could be a river or, or a mountain or whoever, whatever. And you say, how am I like that mountain or that river, stream? Several people in our class used some version of water to describe themselves the sparkle and the reflection that it has.

Sharon Rolph:
And nature is such a beautiful lesson for all of us, isn't it? And so we might. We also include in that your values. Values is really what gives your life meaning. And your talent might be the perfect thing that solves a problem that the world needs to fix. And we need you to rise up with your inner spark and be somebody that helps fix the world to make it better.

Jennifer Norman:
Wow. I love all the visualizations, the metaphors that you're using when you are coming out with your essence statement. I was working with a woman. She was also a previous podcast guest, Katie Fink, who was working in corporate and then decided to follow her own soul journey and became a vibration frequency specialist, essentially more into the spiritual realm. And she would have a water bottle that she would label and she would essentially create energy in her water, writing words like diamond. And she said, you know what? Right now, I'm resonating with the diamond frequency. I feel like a diamond. I'm just like, captivating all of the facets and the glimmer and the preciousness of the diamond. Every time I drink my water, I'm drinking in diamond frequency energy.

Jennifer Norman:
And I thought, wow, that is really special. That is really cool. And so that's another nice practical thing that we can do in order to help lift our energy, lift our vibration, and remember the preciousness that we each have. Finding that inner spark that makes us remember how special we are. Not necessarily telling ourselves stories per se. It's really kind of excavating and doing that exploration of all of those things that are within us already and then helping to kind of uncover them and resurface them, polishing them off so that everybody else can see it.

Sharon Rolph:
Well said. Wow.

Jennifer Norman:
Moving on to courage, because you are known as the Queen of Courage, and I can already see why. But I would love to know, what does courage mean to you and how does it relate to living authentically?

Sharon Rolph:
Well, I did a speech here for down in Arizona here a couple years ago, and I was speaking on purpose and mental health. Yeah. And spiritual health. And I had all kinds of words on the screen for spiritual health that were, in fact, positive things like hope and love and curiosity. When you open yourself up to possibilities, you're basically inviting In a subtle kind of way and yet very meaningful way. For what else can I do? Or could there be.

Sharon Rolph:
I had a friend a couple days ago, was on my Loneliness to Resilience event I do every week. And he was saying how he goes in with a bunch of people and they say, how you doing? And he always says, fine. And that wasn't authentic for him. We kind of judge, oh, you couldn't handle. If I told you anything other than I was fine, you're expecting that. So the guts, the courage to actually say, I'm struggling. I don't know that he had considered that. But you know what helped me become more visible? And it started with this simple little thing coming back from a week of class off site. I started imagining kicking the back of my chair as saying, come on, Sharon, put something out there in the tape on the table.

Sharon Rolph:
In this meeting, if you spoke up your truth, you might actually be speaking for half a dozen other people in the meeting who aren't brave enough to put their truth out there. And so I had my friend imagine what would it. How different would it be if he was to actually speak his truth and grapple with. How could it be different? Because you might not only be helping yourself, but others that don't have the courage to say more. So courage, to me, is quite a spiritual word because it helps us stand taller, as is helping me be more bold. And let me also mention authenticity, encourage. Go really close together. But a lot of people, one of these art blocks that I make is vulnerability is the willingness to show up and be seen without any guarantee of the outcome.

Sharon Rolph:
And to me, that says, yeah, you're risking being bold, but that vulnerability that you are showing and in being vulnerable, you live to tell about it, it didn't kill you. It actually might be a miracle because now we might connect in a totally different way than we had ever known each other. Sometimes the ways you get to build rapport is that, oh, yeah, I grew up in the same city you did. Who knew? You start talking about what things you have in common. Well, vulnerability is kind of magical to me because it's. It gives us another way to connect. And just by blurting stuff out that feels like it might land somewhere in a favorable kind of way. And making that connection gives us more to talk about and more to identify with each other.

Sharon Rolph:
Instead of being this, I'm a professional and I just stick to business, you know, well, we might have the same. Oh, so today, what to talk about changing. I'm finally going to have a exam this Afternoon for hearing aids. Somebody gave me some hearing aids and I'm missing some of the conversations that are going on. And to admit that to myself takes courage, you know, but that's the reality of being 77 and. But the speaking your own truth and being willing to. There might be other people I can help as I get my hearing aid, improve my hearing, that I can better enter into conversations that have kind of been feeling like I'm on the outside because I'm not totally understanding what's happening in the room I'm in. And that doesn't feel very good to me because it kind of creates some of that isolation that makes us feel more alone.

Sharon Rolph:
And I'm not going to put up with that any longer.

Jennifer Norman:
Going back to the courage and authenticity, that is true when we can just realize that courage doesn't mean jumping out of an airplane or doing anything reckless. That's not necessarily what we mean by courage. It's just like those little baby steps that let you say, you know what? I'm going to be my true self. And that's okay because if I feel that I have to be protective and hide or cover up, then others aren't getting the benefit of your true self. And part of you probably feels stuck and restricted. If you are feeling like you have to act or behave in a certain way in order to fit in or to get by or to just kind of get through the day without feeling like you're bothering anybody. Like if somebody says, oh, how are you? And you say oh, I'm fine. I call that the four letter F word because it's really, it is inauthentic.

