Go From Stuck to Successful with Dr. Benjamin Ritter

Jennifer Norman:
Hello beautiful humans. Welcome to The Human Beauty Movement Podcast, your source for hope, healing, happiness and humanity. My name is Jennifer Norman. I'm the founder of The Human Beauty Movement and your host. This podcast is here to guide you on your journey of self love, empowerment, soul alignment and joy. With each episode, I invite beautiful humans from all corners of the globe to join me for open conversations about their life lessons and the important work that they are doing to help heal humankind. Take a moment now to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss an episode. I'm so glad you're here, joining me for today's show.

Jennifer Norman:
So now today we have an insightful conversation lined up with a true expert in personal and professional development, Dr. Benjamin Ritter. In this episode, we'll delve into his remarkable journey from feeling lost and unfulfilled to becoming a sought after leadership coach and founder of Live For Yourself, LFY Consulting. Dr. Benjamin Ritter is an international leadership and career coach, a senior talent management consultant, a global speaker, and host of the executive and the Live For Yourself Revolution Podcast. He possesses a doctorate in organizational leadership with a focus on value, congruence and job satisfaction, an MBA in entrepreneurial management, and an MPH in health policy administration.

Jennifer Norman:
Dr Benjamin Ritter has coached hundreds of leaders across various industries and organizations, including Amazon, Google, and Yelp. During our conversation, he'll share insights from his personal journey, including pivotal moments of self discovery and career transitions. From this episode, you'll gain actionable strategies for aligning your personal values with your professional goals. You'll hear insights for navigating career transitions with confidence and cultivating a growth mindset for sustained success. So whether you're feeling stuck in your career or seeking greater meaning in your work, Dr. Benjamin Ritter's wisdom and experience are sure to inspire and empower you to live a life that you truly love. So now it's my honor to welcome Dr. Benjamin Ritter to the show. Welcome, Ben.

Benjamin Ritter:
I am very happy to be here and I feel like I need to take you everywhere. That was a beautiful introduction.

Jennifer Norman:
I am the hype girl, let me tell you, because you are worthy of being hyped, I am so appreciative of the universe bringing us together. First of all, and also I have discovered that you're apparently a LinkedIn rock star. Like when you type on LinkedIn, people seem to listen. And one of the funny things, everybody who's listening, if you actually go check him out and follow then on LinkedIn, then you will see if you scroll down through his employment experience like one of his first things that he wrote was, it starts out with, I've done anything and everything. Like, that was one of his experience topics, anything and everything, which I think is brilliant, because a lot of times when we're younger, we're trying anything and everything until we start feeling our way through life. And then ultimately, we get to a place where hopefully we find some clarity and then our purpose. But along the way, it is not easy, is it? It's not easy. And it feels like a lot of just muddiness and confusion and hopelessness.

Jennifer Norman:
I would love for you to share with everybody how you were able to ultimately clear away the weeds and come to a place where you found your purpose.

Benjamin Ritter:
Yeah, that word, purpose. I have a little bit of an aversion to, to be honest, and there's a story there that actually started the business. The worst advice I ever received was find your purpose, and I'll tell you why. But, okay, I want to comment on that note about the jobs that I've listed on LinkedIn. So that actually has a little bit of an origin story. So I have led, like, a very different, maybe professional life, just in terms of never really saw work as work. I never really thought of the nine to five as being kind of the construct I had to live in. So that led to me exploring a lot of different jobs.

Benjamin Ritter:
And, yeah, I probably could say this because my father was an entrepreneur or wasn't very good with authority, which is why probably he was an entrepreneur. But my mom was very much full time employed at a university and education, so I had kind of both areas to learn from. But that specific LinkedIn entry came from, I was talking to somebody, and I, like, actually posted some jobs I used to have when I was younger on Facebook years and years ago. And, like, the odd jobs, like the being knee deep in sewage because I was doing, like, a sump pump, dressing up as a costume character, running around the city of Chicago, scaring people, getting plaster poured on me to be a live cast mannequin. There's 16 of me, by the way, in a civil war museum in the United States. I like, just lots of odd stuff laying down. You haven't, getting ultrasounds done at trade shows, like, everything. Tons of tons of random stuff.

Benjamin Ritter:
And he goes, you know what, Ben? Like, I thought you lived kind of, like, a pretty sheltered life. Like, to know that you did that, like, to know that you explored things, to know that you did, like, dirty jobs. I didn't think that about you. And I was like, well, I don't want people to not know this about me. This is a huge defining part of who I am. So even before I entered into the career space, I added that in because I think it's an important part of who I became and who I am. So that's why it ended up on my profile. I know it might be a little bit longer of a story, but hopefully someone's listening to this and goes like, yeah, maybe I should be proud of the fact that I swept floors.