Jennifer Norman:
But you're like, oh, I don't want to bother everybody with my problems. It's going to take too long. I'm going to. It's just too negative. And usually it's because. Or perhaps it's really good news and you just don't want to brag or come across as boastful. There's a lot of ways that we are self judging and self limiting ourselves without even necessarily realizing it in everyday interactions such as that I'm doing fine. It seems so minimal.

Jennifer Norman:
But how often are we doing that to ourselves and then wondering at the end of the day why we feel stuck?

Sharon Rolph:
Yeah.

Jennifer Norman:
Why we feel unfulfilled? Yeah.

Sharon Rolph:
Well, and the lesson I brought is just yesterday, yeah, just yesterday was that the more we are not telling our truth, we are basically isolating ourselves within our body and we're doing it to ourselves and it's not somebody else doing it. To us. So there's like, the example I use is like you might tell your girlfriend one thing, but you wouldn't repeat the same thing to your mom or tell it the same way to your mom because their reaction from these two different people might be totally different. And yet it's still your truth. But how often have we not told our real truth to somebody who might react, might blow up, might keep you at home. You can't go. Ground you.

Sharon Rolph:
Yeah, yeah. Ground you. Yeah. Because there's consequences of you telling your truth. Truth. And I hope it doesn't happen. And yet you know that you know your parents well enough, you know that they're going to have reactions to certain things that you say or do. And yet, to be honest with yourself, I seem to have always had a strong streak of authenticity from a young age.

Sharon Rolph:
So I speak my truth kind of in love. But I. I'll never forget somebody talking extensively about how we slice truth in all kinds of ways. He got pretty close to home. I was surprised at the examples he was using in talking about our untruth that we speak because knowing how it will be received by others and you don't want their reaction or have to deal with the consequences of how they handle it. And yet I think we're getting better as a culture too. Part of that diversity thing too, to some degree. Right.

Sharon Rolph:
So are you telling yourself the truth? Might be another slice of that truth too?

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah. Thanks to Brene Brown. I think the doors have definitely been opened in the aspects of vulnerability and courage and a little bit more of the authenticity and being okay with yourself. And that's precious work that she's doing for humanity for sure. But I think that the concept of finding that inner spark, the exercises that you provided, are so helpful and enlightening for people to try to do during their day. I'm curious because you are also a retirement coach and for those who have gone through their whole career and really are kind of stuck in the way sometimes people get really kind of set in and stuck in their ways. And it's hard to change your behavior, it's hard to change your thinking and your habits. What are some of the things that you do to help help cultivate a little bit more experimentation and curiosity among folks that might be more mature?

Sharon Rolph:
Well, that certainly has happened when I tried converting my regular cookie recipes to gluten free recipes. You do experiment? Yes, yes. I found a recipe this week that was gluten free and it looked mighty good. But experimentation, again, you're doing the best you know how. It takes a lot of courage to stand in their honest truth about. I'm doing the best I know how. But like the affirmations, you're also. I speak my affirmations in a question, so it feels like I'm giving my subconscious something to look for for me.

Sharon Rolph:
Be aware of, where's my red Tesla car? I want cultivate a little more experimentation. Well, it can be as simple as I think. Last week, I made my hot cocoa in the morning with almond flavoring instead of, I usually use mint. Well, there's an experiment. I was glad I used the almond because I liked it. I might do that some more. You know, I'm adding some spice to my life, but it could be as simple as growing a new plant.

Sharon Rolph:
I put on my passion list here last week. Then I've created a new color of tulips. Because when you put two different colors together in the same little hole in the ground, the colors blend, and now you've got a new color. I know a fella who created a new color of dahlias by doing that. That's how I learned how to do that instrumentation. Is that keeping yourself growing, that you're stepping out of a comfort zone. And comfort zones can keep you stuck for sure.

Sharon Rolph:
So trying something new, taking a new route to work or a new way to celebrate somebody. I'm trying to. I'd like to embrace more getting better at celebrating others because I've never been good at that. And so how, when you ask yourself a question, your subconscious will help you find that. I've always been aware of when people say, I can't afford something. Well, if you turn that into, how could I afford that that I want? It keeps that dream or that joy alive, I think. Yeah.

Jennifer Norman:
Oh, I love that. Thank you so much for all of that wisdom. I was thinking about my own mother this morning. My sister sent a text with a lovely little video of this little walk through a path. And there was a brick that was a dedication to my mom's remembrance. It was at the place where she passed, its hospice where she passed. And so I often think about my mom with so much endearment and love these days because she's no longer with us in the physical. But her spirit is so powerful.