Benjamin Ritter:
Maybe you guys should be proud of the fact that, yes, I worked in childcare, even though I'm in a completely different field now. Maybe it's okay that my first job selling phones in a Sam's club, maybe that's a really cool part of who I am.

Jennifer Norman:
I think that's a really good point because so many times we're a little bit afraid of like, oh, well, I don't really want to put the things that aren't like Fortune 500 or really show a path of direction, as it were, because a lot of people think, oh, my resume or my CV needs to build to something and show some sort of continuity or a plan. But let's all be honest. A lot of times we're just figuring shit out early on in life and that's okay and we're having fun while we're doing it and trying a lot of different things really helps to build character too, I think.

Benjamin Ritter:
Yeah, very much. Very much so. At least it did for me. And I think some of the jobs that I did in the past helped me develop into who I am. We don't just have our experiences with our friends and our family in education, school, and in life. Our jobs as well add parts of ourselves. Like, we learn from them, we create skills and we have experiences and develop relationships. You know, hopefully we spend a lot of our time at work.

Benjamin Ritter:
And so for me, I don't want to skip over the fact that I mentioned that find your purpose was the worst advice I got because...

Jennifer Norman:
Yes, I was going to not let you escape that.

Benjamin Ritter:
And so one of the problems with a lot of the advice out there in the world, it doesn't come with an instruction book. So you get kind of like a big phrase and then you attach a lot of meaning to it. And I do not attach a lot of healthy meaning to that phrase. So when I heard the phrase find your purpose, I decided that my purpose was to become a professional athlete and then thought that the right thing to do was to commit everything and anything about myself to that purpose itself. So I would only watch soccer on TV, I would only practice three times a day. I wouldn't go be social. I didn't develop friends. You know, eventually when you close yourself off from the real world because you're trying to achieve something, you end up not really developing with the real world.

Benjamin Ritter:
And so when I lost soccer, I was left very empty. I had no self identity. I didn't have a lot of positive social relationships because I didn't invest in them. And at the same time, I had no confidence because I attached who I was and everything about myself to something that was external, something that I had to achieve to make real. And, you know, that was a great turning point in my life because I ended up deciding that I needed to take all that energy and dedication to a sport and give it to myself, which led me to explore personal development and led to the journey, get me to where I am today. But it was terrible advice at the time. And really, I was trying to achieve something. So then I could feel like I was accomplished where I shouldn't have been trying to achieve a purpose.

Benjamin Ritter:
I should have understood that I created my purpose, the thing that I wanted to assign meaning to. And if you are assigning meaning to something, it means that you're greater than that thing, which means that your purpose should never actually overtake your identity or your sense of self or your confidence or your health. And I wish someone taught me that and would have helped me prioritize a little bit better. And so anyone, if you're listening and you're like, I got to find my purpose, you gotta go. Maybe, like, you can create your purpose. You can go explore different things and decide if you want to assign meaning to them, if you want to invest in them, you should never invest your sense of self into something external of who you are.

Jennifer Norman:
Oh, wow, that is rich information right there, because, yes, you are exactly right. The instruction manual doesn't exist. And a lot of times when somebody says something like, just be yourself, a lot of times we have no idea what that means. You got to find your purpose. I think Elizabeth Gilbert did a brilliant, brilliant TED talk on that about, you know, she knew that she wanted to write from, like, the day she was born, and then everybody else is like, well, good for you. I'm struggling. I cannot figure myself out. And so it's kind of like, yes, there are a lot of journeys that are in this aspect of what you want to do with your life.

Jennifer Norman:
But hanging it on a hat, which is something like a thing like soccer or basketball or accountant or engineer, is perhaps not what we mean or what it is meant or intended by purpose. I also felt the same way. I felt like I was chasing a lot of things externally until I realized that purpose for me. And I don't have such an aversion to it. I actually like the word because I think perhaps, maybe just intuitively, I now believe that purpose is almost like a feeling. It's almost like where you find your joy and what brings you health and happiness and thrivingness. And if closing yourself off from the world and going into one tunnel visioned avenue, such as it sounds like the journey of soccer was for you, like, once you start feeling that, then you know that you're not really on the right track. But again, we don't know that because we think that's discipline.

Jennifer Norman:
We think that's hard work. We think that that's valor. And so there are a lot of labels associated with, like, going through the no pain, no gain. But I found out only after a lot of soul searching and discovery that, like, my purposes, to help to spread compassion. And however that turns out, it could be through any aspect of my life. It's like I'm here as a person of, like, a vessel of compassion, as a vehicle and a channel of compassion. And so, however that represents itself is kind of like, yay, it's flow to me. It's kind of like it doesn't matter, and it doesn't seem like it's as pigeonholing.

Jennifer Norman:
And so perhaps that is something for people to ponder who are listening is like, whether we use the word purpose or not, is that thing that you're clinging on to something that you are chasing because of? And I know ego is also another word that's thrown around a lot, but is it something that you think that you're supposed to be doing, or is it something that really, like, just lights your soul up on fire and really feels like, yeah, I really love what I'm doing. So I'd love for you to say a little bit more about this, because I know that you are now career coaching. You're a personal development. I mean, this is your space, and so I want you to have the floor and talk about, like, what your path was. Once you did say, oh, okay, I went through that. That wasn't the right door now. Oh, okay. This is how I actually found clarity.

Benjamin Ritter:
And I think we're actually saying a lot of the same things, but I've just chosen not to use the word purpose anymore. And instead, what I use is values. And, for example, one of my main values is health. Another value is connection. Another value is passion. And the value is, okay, where am I sourcing my actions from? What am I comparing my actions to? And so, for example, like, one of the ways that I live my value, the way that I'm sourcing it today, is creating a movement where people feel more proactive, they feel more empowered and accountable to be proactive in their careers and to be a leader, even without the title, or to develop as a leader and believe in yourself as who you are in the workplace and develop the skills that you need, as well as a more fulfilling career for yourself. And so for me, that relates to my value of health in a couple different ways. But so values, or some people might say where I gain passion or fulfillment or energy or where I feel aligned or right are very similar to this definition of, like, I'm choosing this to be my purpose, but there needs to be an understanding that the conduit, how you channel that into the world, can change depending on circumstances that are in front of you.

Benjamin Ritter:
And throughout my career, a lot of different paths didn't work, or I tried them out and they weren't what I expected. And, you know, it took some time for me to figure out this conduit, this channel, this medium, and the other things that didn't work out. Like, we talked about soccer, I talked about. I didn't talk about yet, but I'm going to. I was going to be a dietitian. So nutrition and health, and they canceled my majority. I was going to work in public health, and I did for a while, until the federal government lost funding. And the four different job offers that I got were all canceled after I received them, after working in the field.

Benjamin Ritter:
And then I networked into healthcare, which was good for a couple of years until I was promoted into a position that kind of stripped away a lot of the meaning that I associated to the job. And so there was a lot of, like, maybes and tastes. I hope people that are listening that maybe have a similar experience or feel like the doors in front of them are shut, realize that right now it's a very small portion of your life and youre career, and a shut door is just a path that you've tried. And if you look left or look right or look up or look down or even look behind you, there's a million other paths that you potentially could take that could allow you to live a lot of your values, but just in a different way and keep that in mind, that fulfillment is still there, even if a path that you're going down seems to be shut. And eventually, too, it might open up over time. You can pound on the door for a while, might even jar, and you can squeeze through, or you can create a new path next to yourself. I'm going to share the origin story of, like, how I got to where today, but I'm going to pause because I think this is an important, important just idea to sit in for a second.

Jennifer Norman:
I love that. Thank you so much for this pause. For us to reflect on the idea that one door closing. Oh, it's painful in the moment. Let's not lie. And it's okay to feel sore about it because it's a part of the human experience. It's not easy. And then it's kind of like, okay, once we're able to regain our composure, once we're able to think about it, can we see it as the opportunity? And maybe for the benefits that it was, maybe it wasn't the right opportunity.

Jennifer Norman:
Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it's the universe telling you that something else, greater is on its way to you.

Benjamin Ritter:
So for your purpose of compassion, like, how have you lived that? How have you been able to connect to it through actions in the world?

Jennifer Norman:
Oh, thank you for interviewing the interviewer. I appreciate that, that question back, because I will often say that once I discovered that I use the word 'ikigai' a lot, I'm sure that you've heard 'ikigai' quite a lot, as well. And so, once I centered and found my groove in compassion, based upon all of my life experiences and how my soul journey has essentially gone, if people believe in soul journeys, I recognized that by holding space for people to just be, is a wonderful thing. And so having a podcast such as this, holding space so that others can share their message, is an act of compassion, and it's an act of love, and it's an act of me wanting to be a vessel for everybody who has a wonderful story to tell (and that is everybody) to be able to have the opportunity to do so, and to do so with kindness and love and an understanding that we may agree, we may disagree. There may be a lot of discussions on here where I'm like, okay, I can't endorse that, but however, you have every right to say what you say. You have every right to feel how you feel and having real conversations, rather than the superficial social media type ones that are just essentially, here I am for show. It's like, let's be okay with being our authentic selves and then also being an advocate for those who haven't had a voice to be able to speak up or those who haven't had an opportunity to have a seat at the table.