Jennifer Norman:
And I think about how over the course of her life, the arc of her life, how in her later years, she just seemed to be so much more okay with herself. She definitely, you know, and I believe that she's kind of passing that on to me as well. And feeling like, you know what, there were certainly mistakes and things in life that happened and nobody perfect. And certainly we can look back at ourselves and recognize that we are only human and we do the best we can. To your point of the precious words from Maya Angelou, we do the best we can until we know better. When we know better, we do better. And when others who may have not done right by us, maybe there was something in their past, such as what was in your home when you were young, knowing forgiveness and knowing, you know what, it's okay, I recognize that that was something that happened. But it's not going to define me. It's not who I am, it's not my life going forward. And I choose not to dwell on the past and wish it was any different.

Jennifer Norman:
I'm actually going to just create this fresh new future for myself and try to step into that energy a little bit more and feeling like we can kind of wash away a lot of those seeds of the past that might be holding us back. My mom, God bless her, she loved to hoard, she loved to collect things. And so she, there was just like all sorts of things and a lot of that is emotional. It's like feeling like she needs to hold on to things. And I think that there's a lot of psychology around that with trauma, you know, victims and whatnot, feeling the need to collect and hoard and wanting the safety of things that kind of replace those emotional needs that are inside of us. But later in life she was able to shed so much, donate, get rid of so much of that stuff that just like was cluttering up her life, literally and figuratively.

Jennifer Norman:
And you know, she felt, you know, just so, so much more free to be, you know, just, just happy to travel, happy to, to do the, some of the things that she lets spend time with her grandkids. And so retirement does not necessarily mean to be all, you know, it's, it's not the end. It's like this could be such a beautiful beginning of actually getting back to who you really are. You know, let's, you know, eradicate so much of that doing that we were so used to. Here is a time for us to start being. And it can be just like a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful period of life.

Sharon Rolph:
Yeah, I see all this free time in retirement as untapped potential. There's trillions of hours of time that needs to be re repurposed in retirement that like I say, we get to live from our heart. But it's, it's, I think we've forgotten how to dream. And I, I agree with what you're saying about your mom because I have a sister like that. I think she's starting to let go of all the things that she's collected. But her first husband had died and it seemed like her way of feeling good about herself was spending money to buy things to feel that hunger, you know, in her spirit. And I'm hoping that she's moving on from that, but I don't know for sure yet. But the untapped potential is what could you dream? It's like we've forgotten how to dream.

Sharon Rolph:
So this exercise I did last week was, I think the website is https://passionpro.org/, and it has, you think about what if you were to be given a hundred million dollars and how would you use it or spend it? You know, and after you've done that first roundabout, then, then, okay, you still have $90,000 left now what are you going to do with that? And it gets you thinking in, in that bigger dream of oh, I was surprised that I came up with being a senior writer for this course. I know a couple guys that are doing capturing people's stories of people that are kind of in the. Well, not end of life. It's, they're, they're, they might be 80, 90 years old in a senior living place, but they're capturing their life stories in what they call Kin Capsule, K-I-N Capsule, like Kindred. And I thought if I, if I couldn't walk every day like I do and feed biscuits to the dogs, I would, I think I would like to capture people's stories and make a new memory for others that are something they can pass on as a legacy.

Jennifer Norman:
That's beautiful. All right, everybody, who's listening? If you had a hundred million dollars, what would you do with it? What is your dream to spend it? And what would be your priority of order? I think that that's a pretty telling exercise.

Sharon Rolph:
Yeah, go ahead.

Jennifer Norman:
Finally, Sharon, if you wanted to give people one piece of advice so that they could ignite their inner spark, what would be that one actionable step that they can take today to start moving toward a life filled with joy, contentment and fulfillment?

Sharon Rolph:
My favorite saying that I like to share on podcasts is from Thomas Wolf. And I actually saw it on the wall at work one day and it goes like this. If one has a talent and fails to use it, one has failed. If one has a talent and partially uses it, one has partially failed. If one has a talent and finds somehow to use the whole of it, they have gloriously succeeded and won a satisfaction few people ever know. I want to empower 10% of the boomers to know themselves and be gloriously satisfied with sharing their talent with the world.

Jennifer Norman:
I love that! Sharon Rolph, everyone please look her up. Sharon what is your website and where can people find you?

Sharon Rolph:
Very easy. SharonRolph.com. Find me on YouTube and on Instagram and now on the Great Discoveries platform, too.

Jennifer Norman:
Oh amazing. Amazing. Thank you so much for being my podcast today. This was lots of fun.

Sharon Rolph:
Thank you for having me, Jenn!

Jennifer Norman:
Thank you for listening to The Human Beauty Movement Podcast. Be sure to follow, follow rate and review us wherever you stream podcasts The Human Beauty Movement is a community based platform that cultivates the beauty of humankind. Check out our workshops, find us on social media, and share our inspiration with all the beautiful humans in your life. Learn more at thehumanbeautymovement.com. Thank you so much for being a beautiful human.