Jennifer Norman:
So being an advocate for diverse populations such as black brothers and sisters, my brown brothers and sisters, and my eyes were truly opened the moment that my son was diagnosed with a severe genetic disorder. And he is actually fully disabled and on life support. And so I have great compassion for the disability community and want to be a champion for people of all abilities. And so for everything from writing storybooks for kids to learn about abilities and disabilities to having the human beauty movement, where we can have open conversations about hope, healing, happiness and humanity, those are the ways that they're expressing themselves right now, but I imagine that they will evolve.

Benjamin Ritter:
How beautiful. In all the ways that you've been able to connect to compassion and to personally also connect. Like, you can hear the energy behind, like, the actions that you're taking, like, the. The connection to meaning that's within you and within the world around you. And you mentioned multiple different things that you're doing to, like, bring this into the world. And I think generally, from what I experience from clients and just in workshops and just from hearing what people are saying about their career and their life, they're looking for the one thing to do. And what if there isn't one thing? And that actually, the gift is that there isn't one thing. The gift is that you can do so many things.

Benjamin Ritter:
And the last comment you made was, and the things that I do might evolve and change, because the things that I want to impact the way I want to connect to the world, the way I wait, my message, my meaning, my experiences at the time will evolve. That's what life is.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah.

Benjamin Ritter:
Is there something that you're just starting or thinking of starting to connect you more to compassion, even an idea?

Jennifer Norman:
Interestingly, I am looking to, I would say, expand the areas that I'm working on now in multiple ways. This show is more about you than it is about me. And so all I'll say is, I absolutely appreciate the question. I'm so excited, and that's how I know it's right. It's like when you feel like within every fiber of your being that you're just excited and you're enthusiastic about what's to come, then you kind of, you know you're on the right track. And the thing for me was that I really. It took me a long, long time to start trusting in the process because it's easy to say, oh, my God, it's been a year. I'm filled with self doubt.

Jennifer Norman:
Oh, my God, I'm not making the money. You know? And so a lot of those things that we are used to seeing as cues of success start getting in our head, and then we start scrambling and getting desperate. And it took a long time for me to recognize that there is no need for desperation, no matter how difficult it seems, no matter how dark it is. And it's totally normal and valid to feel that way. But if you can always continue to follow that passion that you were saying you love, the idea of values and passion and health, like, if all of those things are your markers for being on the right track, then I would say, keep at it. You've had so much experience with the idea of people feeling so stuck in their careers. I think that's like, jobs, careers. Sometimes people just get, like, heavy feeling, like their body language changes and they start feeling, oh, job, I've got a way of doing this.

Jennifer Norman:
And they feel like a bit of oppression. And I think that that is that feeling of being stuck. I would love for you to talk about how you're able to help people navigate to something that feels a bit more fulfilling. How do people get unstuck in their careers? What can they do to get into that place of joy and fulfillment?

Benjamin Ritter:
Yes. And by the way, I think I was focusing a little bit on your own journey, too, because it is a great example. I can sit here and talk about what I know, but it's a great example of just understanding that if you get an idea and you know that it aligns with the things that spark joy and you draw the need for any sort of outcome, you let go of, you stop looking at the finish line, and instead you look at the next step. A lot of things are possible. And people ask me, Ben, how is it that you get an idea and you go do it? I go, well, once you have confidence in yourself and you're not worried about the outcome, you're more interested in maybe the work or the product, then anything is really possible. And when you truly know who you are and what you care about, at least what you care about, not what you want to do, what you care about, then showing up and doing those things matters to you, and it matters less what people think about you. So I got a book coming out at the end of this year, and it was just time for me to write this book. And it was like, once the decision was made, there was no question that the book was going to be written or not.

Benjamin Ritter:
There's no question that's going to be published or not. Who publishes it might be dependent on who's interested in publishing it, but it's going to happen. And that level of certainty we all can have. But all too often I work with a client. I mean, they're, they're afraid of applying for a job. They're afraid of sending a message to somebody on LinkedIn. And this fear is common and natural, and if you feel it, it is in the world, but it is not something that is real. It is an interpretation of data that you are allowing to hold you back from achieving certain things in life.

Benjamin Ritter:
And so generally, when people are stuck, they are missing something in one of three categories. And so when I work with clients, we focus on the three c's of self leadership, clarity, confidence and control. And if you're stuck, you don't have clarity, you might not have confidence, and you might not have control. And so what that means is you don't know maybe who you are and what you care about. So maybe you aren't very sure of your values. There's generally a, if you know what you really care about, you feel confident enough in those areas to show up in those places, to start doing some things, to take action in a certain way, not all the time, but generally that level of knowing can be very motivating. Now, when you know what you care about, generally you can attach actions to it so you can define certain goals that you want to achieve. Like, oh, I care about careers and leadership and health, and so how do I want to live that today? How can I realistically based on my environment and the experience that I have? So, generally, you can create goals, but let's say you do know what you care about.

Benjamin Ritter:
Like, I know I really want to do this thing, I really want to achieve this thing, I really want to work in this industry, I really want to go to this event, but I don't have confidence. So generally what you might see also is that people know what they care about. They think they know what they care about. They have some idea they need to go test it out. But for some reason, they don't believe enough in themselves or they don't believe in the skills that they think are required to go do that thing. And so we might also work on reframing, and we might also work on like looking at the inner critic and the beliefs that currently that you have and making sure that we can deconstruct those, analyze them, prove that they're not true, and choose some new beliefs. We might also, though, just work on some skills, like for example, I couldn't be a leadership coach if I didn't go learn about leadership development. I couldn't teach someone about their career if I didn't know what was happening in the job market.

Benjamin Ritter:
So there's also something that just comes along with confidence in skills. But then if you're just starting in something, you also know what's like the minimum viable level that I need to get from a skills perspective, that I feel confident enough to try something out. And how can I adjust my expectations for myself to align to where I'm at professionally or skill wise? Which, because, I mean, I'm very different than what I was when I first started, but then I approached work differently, I charged differently, I sold myself differently, and then control. Control is how you show up on a daily basis. It's the environment around you that allows you to be successful. So, for example, from a job perspective, it might be simple, something as simple as I'm going to spend 20 minutes every day, like putting it in my schedule, no matter how I feel, applying a job, looking at jobs, networking with people, or reading a book on leadership or whatever it is, if you're not creating an environment for yourself where it's easy for you to take an action towards the things that you've defined from a clarity perspective, and then to build confidence in what you're focused on, then you're not going to be successful. And one of the worst things that people do is they make a decision to be something else, to dive into a different area, but they're still trying. They're still living in the same environment.

Benjamin Ritter:
That has nothing to do with it. Meaning that they still have the same best friends that aren't where they want to be. They still read and listen to the same media that doesn't relate to where they want to be. And those types of things can drastically hold you back.

Jennifer Norman:
And so do you think that along the way, when people are on this road of trying to gain clarity, gain confidence, and these are big buckets. I mean, they are very simple words and very easy to kind of roll off of the tongue between clarity, confidence, and control. But a lot of them do take a lot of work, like personal development work, perhaps from a coach such as yourself, to help really break it down. Let people understand what those programs, those scripts are running in their head, how they're behaving, what their mindsets are, how they're showing up in the world and what they might want to do in order to continue just growing and becoming more of the self that they're intended to be. How do you get people to even start on this journey?

Benjamin Ritter:
Well, you gotta just start. I mean, like, how do you get on the start? Will you start? One of the biggest mistakes, and I think it's helpful, but one of the biggest mistakes that I see is someone that doesn't know what they want. And this is generally what happens. I'll get on a sales call with somebody. They're not. They're still afraid of investing or afraid of the change that can happen. They are unsure what it means because they're currently lost and they're in a fog. And so they go, great idea.

Benjamin Ritter:
Maybe when I'm more ready. And generally for the next year to two years, they travel, they quit their jobs, they almost kind of go inward.

Jennifer Norman:
Is it an Eat Pray Love sort of a thing?

Benjamin Ritter:
But without the experiences. So they feel that clarity requires clarity, knowledge of the exact thing that I want. Do they feel that reflection without exactly guidance and space and time is going to lead them to a specific outcome? And there is a benefit to getting out of your natural habitat, to exploring the world, to connecting to nature, to connecting to humans, but without action, without novelty, without exploration, without curiosity within the areas that you might be interested in, all you're doing is extending the pause, allowing yourself potentially to work through some of the trauma and some of the toxicity that you've experienced. But you're not allowing yourself to even be able to create clarity because you're not adding any new experiences. I think we missed that when we're trying to... When I'm working with a client, I'm learning what you actually want to do for your career, for the next chapter in your career. Yes, there are some reflective questions about your past experiences, but mainly the majority is going to test some ideas out.

Benjamin Ritter:
And I think without that testing period, we get stuck, we stay stuck. And that's one of, I think, the biggest changes I might want to try to create in the world, and I hope our audience takes away from this episode, is that you don't need to know exactly what you want to do to explore things that you might want to do.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah, sometimes that openness really brings opportunities that you never would have expected to you. However, you have some experience with this where it just seems like just a coincidence of sorts that something all of a sudden happened and came into your life and you're like, oh, this is an opportunity, maybe I should follow it. And it wasn't only after you had followed that did you feel like, oh, this wasn't quite the right thing. But, I mean, did you feel that it was time wasted, or did you feel like, oh, it was actually something valuable? It was time where I learned something.

Benjamin Ritter:
I wouldn't be here if my life didn't go the exact way that it went. So I have to say that it happened the way that it was supposed to happen. Maybe there's some alternative universes where I'm doing something completely different, which would be interesting. I'd like to watch that TV show. But, yes, there are many moments in my life where I felt that serendipity occurred. And honestly, I think that serendipity is a lot of hard work, a lot of intentional hard work, and a little bit of luck. And, you know, with putting it out there in the universe that you want to create something and you show up, this is where that control comes in. If you show up enough times, you might knock some puzzle pieces in place.

Benjamin Ritter:
And, you know, for me personally, like, I went on that journey for four years, four and a half years, to just develop self confidence, to explore things, to be a curiosity sailor. I kind of put my sailing hat on. I just went. And with no expectations of what I was going to create, other than I wanted to learn skills to become social, I wanted to tackle fear. I wanted to be able to say yes to practically everything and taste life had to offer. And through that, I was able to develop a pretty rock solid identity of just. And it wasn't really I know what I want to do. It was, I am comfortable with who I am, which I think is even more important than knowing this is what I want to do and what.

Benjamin Ritter:
Okay, I'm gonna let that sit. So then I was at a bar talking to some people, because one of the things I would challenge myself with was going out alone and just having conversations, and someone meth me and or ran into me, and he's like, I know what you're doing. I'm watching you. Like, you have good social skills. I need you to meet my boss. And it was like, what? And the next day, it was my first experience in coaching. It was. I was hired to be a nationwide men's coach, and I worked for a large company.

Benjamin Ritter:
I worked for him for about a year. He was, like, followed around by ask men and men's health and a variety of larger companies. And when I realized that I don't want to work for him, I didn't appreciate his business practice. And it wasn't something I wanted to do full time. It was something that the universe said, hey, get a taste of this. I decided that I wanted to share the things that I learned over that four and a half, five year period and that year of coaching with the world. And so I decided to write a book and realized very quickly that people don't buy your book if they don't know who you are. And so I decided that if I wanted my knowledge to get out into the world, didn't have any grand plans for business I needed, or a name or brand or whatever it is, and then I needed to start a business, and I needed to learn how to build a service based business, and so I learned how to do that.

Benjamin Ritter:
And this is while, like, working full time and going to school full time, like, this is kind of a side thing. Never wanted to become a full time hustle, and did that for five and a half years. Painstakingly, though, because I did it because I wanted to sell a book, not because I wanted to build a business, not because I wanted to be a coach. And I should have realized, I should have given my. Given myself a timeline, say, Ben, do this for a year, get a name, sell the book, and keep pursuing the things that you care about. You should never do something that you know that you don't really want to do. It's, you should show up to work and be proud of the work that you're doing. And if for some reason, you can't make yourself proud of the work, you should find, as hard as you can, something that you can feel proud of.

Benjamin Ritter:
And I did not feel proud of that job. And at the same time, I was working in healthcare and did not feel proud of that job. And I had leaders that were terrible, toxic. It was a very difficult environment to work in. I was going into work, not to work. I was hiding from my boss and my coworkers, but was seen as a high achiever, was seen as someone that was a rock star at work. And it blew my mind that someone could be perceived as having such high potential, but be surrounded by toxicity and how disengaging it was for me in the workplace and how little they were getting from me because of this leadership that I was receiving. Now, up to that point, I was selected for a leadership program.

Benjamin Ritter:
I received 16 months of leadership training. Before that, when I was networking to get a full time job, I applied for federal grant for six months of public health, life coaching for public health professionals. So received life coaching, and then I was a coach. And then I had my own personal journey. Coaching was this thing, this light bulb throughout my life, where everything else in my professional career seems to be a little bit of a shut door. But I kept coming back to coaching. Coaching kept being this, like, through line. And so it hit me one day when I was walking into work, blaming the world for how terrible I felt, which never do, by the way.

Benjamin Ritter:
You are always a, you know, you're never a victim of anyone but yourself. And was able to turn that light inward and go, I'm responsible. Wow, that's irrelevant. And it seems like I was, like, walking into work that day and looking around and people like, I almost, like, looked at them and it was like looking at myself. And they just all looked dejected and tired and didn't want to do what they were doing. And I was like, that's me. I don't want to do what I'm doing, so why am I doing it? I spent five years exploring what life is like, getting curious, being fearless, but can't do it for my job. And I woke up, woke out of bed, I hit the alarm clock, turned it off, said hello to the sun, decided to make a change, and did a career audit in real that coaching was that through line, and it aligned with my value of health and leadership and career development, which was such a very difficult time in my life.

Benjamin Ritter:
I wanted to change for the world, and it didn't lead to starting a business. It led to me going to my boss and saying, I want to work with this leadership program. I want to go work in talent development. I want to get this experience. But that was at least the start of this path, and it led me to where we are today.

Jennifer Norman:
Well, there are so many people who have this situation where they want to make a jump or they're being required to make a jump, shall we say, in their careers. And so their next step is not really met with great confidence. There is actually a lot of self doubt and a little bit of fear about whether or not the job is going to be upwardly mobile, whether or not it's going to be something that provides them the same kind of income as the last one if it's for a reputable company. There's so many questions and reasons why people feel a bit nervous about making another move when they're navigating their career transition. What is the mindset that you would advise for people to get into when they're thinking about removing themselves either from a toxic situation, as you've just described, or they are being required to find another opportunity for income?

Benjamin Ritter:
It is a difficult situation to feel like you're rejected and feeling rejected from your job, like getting lucky go is very difficult. People tend to question themselves even if they didn't want to be at their job. Being in a toxic work environment and feeling like you have to be there or you're at fault or you can't leave because of financial reasons is probably worse. And they. It's like you're constantly having someone chisel away at your self identity and your self confidence. I can't tell you how many clients I've worked with that are don't realize that they're dealing with past trauma of a boss that was basically abusive or a co worker that was. And we put up with it because we think we have to. We think that's what the work environment is like and we think that that's what work deserves.

Benjamin Ritter:
And I think that's changing, which is good. And I think conversations like this help change it. But you should never have to be in a work environment that makes you question your capabilities or self worth. Now, sometimes we are the ones that question our capabilities based on feedback. Instead of seeing it as impersonal, we kind of personalize it and we have to first be our best at work. So what would your best friend tell you in terms of boundaries? How do you feel safe? How do you feel secure? But when it comes to, like, trying to figure out what's next or dealing with going to what's next, there's a few different things. The first thing I would suggest would be to make it so you don't need your job. Build a Runway for yourself, and if you're not in that place right now, then we'll have some other steps.

Benjamin Ritter:
But generally, if you don't feel like you are reliant on your job, for your safety and your security, then you're going to have more options, be able to put up more boundaries, be able to live more for yourself, and it's incredibly important. So however you need to do that. I had three jobs and went to school full time at once and I sacrificed myself to keep a certain standard of living and to have independence over my employer. At the time, that was important to me. That was something that I held dear. If you know you need to leave or wondering what it's like in the market, the number one belief I would recommend that you just need to instill in yourself is that you've gotten jobs before, you're going to get jobs in the future. And the job you're at now does not define your career. And I think in general, the number was like eleven last I checked.

Benjamin Ritter:
In terms of jobs, you might have in your lifetime. But I think that's higher now. I think that's closer to 20, which is a little kind of, like, unheard of. You're kind of like, mouth hits the floor, like, what are you talking about? But, like, in your professional career, it was seven, and then it went up to eleven. And I think now it's hovering kind of in between that and 20. When you think about that, like, what number are you at? Like, how important is this job to you? And also job transitions, like, that next job, it, maybe it won't come with more pay, but generally they do. Maybe it won't come with a higher title. Generally it does, depending on how you brand yourself.

Benjamin Ritter:
And so every step forward you take in your career, especially when you're leaving something that's toxic, is an addition to your brand that's going to be helpful when you get to job 13 or 14, and it's going to help. You can capitalize on that.

Jennifer Norman:
Interesting. Well, thank you so much for sharing all of that wonderful information. I've definitely been one of those people who, who has had probably upwards closer to the 20 job mark, I think. And there's no shame in getting fired, I would think. I was fired from three or four different jobs. Seriously. And it was painful every single time.

Benjamin Ritter:
Yeah, I have to say about that real quick, because if you're laid off or you're fired, you know, who knows that? You people, you tell, you know, who cares about that? Maybe your last employer probably not. Probably will forget about it pretty soon. You get to choose the story you tell about your career. So choose one that empowers you instead of one that diminishes you.

Jennifer Norman:
Mm hmm. Very good point. I think that a lot of people are, like, wondering, how do I talk about this? If I'm on the job market again? And I just came off of a situation where I was let go, like, what do I do? And, yeah, I mean, there is confidentiality. They are not allowed to ask, like, those kinds of questions of your previous employer. It's just that that person was here that amount of time, and then that is it. And the story that you weave after that is really yours. And how you position it is certainly yours to tell. However, there is so much goodness that can actually happen, and I think it's one of the reasons why the gig economy is so high.

Jennifer Norman:
Entrepreneurs, entrepreneurship is high. A lot of digital nomads out here in the universe are doing their thing and able to travel and live lives untethered, which is kind of cool. I mean, now is really the time where we can design our lives and our careers around our loves and our passions. It's quite a unique time to be alive when it comes to that aspect.

Benjamin Ritter:
It's an unbelievable time to be alive if you're fearless enough to go after it. I was talking to someone yesterday. I was leading a workshop on the three greatest mistakes you make during your job search. And someone was asking, how do I be more fearless in my job search? And we just started throwing out ideas as a group. And one of them was go to the website, use the form on that website, ask to talk to someone in certain department, go to their socials, introduce yourself, say that you'd love to talk to someone about their product or whatever it is. You can then find their phone number, call them, like when you finally decide to. And I see your next job is like a million bucks. Your job.

Benjamin Ritter:
Your next job is a million bucks. What would you do for it? What would you do for it? And we hold ourselves back way too much because we're worried about getting rejected or overstepping. And it's a very big world, there's a lot of people in it, and there's a lot of opportunities because of it. So what are you going to do to serve yourself and to be a little bit more proactive towards the things that I want to say you deserve? Because if you decide to take action towards it and you decided to make a path towards it, it might not happen, but at least you're being intentional and giving the universe the opportunity to fulfill it.

Jennifer Norman:
Yeah. Fearlessness is an interesting topic when it comes to career searching. Because again, it's like, let the other person say no. Don't say no to yourself before that other person even has an opportunity to. Don't, like, inhibit yourself from actually going and writing the letter or the email or submitting yourself for that job. And there are statistics around the fact that underprivileged or minority women like a lot of disadvantages. Disadvantaged people will not even try. They'll be like, oh, I don't qualify for this.

Jennifer Norman:
I only have nine out of the ten qualifications. Forget it. I'm not even going to try. And that's just a shame because in many cases you'd probably be overcome or more qualified than a lot of the other candidates that are applying but don't get in your own way, perhaps, and you'll be able to have more opportunities to show your enthusiasm and your fearlessness.

Benjamin Ritter:
Yeah, let them say no.

Jennifer Norman:
Exactly. I can't let you go without asking about Empath Partners, can you tell us a little bit about that.

Benjamin Ritter:
Yeah, so I have a very large interest and in advocacy and promotion of the psychedelic field, the field of psychedelics, for its benefits for healthcare and just in general public health. And so I made it a point to find a way to get involved. And so I attended psychedelic science. I started interviewing CEO's at major companies within the industry. I started networking and came across Empath Ventures, which basically is a fund for the psychedelic industry, and joined up as a limited partner and so get to be able to actually support the companies that are making a difference in the space. And so, yeah, if anyone is interested in being an investor part of a fund, please send me a message. Or if you are a company in the psychedelic space that is looking for funding, I'm happy to make introductions for you.

Benjamin Ritter:
It is something that's really important to me even. I'm a part of the microdosing collective, which does policy advocacy work. And I hope to continue to see the progress that we are seeing right now in the field of psychedelics.

Jennifer Norman:
I do hope that there are going to be more and more studies, more research around the benefits of psychedelics, and also safety, of course, so that we can have dosing instructions so that we can have more conscientious usage of it. Because it's like plant medicine. There is just so much to behold in terms of the goodness of what nature can do. And for a lot of these particular plants to have been vilified and unfortunately come under scrutiny from government regulations and such, the hope is that a lot of that will soon be lifted and that we will be able to have more and more people benefiting from these types of therapies that might be an alternative to big pharma. So, Ben, lastly, if anybody wants to get in touch with you, if anybody wants to work with you, how can they find you?

Benjamin Ritter:
First, go to liveforyourselfconsulting.com. that's liveforyourselfconsulting.com. I got a bunch of stuff there. Got some free guides to creating a fulfilling career. I got all podcasts that I've been on. This will be up there. Got my own podcasts, all the fun stuff. I also am very active on LinkedIn.

Benjamin Ritter:
So if you want to get a hold of me and actually have a conversation with me, connect with Dr. Benjamin Ritter on LinkedIn. Send me a message. If you even follow me, you'll probably get a message from me. That's how active I am. So those are the two main places.

Jennifer Norman:
Dr. Benjamin Ritter, thank you so much for being on the show today. I think that you have been able to provide a wealth of information and a lot of thought provoking content for people to really think about what they're doing in their own careers and how they are designing their lives so that they can live more fulfilled and with greater health and joy. Thank you so much for being on The Human Beauty Movement Podcast.

Benjamin Ritter:
Thank you so much for having me. I feel more beautiful. I feel more human, and I'm ready to do some movement.

Jennifer Norman:
Thank you for listening to The Human Beauty Movement Podcast. Be sure to follow, follow rate and review us wherever you stream podcasts The Human Beauty Movement is a community based platform that cultivates the beauty of humankind. Check out our workshops, find us on social media, and share our inspiration with all the beautiful humans in your life. Learn more at thehumanbeautymovement.com. thank you so much for being a beautiful human.